Cop Craft Volume 2: First Night Part 3

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Translator: Le Umbono

Editor: Weasalopes


「A Semanian woman, huh?」

The medical examiner from the coroner’s office, Cecil Epps, said as she took a look at the body.

Taking out the mummy from the body bag on the stretcher, she set the corpse on the examination table. The rags she had for clothes had turned red-brown, far removed from their original state. And yet, one could still make out the rusted ornaments adorning her personage.

「Well, that’s just how it is. She was shoved in a Semanian coffin, wearing traditional Semanian clothing.」

Matoba grumbled. Every time he came to the morgue, it would always have this somber atmosphere around it. Despite its cleanliness, the place was dreary enough as is. The saccharine smell of disinfectant lingered around every corner. White, tiled flooring further added to the bleak nature of the coroner’s office. And the pale lights adorning the ceiling made one appear as though they were one of the corpses lying on the tables. Tilarna did not seem to like it here much either. Once in a while, she would sniff around with that little nose of hers, only to twist her face into a grimace.

To think that he was once close to the lady working here, Cecil. How strange. After all, this was the worst place he could think of to woo a woman. Ever since they first met, for whatever reason, he would always invite her out to eat right in front of men who had overdosed on narcotics. Even now, Matoba himself could not remember the exact reason he did so.

Today, Cecil was wearing black knitted garments, complete with a knee-length flared skirt. She had her usual lab coat on top. Shiny, brown hair, and intelligent, blue eyes. In the past, she had been a cheerful and openhearted young girl, yet she was slowly losing that spirit day by day.

「I’ve accepted the job for the time being.」

Writing down the necessary details in the document attached to her clipboard, she handed it over to Matoba.

「Over here, we’re experts on the study of fresh corpses, y’know. Wouldn’t it be better to leave this body to an archaeologist or something? It’s probably several decades old by now.」

「That’s for you to find out. Time of death, age, cause of death.」

「It’s impossible to know the exact time of death if this is all I have.」

「Make do with it. Don’t you have things like radiometric dating and stuff?」

As he said that, Cecil put on that face. The face of a scientist that pitied the stupidity of an amateur that claims to know what they are saying.

「We don’t do that here. In the first place, we can only reference their age based on the things we have here on Earth.」

「What’s that mean?」

「Uhm…… The method you’re referring to is probably the one that uses the half-life of carbon-14 atoms, right? On Earth, the number of radioactive isotopes present had been calculated to be pretty much the same before the 1950s. In the Semani world, we barely have any data on the current number of radioactive isotopes present, not to mention their values in the past. That being the case, the method we take for granted here on Earth cannot be applied to people or objects of Semanian origin. Her hair follicles won’t be of much use either; the genetic makeup of recent Semanian immigrants is just too different from hers.」

He got the gist of what Cecil was saying. Come to think of it, he remembered something similar from one of the lectures he took back when he was still a uniformed officer.

「That about does it. Understand?」

「Yep. One thing though. Why the 1950s?」

「Due to the frequency of nuclear tests being performed at the time, there was a sudden change in the number of radioactive isotopes present in the atmosphere.」

「Got it. I learned something new today. Thanks.」

「You’re welcome.」

「……So, how about the time of death?」

Without the slightest hint of repentance, Matoba repeated the same question once more. Cecil could only sigh in exasperation.

「Didn’t I just say I didn’t know?」

Shrugging her shoulders, she turned away from Matoba, producing a magnifying glass from the pocket of her lab coat. She then began examining the body, going through every nook and cranny in great detail.

「By the way, did you sense any of that rahtena1 coming from this corpse?」

「I did not. There does not seem to be any influence of mildi2 here……」

Even as she said that, it felt as though Tilarna was doubting herself somehow.

Rahtena was a unique concept present in the Semani world ⸺ it referred to the naturally-occurring energies that gave rise to magical phenomena. There was no way to measure such a metric under the scientific methods known to Earth, which led many to question its existence outright. Well-versed in the arts of mildi, Tilarna was the sole individual in the entire San Teresa Police Department capable of detecting its presence.

Meticulously analyzing the limbs of her ‘patient’, Cecil muttered.

「Nevertheless, these are fine accessories. Perhaps she was once the daughter of nobility, maybe even royalty?」

Bracelets, anklets. A necklace coupled with a brooch. There was no estimating their value, yet it was clear that these ornaments had been supplied by someone with money.

「If that’s the case, worst-case scenario this’ll end up an international scandal. Gotta contact the Farbanian consulate before tomorrow morning, then it’s a waiting game for us. For now, find out all you can about our mystery mummy.」

Asking her to take overtime in a roundabout way, Cecil finally took her eyes off her magnifying glass to look at him.

「Kei. I’ll be swamped with work tomorrow morning, y’know?」

「What a coincidence. Me too.」

As he flashed a smirk at her, Cecil’s eyes burned with quiet anger.

「Asshole.」

「Good grief. I think so as well.」

Tilarna agreed with her wholeheartedly. Cecil happily responded.

「Right? You’ve got some guts staying back to team up with him.」

「I made a momentary lapse in judgment. I still regret it to this day.」

「I get that. He acts so overbearingly cold at times, and he’s a sarcastic jerk to boot. But sometimes he’d show off his kind side when you least expect it. Don’t fall for his tricks, you hear?」

「I do not understand much of this, but I shall it take it to heart.」

「Oi……」

Matoba had intended to keep his mouth shut and ignore their conversation, but the two of them just kept on talking.

「The first time I met him was the worst. He pushed the gangster he killed onto me and said, “Don’t you take his money, ya hear?”」

「Such a depraved man…… The first time I crossed over to this world, he told me, ”I don’t have time to be playing partners with you,” before ridiculing my presence.」

「Is that right? I bet you hated him after that.」

「The instant he discovered my predisposition against vehicles, he would pester me incessantly on it by accelerating his car. Furthermore, this harassment would often be accompanied by discriminatory language towards my race. Just this morning, I had saved his life, and yet he replied, “I don’t remember asking you for help,” without even giving me a word of thanks. In short, he is underestimating our abilities as women. I intend on abandoning him the next time he does so.」

「That is probably for the best, Exedilika-san. If he ever dies, won’t you do his autopsy with me? I’ve got some special paint stored up. Maybe we can scribble on his organs and then take a picture together? That’s bound to make us feel better.」

「A brilliant idea. To ensure his suffering in the world beyond, perhaps we should carve the runes of Bael to unleash a curse on his body? Possibly on his face, his posterior, and his intestines.」

「Oi……!」

Matoba paled at their grisly conversation, cold sweat dripping down his forehead as he protested their suggestions.

「We are not serious. Do not tremble so.」

「That’s right. It’s just a joke, a joke.」

「For a joke, it’s pretty brutal in its details……」

At that moment, the medical assistant, Chapman, popped his head in the doorway, calling for Cecil.

「Doctor Epps?」

「What is it?」

「Remember that body we found in the Blue River? The results of the water quality test have just come in. I know you like talking to Mr. Tough Guy over there, but we really need your help over here.」

「……I understand. I’m going now.」

Hiding her irritation at Chapman’s snappy words, Cecil calmly replied. The assistant glanced at Matoba suspiciously, before quietly shutting the door behind him.

Witnessing that exchange, Tilarna commented unpleasantly.

「That man does not have any manners, it seems. Is he your disciple, mildite3 Ebbs4?」

「My, you flatter me. Cecil is fine.」

「Understood. Then, you can call me Tilarna as well.」

She let Cecil call her just like that? Didn’t she say that calling her by name requires special permission? That’s how it was for me, at least. Although Matoba wanted to point this out, he purposely kept quiet.

Tilarna and Cecil had not had a proper conversation up to this point. Perhaps the saying ‘the enemy of your enemy is your friend’ truly did hold water. It would be rather boorish of him to tell them that though.

「…..Well, Chapman’s probably just tired from having to stay up all night. He’s older, not to mention he’s been working here longer as well, so he likely has several bones to pick with me. It’s not worth kicking up a fuss over.」

「I see. I guess that is fine.」

Beside Tilarna, Matoba gave a small sigh.

「But y’know, Cecil. Better to nip him in the bud. He’s had it out for me since the start. I sense a hint of jealousy coming from him. That guy probably has the hots for you.」

「Oh, are you worried about me?」

Hearing his response, Cecil’s voice livened up.

She was expecting something from him. As her crystal-blue eyes peered into his face, he felt his chest come astir. Nope, can’t do this now. Setting aside professional ethics, he had already decided to stop doing things like this. More importantly, Tilarna was watching.

「That’s not it. Well, I’m counting on you…… Let’s go, Tilarna. Gotta go interrogate those Semanians.」

Casually waving his hand in the air, Matoba left the morgue behind him.

The Special Vice Squad Offices where Matoba worked was just across the street from the morgue. It took less than thirty seconds for them to get there.

However, since members of the Vice Squad often acted as decoys in police operations, it was normal for them to not enter through the front. Instead, they took the long way around, entering the building through an inconspicuous side entrance.

Though the day was pretty much over, there were still many working overtime in HQ. As always, the San Teresa Police Department was severely understaffed.

「I am unable to wrap my head around this ‘science’ of yours.」

Inside the elevator headed to the offices, Tilarna muttered aloud.

「You mean the autopsy?」

「Correct. In the first place, touching the remains of the dead like that should not be permitted.」

「You worried about hygiene?」

「No. ‘Tis a moral issue. The body holds the gateway between the deceased and the realm of the dead. Thus, there remains a risk of evil spirits possessing the body. It would be best to leave these corpses alone.」

「That’s not possible. Interrogations alone don’t solve a case. The more we find out, the faster we can lock up those Semanian bastards. We’d be able to get a lead on their smuggling route with this case.」

Regardless of what value that mummy held, it was not important to the Special Vice Squad. What was necessary, however, was uncovering the true scale of the operation between the Russian and Semanian smugglers. Depending on the circumstances, they would be able to extract vital information from these criminals, and perhaps get a chance at nailing their smuggling ring.

「Incidentally⸺」

Tilarna suddenly said.

「⸺are you close to Cecil?」

「What’s this now?」

「Do not think much of it. That is simply the feeling that I get from the two of you.」

Come to think of it, he had not told Tilarna of their past relationship. Be that as it may, their relationship had already ended, so he had no obligation to inform his freeloader-cum-partner.

「We’re friends. You can trust her.」

Matoba answered, feigning ignorance.

「Is that so?」

「That’s so.」

An awkward moment later, the elevator had reached the tenth floor. Tilarna did not appear to pry any further, immediately making her way towards the office.

Today marked the start of the clean-up operation. As such, several detectives were devoting themselves to finishing up paperwork here in the office. Tony had left several of his raisin cookies on Matoba’s desk. Holding one between his fingers, Matoba popped it into his mouth.

Delicious. He had struck the perfect balance between crispy and fluffy; the sweetness was just right. Matoba often thought that leaving Tony McBee to work here as a detective had been quite a waste of talent for the department. He sought to express his gratitude, but it seemed as though Tony was still out patrolling with his partner Godunov.

Since Tilarna had joined up with the Special Vice Squad, she had been given a personal desk of her own. It had been the desk of the late Detective Rick Fury, who had been killed in the line of duty. Although she would spend most of her free time with a manual in one hand and tampering her PC with the other, she had not made much progress on her skills. After all, Tilarna still lacked the ability to properly make a selection when given the choices ‘Yes/No/Cancel’. Matoba thought back to his childhood days when he would attempt to teach his grandfather in the countryside to use a cellphone, but to no avail. In this way, the Semanians were similar to the Earthlings of the past in that they were unable to grasp the concept of digital technology.

The guardsman to the interrogation room had just informed them that the room was open for their use.

Matoba stopped writing his report midway, called Tilarna, and headed for the interrogation room. One of his colleagues had told him 「Chief Zimmer was looking for you earlier」, but he ignored him. He did not want the trouble. If it were really serious, he would have gotten a phone call anyway.

Now then, it was time for the interrogation.

The man’s name was Lejico. His last name was too long and hard to pronounce; Matoba had given up half-way through reading it. Usually, he would go at his own pace, relentlessly cross-examining the suspect. Unfortunately, he let Tilarna handle the interrogation this time around. He had drilled the principles into her before the questioning, yet all she did was tilt her head in puzzlement.

「I shall do what you ask of me. But I must ask, why?」

「Rookie training. If you plan on staying here, you gotta remember the rules properly.」

「Very well.」

Tilarna squared her shoulders, heaving a hefty breath as she stepped foot into the interrogation room.
Translator’s Notes:
TL Note: A form of magical energy that can be sensed by the Semani.
TL Note: The Farbanian word for ‘magic.’
TL Note: The Farbanian word for ‘magician/practitioner.’
TL Note: Tilarna is incapable of pronouncing the letter ‘p’ in certain words. So she pronounces ‘Epps’ as ‘Ebbs’. Also ‘police’ as ‘bolice’.


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