Cop Craft Volume 4 Chapter 6 Part 2
「Um… so, that girl, is she cute?」
Bob asked without holding back
「Eh? Yeah, she is… Ah, well actually, that may just be my personal bias. But then again, I think maybe, I would say that she is more beautiful than I am」
「Woaaaaaaaah!」
The self proclaimed Three Musketeers raised their voices in excitement. A beautiful girl that even Tilarna recognizes!
And it’s her sister!
And she’s an S!
「Can you get her to step on me? No, for real, I just want her to step on me, nothing more!」
Shouted Bob
「No. That’s no good. Tilarna… you absolutely cannot tell your little sister to come here, okay…?」
Said Kenny in a worried voice
「Oh Dear God! Is this one of your trials that you have put before me?! Are you trying to tempt me, who has never been interested in lolis, to go towards greener pastures, and get involved in some shady business?! But there is no trial as severe as this one! Ah… how cruel you are!」
Shouted O’Neill while looking up at the ceiling.
「Wha— what are you getting so excited about…? I really don’t have the slightest idea」
「Let’s call her over! Hey Tilarna, can you call her over?! Just write a mail right now… no, you guys don’t have that, right? A letter. That’s right, a letter. Write it, write it!」
Bob shouted as he started getting more excited
「But even if you tell me that… Mylena is currently at Jymna Mildie in the capital. I can’t just call her over like that」
「Jymna… what now?」
「Jymna Mildie. Translating it literally… that would be… “Magic Academy”?」
「Oh…」
O’Neill pushed up his glasses in a swift motion and muttered
「In any case how old is she? Please let us know」
「In Earth’s years, she would be… around thirteen I think?」
「And that sister… doesn’t have any plans to come visit you anytime soon? Is that school very strict or something? Do they have like long breaks, say a summer vacation? Also, do you sisters get along?」
Tilarna got stiff from the sudden barrage of questions coming from O’Neill
「Do… don’t start asking all of this stuff so persistently all of a sudden! What are you even planning to do?!」
「No no no no no」
O’Neill shook his body, his hands and performed a large motion of denial.
「Sister Tilarna. I am not speaking out of any ill will whatsoever. I just want your sister to visit us so she can deepen her friendship with people from Earth! That was all I was thinking」
「… Let me tell you one thing, my sister is a Mildite at least as dangerous as I am myself. Don’t get any strange thoughts」
「I see, I thought so! However for the sake of friendship between both worlds, we could have her perform as a Gravure idol, or plenty of other alternatives. If possible, Sister Tilarna, together with you」
「What?!」
「We could sell that! I guarantee it! Definitely! Of course we can’t afford the luxury to label it X or anything. We are treading a fine line that we can’t be allowed to break. And you don’t even have to strip. Sexy clothes would be enough」
「Shut up already! Why do Myrana and I have to do that Gravure thing that I don’t understand?」
「There are lots of potential copyright profits!」
O’Neill stated
「I’m sure they are some terrific amounts! And with those earnings, you could set up a foundation for the less fortunate Semanians, or even financially support education programs. That’s right… we could call it the “Exedilika foundation”. With just a you two helping them out, many children could be saved!!」
He went for the full adlib. He was ready to be downright punched or kicked but… unexpectedly, Lady Tilarna simply stayed quiet deep in thought.
What a naive girl.
Is a girl like this even fit for doing all that harsh work required by the Vice department?
「W— well… but… it’s just our pictures, so I don’t think they’ll sell… bu— but… even if we could use them at least a little… then it’s true that there might be a reason to do it…」
「No, more importantly」
Kenny butted in
「You know Tilarna? It’s true that those Gravure may sell well, but that would ultimately hurt your own dignity. I don’t think you should consider helping people with that kind of money」
「That— you may be right… Kenny, I’m sorry」
Tilarna changed her mind and then announced to O’Neill
「I decided I won’t do it. I refuse」
「Yeah」
Kenny nodded with a serious expression
「Brother Kenny?! Did you just develop a common sense?!」
「This is something I can’t overlook, Kenny! You are no longer a Brother!」
O’Neill and Bob kept berating him, but Kenny simply waved his hand at them almost as if telling them to shut up
「Ah, give me a break. As if Mister Matoba would allow something like that to happen in the first place. Besides, once you got to the studio and she found out what she had to do, the first one to be killed would be you」
「Hmph. That may be true…」
「… Anyways, how long do you intend to drag this out? It’s time to move on」
「Oh my, you are right. It’s all on me, I got so engrossed in the conversation about Sister Tilarna’s sibling that I lost track of time…」
「Well it’s not like we have any visible way to keep track of time anyways」
「We could if we wanted to…」
Said Bob and Kenny in unison
「Question number four!」
O’Neill announced in an attempt to break the dreary mood that had fallen upon the room.
「This one comes from Mister Smith from North Zalze: “What’s your favorite food from Earth?”」
「Ugh, what’s this? This is so straightforward, it’s kind of boring…」
Bob sighed
「Hm… but this is an easy question, good for slowing down. Well then, Sister Tilarna, tell us, ever since you arrived on earth, what has been your favorite food so far?」
「Ice cream!」
Tilarna raised her voice violently all of a sudden
「Vanilla, and strawberry, and caramel… in any case, ice cream is the best. I feel like I could eat dozens of them all at once. So many cool and pleasant, neverending sweet flavors…! Maybe your Dorini weapons and stuff is completely useless, but when it comes to your sweets… well, it’s frustrating, so frustrating, but they’re better than ours」
「Ah, I see…」
「And cream puff too. When I first saw that shape that resembled a cow’s feces, I questioned the sanity of your people, but its custard cream filling is just… and the way, the way it just melts, and then gently drips sweetening everything else… ah, we don’t have such scandalous sweets. The first time I ate it, I thought that I might even be losing my mind. I also really like cheesecakes and chocolate in general and well… I could go on and on. If I didn’t have a position as a Valsch, I almost feel like going to a sweets store and signing up for training」
Tilarna’s eyes were glowing, and she had taken her hands to her cheeks as she looked at the ceiling completely charmed.
She didn’t even notice O’Neill and the others’ sour expressions.
「Yeah, I know right? Puff cream」
「It’s good, right?」
「Well, let’s move on to the next question」
「By the way, now that you mention it, Cami and Jamie took me to this place the other day. We went to this place that lets you eat as many incredibly delicious sweets as you want to, right? Fufufu… it’s called Cake Viking, because you can eat as many sweets as a naval warrior. Isn’t that awesome? It’s as if you were pillaging for cakes! I even get excited just thinking about it. If there were places like that all over the world, I’m sure all wars and fighting would stop altogether!」
「Right…」
「Yeah who knows」
「Anyways, should we move on to the next question…?」
「Oh that’s right! Also… purin’! Purin is the absolute best. I don’t think I’ve ever had any sweets as delicious as purin! Kei ordered some the other day, “Pucchin Purin”, I think it was called! If you turn it around and tear the lower part of its container out, it turns into a neat little place. It was a revelation that shook my world! … Ah, how mysterious, Pucchin Purin. I thank Lord Kithenya for Pucchin Purin!」
「Pucchin Purin?」
「I think she means Pudding. I’ve heard that’s a particularly popular Japanese brand」
「Oh…」
Tilarna was getting excited, while O’Neill and the others were getting bored. As soon as she realized that, she cleared her own throat, and corrected her position.
「…Ehm… I’m sorry. I got a little carried away」
「It’s okay, no problem」
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