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V6 Story IV – Part 02

“Shirayuki-san, I didn’t mean it like that. I just—”

“Why?! Why would you send that kind of let—?!”

“You’ve got it wrong!” I cut her off.

Shirayuki jumped back from me, her whole body shaking. Tears continued spilling down her cheeks. I didn’t want her to cry anymore, but I didn’t know how to stop her tears from falling. Telling her my reason would only hurt her more.

But I couldn’t just dodge the matter. I took a deep breath. I had to reject her feelings unequivocally.

“I was planning to talk to you about this once we saw each other again,” I explained. “You’re a wonderful woman. You’re kind and strong. You risked your life to save a worthless man like me. The man you marry will surely be the happiest in the world.”

Shirayuki opened her fan, but I didn’t wait for her to speak.

“But I can’t reciprocate your feelings. I have a child inside me, and she won’t disappear until I die. I can’t leave Mayu-san’s side either. There should be plenty of men more worthy of you. My existence would only bring misfortune to you… and ultimately to the clan you hold dear. So… I’m sorry.”

I looked Shirayuki straight in the eye. Her red, swollen eyes stared back at me. I had no other words to say. As long as I had the child in me, marriage was nothing but a pipe dream. That fact wouldn’t change. Besides, I still had the fox to worry about. He could wake up at any time. And the fact remained that at my core, I was a person who destroyed others, someone who only thought about themselves. The fox’s remark from before still held true in some ways.

There was no way a person like me could love someone else.

Shirayuki watched me silently, her fists shaking. Her fan flashed open.

On it was her response.

“I can handle it.”

“…Pardon?”

I didn’t understand what she meant. Shirayuki’s glare intensified.

“I said, I can handle it.”

She was no longer crying. Her face was grim.

She wrote quickly with her brush, opening and closing her fan vigorously.

“I do not care if you have a child in your belly. If you need Mayuzumi to close your stomach, I will settle for a long-distance relationship. I can handle it. Do not take me lightly. I will not give up on the man I fell in love with simply because of some minor obstacle.”

She was crazy.

“That’s a bad idea!” I objected. “Please think about it carefully. Besides, you falling in love with me is just—”

“You do not dislike me, do you? You think that the man who marries me will be happy. I do not see the problem, then. I have decided to be with you! I have decided to have your child. I have decided to make love with you.”

“H-Hold on.” My voice rose. “Do you even know what you’re saying?!”

What in the world was she saying now?

Shirayuki lowered her head and wrote more with her brush.

“I have decided to have your child. I only want your child. I professed my love to you with that in mind. But you…”

Her small shoulders quivered. Her fan creaked.

The next moment, it snapped in half.

Shirayuki immediately pulled out a new fan and continued writing. She raised her face. Her face was bright red, her lips trembling, her eyes teary.

“You should be ashamed for making a woman say these things!”

“I didn’t make you say any of tha—”

A fist landed on my stomach, and I dropped to my knees. Shirayuki came to her senses and rubbed my back. Her panic said she didn’t mean to hit me.

Seconds later, I recovered. Shirayuki turned her face away and opened her fan.

“Allow me to declare my love once more. Would you be my lover with the promise of marriage?”

“I already said I can’t!” I shouted.

Whatever she said, I couldn’t agree to it.

Shirayuki’s face darkened. Her demeanor changed completely, from stern to feeble.

“Do you not like me? Am I not worthy of being your wife?”

“I don’t dislike you. But I don’t love you either. I can’t give you a halfhearted answer. Will you be satisfied if I agreed? No, right? This is a serious matter to you.”

Images of the past came flashing back. A woman—Shizuka—smiled. She wanted to have my child, and her wish was granted in a twisted way.

She craved my love and robbed me of my consciousness. I knew that her brand of love was crazy. I also knew that Shirayuki’s feelings were different. The weight of loving someone was painfully evident to me. I couldn’t say yes when I didn’t love her, when I didn’t see her that way romantically.

I still couldn’t love anyone. I don’t know when I’ll be able to.

“I really can’t,” I said. “I’m very sorry.”

Shirayuki didn’t respond. She held her fan tightly in silence.

She looked at me with a quiet gaze. With tears in her eyes, she opened her fan.

“Even so, I will not give up. I cannot give up.”

But I couldn’t give in either.

We avoided each other’s gaze, and a heavy silence fell in the room.

“Uh… um…”

A feeble voice broke the silence. We turned our attention to the source of the voice and found Aya there. I had completely forgotten about her.

Baffled, Aya glanced back and forth between us. She walked away, tiptoeing.

“Um, I gotta go.”

She slipped through the gap in the door and poked her face back inside.

“I’ll see you around, Odagiri. If you make it out of this alive.”

Why did she have to say something so ominous?

Shirayuki refused to leave, so she stayed in my apartment that night. I gave her my futon, while I lied down inside the closet. When I woke up the next morning, Shirayuki was already awake and getting ready. Without facing her, I changed my clothes in the bathroom and went outside.

---

And now back to the present.

“You know what they say: you shouldn’t get involved in a lovers’ quarrel.” Resting her chin on her hand, Mayuzumi let out a soft sigh.

I suppressed the urge to smoke.

“It’s not a lovers’ quarrel!” I protested, pressing my forehead.

“It is not a lovers’ quarrel, but a marital quarrel.”

“Shirayuki-san!”

Shirayuki turned her face away from me and hid her mouth behind her fan.

Mayuzumi’s lips lifted as she picked up a piece of chocolate. She crushed the soft candy with her tongue.

“So for the young lady, Odagiri-kun’s financial situation is no problem. You sure are in a hurry. I’m not fond of this type of dispute. It’s like sprinkling powdered sugar on candy. Even I get heartburn. But in your case, Odagiri-kun might end up covered in blood before you even have a bittersweet conversation. I have to say, I find it amusing.”

Mayuzumi chuckled. Her voice reminded me of a bird’s ominous cry.

I shook my head with a sigh. My decision had not changed. But Shirayuki was not budging that easily either.

Mayuzumi lifted her cup. “Feel free to frolic about. If it’s enjoyable, I’ll watch, but if it’s not, I’ll ignore it. Unfortunately for you, Odagiri-kun, you have no time to relax.”

Click.

The hot chocolate disappeared behind her red lips. Feathers rustled, and her fierce eyes flickered.

Her eyes were like those of a cat. A different cat came to mind and slowly vanished.

“We have a case,” Mayuzumi said. “Blame the client for the bad timing. It’s even less interesting than usual, but the client is from a clan of espers. It’s difficult to refuse a case sent through the main family. Labor is sometimes the price of freedom. It’s stupid how the scales of cost and reward are not balanced.”

Mayuzumi smiled thinly. She didn’t clarify which scale was heavier.

I sighed again. Mayuzumi said we had a case, which meant I had no way to refuse. All I could do was pray that no one would die and nothing gruesome would happen.

But there was another problem this time. I glanced at Shirayuki sitting next to me.

She was staring at Mayuzumi grimly.

“You understand, right?” I said. “Please go home.”

“I refuse.”

“What are you saying?!”

“I know that cases brought to Miss Mayuzumi are often fraught with danger. I cannot let you go alone.”

Firm determination glinted in Shirayuki’s eyes.

Mayuzumi lifted her cup again and smiled. “I understand where you’re coming from. Knock yourself out. Your presence will be a weapon. The case doesn’t seem to require one, but it wouldn’t hurt to have you around. Your eyes say you don’t want to leave.”

Shirayuki nodded. She opened her fan again.

“I will accompany you. I cannot go home like this.”

“Very well.”

“Shirayuki-san!”

Shirayuki did not look at me.

“Think about what would happen to the Minase clan if you were hurt,” I pleaded. “Please take better care of yourself. I can’t bring you to the client. Yukihito must be worried abou—”

“The clan head’s husband problem must be that important to her,” Mayuzumi said. “As for me, it doesn’t really matter whether she comes or not. Let her do what she wants.”

Mayuzumi crossed her legs arrogantly. The black feathers that adorned her ankles shook. She picked up a piece of chocolate with her slim fingers and tossed it in her mouth.

“It doesn’t change the fact that it’s boring case anyway,” she said sweetly.

The black and white figures fell silent.

My voice alone continued ringing in the room.