The Beast and the Witch’s Mock Wedding – Part 05
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Translator: Kell
Zero pulled out two small ceramic cups from her bag. She handed me one, which I accepted, and she poured water into it.
“It is said that at weddings in this region, as soon as a couple is wed, all the attendees break their cup at once. Doing so would imprint the memory in their mind that they had been married on that day. I thought the Church had come to manage all wedding ceremonies, but I suppose native customs do not go obsolete that easily.”
Wedding customs varied between countries and regions, and even between neighboring villages, the procedure can be slightly different. The only thing they had in common was the part where they swore their love before God, which was probably the result of the Church forcibly intervening in established wedding ceremonies.
Marriage required a trustworthy witness or notary, and a priest from the Church was a perfect fit. That’s why customs around the world accepted the Church’s intervention.
“But alas, we have no priest and no attendees,” Zero said. “So let us have this game where we play both the role of priest and attendees. I would like to know how great weddings are.”
“You don’t have to do it with me! Beastfallen are taboo to brides.”
“When you put it that way, a witch is a taboo to society. You say the strangest things. Are you going to whine again? Since you did not come to watch the festival, it is only right that you go along with this farce.”
“But this isn’t something you just pretend to do.”
“Then will you marry me for real? Me, an extraordinary witch.” A provocative smile tugged at her lips. Behind the gentle, inviting tone of her voice, she exuded a spine-chilling aura that said my soul would be taken if I nodded.
I shook my head wildly. “Please no,” I said.
“See? If it is only a pretend wedding, it is no big deal. Stand before me, Mercenary. A crumbling church, a smashed statue of a goddess, a witch and a Beastfallen, the light from the setting sun as red as blood. Very unholy, wouldn’t you say? The perfect setting for us.”
True. If the average priest saw us, he might just shout the name of God and faint.
Reluctantly, I stood in front of Zero and restlessly looked back and forth between the cup in my hand and her.
“Mercenary,” Zero said. “Do you swear with your name, your body, and your soul, given to you by God, that you will take Zero, the woman who stands before you, as your eternal companion?”
When I didn’t answer, Zero grabbed me by the collar and pulled me closer. As I bent down, she put her lips to my ear and whispered softly, “Say I do.”
I mustered up every ounce of courage I had. “I do.”
I never thought that I would swear a false love to a witch in front of God. I might not be a devout follower of God, but I felt like I was going straight to hell.
Zero asked the same question to herself, and without hesitation, answered, “I do.”
That’s a witch for you, all right. No hesitation in committing blasphemy.
“In the name of the Most Gracious Goddess, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss.” Zero closed her eyes.
I stared at Zero for a while, befuddled, and when I finally understood the meaning of her words, I pulled myself back.
“K-Kiss?! We have to do that too?!”
“Of course. Come on, groom. You do not want to keep your bride waiting.”
“B-But… I, uhh…”
Me? Kiss those lips? I know we’re just pretending, but that’s going too far.
“No way in hell I can do that!” I roared, pushing Zero away and slamming the cup in my hand on the floor.
“You got the order mixed up, Mercenary. You are supposed to break the glass after the kiss.”
“Shut up! I’m done with this bullshit. That should be enough!” I turned to run away.
“No, it is not.” Zero clung to my waist. “We must finish it. We made an agreement. We must see it until the end. The kiss is the most important thing!”
Dragging Zero along with me, I gathered my things and shouldered them. “Let’s go.”
Zero, still clinging to my waist and not letting go, gave me a puzzled look. “Go where?”
“See the festival. The sun will set soon, and it will be nighttime. No bride would catch a glimpse of me from afar. Besides, the last night of the festival is the best. If we miss it, it will be your loss.”
Still not letting go, Zero frowned and pondered over the matter.
“There are some stalls that are only open at night,” I added. “We can always do this farce, but this is the only time we get to see the festival. What do you say, witch? Wanna go?”
Her grip around my waist tightened and she let out short groans. In the end, she gave in to the temptation of the festival.
“I am going,” she said bitterly.
I win.
Freed from the shackles of a horrible pretend wedding, I felt a little better. I carried Zero along with my stuff and left the church.
“Wait, Mercenary.”
As we walked toward the new district, Zero suddenly pulled me aside. I found myself right in front of the inn I’d run away from.
“Oh, right. I was thinking of strangling that guy.” My voice sounded strangely cheerful.
Now what do I serve him? I cracked my knuckles.
“Hold on,” Zero said. “Let me take care of this. I need to teach the man a lesson about what happens if you breach an agreement with a witch.” She jumped off my shoulder and looked around.
The residents of the old district were probably all in the new district for the festival. There were no humans, cats, or even rats to be seen around.
Seeing the perfect opportunity, Zero suddenly opened her arms gracefully toward the sky.
“Bag do gu Racht!” she began chanting. “O’ Flame of the end, come forth and incinerate!”
I shuddered. “Are you stupid?! You can’t use Magic out in the open!”
“But I can.” The corner of her mouth lifted. She gave off a wicked vibe, like a real witch.
Flaming snakes crawled up her body, coiling around, before finally gathering in her outstretched hands, combining into one.
“Chapter of Hunting, Page Six: Flagis! Grant me power, for I am Zero!”
A flaming snake lunged at the inn and burst into flames. There were no signs of anyone being burned alive inside, so I guessed the guests and even the innkeeper were out for the festival.
Zero mentioned a while back that Flagis was a Magic spell that burned only the caster’s target. In that case, the flames would not spread despite the large fire.
I thought maybe she was going too far, but it was the innkeeper’s fault for breaching a contract with a witch.
As I stared at the rundown inn burning red in the dark old district, I promised myself that I would never trick or betray the witch. I’m glad I didn’t pledge my eternal love to her, lie or not. Witches were terrifying beings. If I cheated on one, I would receive a punishment far more dreadful than the Church’s.
Suddenly a figure caught my eyes, and I quickly pulled Zero behind a building to hide. I poked my head out to see what was going on and saw a woman illuminated by the flames of the burning inn.
She was dressed modestly, but she was definitely the bride who was thrown into the stables with me. She was looking up at the burning inn, her mouth hanging open.
And there was a man holding her by the shoulders. He looked to be about the same age as the woman. They were preparing for a trip.
“Are they eloping?!” I gasped.
Zero blinked, her eyes curious. “You said she was a servant who fell in love with her employer’s son. So is that man willing to abandon his family and home to live with his bride?”
“Looks like it. You could say they’re bold, or just young.”
We watched the couple as they left under the cover of darkness. I sighed, feeling somewhat relieved. The woman never saw me, so she never lost hope, and had the courage to run away with the man she loved.
“I see,” Zero muttered. “Eternal, true love. Sounds pleasant.” Her voice sounded endearing. “Now, then.” She turned to me. “Let us go, Mercenary. Or do you want to watch that inn burn to the ground?”
“Uh, no… I’m not that crazy.”
“Then let us go see the festival. Casting Magic made me tired. Carry me.” She thrust her arms out toward me.
I couldn’t muster up the courage to ignore her innocent smile.
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