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V6 Story IV – Part 13

A gentle gaze, like that of a large dog, was fixed upon me. Memories of stroking his hair came flooding back. How I loved the soft texture of his hair.

Itsuki was standing there with a kitchen knife in his hand.

He smiled at me with the same face.

“Looks like they’re gone,” he said. “Good thing I put the key in the car. Now we can finally talk in peace. Oh, you’re bleeding. Can you show me?”

He rushed over to me and knelt down, urging me to open my mouth like a child. He wasn’t trying to stab me with the knife. His face contorted in pain when he saw my wound.

“How… How are you…”

He wasn’t supposed to be alive.

He learned about my wish and was supposed to have taken his own life. But Itsuki shook his head gently. He wiped away the blood staining my chin and scratched his head bashfully.

“Yeah, I thought about killing myself. That’s what you wanted, right? But I wanted to see you one last time. While I was hiding, well, I saw you crying.”

He spoke in the same tone as always.

Despite my attempt to kill him, his attitude towards me hadn’t changed.

Cold fear welled up inside me. I found his affection terrifying, but at the same time, an immense sense of relief filled my chest. He had never been angry with me before. No matter what happened, he was always gentle with me and worried about my fate. It would be a lie to say that I was not attracted to him. That was why I tried to get rid of him.

Itsuki hid the fact that my husband had died. But I no longer had the desire to ask him about it.

Someone I was supposed to have killed was still alive.

Someone who was supposed to have disappeared was still there.

That fact made me very happy. Tears streamed down my cheeks, but I didn’t feel like stopping them. Crying like a child, I looked up at him. I tried to say something, but I couldn’t find the right words. Frowning, Itsuki wiped away my tears. He still touched my cheeks the same way.

“Please don’t make that face,” he said. “I didn’t show myself to make you cry. Hina, I…” He paused. “I killed Benihina with my own hands.” His voice suddenly turned grave.

My breath seized. Benihina, the kind and frail girl, flashed before my eyes. She was helpless, unable to do anything without me by her side. Gentle and feeble Benihina, someone who you couldn’t help but love if she smiled at you.

It was for this reason that I wanted her gone. I’m a ruthless person.

“If you wish for me to die, then I will do it,” Itsuki said. “The decision is yours, Hina. But first, please listen to what I have to say. I’ve kept a secret from you for far too long, and I don’t want to hide anything anymore.”

He pursed his lips and placed the kitchen knife before me, leaving judgment in my hands.

But it was my actions that killed her. It was I who made the decision to end the life of that innocent girl. He was like the crows, simply fulfilling my wish. That was all.

How could I hold him accountable? I bit my lip and shook my head.

Itsuki caressed my cheek gently, his eyes full of affection. “You’ve been crying alone, haven’t you? If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, let’s leave this cursed forest and start anew.” His tone was calm. “You will be free from the cage. But if you can’t forgive me, then you can end my life. And you will live on alone.”

But I could no longer live alone. My husband was gone, never to return, and apart from Itsuki, I had no one to rely on.

It was I who needed to beg for forgiveness. And if he were to forgive me, I would ask him to stay by my side.

Before I could say anything, he spoke.

“I’m the one who killed your husband.”

His words struck me like a bolt of lightning, tearing my ears apart with their suddenness. It felt like blood flowed down my cheeks. I struggled to comprehend what he just said. I stared up at him with wide eyes.

Itsuki’s expression remained unchanged, his smile as gentle and serene as ever. He gazed at me with the same affectionate eyes as a faithful hound.

I repeated the words over and over in my mind, hoping to make sense of them. Slowly, they began to sink in, and my head ached as if it had been hit. My body shook uncontrollably.

Itsuki, however, remained calm and collected as he spoke. “Before you get the wrong idea, the others had nothing to do with it. I acted alone. After locating his house, I had a crow throw a live coal at it. That much I can manage. I didn’t mean for the entire house to burn down, though. I feel bad for dragging his wife and child into it.”

His words turned into incomprehensible noise that vanished. My heart refused to accept it, but my mind scrutinized his words. His confession reverberated throughout the red forest. Still smiling, he closed his mouth. I sat there looking at him, stunned and dazed.

I didn’t know what face I was making. Whether my eyes were filled with tears or pure hatred.

“This is what I’ve been hiding from you all along. I was finally able to say it.”

He spread his arms wide and flashed a smile brighter than any I had ever seen.

“Hina, will you forgive me?”

Caw, caw, caw, caw, caw, caw, caw, caw, caw, caw!

A crow cried in my ears. My birds expressed their rage and chastisement.

If my crows were here, they would kill him. But they were no longer around. They all died because of me. They wouldn’t respond to my words anymore. So I had to make the choice alone.

Intense hatred burned in my chest, mixed with confusion and fear. If I killed him, I would be alone. It would be the same as killing myself. Could I kill myself? Could I kill him with my own hands? I just didn’t know.

Itsuki’s arms were spread wide.

He was waiting for my answer, either of them.

To kill or not to kill.

To forgive or not to forgive.

Unable to come to a decision, I gripped the kitchen knife. It was terribly heavy. Come to think of it, I had never dirtied my own hands. I was struck by a fierce vertigo. My legs shook uncontrollably. Stabbing a person was terrifying. How could I ask the crows to do this?

Despair and anger clouded my vision. I imagined the sensation of stabbing him. But I didn’t want to think about being alone. Solitude was too heavy for me to bear.

Perhaps forgiveness was an option.

He spreads his arms as if waiting for an embrace. His chest was defenseless.

Should I thrust the blade into his heart, or should I embrace him?

Not knowing what to do, I darted forward. He smiled happily.

Crying and screaming, I jumped into his chest.

His chest was very warm.

My scream sounded like a crow’s cry.

Countless chocolates lay on the table.

Candies of various shapes sat neatly inside a box, ribbons intertwined atop.

Mayuzumi was lying in front of the messy table. Her body was clothed in a thin negligee. Nails tapping on the leather couch, she looked up at me.

Her small lips parted. “This past month has been rather eventful, wouldn’t you agree?” Her voice was lethargic. “Not overly entertaining, but far better than monotony. And now you’ve realized it too, haven’t you, Odagiri-kun?”

Her cat-like eyes blinked, and her lips curved into a gentle smile.

The air conditioning in this apartment was perfect. Filled with a sweet aroma, it seemed surreal.

It felt as though time had come to a halt in this night-shrouded apartment.

“Ultimately, it is the human heart that’s truly terrifying. Not the abyss, but rather the one staring at it,” Mayuzumi said with a laugh.

I silently agreed.

All the tragic incidents that Mayuzumi and I were involved in had one common factor: human emotions taken to their extremes.

It wasn’t the supernatural that was scary, but rather the human heart. I understood that now.

Still, I wanted to believe in the parts that resided outside of the darkness. What was terrifying was not the abyss, but the one peering into it. But if I continued staring at that person’s back, eventually, I too would end up staring at the abyss.

Just because you’ve seen hell once doesn’t mean you should assume that the whole world was hell.

I still wished to believe in the good of others.

Mayuzumi’s eyes flickered. Even though I hadn’t uttered a single word, she smiled faintly.

Her pale hand extended, grabbing a cap adorned with two plump pandas nibbling on bamboo leaves.

“That’s right. Darkness can swallow anyone. It’s far more entertaining to see someone fight desperately, than to watch them drown into the depths of human darkness.”

Mayuzumi chuckled.

Staring at me with amusement, she said, “Good night, Odagiri-kun.”

“Good night, Mayu-san,” I replied. “Sweet dreams.”

I turned off the light and exited Mayuzumi’s room.

The dim apartment was engulfed in the veil of slumber.

B.A.D. 6: Mayuzumi Sleeps in Boredom Eternally