I Would Rather Die Than Kiss You – Part 03
When I got home, I found Haruna groaning at the entryway with the telephone in her hand.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“A-Ayumu! How long have you been standing there?”
She quickly hid the phone behind her back. Was she up to something sketchy?
“What are you planning to do with the phone?”
“It’s none of your business.”
“Except that’s my house’s phone. If you don’t tell me, I’ll do your laundry and wash your underwear.”
“Okay, fine,” she gave in and casually returned the receiver to its cradle. Her cowlick swayed side to side as she mulled something over. “I was thinking of apologizing to Big Teach.”
I was stunned. Haruna, offering to apologize on her own? Over that argument? Really? Huh. I guess Big Teach meant that much to her.
“But I just feel like saying sorry isn’t enough,” she added.
“Then why not invite her to the arcade or something?” I suggested.
Her cowlick sprang up. “Yes! That’s it! Big Teach would totally love that.”
Seeing her so excited made me feel honored to have been of help.
Snatching up the phone quickly like she was playing a game of Hammer and Helmet,[1] Haruna wasted no time dialing.
“Hi, Big Teach? It’s me. Haruna from Refrain Year, Rising Class.”
As I wondered why women only changed their entire personality when they were on the phone, I headed back to my room, where I found Sera tidying up.
“Oh, you’re home,” she said.
“Yeah. Man, having you around makes life so much easier.”
“It’s simply necessary to clean the trash bin regularly.”
So my room is a trash bin, huh.
I set down my bag and started changing out of my uniform. Sera didn’t seem to care at all about me changing right next to her. If it were Haruna, her face would’ve turned bright red. I pulled open the drawer and grabbed the top pair of jeans.
“By the way, Ayumu. Next time you put out your laundry, make sure to empty your pockets first.”
She held out that pencil-shaped bomb. Right, I totally forgot about that. It would’ve been a disaster if it went off mid-wash.
“My bad.”
As I checked to make sure nothing else was wrong, she held out a glasses case.
“And about these glasses.”
Oh, shit. She found the pervy specs. This was bad.
“Uh, well.”
If she learned they were X-ray glasses, she’d definitely lop my head off.
While I scrambled to come up with a lie, she looked me dead in the eyes and said, “If you had it with you, why didn’t you give them to me?”
Wait, what? These black-rimmed glasses were hers?
“No one told me anything when I got them.”
Hold on. The person who handed them to me said, “You’ve been briefed, right?” Maybe both Sera and that girl thought the other one would fill me in.
“I really don’t like going to your school,” Sera said. “But I should’ve gone to get it myself.”
“So that girl was a conservative Vampire Ninja like you?”
“Exactly. Did she not tell you anything?”
“Nope. Why would you want those pervy specs anyway?”
“Did you use this? You disgust me. No, you already disgust me, so could you kindly teach me a new word that means even more disgusted?”
You don’t ask that to the person you’re disgusted with. Also, stop staring at me with such fiery eyes.
“So, what are you gonna use those glasses for?” I asked.
Sera pulled out a sheet of paper from her pocket. “They can see through things.”
“Yeah, I’ve verified its capabilities.”
“They’re necessary to read this secret message.”
“Ah, got it. So why give it to me?”
“I did go to fetch it once, but I couldn’t find my old friend. So, I told them they could give it to you instead.”
Things like that, you’re supposed to inform the person about it beforehand. I guess both sides assumed the other would explain, and that’s where it all went wrong.
“I assume it’s about that device.” Sera put on the glasses. “Just as I suspected. To stop the device…”
The paper slipped from Sera’s trembling hands. She didn’t move an inch, like time itself had frozen.
“You okay? What does it say?”
Sera silently removed the glasses, touched a finger to her lips, and fell into thought.
“Ayumu, what should I do?”
“I’m asking you: what does it say?”
“It says… to kill Miss Hellscythe.”
What? But Sera came here to protect Eu, didn’t she? Killing Eu would make it impossible to revive the chief of the Vampire Ninjas.
“Why the hell do you need to kill her?”
“According to the letter, there are fools planning to use that device to turn all of humanity into Vampire Ninjas.”
“And what does that have to do with Eu?”
“It’s probably their countermeasure against the surge in yokai appearances. If even half of humanity becomes Vampire Ninjas, they think they can handle not just this incident, but anything like it in the future. All of it traces back to the yokai outbreak. And if you follow that thread to the source, you reach Miss Hellscythe.”
How the fuck did that make any sense? None of this added up.
“Didn’t they say there was someone trying to destroy that device?”
“They did,” Sera said. “I thought this letter referred to that. But I was wrong.”
“Isn’t it obvious what you should do? This thing’s worthless.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“Weren’t you assigned to protect Eu? Killing her—”
“The mission has changed. Don’t you understand what that means?”
“No. Not at all.”
“I’m a ninja, you know?”
“So what?”
“Forget it.”
Sera turned to leave, visibly annoyed. I couldn’t tell what exactly she was angry about.
I slipped the pencil-shaped bomb into my pocket and grabbed her arm tightly as she passed me.
“Stop! What are you planning to do?”
“If I stopped the yokai outbreak, then there would be no need to kill Miss Hellscythe.”
“How are you gonna do that? Are you planning to take on all the Megalo by yourself?”
“Yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying. We know who’s behind this. I’ll find them, and kill them.”
“You know that’s impossible. Why don’t you just report the Kyouko matter to your superior first?”
“I already did. I’ve reported everything about the encounter with them.”
“And even after that, they still ordered you to kill Eu?”
“This letter was the last thing they sent. In other words, nothing has changed.”
“Still, this whole thing’s completely off the rails.”
“An extreme measure, yes. That’s it!”
“Huh?”
“This ridiculous plan they devised led to the order to kill Miss Hellscythe. So if we just destroy that device, maybe the mission will change.”
“And if it doesn’t? Are you still going to kill Eu?”
“If that happens, then unfortunately, I would have no cho—”
“Fuck that!” I finally snapped.
Sera’s eyes grew wide.
“Why the hell are you Vampire Ninjas so damn rigid?! If you don’t want to do something, then don’t do it!”
“You don’t understand the weight of a mission.”
“And Eu’s life weighs less than that?!”
“That’s not fair! For us Vampire Ninjas—”
“I’ve heard enough of that bullshit. Just answer me. Are you really going to kill Eu?”
“Stop asking something so obvious!”
“That’s not what I want to hear! Which is it?! Are you going to kill her or not? I’m not asking a Vampire Ninja. I’m asking you, Sera!”
“Of course I don’t want to kill her!”
Her beautiful jade eyes shimmered. That sharp, firm gaze of hers wavered for once.
“Always the honest one, huh,” I said.
“Spare me the flattery. It’s gross.”
She exhaled sharply, rubbed her eyes with a finger, then wearing her usual steely expression, said firmly, “But you helped me clear my head. I’m abandoning the mission.”
I let out a long sigh. “First things first. We’ve gotta do something about that device.”
“Yeah.”
Just then, we heard loud footsteps from outside the room, and I knew exactly who it was from the sound alone. Haruna.
“Ayumu! I’m heading to the arcade. Wanna come?”
Sera and I exchanged glances.
“Sorry, I’ve got something to take care of. Is Big Teach coming?”
“Yup! You know how Big Teach wiped out all those Megalo? Well, she ended up getting some time off and now she’s bored out of her mind.”
I could easily tell how excited she was. It sounded like they made up.
“This is a rare opportunity,” I said. “You and Big Teach should go have fun, just the two of you.”
“Aww, you should come too. What about you, leaf lady?”
“I’ve got some business to attend to.”
“Why not invite Eu?”
“Negamancer? She said she doesn’t really want to leave the house.”
Was she still blaming herself for Kyouko and the Megalo showing up?
“Next time, we’ll all go together,” I said.
“Really? You promise, ‘kay?”
After watching Haruna dash out of the room, I turned to Sera. I didn’t even have to say anything. She already knew, so she just gave a firm nod.
1. The Hammer and Helmet game, known as Tataite Kabutte Jankenpon in Japan, is a fast-paced, two-player reaction game combining Rock, Paper, Scissors with speed. Winners attack with a plastic hammer, while losers defend with a helmet (or bowl) to score points.

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