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Volume 7 Chapter 3 Part 11

Translation by burnt.marshmallows
Editing by Team Foxsunes

That man’s words sounded as if he were mocking himself, rather than him asking for the Head Knight’s opinion. It was a question for himself, one that was embedded with a painful self-mockery, one so painful that it almost seemed to rip him in half. 

「That was also the reason I took that brat……Noct in. It wasn’t just because it was Filmina’s request. I wanted to test it out with that kid. The way to interact with a child, or the way to love a child or whatever you call it. 」

「Well I guess you wouldn’t take someone else into your home especially during this time if there wasn’t a proper reason.」

「Yeah. Although that wasn’t the only reason, that probably was the biggest reason for it. Filmina said that he was similar to me and she was right. That kid who’s hated by everyone around him, the child that will soon be born……and me myself. They all overlapped. As pitiable as it may sound. I wanted to think that I was capable of loving a child. I wanted to think that, if I were able to act like a father to that kid, who has been ostracized just like how I was because I’m a Pure Black Magic-User, then I’d be able to love my child no matter what they are like. 」

Standing behind me, Noct gasped softly. He looked like he was about to leave the water jug to me, turn around and run away. But I placed my hand on his and signaled to him without speaking.「Stay with me just for a little while more.」, Noct looked completely hesitant, but he still nodded. Agreeing on that, we continued to listen intently to the conversation in the reception room. 

「……So? What happened in the end?」

In response to the Head Knight’s question, that man laughed wryly. 

「Who knows? I don’t know. I don’t hate that kid. I probably do have a good feeling about him, Although it’s not like me at all. But I thought that, someday, when our child grows up, I’d be able to lead this kind of daily life. But I can’t tell whether the feelings I have for that kid is the love that one has for their child. The more I think about it, the more I don’t understand. Do I really love the child that is inside Filmina’s belly?」

Finally, that man let out a deep sigh and again covered his face with both his hands. The Head Knight who had been listening to that man talk silently, looked at that man for a while. After a while, he started scratching his head violently. He lay his body on the body in an exaggerated manner, and just when I thought he was going to sit back up straight, he let out a huge sigh, with a face that made him look like he was truly stunned from the bottom of his heart. Haaaaa.

「You’re really stupid for someone so smart, you know that?」

「……What are you saying?」

That man lifted both his hands away from his face. He knitted those good-looking eyebrows of his. Still drunk, those sunrise-colored eyes of his were swayed as he glared at the Head Knight. Accepting that sharp glare that sent even grown men running away without flinching, the Head Knight continued speaking calmly.  「Don’t glare at me like that.」

「You thought too much and just became stupid didn’t you?」

「What does that mean?」

In response to his low-pitched question, the Head Knight shrugged his shoulders.

「It means exactly what it means. Why are you asking whether you「can love」your child if you can think that much? That’s my question. Isn’t it already very remarkable that you’re doing the things that you wished were done for you?」

「R-really?」

「Of course. In the first place, children are, how do you say it, they’re raised how their parents want to while they panic throughout the process. At least, that’s what I learned at my parent’s home.」

Hearing the Head Knight’s words, I suddenly remembered, He was raised in the downtown area of the Royal Capital, and was born as a commoner. He was able to reach his current status because of the meritocratic system of this country’s Royal Knights. 

There were many rumors surrounding this man. And based on one of them, I had heard that he had many siblings, and that his parent’s house was very, very lively. Moreover, I had also heard that he was admired by many of the children in the downtown area as their hero, and he would be surrounded by tons of children whenever he returned to his parent’s home on his days off.

Ever since he became one of the heroes who saved the world by defeating the demon lord, it seemed that many couples had gone to him with their babies in their arms, telling him that they「wanted him to name their child」. I’m sure that he’d met many more of the things we call「children」than us. From that perspective, I felt that the Head Knight’s words were indeed very convincing

「There’s no way that love only comes in one form right? You……ah, was it Noct? There’s no way that the love that you feel for that kid and the love you feel for the child in Filmina’s belly could be the same. It just means that the shape of your love for each and every person is different. The fact that you think about those kind of things already means that the love that you feel towards that kid Noct, as well as your child, has already solidified within you right?……actually, stop making me say these embarrassing things!」

Ahーit’s so embarrassing! The Head Knight said as he wrapped his hands around his own body. But it seemed that that man could not be satisfied so easily with the Head Knight’s words. The Head Knight let out another stunned sigh as he watched that man brood silently. It probably had already become a reflex of his, but the Head Knight swiftly pointed his index finger at the man who was glaring at him.

「Right, so think about this! Agedilus. Do you……, ahー, um, what’s it called. Do you loved Filmina more than anyone in the world!?」

「Of course!」

What are you even asking after all this time? As if to ask that, that man answered immediately. Even though this man was like this, I had never heard him talk about how he felt about me to anyone else, so I could feel myself blushing, even though it wasn’t even that kind of situation. I-I never thought that he’d be asked about that in a situation like this. The effects of alcohol really are amazing. And also terrifying. 

It seemed that I wasn’t the only one who thought that. The Head Knight, the very person who asked the question, also whispered a「I-I, see」, as if overwhelmed. He then cleared his throat to regain his composure and looked at that man’s face again, laughing. This was the widely rumored, Head Knight-only smile that would make anyone who saw it think 「It’ll be alright as long as this person is here」.

「If you can say that so surely then I’m sure you’ll be fine. To be able to have a child with the person you love the most in the world is the best reward you can receive from the goddess. If you can’t trust yourself for not knowing the love of a parent, then just have faith in Filmina. You’ll be able to trust FIlmina right? Since I’m sure Filmina trusts you more than anyone else in the world.」

That man widened his eyes as he looked at the Head Knight who concluded like that. It was as if he had just been told something that he had never thought about before.

「……You, say some pretty decent things sometimes don’t you?」

The voice that finally started to slowly come out from that man was something that was truly completely unexpected. It was very rude. Naturally, the person who he was talking to, the Head Knight, thought so too, it seemed. He narrowed those dark brown eyes of his and he pouted his lips.

「Hey what does that mean?」

「It means what it means.」

「You really aren’t cute at all you know that?! Where did your meekness from just now go? I’m going to tell Filmina.」

「You’re so annoying!」As if that was written all over his face, the Head KNight glared at that man. But hearing that line, that man’s eyes sharpened more than the Head Knight’s/ 

「You can try to expose this to Fiilmina. But I’ll sew that annoying, uselessly chattery mouth of yours shut. 」

「Geh! Stop it! If you say it it doesn’t even sound like a joke……what, he fell asleep.」

Maybe he felt a lot better after getting to say what he wanted to. As the Head Knight said, without listening to the end of his sentence, that man had closed his eyes. No sooner than that, that man fell into a calm slumber. He didn’t even take three seconds. [1. TL Note: “Three seconds” is with reference to the ability of the main character, Nobita, from the anime Doraemon, to fall asleep in 3 seconds] Maybe that was just how tense he was. And the one who made him that tense was.

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