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Beast Tamer Who Got Kicked Out From the Hero’s Party Chapter 85

CHAPTER 85: NINA’S THOUGHTS

「……………」

Staying in my own room with the lights turned off, I stared up at the ceiling in a daze.

The bed I was resting on was soft and fluffy.

The pillows were fluffy as well, and smelled like sunshine.

「…… It feels really good, doesn’t it?」

The fact that I could get my own room was an incredible luxury.

Is it really okay for me to have a room on my own, though……?

That question was constantly nagging at me.

「…… Fuh……」

I’m getting sleepy all of a sudden.

A strong feeling of drowsiness overcomes me.

So I close my eyes softly.

「……………」

I’m sleepy, but I can’t seem to fall asleep for some reason.

I wonder why……?

I try to think about it, hoping that I will be able to understand.

「Is it because…… I’m all alone now……?」

Lately, I’ve been staying at an inn with everyone at all times.

We all slept in the same room together.

It was crowded, for sure, but……

But it was also pretty lively and fun.

So maybe that’s why I’m feeling so lonely now.

Maybe the fact that I am all alone all of a sudden is making me feel restless.

「…… But…… why?」

I have always been alone up until now.

Even when I was enshrined at that village in the mountains.

And I have been all alone ever since those bad people came and took me away from there.

I have been alone for a long, long time.

So why do I hate being alone now……?

「I don’t know…… I don’t know……」

I curl up into a ball inside of my bed.

As if I was trying to hug myself.

When I was still all alone, I always slept like this to comfort myself.

Maybe I was just soaking in my own warmth and masking my loneliness that way?

「Was I…… just lonely…… I wonder……?」

I’m not even sure myself.

A lot of things have happened, that kind of…… I feel like I’ve become emotionally numb to the surrounding world because of that.

…… Or not.

I get a feeling that this is not the case here.

Rather than being numb, I guess I was…….. enduring, I guess. Or at least I was trying to.

Because reality was hard for me……..

I have retreated into my shell to escape from it all.

I have closed my mind to it all.

I have tried not to look at the scene in front of me.

By doing so, I was protecting myself.

「…… But……」

Now I no longer have to do that……

「…… Rein……」

Rein saved me.

He brought me out of the darkness into a world full of light.

I’m so happy.

I’m so happy.

I’m so happy.

I’m not really the smartest, but……

I can’t really explain it all that well, but I’m feeling happy, still.

Rein saved me and……

I was able to meet everyone because of him.

I felt as if I had finally regained my true form thanks to that.

「It’s because of you, Rein…… Thank you so much, Rein……」

It’s really a strange kind of feeling.

When I say Rein’s name, my chest feels all fluffy and warm.

What is this, I wonder……?

I don’t know, but it’s not a bad feeling.

It’s more of a…… happy feeling, I guess?

It feels like my body is floating in the air for some reason…….

My heart is all fuzzy.

My heart feels all fluffy.

This feeling … it feels really good.

「I think I…… I want to learn…… how to cook and……」

This evening.

Luna and Tina cooked their meal and……..

I started to think about that when I saw Rein eating it like it was the most delicious thing in the entire world.

…… No.

It doesn’t have to be cooking specifically.

It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it makes Rein happy.

I want to do something for Rein.

I want to return the favor to him.

Because Rein……

「…… Fueh?」

For a moment out there I stopped thinking so hard and just came to a stop.

Because Rein is…… what is he?

Rein is really important to me.

He helped me when I was in a really dark place.

I’m really, really grateful to him for doing that.

But…… I wonder why?

It’s not just that he is important to me, but it seems that there is something more to it than just that……?

「…… Hmmmngh……」

I try to think hard about it, but I’m not really sure.

It’s just that……

Thinking about Rein, I realized that not only did my heart felt all warm, but I also felt a bit sad for some reason.

Why is that……?

I don’t really know how I should feel about this……?

「Is it only…… my imagination……?」

The squeezing sensation in my chest disappeared after a bit.

What was that……?

It’s really strange.

But still……

「I don’t really mind it, I think……?」

It’s an unfamiliar feeling.

It’s a feeling I don’t quite understand.

But……

Right now, I want to cherish this faint warmth.

That’s what I think.

「…… Afuuh……」

It’s about time I started to get really sleepy.

It’s so late at night.

I have to go to bed soon.

「…… But I’m so lonely.」

I knew it, being on my own is really lonely.

I’d rather be with everyone else.

I want to be with Rein.

「…… Nnh……」

I grabbed my pillow and got off the bed.

Just like that, I left the room and moved to Rein’s room.

「…… Rein?」

I quietly knocked on the door, but there was no answer.

When I opened the door, I found Rain sleeping comfortably on the bed.
「Umm…… Please excuse me……」

I put my pillow next to Rein and climbed into the bed.

I spun around and curled up.

「Mhh…… I knew it…… Rein is… so warm……」.

I felt like I could sleep comfortably like this.

I quietly closed my eyes.

「…… Good night.」