Volume 2 Extra 3.4
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Translator: Adam Seacord
Editor: Weasalopes
The first thing Artiem wanted to know must have been whether she was in his range. Hiroshi’s hobbies, food or other preferences would have been something she couldn’t really make anything with. Especially since he was the one that cooked any kind of food. In fact, he had gotten to their stomachs with immeasurable strength before they could have had a chance.
However, Teres didn’t really have a good answer. Before any idea of preference in women, Hiroshi’s problem was whether or not he could interact with any of them. The silver-lining was that he was definitely sexually attracted to women. Despite his phobia, he wasn’t turning to homosexuality anytime soon.
“Well, not that I know too much more than you, but what do you want to know about him?”
“The number-one things is, um…”
“Breats,” she mumbled, sending Teres in a disarray. Naturally, she had no idea. Who could habe blamed her for letting her gaze drift around the room.
“Do you think…”
“Oh, no no.”
“Well?”
“I expect the only people to have that answer would be Tatsuya-san, Merizza-san, or Elle-sama’s brother.”
In translation, the only men close enough to Hiroshi for anything like that to come up in discussion. They doubted Douga would discuss such things with anyone.
“Okay…”
“To be honest, he’s on guard with anyone other than Lime, so there’s no info like that going around.”
“Do you mean…?”
“Oh, I don’t think he’s into… no. I think he considers her on the same level as Octogal. Or just too young to even see as a girl.”
“Oh…”
With a reasonable explanation, she was a little relieved. If Hiroshi had devolved his femalephobia into pedophilia, he would have too hopeless.
“He’s not into guys, though, right?”
“No. Someone would have noticed that by now.”
Teres made sure to categorically deny any homosexuality on Hiroshi’s party. He wasn’t the kind to be able to mask such a thing, especially when met with the observant and intuitive women around them.
“So, you think I might have at least a chance?”
“Through harsh terrain.”
A chance, at least, was given to anyone equally. While Lady Luck was famous for only having bangs, in this case, she may only have a single strand of hair on her head.
“In any case, why don’t you not worry about Boss Man’s preferences when they’re so hard to figure them out, Artiem, and think about what makes you special.”
“You think so?”
“I’ve never had a boyfriend, so I can’t really talk, but I don’t think there’d be a single marriage out of love in this world if romance can’t happen without a perfect match of preferences.”
“Is that how that works?”
“I think so.”
Teres was rather precise with her advice, despite lacking any romantic experience. In fact, in a research performed that asked couples if their significant other was their type, an overwhelming majority answered ‘no.’ What was the game of love without a chance of being attracted ot someone unexpected?
“So, let’s think about what you makes you special as a woman, Artiem.”
“Please do.”
“With any normal man, at least, a young, attractive elf with big breasts is marketable. Oh, and that you can cook, unlike me.”
“…I don’t think it’s much use for Hiroshi-san other than the elf thing…”
“That’s a dead-end, sister.”
Teres had to brush off what she was thinking, too. Furthermore, it was doubtful that being an elf was even a plus in the end. Their life expectancy was nearly ten times that of humans. If he were to establish a sexual relationship with Artiem now, having access to her young body until the day he dies would certainly be a positive, especially when Artiem was, uncharacteristically for an elf, plump, or a body that men usually prefered.
For a married in couple in love, however, such a difference in life expectancy could not be ignored. He would wither away, while his wife remained young, and she would watch her beloved husband age without her. This was a major factor in most fictionally depicted human-elf relationships ending in tragedy.
“Other than the elf thing, Haruna-san’s got me beat on everything buy my breasts…”
“I don’t think anything’s a game changer except for cooking.”
Teres could only try to blunt-force some optimism to Artiem who kept listing one negative prospect after another. The two elves who had never had a beau in their lives, kept idly discussing how to conquer the man with a female phobia.
“Speaking of, don’t you talk to anyone about love troubles, Mio-san?”
Nora, knowing that both Haruna and Artiem were consulting people around them for advice, decided to ask Mio who ended up with her after coming out of the bath.
“To whom? About what? How?”
“I can’t answer that, but I was curious why you’re not really making a move on this, Mio-san.”
“It’s not about that right now.”
“Really?”
“What am I supposed to do when I’m ineligible in so many ways and when Sensei’s not eligible in so many ways.”
Nora couldn’t help but droop her bunny eyes at Mio’s too cold of an assessment for a girl in love. She understood precisely where she stood.
“If I was as hot as Haru, maybe I should be making some moves, but me?”
“…”
“No comment? Ouch.”
“Your words, not mine.”
Nora pointed out to Mio, who had apparently expected some words of sympathy. As a result, Mio was faced with the cold hard impression of her chances from those around her.
“First of all, you’re too harsh to Boss Man, Mio-san.”
“I know.”
“You’re too desperate.”
“I know.
Even through Mio’s unwavering expression, Nora could tell that she was in ernest.
“I like Sensei, I can’t help it.”
“No one likes that kind of Tsundere.”
Utilizing a vocab word she picked up from Mio along with Compounding knowledge, Nora shut Mio down. While most moves could not be made before waiting out for Hiroshi’s symptoms to improve, there was plenty of things Mio could be doing right now.
“Playing Tsundere with Boss Man is only going to make things worse.”
“I can’t argue with that.”
Of course, Mio knew that. Playing Tsundere against anyone in real life, would usually only result in an annoyed reaction. Only in fiction could a Tsudere girl land a level-headed partner.
“So, anyone who’d fall for me now is a masochistic, pedophile pervert. No thank you.”
“Does it hurt any less when you’re the one saying it?”
“Not really.”
Mio sulked at her own words, while they were accurate. It hurt a lot that she was now painfully aware of how far off she was from the prospects of an ordinary romantic relationship. Was it too late to feel a sense of urgency about the lack of every feminine feature in her, save for cooking?
“Well, I’ll try my best to become a little less crazy person, for now.”
“You don’t want to make any moves to Boss Man.”
“Not until a few things mature.”
With that, she brushed her almost-B-cup breasts. After all the molesting Octogal had done on them, she felt like they were growing just a little bit faster.
“I mean, I think that’s the best, too.”
“If the game ends before then, that’s that.”
Mio did understand her shortcomings, and was trying to fix them the best she could. Nora resolved to help Mio as much as she could, in departments other than romance.
Now, as for the man, the centerpiece of all of this drama…
“Hey, Hiro?”
“‘Sup, brother?”
“You’re ignoring them on purpose, right?”
“…Don’t know what your talkin’ ‘bout.”
Was met with this inquisition from Tatsuya, in the midst of crafting potion bottles. Ever since the incident with Corrupted Ents, now that they had a pretty good collection of ingredience from the dungeon, he had decided to make the various class-3 potions.
“It’s really not believable that you haven’t noticed how they feel about you.”
“You think I can trust ‘em ‘bout that?”
“Thought you might say that…”
With more than a handful of experiences being the target of a ubiquitous teenage bullying tactic of asking someone out for a joke, there was no way that Hiroshi would have believed that anyone was into him. He never would have believed that anyone was, much less attractive women like Haruna. Of course, he only saw it as some misunderstanding or him being full of himself.
As for why he couldn’t just ignore any advances that he knew was fake back in schooldays, that was because he would have only worsened his situation. Likewise, he didn’t have the option to turn down any advances. The only option he had was to accept them, suffer the insults from the girl who pretended to ask him out and her friends behind them, and live with being called some pig desperate for any female attention.
He might have started skipping school, if it wasn’t for his middle school being corrupted in some ways where it would have ruined his chances of advancing to any high school. All he could was enduring being toyed with.
“You think Haruna’d take this stuff lightly?”
“Someone once said that romance is one big misunderstandin’.”
“Some romances don’t fade even after people come out of the misunderstanding.”
“With me, not a chance.”
Even though he was sure that Haruna would never ask him out of malice like his classmates had, Considering her nature, it seemed that Haruna, once in love, would keep it mature while staying royal, barring anything drastic, but it might have been too much for Hiroshi to believe in that prospect. In fact, with no good memory about building romantic relationships, it seemed impossible for Hiroshi to trust any of that without having overcome his phobia.
“Those fake asking-out stuff is bullying for both sides anyway, you think they could ban it.”
“Ban as they might, they’ll just keep doin’ it. They’re kids.”
Kids, in fact, had the tendency to do exactly what they were told not to.
(There’s a long road ahead of us…)
Knowing that this was how Hiroshi felt even after the major progress Haruna and Aearis had made towards loosening his paranoia, Tatsuya let out a silent sight for all the lovesick girls and the troubles that lied ahead of them.
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