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V10 Story IV – Part 05

In the borderline between dreams and reality, I delved into a dream deeper than any before.

I realized I was lying in someone’s lap. With each breath, a sweet fragrance wrapped around my throat.

The thick smell brought to mind decaying flesh, but instead of the expected foul odor, an unusual sweetness hung in the air. Suddenly, a hand began stroking my head, urging me to wake.

I slowly opened my eyes to find a woman in scarlet, her thick lips curled into a sneer.

“Are you sure this is acceptable?” she said softly.

I slowly inhaled. My head was still crushed, brain matter flowing out of my skull. I took another breath, deep this time. I couldn’t help but wonder how I was able to breathe when I was dead.

I closed my eyes, feeling hollow to the core. I couldn’t even move anymore.

I tried to speak but found no words. But as if sensing my unspoken thoughts, the woman nodded. She gently took my hand, intertwining her fingers with mine. My right hand was covered in blood, and my left hand had fingers as slender as a woman’s.

“Have you learned your lesson, Odagiri-kun?” she suddenly said in a soft, gentle voice.

I tried to figure out what she meant by that. Indeed, I had learned my lesson. I couldn’t imagine going through more horrific situations.

The woman smiled. “You’re more compassionate than most, but also a bit cowardly, and you tend to put your own well-being first. A part of you wants to prioritize your own interests, but your relationships with others makes it quite difficult. In a nutshell, you’re an ordinary person. This isn’t something you can endure. What will you do now, I wonder?”

She touched my head. Her slender fingers explored my brain, yet there was no pain. Instead, a peculiar pleasure emanated from her touch. Her soft lips touched my forehead.

“If you wish to return, I can grant you repose,” she went on. “It’s okay. Just immerse in your unchanging routine, like savoring a drug. No growth, no development, no degeneration. If you ever want to return to such a world, you can go back to that apartment anytime.”

She chuckled softly, and for a moment, a different emotion flickered in her eyes. But it swiftly vanished. She reverted to her original expression, resuming her temptations.

“Just say yes, Odagiri-kun. You’ve always wanted to go back.”

I don’t know what you’re talking about, but no.

The words came out but dissipated before they made a sound. The woman’s eyes widened. I stared hard at her. Unfounded refusal filled every corner of my mind.

She lifted my blood-soaked fingers. Her lips curved into a gentle arc.

“You will go insane. Still, do you insist on staying as you are?”

You’re not making any sense to me, but I can’t agree.

I went on in a dazed state, desperately extending my right arm to scoop up the spilled brain matter into my palm. I smeared the sticky red fluid on my abdomen, and my headache eased a little.

I closed my eyes and envisioned a poignant scene. Familiar images flashed in my mind. It was like watching a documentary, scenes that felt like they happened a hundred years ago.

Maybe I’d already gone insane. But I was fine with that.

People shed tears for me a long time ago.

I don’t remember it well, but I’m sure of it.

So I have to go back.

I…

I paused, took a deep breath and exhaled.

I can’t abandon my world and my child.

Even if I didn’t want them in the first place.

When I looked up at the woman, she was wearing a frown. She looked as if she was bit by her pet dog. It made no sense. There was no reason for her to react this way.

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again. I don’t need you.

The woman smiled. Her fingers sank into the brain matter, her smooth palm caressing the inside of my skull. My eyeballs were pushed from within; they were on the verge of spilling out of my sockets.

“Very well. I will respect your wishes,” she said affectionately. “Live freely to your heart’s content, Odagiri-kun.”

Squish.

A squelch echoed in the crimson world. The woman crushed my left eye.

Pain surged through my entire body, piercing me with unbearable agony. My brain had been crushed, but my senses remained clear. My eyes peeled back as I screamed, a scream that exceeded the capacity of my vocal chords.

Devouring my crushed eyeball, the woman said sweetly, “Let yourself go insane, then.”

My vision distorted like melting candy. The crimson world crumbled away.

I was lifted, bent, twisted, at the mercy of the shifting space.

The world disintegrated completely, leaving no trace behind, and then…

I was thrown into hell.

---

Splash, squish.

A small knife punctured my flesh, carefully peeling it away from my body.

Viscous blood spilled, tracing a red line as it pooled in the cupped hand of the man holding my arm. My mind remained clear. Even as my flesh was torn, I couldn’t succumb to death.

I had found myself being eaten alive.

Lying in a bamboo grove, I stared at the dark night sky. Occasionally the wind blew, sending leaves falling, but I couldn’t reach out to touch them. The muscles on my left arm, held up by the man, had been severed.

My right arm was missing below the elbow, and both my legs had been cleaved at the thighs. They were likely roasting them over the bonfire, ready for consumption. My palm was flayed again, the man meticulously butchering my hand.

He collected some meat and returned to the bonfire. I closed my eyes and exhaled.

Relentless pain wracked my entire being—acute, momentary stabs of agony, and a searing sensation. My body felt like a mass of pain; I could no longer tell exactly where it hurt.

My breathing was shallow. Screaming was futile. Breathing alone caused blood to froth in my throat. The man found my voice grating, so he cut my vocal chords first. Next were my breasts, then my groin.

As pain ravished my brain, I wondered: whose body was this? Who was experiencing this excruciating agony?

I opened my eyes and shifted my gaze. Warriors clad in armor surrounded the bonfire, roasting and feasting on pieces of me, sometimes raw. Drunken laughter echoed.

One man rose, perhaps out of meat. He placed a fat-stained blade on my fingers, but I didn’t react. I knew well that crying and struggling were pointless.

After all, this was the twenty-first time I was experiencing this memory.

Bones snapped. Fingers rolled. Unlike me, who was unresponsive, the body’s owner’s hatred was palpable. She was crying, vicious thoughts running wildly through her mind.

I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you,
I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you!

She loathed them, cursed them, abhorred them, but she couldn’t conquer the pain.

Her misfortune was that her body wasn’t strictly human. If it were, she would have died instantly.

As the body was eaten over and over, I thought, this pain is enough to turn a human into a demon.

The bamboos rustled. Organs were extracted from the exposed abdomen. With the removal of the stomach, the end had finally come. My consciousness faded, and the surroundings blurred.

She was freed now, but not me. This madness would persist until I went insane.

I would die again, and wake up again.

And then…

How many more times could I take this?

---

I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. I…

---

Beep.

Huh?