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Golden Butterfly – Part 03

“What? I got taller? I’m not sure. It’s hard to tell. Oh, by the way, Ruri…”

Kazuya tottered through the port, Ruri sticking close to him.

“Ruri,” their mother admonished softly. “Walk properly.”

Kazuya flushed, embarrassed by Ruri’s clinginess. “When I disembarked earlier, everyone seemed smaller. And come to think of it, my pants…” He glanced down at his feet.

Kazuya’s pants had become shorter. It should have been the perfect length when he left Sauville two and a half months ago.

He remembered the discomfort, like his bones were creaking, when he was sleeping on the ship. He couldn’t confirm without measuring himself, but he must have grown taller during the two-and-a-half months at sea. It dawned on him that when he left his country, he was about the same height as Ruri, and now he was looking down at her like one would a younger girl.

Despite their long-awaited reunion, Ruri seemed dispirited, staring up at Kazuya with an inscrutable expression, as though searching for someone who was long gone. She didn’t say a word. Kazuya, on the other hand, no longer felt the impulse to cling to his sister as before, nor the urge to have fun with her. It was difficult to gauge how much distance they should put between each other. As they walked side by side, they gradually ran out of words to say.

Not soon after, Ruri pointed in a direction, and Kazuya tensed, straightening his posture. There stood his father and brothers, radiating an unchanging sternness as before. His father donned traditional attire, while his brothers wore suits.

Noticing something off, Kazuya stepped back. He looked at his mother’s face, then Ruri’s. Neither said a word. He thought he was seeing things.

“When did I have one more brother?” he asked, perplexed.

“What are you talking about?” his mother asked curiously.

Ruri blinked. “What’s the matter?” She followed Kazuya’s gaze, and her breath caught. “Oh! That’s Mushanokouji. I don’t know why, but your brothers asked him to come along. He helped me and Mother get in front of the crowd earlier… Kazuya?”

“So it’s your fault.”

Ruri raised her small fist. “H-How is it my fault? He was their friend from school. He used to come over a lot. He’s um… He’s currently an imperial soldier.”

“Oh, another soldier…” Kazuya’s shoulders dropped, and his mother scolded him softly.

After a brief silence, Kazuya straightened himself and removed his bowler hat, placing it against his chest. He felt the hard ring underneath. He momentarily closed his eyes, as if in prayer. A genuine smile crossed his fatigued features, but as he slowly opened his eyes again, his smile, the gentle curve of his lips, his cheeks tinged with joy, all vanished, left behind in a distant nation across the sea—the Kingdom of Sauville, the little giant of the Old World, a land of mysteries, fairy tales, and rich history.

Kazuya looked at his father with a firm, yet somewhat vacant eyes. His father and brothers regarded him with a measuring gaze, alternating between expectation and resignation. Mushanokouji alone looked like he was studying something small and adorable. He was smiling broadly.

Finally, his father spoke up, “Welcome back. We’re aware of your excellent academic performance in Sauville through the embassy.”

“…Thank you.”

“It is truly a shame that you’ve had to return prematurely due to the shifting international climate, but I expect you to use what you’ve learned in that country for the nation’s betterment. Strive to be an outstanding individual who contributes to the prosperity of our country. Do you understand?”

“Y-Yes, sir!” Kazuya nodded, standing at attention with his gaze straight ahead.

Ruri studied Kazuya, her father, and brothers quizzically. There was concern in her eyes.

---

That night…

After an intense session of sumo wrestling with his brothers and Mushanokouji in the Kujou family’s garden, Kazuya regaled his family with his experiences in Sauville at the dining table.

The encounters he had in that nation and the events he experienced were all very thrilling, most of them things he couldn’t openly discuss. However, his father and brothers seemed uninterested in his personal anecdotes. Fulfilling their request, he talked about the state of affairs in Europe, Sauville’s development, and the people’s prejudice against the Far East. As he objectively recounted these subjects, it felt as though his cherished memories of the Kingdom of Sauville were slipping away from his heart, growing ever more distant.

“So, Kazuya. Do you think Sauville will join the war soon?” his father asked.

“Considering the current situation, I would say yes.”

“I see… and likely our nation as well.”

“Yes.”

The conversation about international affairs carried on, serving as a comforting distraction for a part of Kazuya’s mind. Although, it felt as though he hadn’t truly confided in anyone about what truly mattered.

---

Later…

Kazuya was silently repairing the shishi-odoshi they had accidentally broken during their wrestling session. He was hunched over, focused on his task, when a voice suddenly came from behind. He didn’t even hear any footsteps or sense any presence.

“You haven’t changed a bit, Kazuya,” Ruri said, a hint of loneliness in her voice.

“Um…”

“Hyah!”

With a cry, a warmth settled on his back. Kazuya blinked, surprised by Ruri’s weight.

Kazuya and Ruri had always shared a certain similarity in their bearing. Both possessed slim figures, and standing side by side, the aura they exuded marked them clearly as siblings.

In their younger years, Kazuya had been so small and shy that Mushanokouji mistook him for Ruri’s younger sister, but after returning from a year and a half of study abroad, he had grown taller and gained the physique of a young man. And while it might not be apparent when clothed, Ruri, too, seemed to be undergoing a swift transformation from an animated, skinny girl to a grown woman in both mind and body.

Kazuya’s face turned red. “You’re heavy!”

“I’m not heavy.”

“Have you put on weight?” he teased.

Puffing her cheeks like a child, Ruri dismounted from his back and settled beside Kazuya.

The sight of his beloved sister’s smile gave Kazuya an odd sense of comfort. He smiled back at her, and Ruri’s smile grew wider, relief on her features.

“It looked like Father and our brothers possessed you earlier,” Ruri said. “Looking all serious, sitting up straight and talking non-stop about the situation in Europe, some war out there, and how our country might join. Terrifying things. Both Mother and I were just stunned.”

Kazuya chuckled dryly.

“We wanted to ask you about other things. Like did you get to do any sightseeing? Was it a lovely country? What subjects did you study at school? Oh, did you make any friends?”

“I did. But…”

“Ah, what about that pretty girl? The one with long golden hair, beautiful green eyes, incredibly intelligent—the one you wrote about in your letters, the one you said you ‘loved.'”

“D-Did I really write all that?” Kazuya blushed.

Ruri chuckled. “The last part I gleaned from the contents of your letter.”

“She’s um…”

“What?”

“She’s my fr—”Kazuya paused, hesitating. Then, with a soft and awkward voice, he said, “She’s the one I love.”

“What?!” Ruri’s expression slowly shifted to a strange one.

“I-It’s not what you think!” Kazuya quickly explained. “She’s my age. Victorique is also fifteen. She’s just a bit shorter than most girls. She liked the yukata you gave her, by the way. Also the hina-arare. Victorique is…” Kazuya paused.

During dinner, he was discussing politics and culture enthusiastically, even engaging in spirited debates with his father and brothers, but when it came to expressing his genuine feelings, not a single word could escape his lips. It was as if he was under some kind of wicked spell.

Kazuya remained adrift in the darkness since then. Alone.

On that particular night, the final night of 1924, they listened to the New Year’s bell together. He held his beloved tight in his arms. Yet an odd, nagging sensation of having forgotten something important lingered as he returned to his dormitory.

And then abruptly, he was sent back to his home country, unable to do anything.

He spent the entire voyage, day in and day out, thinking about how he had left behind the girl he so cherished—almost bordering religious devotion—in the middle of an impending storm.

Kazuya couldn’t forgive himself. He cursed his weakness. His helplessness. His inability to do anything.

He didn’t want to conceal these feelings from Ruri, his beloved sister who had come to know about Victorique through their letters, but the words eluded him.

Several times, Kazuya opened his mouth to speak, but he was unable to. Ruri regarded him with a mix of astonishment and sorrow. Equally powerless, she could only watch her tormented brother.

A pale moon hung overhead. The broken shishi-odoshi lay strewn across the garden’s gravel. Ruri couldn’t help but wonder if Kazuya’s heart was shattering just like this. A dog howled in the distance.

Ruri gently wrapped Kazuya’s hand within her own in an awkward yet heartfelt gesture. They remained still for a long moment, until Kazuya was able to speak again.

As their mother walked down the outer corridor, her gaze fell upon the siblings. She tried calling for them, but stopped herself. With a pensive look, she leaned against a pillar, observing the two with a tinge of sadness before quietly retreating inside.

Suddenly, Kazuya crumpled like a fallen monster turning to dust and broke into tears. Clutching his head, he wept silently.

Ruri neither panicked nor cried. While she used to act like a spoiled sister, she now felt compelled to grow up all of a sudden. Her brother was sobbing in a manner she had never witnessed before. She placed a hand on his back and rubbed it gently. Like someone calming down a critter. An adult comforting a child.

Kazuya seemed to have lost his voice. He couldn’t utter a single word.

“It’s all right. Your big sister is right here.”

“Ruri…”

“I’ll always be here.”

“Ruri…”

“Kazuya.”

“One day… When I can talk about it, I will tell you. I just can’t do it right now. The pain is too much.”

“Okay…”

“I’ll tell you about my Victorique. How lovely and amazing she is. A golden fairy, one-of-a-kind. The things that happened between us. How I…”

“Okay.”

“How much I love her…”

Kazuya groaned, lying prostrate on the unyielding gravel. The moon gleamed.

“We’ll talk about it one day. I’ll be right here waiting,” Ruri said softly, rubbing her brother’s trembling back.

A mournful howl rose in the distance. The stars, like scattered fragments of the shimmering moon, shone softly on the Kujou family’s garden.