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Volume 7 Chapter 3 Part 3

Translation by burnt.marshmallows
Editing by Team Foxsunes

Breaking away from Noct’s arms, I stared into his face as he stayed sitting down. There, I saw his expression, as if on the verge of tears, and at the same time, perplexed.

「Why, aren’t you going to blame me?」

His voice matched his expression exactly. It was a voice that seemed like it was about to break into tears, a voice that most definitely sounded truly confused. It was a voice that made it sound as if it were natural for him to be blamed. It was as though I could hear a voice in the background saying: 「Even though it’s my fault.」. His words in turn perplexed me, and I couldn’t help but tilt my head. 

「Why do I have to blame you? Noct hasn’t done anything wrong at all. Instead, you should be scolding me, asking me something like “What is an expecting woman like you doing!!”.」

I shouldn’t have pushed myself, and asked for Noct’s help from the beginning. It was me who didn’t consider my own condition, and fell off the stepladder myself. I was the one who was completely in the wrong here. There was completely no reason that I should be blaming Noct. Yet, he shook his head without hesitation. 

「There’s no way I could do that. I’m just an unwanted monster child who causes disasters just by existing. 」

「……And, who was the one who said that?」

My voice naturally lowered. Causes disasters just by existing? That sounded similar to the sentiments held about Black Magic-Users on the Nibbiellata Isle that we visited in the summer. The thoughts that I had at the time popped into my head yet again. In other words, 「It’s not a joke」. For me at least, having Noct around was something I was happy about. Yet, Noct not noticing how I felt, continued to talk with his voice trembling. 

「Everyone. Everyone, everyone says that and alienates me. Only that person…… only mother…me…….」

I couldn’t help but want to look up at the ceiling as Noct was choking on his own words. Actually, I did look up. How terrible. It really made me realize again how this young boy really did resemble that man, even in parts where I wish he didn’t. As a Pure Black Magic-User, being an anomaly even amongst the Black Magic-Users, that man was feared by others and hated by them. And whenever anything happened to me, he would just blame himself, saying that it was his fault. It overlapped perfectly with how Noct was acting right now.

「ーHey, Noct」

As I called out his name softly, Noct slowly lifted up his face, that had been facing down without me realizing. I looked at his face and gave him a wide grin.

「You know, I really like you and how kind you are in being so considerate of me like this.」

Those yellow eyes of Noct’s widened. In those transparent-looking yellow eyes of his, I could see my own reflection.

That’s right. That’s exactly it. Having said it out loud for the first time, I finally realized. That’s it. I liked this young boy. It started with the fact that he was similar to that man. To me, that was enough reason to care about this young boy. And the more I got to know him, I also got to know that the reason that started this all was completely correct. This young boy really did resemble that man.

Maybe they were in similar circumstances? If someone asked me that, I would probably shake my head. It was true that they both came from circumstances that one would not call blessed. But I wouldn’t reach out to everyone just because of that. I didn’t reach out because I pitied him either. Doing something like that would be too rude towards both Noct and that man.

It wasn’t anything like that, Rather, it was that the state of their hearts felt very endearing to me. Clumsy, timid, and more than anything, kind. Those were the things that I came to love. That was why I wanted to reach out my hand to them. 

「………..Like?」

Noct regurgitated my words back with a lisp. I gave a wry smile in response as the tone of his voice as if he were saying a word from a foreign language, and then patted his head. I pretended not to notice how his eyes were wandering, as if from fear and continued to pat his head as I spoke. 

「Yes. And I’m sure it’s not just me. Suzette thinks so too. And although he’s not very honest, I’m sure Edi too, likes you very much. 」

If not, that man would never do anything like lend Noct his precious books, and give him thorough explanations. Of course, no matter what I say, that man would ever honestly admit that he regarded Noct positively. But, one thing’s for sure, was that no matter the degree, that man did like Noct. That was why. 

「That’s why, hey, Noct. No matter what other people say to you, don’t reject the Noct whom we all like very much. It’s very sad to see someone whom I like get rejected. 」

Noct didn’t respond to my words. I, too, didn’t wait for an answer. I just stood up by myself and extended a hand towards Noct. 

「Here, let’s have tea for real this time?」

Without rejecting the hand that I extended out, Noct placed his hand on mine, albeit fearfully. 

In the end, I found the tea set, not in the upper cabinet, but at the very back of the cabinet where it was usually placed. With the teapot in my left hand, and holding Noct’s hand in my right, we returned to the living room. Throughout that time, Noct didn’t say anything at all. He looked down deeply and did everything that I made him do. I had no way of seeing the expression on his face, and I didn’t think to look at his face either. 

Using the magic stone that was permanently placed in our living room, I summoned the water to boil. Moving in a way that my body had already been well-accustomed to, I added the tea leaves into the warmed teapot, and added the hot water. I covered the teapot with the tea cozy and turned the hourglass upside down. As I briskly brewed the tea, Noct raised his head at some point and stared straight at me. 

It probably wasn’t a rare sight or anything of that sort, but sometimes, Noct would look at very trivial things as if he were witnessing something very rare. Those were probably the moments when we could see that soft side of his that he liked to hide. It was because I knew that,  that I sat down on the sofa and patted the seat next to me, instead of avoiding his gaze. 

「Noct, how about you sit down too?」

Noct, who had stood frozen looking at me, took a gasp of air and quickly sat down beside me. At the same time, the sand stopped falling from the hourglass. I took the pot out of the tea cozy and poured the light-colored liquid into the cup. 

「Here, go on.」

On my pestering, Noct took a sip of the herbal tea and after a moment of pause, blinked repeatedly in surprise. After a while, his gaze softened. I couldn’t see because of his turban, but under that, his beast-like ears probably were plopped downwards. It seemed that it suited his tastes. 

I did well. I was proud of myself, having been continuously trained by that man. Hehe. I puffed up with pride as I brought the teacup to my mouth. Yes, delicious. In order for me to drink even while expecting, we blended this herbal tea after asking for Dr. Lindeburg’s input. But even so, it is said that one should drink too much of anything. I’ll stop at my second cup, I thought, as I nibbled one of the shortcakes that my wet nurse had prepared. 

After taking a short break, I gathered the tea set in the tray and glanced at Noct, who had finished the last bit of his shortbread. 

「Noct, shall we start soon?」

I didn’t say what exactly we were starting, but Noct discerningly picked up what I meant. Nodding deeply, he licked off the crumbs on his cheek and quickly stood up. Based on his attitude now, I couldn’t find a trace of the insecurity that he was showing just now. Maybe the mood-stabilizing effect of the herbal tea was working. 

「I’ll go take my notebook.」

「Yes, please do. I have something I need to take from a room too, so I’ll be going as well. 」

I stood up following Noct, and we exited the living room together. We split ways as Noct went to his room, which was the old guest room, and I headed for the library. The library was crammed narrowly with the massive number of books that that man had collected up until now, as well as the books that I had bought when I was living with the Adina household. I grabbed a certain book from a corner of the library, together with red and black ink and two quill pens, and headed for the living room. 

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