I try to think a little deeper about what is happening in Christina’s heart. I begin to analyze myself with objectivity. This was something that I had decided was necessary for the present and for the future.
Why was I so annoyed just because Mishuli and Leon were talking?
It was something similar to the complex emotion a father might feel when his daughter leaves to be married. It was an emotion of a desire to possess that came from jealousy. My conviction that I was the closest to Mishuli, that I was family and had seen her grow. The desire to possess had poured out from this pride I felt.
But, if that were true, then it was wrong for me to feel this way.
I should have been happy when I witnessed that scene. Mishuli’s world had been broadened. I needed to be happy that she was being prepared to one day leave me. The reason that I could not do this was a selfishness not becoming of a genius and also immaturity.
And so I decided on one thing.
“I think that I too, will distance myself a little.”
I was in the third Calibrachoa daughter’s room. There, I and Surfania faced each other with a board game set up between us.
On the other side, Surfania was narrowing her eyebrows after seeing my last move. The tide of the battle was currently even. But my last move had ever so slightly tipped the balance into her favor. Surfania caught this and her eyes gleamed brightly.
“…You being so fond of your sister is nothing new. But you really think you will succeed in separating from her?”
“I will. Indeed, I am very fond of Mishuli, but it is not as if I want to keep her to myself either.”
She made her move carefully after a moment of consideration. I pretended to take my time and slowly made my own move. With that I was at an even further disadvantage; Surfania’s expression brightened.
“Oh, is that really so? I had assumed that you two were locked up in your own little world, trying to be happy.”
“My only wish is to make Mishuli happy. I want her to be smiling, always. I want her life to be full of only happiness. Until now, I hadn’t been ready to act as a foundation to make that happen.”
Surfania’s voice bounced with delight as the board showed her clear advantage. I pretended to be annoyed by this as I slammed a piece on to the board with more force than was necessary. Surfania smirked at this obviously poor move.
“Part of me had put my own happiness as equal with hers. Maybe I had become dependant on her without noticing it. I had poured so much love into her, and it drew out a shameful desire to have her look only at me. And so this jealousy is born from the need to possess.”
“Fu fufufu. Is that so. Well, you’ve always been rather pathetic. I wouldn’t worry about it.”
“…I can’t refute you today.”
Surfania sounded very pleased, this was the first time she was in a superior position to me in the game.
I ignore this attitude from my friend. If things continued on like this, I would become a horrible sister who would only be satisfied when I had Mishuli completely walled up. That would only be unhappiness masquerading as happiness. The world was vast. It was nothing like this small board that could be manipulated in the way you wanted. This world went on and on.
It was my responsibility as her older sister, to show her this world. First, I would guide her by the hand, then I would walk beside her, finally, she must be made ready to walk her separate path alone.
“And so, I think I will try to expand the world that we know from now on. So we can look not just at each other, but see more of the outside world too. And so there is one thing that I want to do at the next Foundation Festival… Will you help me with it, Surfania?”
Four years had passed since I was put into the position of a sister. It was the sorriest thing that it took me this much time to come to a realization. I cursed myself as I moved one piece forward on the board.
The usual Surfania would not have agreed to any of my ideas. But she was completely different now. Surfania gladly jumped on my offered sacrifice.
“Fufufu. Regardless if it works or not, I think that it is a great idea. Foundation Festival? Indeed. I don’t know what you intend to do, but I will agree to help you within my abilities, if you beat me at this game today.”
The game had proceeded according to her own ideal and so Surfania was in a much better mood than usual.
She could see the road to her first victory, and she was clearly elated. Yes. Usually, she would have rejected me with a ‘it’s too much trouble.’ But now she had promised to do it on one condition.
I hear her answer and I smile with satisfaction.
“That’s my friend. I knew you would agree to help!”
“…Did I not say that it depended on you winning?”
Surfania shot me a suspicious look when it seemed that my spirits had risen. She was wondering if I could not see how bad the situation on the board was for me.
Well, clearly Surfania still had a long way to go. She should know that things rarely go the way you want to in life. Even a genius like me is sometimes misled by uncertain elements.
It would be rude to answer here, so I keep my mouth shut and smirk as I make the next move.
It seemed that Surfania realized that she had misspoken as she saw this single move. Her eyes widened in shock at realizing that she had been stabbed in an area that she had not been paying enough attention to.
My smile widened as I saw the expression on my friends face. I added maliciously:
“Surfania. It is your turn, is it not? Think hard. After all, you did make a promise over this.”
By the way, no matter how much Surfania squirmed, she would lose today’s game in exactly sixteen moves.