I slowly opened my eyes. My consciousness was hazy and my memories cut off after a certain point. I remember having a great time at the party…drinking, dancing, singing, and playing music. After a while we cleaned up the venue…
Then afterwards I headed back to the workshop with the Fire Foxes…ah and we held a private little party there. We used the leftover food and alcohol since they insisted that ‘it’d be too much of a waste to let it go bad’. Plus there had been plenty of the girls who hadn’t gotten a real opportunity to enjoy the party.
I had thought to abstain since it was a gathering of Fire Foxes, but they stopped me and wouldn’t let me go.
After that it was a never ending stream of young Fire Fox women coming over to pour me alcohol, serve me food, and chat me up. I ended up getting hammered.
At first I tried to stop drinking but they all lined up and poured me drinks. If I tried to refuse the next one in line the girl would go ‘why can she pour you a drink and I can’t!? This isn’t fair!’ and so on and so forth. So I ended up inebriated.
After that….I don’t remember anything.
The ceiling I saw above my head was my old workshop. My body was currently wrapped in a warm futon.
I started to get bits and pieces of my memory back. I had given up on walking back to my house in Erucy, but I couldn’t allow myself to stay inside the new warehouse with all those young women. I had resolved myself to spend a night alone inside my old warehouse.
As Kuu supported me on her shoulder out the door, I had heard the voice of young Kemin called out…
「Kuu-anesama do your best! You don’t have to come home tonight! Decide it in one shot!」
with a thumbs up. That’s when I fell unconscious.
As I recalled what happened I suddenly heard the sounds of clothing rustling.
I glanced over and saw Kuu removing her dress and wearing only her underwear.
「It’d be bad to wrinkle it…so I should take it off. These clothes are cute but they’re high maintenance…」
She said stripping down. The underwear she wore was simple short pants and a low exposure bra, but still I could see her beautiful body line.
「Just a bit…if it’s just a bit it should be fine right?」
She whispered as she walked over slowly. I felt guilty for secretly peeping at her, so I pretended to turn over in my sleep and faced away from her.
「Cyril-kun…you’re asleep right? You didn’t even wake up when I was carrying you over here…it should be fine right?」
Kuu whispered as she approached.
Of course, I was supposed to be sleeping so I didn’t respond.
I was completely awake at this point, but thanks to the alcohol and my usual sexual frustration I was having trouble controlling myself.
At this juncture Kuu entered my futon and hugged me from behind.
Her fragrant soft body intoxicated my mind.
「I’m sorry Lucy-chan. Just for today lend me Cyril-kun…just for today.」
Kuu murmured apologetically.
I desperately held onto my reason…if not then something would truly happen.
「Let me just talk to myself for a bit…」
She leaned her forehead onto my back.
I originally had good will towards Kuu. She was never a particularly strong girl…but even so she grit her teeth and forced her way through. I thought that was beautiful.
No matter how painful it was she didn’t give up. Knowing her own weakness and inadequacies she desperately fought to grow. She was a girl who shone with the same brightness as Lucy. It made me want to extend a helping hand.
Being in such close proximity to a barely dressed Kuu was truly dangerous. I desperately erased thoughts of doing it with her and her offering to have relations with me even without getting married. I eliminated all the excuses I could from my mind.
They were all illusions brought on by the softness of her breasts and the heat of her body.
「Cryil-kun truthfully…I had thought that even if we met again we would simply be intimate friends like before. Even when our parents engaged us we didn’t have any time…and our exchange fell apart. At some point that part got lost in translation.」
It was no wonder.
The last time we had met was five years ago. Even up til then we would have met every two months or so at best.
At that time we were still young and had no concept of romantic love. Despite that, if we had such deep emotional love that we continued to think of each other….it would be scary in it’s own way.
People changed. If you still liked the same person after five years despite not having seen them at all…then you were in love with a daydream. That kind of person couldn’t be trusted.
「But…after reuniting Cyril-kun was super cool and came to save us like a Prince…my heart couldn’t help but throb.」
I’d heard this before.
「That time at the Fire Fox village…I was happy you scolded me. I was being weak and wanted someone to coddle me. But that wasn’t truly it. I hated my weakness and wanted someone to scold me properly…to lead me onto the correct path.
I wanted someone to treat me strictly yet kindly just like my father would have. I truly didn’t think there would be someone who could do that…but Cyril-kun did. It made me fall more in love.」
Kuu hugged me more tightly.
「Cryil-kun you’re always trying so hard….not only that you’re valuing me and teaching me important things…that makes me so happy. It lets me know that someday I can become someone trusted and loved like Cyril-kun…someone you can trust too.」
Certainly I had expectations of Kuu.
I truly believed that one day she could be my right hand man.
Of course I knew that right now that was impossible. It wasn’t that her effort wasn’t enough, it was that at this point appointing a non-elf to a position of power would cause great dissatisfaction amongst the elves.
Even so, I wanted her efforts to be recognized and accepted by everyone.
Kuu had one of the most important features of a leader…charisma. Just by looking at how the Fire Foxes treated her you could tell. Charisma could be acquired through hard work and effort…but most of it was inborn.
「But even so the reason I want to embrace Cyril-kun is probably different from Lucy…I was sure it was probably more like yearning than love. It’s probably a rash emotion…a love at first sight that will cool and disappear….so in a sense it’s relieving if you just properly love Lucy and I won’t feel too sad….」
I could feel a cold wet spot on my back where her face was.
「But that feeling didn’t disappear…when I’m with you Cyril-kun even these kinds of situations are so fun…I even look forward to the next day…I hope and I dream. I see a bright day. I started to never want to be apart…these feelings just got stronger and stronger…despite my lack of confidence….I think this really is love.」
How….should I respond.
「I’m so jealous of Lucy-chan. Those five years I couldn’t see you, the feelings that piled up, and along the way she got your love. I keep thinking about…what would have happened if the Elf village never got taken over…if we remained engaged, if we saw each other often…if you would’ve fallen in love with me….those silly thoughts just won’t leave. Even though I hate myself for it…I’m afraid that I want to push these feelings onto you.」
That’s why she was taking advantage of my ‘sleeping’ to pour out all her emotions.
This was Kuu’s confession.
「I know I have to give up on this. Cyril-kun has so much more important and dangerous things to worry about…I can’t add anymore worries. Plus I’m a coward. I’m afraid of being turned down if I confess seriously. That’s why I’ll spit out all of these feelings, cry for tonight, and end it all today. Even if it can’t be ended I’ll make it end.」
Kuu’s arms loosened. I was sure from this point no matter how she felt she wouldn’t release these feelings. No matter how her heart tore she wouldn’t reveal these through her words or actions.
In truth this would be the most convenient conclusion….however….
The tearing regret I felt at the thought and feeling of Kuu pulling away….
「I’m glad I got the chance while you were asleep. If Cyril-kun was a wake then I’d never be able to say it. It’d be hard to find a way to forget these feelings…preferably…….un, this might be best. Falling in love with a person I can’t fall in love with might be suitable for me…」
Kuu was giving up on everything with a sorrowful smile on her face. I could feel her try to get up and leave. It’s just that…
I couldn’t let her do that.
I grabbed her hand firmly and dragged her into my arms.