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Beast Tamer Who Got Kicked Out From the Hero’s Party Chapter 102

CHAPTER 102: TINA’S THOUGHTS

Rain walked out of my room and I was then all alone.

And since there was nothing all that special for me to do right now, the only thing I could do now was to just float in the air fluffily.

Since I’m a ghost, I don’t really have to sleep.

I don’t even need to eat.

Or rather, I can’t eat anything, even if I wanted to.

I have been a ghost for more than thirty years now.

I don’t feel sorry for not being able to sleep and eat now, but……

「At times like this, I guess this is really troublesome……」

There’s Kanade here now, and there’s Tanya, and there’s Sora, and there’s Luna, and there’s Nina.

And of course, there’s also Rein.

When everyone is here, and they are all asleep, I feel a weird kind of loneliness because I’m the only one awake.

It’s a difficult thing to do, really.

I cannot believe that it is right now of all times that I’m remembering the loneliness of being all alone.

But……. Like this, in this way, I felt like it wasn’t actually so bad.

Sure, it’s lonely to be all alone.

By nature, it’s a completely normal thing.

And yet, until now, I thought it was nothing special, nothing to worry about……

But right now the feeling of loneliness was simply numbing, almost paralyzing.

But now that I had everyone else by my side, I guess it was not actually all that bad of a feeling. Maybe I have grown resistant to it to some extent.

Well, honestly, it’s a really complicated feeling.

「No, no, no! Stop it, just stop! Don’t think about such dark and gloomy things! Try to think about something more positive! Happy thoughts, only happy thoughts!」

I shake my head in an attempt at brightening my thoughts.

Something brighter, something happier……

In the end, I guess it would be the fact that we were all able to meet each other, huh?

Instead of downright rejecting me, they came to accept me the way I was.

Even though I was not one of their own, they have accepted me as their precious comrade and friend.

Well, Kanade seemed to not be all too happy with me in the beginning, but……

Well, I know that she’s afraid of ghosts, so I can’t really blame her for feeling that way.

But still, even though she might be afraid of me, she is still trying to do her best at being friendly towards me, and knowing that makes me feel really glad.

「…… Rein……」

I said his name out loud with a longing voice.

My new Master.

My very own Master.

The one who went to the trouble of searching for me in the dark and bringing me back into the warmth of the light.

And not only that, but also……

He was also the one who helped me to settle the nasty score with my past.

I can’t thank him enough for that. I don’t think that I will ever be able to pay that debt of gratitude off.

Of course, I would like to return the favor to him.

I don’t like the idea of being stuck in a constant state of being given things without being able to pay someone back for their kindness.

I want a win-win relationship, if possible.

But what can I possibly do?

Doing some housework and cooking?

I can use my magic to move things around, so it’s that simple for me.

Since I used to be a maid when I was alive, those kinds of things were hammered into me pretty much perfectly.

However, is that really going to be enough?

Rein is an Adventurer.

So he is going to be going on a whole lot of quests, getting in a whole lot of different fights.

And if that was to happen, it would be nice if I could fight alongside him, too…….

「But that being said, fighting was never one of my strongest suits……」

Unlike everyone else, I am merely a human.

Or, to be precise, I’m a ghost of a human.

I don’t have much combat power myself, and I don’t have any special abilities.

So I would never be all that useful in a fight.

That’s what’s so frustrating about it.

「I wish I could do something, but…… I-I mean, can ghosts even grow in power? Can ghosts learn new skills and abilities?」

If I had known any other ghosts who had been dead longer than me, I might be able to ask them about that stuff, however……

Unfortunately, I don’t know anyone else like that.

I have been on my own for so long……..

「Well, since it is Rein that we are talking about, I don’t really think that he would mind it all that much……」

And even if I said that I wanted to help them out in battle, I was sure that he would just smile at me and say that I shouldn’t push myself too hard.

That’s just who Rein was, and I’m sure he’d never think of me as a useless person.

But I can’t just sit on our laurels.

I want to be useful to him in some way, too.

I want to be of help to Rein, no matter what.

「…… Isn’t it normal for someone to want to be useful to the man you are interested in?」

Yeah. that’s right.

I’m interested in Rein.

I don’t exactly know what kind of “interested” or “like” my feelings are, but still……

The fact that I am interested in him is the undeniable truth.

I know that we have only met just recently……

But I guess it’s something that just cannot be helped?

He helped me when I was all alone……

He called me his friend and family member……

On top of that, he let me settle the score from my painful past.

It would be strange if I was not even a little bit interested in him after all that.

Although, there are many rivals that are way closer to Rein than I am.

Kanade and Tanya.

Sora and Luna.

I wonder…… Is it okay to include Nina into this competition as well?

But anyways.

「There are a lot of girls who could be my rivals, so it’s essential for me to brace myself for one hell of a tough fight.

I’m not really sure if this is the way to go about this.

「…… Oh my, it seems that my thoughts have gone astray in a strange direction.」

Because I have been thinking about this and that, my train of thoughts seemed to be about ready to kick into overload.

I’m a ghost, but I think I was this close from getting a fever from having thought too much.

This won’t do. This won’t do at all.

Let’s try to calm down here.

「Phew……」

I tried to relax my shoulders and let my thoughts just wander around.

I would then just gently float through the air.

…… I feel that this allowed me to gradually calm down, even if only a little bit.

My head also became much clearer.

「…… I want to help you out. Or rather, I want to pay the debt of gratitude that I have with you.」

Rein would surely say that he doesn’t care about that at all, but……

As expected, I can’t accept that.

I want to help him in some way.

But how am I even supposed to do that?

I thought about my future while floating in the air like that.