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V9 Story IV – Part 04

Supporting Yusuke, I made my way to the warehouse. His new legs had not fully integrated with his body yet.

Maihime’s white figure led the way, with Shirayuki choosing to stay behind. Since Shirayuki didn’t know Hirugao that well. She felt it was best for just Yusuke and me to go alone.

Inside the storehouse, discarded puppets were scattered about. Their numbers had significantly decreased. Casting a glance at the rusty bloodstains that marked the spot where she had collapsed, Maihime weaved her way through the puppets, leading us into the far wall of the storehouse, an area we hadn’t ventured into before.

Maihime placed a hand on one of the cardboard boxes stacked atop each other.

“The items in here are from our childhood. Both of us were treated as humans only during our early years. Since then, my sister’s toys have been stored here.”

She tilted the cardboard box, revealing children’s toys inside. Balls, dolls, building bricks, a box of crayons. The box of crayons had been opened, with several crayons missing.

“Before I met you, Mr. Yusuke, I came here to look at these items and noticed some crayons were missing. That’s when I found what was left here. I wish I hadn’t noticed it.”

Maihime moved a few steps ahead, and we followed her. The wall behind the cardboard box came into view. Several crayons were scattered on the floor. As I raised my gaze, my eyes widened in surprise.

There were scribbles on the wall, tiny drawings done at a child’s eye level. They seemed hastily drawn, with thick, uneven lines. Several morning glory flowers were depicted, their petals layered with crayon marks.

Next to the pink, light blue, and blue flowers, there was another drawing. It featured a distorted, flesh-colored circle adorned with black and red marks that vaguely resembled someone’s face. When I caught sight of the slightly long yellow hair, it dawned on me.

It was Yusuke.

“…Hirugao?” Yusuke muttered.

He fell to his knees, reaching out with trembling hands.

His fingers touched the crude drawing. Crayon dust fell like flakes. The warehouse wall must have been a challenging surface for drawing, given the forceful marks left by the crayons. Yusuke’s hand recoiled as if touching something hot. He cautiously traced the mouth of the drawn face.

Hirugao had written her farewell in Yusuke’s notebook. She must have known that she might not return. Just before going to the Mayuzumi residence, she left this drawing behind, as if cutting out something precious to her.

“Yusuke! Yusuke!”

Suddenly, Hirugao’s voice echoed in my ears. An imaginary, tiny figure appeared behind Yusuke. Hirugao sat there, drawing this picture, moving the crayon in her hand. When she saw the completed drawing, she grinned. The illusion triggered a flood of memories to spill.

She used to laugh joyfully. She enjoyed jumping on the couch. Images of her playing with Yusuke, like close siblings, filled my mind. It was like a punch to the gut.

I had completely forgotten. This was her.

This was the Hirugao who didn’t hang herself; this was her true form.

“Why… Why, Hirugao…”

Yusuke pulled his hand back from the drawing and slammed his fist on the nearby wall. The wound on his right hand opened, and blood spilled out.

He chewed his lip. Frustration filled his eyes. He pounded the wall multiple times, cursing.

“I… I’m smiling.”

Yusuke in the picture was indeed smiling, his red lips forming a wide curve. Hirugao had left this drawing behind.

As if to say she cherished that smile of his above all else.

“So what? What’s the point in all this? You drew this before you died, but it doesn’t change a thing. You’re gone. What does it matter if I was smiling in that drawing? It’s all fucking meaningless,” Yusuke cursed bitterly, his contorted face on the verge of tears.

He kept saying that it didn’t matter, even though no one had asked.

“It doesn’t matter. What’s the point in all of this?”

“…Yusuke,” I called.

He went silent. No matter how many times he said it, it was futile. Deep down, he must have understood.

“You get it, don’t you?”

She loved his smile. She wouldn’t have wanted to lose it.

Yusuke raised a fist, but brought it back down. He stared at the drawing before him. The days he spent with Hirugao must be flashing before his eyes. It became clear once again.

He should have cried. Felt sorrow, grief, resentment. He should have continued living so that he could smile again someday.

“I…” Yusuke muttered like a lost child. “What have I been doing?”

I had no words to offer in response.

The Yusuke in the picture continued to smile. The Yusuke gazing at the drawing was in tears.

His eyes remained open, tears continuously streaming down his face.

We waited patiently for Yusuke to finish crying.

Staring at Hirugao’s drawing, he stood up. After some time, he finally stood up, his eyes fixed on Hirugao’s drawing. He let out a deep sigh, shaking his head, and sniffled as he wiped away his tears with his sleeve.

Without turning around, he spoke in a low voice, “I couldn’t forgive you.”

Maihime nodded silently. Yusuke continued speaking, his words not expecting a response.

“I still haven’t forgiven you for what you did to Hirugao. I don’t know if I ever will. I hate you. I hate you for using Hirugao. I still want to beat you to death for it.”

Yusuke clenched his fist, his true feelings laid bare. After hearing what Maihime had to say, he gave up on killing her, but his resentment wouldn’t easily fade. He shook his head frantically.

“…Still, thank you,” he said awkwardly.

My breath caught, and Maihime smiled faintly.

Yusuke turned around and looked at Maihime with red, swollen eyes.

“You gave me legs. Thanks to you, I got to see Hirugao’s drawing. I broke your legs, but you helped me anyway… Why… Why?!” he howled.

Maihime closed her eyes for a moment, then reopened them. She watched Yusuke with a tender gaze.

“I’ve lived my life without feeling ashamed in front of anyone,” she said proudly, clasping her hands in front of her chest.

She had uttered the same words countless times before. She never compromised her own pride. Her voice was gentle at first, but grew weaker as time went on.

“If you hate me, then come and kill me. I thought that would make everything right. I believed it was my duty. My obligation for living in arrogance. But nothing was ever forgiven.”

I swallowed hard. These words didn’t seem like they came from Maihime.

She faced the graffiti, smiling as she looked at the blooming morning glories.

“There were things that even my death couldn’t atone for. Did you know? Puppets don’t draw on their own.”

She gazed at the drawing solemnly. I couldn’t fully agree with her words. Some of her puppets were almost indistinguishable from humans. However, puppets that were programmed to faithfully follow orders would probably not leave drawings behind. Hirugao couldn’t resist the orders.

Nevertheless, she left this drawing behind. While being used as a puppet, she left Yusuke’s smile behind of her own free will. Maihime bit her lip. Her face was filled with clear regret.

“I couldn’t have imagined that she had something she loved. And I didn’t even think that my death would break something.”

She glanced at the space beside her, her eyes filled with distress, but there was no sign of the man who had faithfully served her for so long. Maihime closed her eyes tightly and placed her hand on her chest.

“My arrogance hurt you, and my conviction drove Kugutsu to madness.”

She looked at Yusuke again, and their gazes met. Slowly, her lips parted.

“I should have been more imaginative. That child could have lived as a human without having to kill me. It seemed like I gave her a choice, but in reality, I was only coercing her. After all is said and done, I was simply bound by my own rules,” she sighed.

She closed her eyes regretfully. Then, she gave another courteous bow. Her veil-like white hair flowed beautifully.

“I gave you legs as an apology and gratitude… I was simply foolish.”

For the first time, she, who had always lived proudly, acknowledged her mistakes. Still bending the waist, she continued to speak, hiding her face and emotions from view.

“You treated her like a human being.”

Yusuke was left speechless, covering his face in disbelief with one hand, tears streaming down his cheeks. Maihime remained motionless, her head still lowered. I turned my gaze toward the graffiti on the wall.

Suddenly, I recalled Yusuke’s question.

What is happiness?

For Hirugao, it was undoubtedly the days she spent with Yusuke. There was nothing more blissful than sharing little moments of joy with someone.

Yusuke was the one who made that possible.

Perhaps, even without realizing it, he must have known the true meaning of happiness.