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Volume 6 Chapter 2 Part 18

Translation: Kurehashi Aiko
Editing: Team Foxsunes

When I think about the welcoming banquet that happened earlier this evening, both the Princess and Medium-sama looked so beautiful and happy, just like a pair of custom-made dolls. However, those were only appearances that they needed to keep. The only one who was making the effort to talk to the people around her was the Princess, while Medium-sama was just sitting there, looking bored out of his mind. When I was looking at them like that, I could not help it but realize that there was little to no chemistry going on in between them.

Of course, I do realize that since it was only their first meeting, it was still too late to draw any kind of conclusion. It is still entirely possible for the two to develop feelings for one another as a result of future interactions. But even so…… Even though I knew that it was unreasonable of a thing to do, I could not help it but to compare myself to the Princess.

「Say, Edi. Do you think that maybe I’m too blessed of a person?」

Even though I was already blessed with a partner as magnificent as that man, I could not help myself but to compare myself to other people and their happiness. Even the most nobles in this world could not say that they were blessed with a partner that they truly love. That fact alone was making me to be even a more blessed person than I think I am. And I am sure that the Princess would like to find a partner for herself that is just like that man, however her social status was getting her in the way of that goal.

「I get the feeling that I am getting blessed time after time, without really deserving any of it.」

I do realize that it was pretentious of me to say that. Still, I could not help myself but to think just like that. I also happen to remember the words that Heinrich spoke to me during the day. The ‘position’ of the Princess. I still am not all that sure just whatever he meant by that. Therefore, I could not really understand it or to relate to it in any kind of way. Ahh, just how arrogant of a woman I can be!?

 All this time while I was thinking to myself, the man looked as though he wanted to say something to me, but was keeping silent for now, as if waiting for the right moment to speak up. While wrapping me even tighter in his robe, I could hear him letting out a sight, a somewhat different from his usual ones. This one gave off the impression as if that man was troubled by something.

「I am not really the one who can tell you off because of that, but you really are the only person I know who would be able to say something like that about yourself. Have you already forgotten what the Medium said?」

While I was still gently combing that man’s hair with my hand, I could feel him placing his own hand on top of my own. His words right now sounded really reassuring.

「Is it not too early for you to try to get to understand every single meaning behind someone’s words?」

 I turned around to look at the man, and the motion forced me to take my hand off of his hair. That man looked at me slightly surprised, his eyebrows raised just a little bit. For a moment out there was just a gaze upon one another in complete silence.

 「You said to the Medium that you are full of negativity. However, just because you think of yourself like that it does not mean that I think about you in the very same way.」

About that short exchange that man got with the Medium during the banquet. Even though that man took the blame entirely onto himself, I do not think that it really is like that. Also, the fact that he covered for me like that did not make me happy, since he did so by making himself look bad again.  

「But!」

The man apparently wanted to protest in some way or another, but I have silenced his attempts simply by pressing my index finger against his lips. There were still things that I wanted to say to him, and I did not want to sit through him talking back at me this whole time.

「There are no ‘ifs’ and no ‘buts’, are we clear? For whatever I can say on that topic, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you and you are fine the way you are.」

 The man’s arms drop alongside his sides, and I remove my finger from his lips, embracing his face in my hands. And since his cheeks were rather cold, I would warm them up a little bit, so that we could be even on warming one another up. I gently stroke his cheeks and smile in a gentle way at him.

「And, above all else: does it really matter if some random spirits dislike you? Or maybe you care about their opinion more than you do about my opinion of you?」

Does this man not understand that for me he is perfect just the way he is? After I said that to him, that man blink about a couple of times as if not understanding the words I have spoken to him just now. Then I threw my arms around that man’s neck, and hugging him really close I buried my face in his strong arms.

 「…… I thought that after all this time it was nothing but obvious.」

 That man mumbled under his nose, his breath tickling my face. As I bury my face in the man’s chest even more, I think that the only way I can help that man is when he decides to say things clearly. While gently combing my hair with his fingers, the man continues to speak in a quiet and soft voice.

 「I guess that even though I want to take the blame onto myself sometimes, there are those who just won’t let me do that, huh?」 

「Fufufu, you took the words right out of my mouth.」

But even so, I want everyone else to know. I want the Princess to know how joyous it can be to be able to confide in another person. It might be arrogant of me, but that’s just the way I feel. After all, the Princess is an important, renowned, and ever slightly distant friend of mine.

I rub my face in the man’s chest and close my eyes. I could clearly hear the sound of that man’s heart beating. As I gradually lose myself in that strange comfort, it makes me realize that compared to the heat emanating from my cheeks, the cold of the desert at night is nothing at all.

 As I slowly doze off, I think it would be lovely for the Princess to be able to experience a feeling like that sometimes in the future.

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