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V9 Story IV – Part 08

“Now, let’s say I’ll slit my throat right here.”

He extended the blade from his prosthetic hand again. When Yusuke saw it, he stopped.

Kugutsu was still smiling. A very gentle smile.

“Can you forgive me then? This is basically what you’re saying.”

I held my left arm. My entire body was shaking violently.

His words were utterly absurd. I wanted to spit on him and smash his face in. But for some reason, a part of my mind was strangely calm. I narrowed my eyes.

Something caught my attention. A slight sense of discomfort calmed me down.

There was a shadow in Kugutsu’s smile. He seemed to have given up on everything, thinking that it would be fine to commit suicide. He clearly wasn’t thinking straight.

However, that didn’t mean that what he had done to me could be forgiven.

I wanted to tell him to die right now, but I swallowed the words rising up my throat.

My stomach writhed and began to tear apart. Shirayuki’s brush moved vigorously, and her sleeves fluttered as if blown by a powerful gust of wind. Gray ink swirled repeatedly. I recognized the storm clouds.

Yusuke prepared to leap at Kugutsu.

“I won’t forgive you.” I finally managed to speak. My voice was terribly faint.

Undispellable anger burned within Kugutsu. A grudge so strong that he thought it was justified to hurt people and cause pain. It was easy to focus on that alone and direct the same anger. However, humans are more than just that.

“But I won’t kill you.”

A dragon emerged from Shirayuki’s sleeve. Its long jaw clashed, and its beard fluttered.

It burst out, flying into the open. Its long body soared. My stomach split wide open. Yusuke darted forward. All the attacks were directed at Kugutsu.

I bounded. I half-vaulted over the handrail and let gravity do the rest. My vision tilted and inverted.

Kugutsu’s eyes widened significantly. He was genuinely surprised, like a child.

“Huh…?”

I looked up at him. I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t think of anything on the spot. Neither words of forgiveness nor insults seemed appropriate. So, I chose silence and just continued to stare at him.

Various expressions crossed Kugutsu’s face as he clung to the handrail. He tried to make fun of me and laughed, but he failed. He reached out his hand. His blood-soaked fingers grasped empty air. He yelled something, his face scrunched up.

In the next instant, his anguished voice held meaning.

“Sir…!”

It was probably a spontaneous reaction. He tried to grab my arm without thinking about the implications of his actions. Drops of blood fell on my cheek. As I looked at his fingers, a thought came to me.

Despite committing brutal acts without a second thought, inflicting cruelty, harming others, he still felt regret. He didn’t intend for things to turn out like this. People can’t live with just hate, rage, and the desire to take someone’s life. Perhaps, that’s what it truly means to be human.

“So you’re human, Kugutsu… You’re not a dog.”

I didn’t know if my words reached him. Suddenly, I was snatched from the air.

Scales brushed against my back. The supple body of the dragon caught me.

A serpent-like body spiraled down to the floor. Another, using its jaws, supported my body gently from the side. They had called off their attack on Kugutsu, and instead cautiously lowered me to the ground. It then melted away, returning to ink. I lay on the black surface. Uka’s face emerged from my torn belly.

Kugutsu was far away. She was about to jump, but I managed to call her first.

“Would you stay by dad’s side, Uka? I’m cold… really cold.”

Papa? Papa? Is it cold?

Uka looked around. Despite baring her teeth, it seemed she had given up on Kugutsu. She spread her arms and legs wide and embraced me, trying to cover my body like a futon. But she was too short. I couldn’t help but smile. I raised my arm to pat her head.

At that moment, I saw someone running. Shirayuki hugged me tightly, screaming. Uka, squeezed between us, looked annoyed, but she put up with it, likely because I told her before not to eat her.

Shirayuki clung to me desperately. I stroked her hair with my bloody right hand. It was regrettable that her hair had turned red, but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to let go of her.

“I never intended to die, Shirayuki-san. I knew you would save me,” I said, feeling her warmth.

My gaze shifted to the second floor, where Kugutsu’s body lay prostrate. I gasped as I initially thought Yusuke had punched Kugutsu. But I was wrong.

Maihime was the one causing the commotion. She was frantically yelling something, her white hair disheveled, repeatedly slapping Kugutsu’s cheeks. I could only hear bits and pieces of what she was saying.

“You’re not… dog. I… Stop being a fool. Are you planning to leave me alone? The days I spent with you were like a miracle.”

She embraced him. Kugutsu gaped at me, and I nodded at him.

He grimaced and averted his gaze, but he made no attempt to push Maihime away. It should be fine now. In her arms, he was safe from harm.

I breathed out a sigh of relief. Then, someone grabbed my arm.

“Are you stupid?! What the hell are you doing?! Are you even conscious?! God damn it!”

It was Yusuke. He grabbed my left hand and swiftly used his clothes to wrap around the wound. He had rushed down the stairs. Good thing he came after me and not Kugutsu. He desperately tried to stop the bleeding, but the cloth quickly turned red.

“I used to believe there was an invisible wall around me,” he said, still in a state of confusion, large tears streaming down his face. He shook his head while maintaining pressure on the blood-soaked cloth.

“But that wasn’t true. Hirugao loved my smile, and you came to my stupid ass’s rescue. I finally understood. But why are you the one lying down bloody? Why does it always end up like this?!”

He was on the brink of a panic attack. Yusuke gripped my hand tightly, his eyes widening at the sight of blood.

“You’re not dying, are you? You won’t die from something like this, right? I don’t want you to die! Why does it have to be like this? I don’t want that!”

He burst into tears like a child, continuing to apply pressure on the wound with. Even after I reassured him multiple times that I wouldn’t die, it seemed like he couldn’t hear it.

Just then, someone approached from the distance, a striking red figure against the dark background. Holding a parasol over her shoulder, she peered down at me, and I offered her a smile.

Amidst all the chaos, she alone remained calm, her gaze constantly cold. She looked lovely in her signature gothic lolita attire.

She gently pursed her lips, shrugged her shoulders, and said, “You really are an insufferable fool.”

Ah, she was right. I was utterly stupid. But for now, it was all right.

After ensuring the safety of everyone, I closed my eyes.

Then, one more figure in red…

Snap!

---

In the borderline between dreams and reality, I delved into a dream deeper than any before.

I realized I was lying in someone’s lap. With each breath, a sweet fragrance wrapped around my throat.

The thick smell brought to mind decaying flesh, but instead of the expected foul odor, an unusual sweetness hung in the air. Suddenly, a hand began stroking my head, urging me to wake.

I slowly opened my eyes to find a woman in red, her thick lips curled into a sneer.

“Are you sure this is acceptable?” she said softly.

I couldn’t quite process what she said. What did she mean by acceptable? I was completely exhausted, feeling hollow to the core. I couldn’t even move, and I had no reservations about the choices I’d made. I tried to speak but found no words.

But as if sensing my unspoken thoughts, the woman nodded. She gently took my hand, intertwining her fingers with mine. However, my right hand was covered in blood, and my left hand was missing fingers.

Her porcelain fingers obscured the gruesome injury, and her tender palm cradled the severed bone.

“Listen, Odagiri-kun, you were originally just an ordinary human,” she suddenly said in a soft, gentle voice.

For me, it hardly mattered. I had no wish to contemplate what kind of person I was at this point. Nonetheless, the woman persisted.

“You’re more compassionate than most, but also a bit cowardly, and you tend to put your own well-being first. A part of you wants to prioritize your own interests, but your relationships with others makes it quite difficult. In a nutshell, you’re an ordinary person. And yet, for some reason, you’ve become extremely altruistic lately. Why is that, I wonder?”

Her slender fingertips explored my wound, yet there was no pain. Instead, a peculiar pleasure emanated from her touch. Her soft lips touched my forehead.

Smiling, she carried on, “That urge comes from being thrust into extraordinary circumstances and abandoning a woman. Afterward, you kept facing human malice, witnessing their desires, emotions, and how they break. You’re not like them. You’re normal. You want to be normal. You have to be normal. To maintain your own identity, you’ve chosen to prove your virtuosity through self-sacrifice. You’re overcompensating against putting your own desires first. You’re basically saying, ‘Look how much I’ve paid. I’m different.’”

I thought about what she said. Did I genuinely want to show that I was good? I couldn’t say for certain.

Flashes of my past experiences rushed into my mind. People falling apart, destroying one another. Various instances came to mind, and last came the image of Hirugao and Higasa.

“Everything is your fault,” the words of the fox came echoing back to me, carrying the shock and self-loathing I felt when I heard them.

I couldn’t deem the woman’s words as lies. I began to understand the underlying reasons for my actions.

I wanted to believe that I wasn’t that kind of person.

“Surely, you’ve had enough. You are, by nature, a coward. You’ve averted your gaze from a lot of things, but the less you do that, the greater the toll on yourself. At this rate, you’ll soon exceed the price a human being can pay. Don’t you wish to return to the old times, Odagiri-kun?”

Return? I asked.

The scarlet woman nodded softly. “If you wish to return, I can grant you repose,” she said tenderly. Too tender. “There’s no need for you to continue pushing yourself. You’ve made countless sacrifices, even when it wasn’t necessary. At times, you bled even while looking away.”

She chuckled softly, and for a moment, a different emotion flickered in her eyes, but it swiftly vanished. She reverted to her original expression, resuming her temptations.

“Just say yes, Odagiri-kun. You’ve always wanted to go back.”

Nah, I’m good.