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Mean Frills and the Farting Newt – Part 02

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Translator: Kell

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“Wanna hear my deduction? The alchemist’s ghost still wanders the clock tower and is killing people. He doesn’t like strangers visiting the clock tower. That’s why—“

“So you’re dumb,” Victorique scoffed.

“Wh-What did you call me?!” Avril was seething.

“You’re Kujou’s friend, all right. Just the right amount of stupid. Be more logical. There is no such thing as ghosts. Wake up.”

“So the culprit’s not a ghost? In that case, maybe the alchemist is still alive like Kujou said. It’s been twenty years, and his body was never found. He’s been hiding somewhere in the clock tower, stealing our food.”

“The alchemist is long dead,” Victorique snorted.

She turned away and started rummaging through the bakery bag. She took the ham sandwich, but before she could bite into it, Avril snatched it away and stood up.

Victorique looked at Avril, astonished. She rose to her feet and reached for the sandwich. But no matter how much she stretched out her hand, she could not overcome the twenty-centimeter difference in their heights.

“Explain it,” Avril said smugly.

“K-Kujou wouldn’t do that.”

“Because Kujou is nice. But I’m not. Now spit it out!”

“You farting newt!”

“Leviathan the Alchemist was a real magician. I’m sure of it. He wore a mask and a robe to hide the fact that he’s been living for centuries. Anyone would be horrified if they saw an unaging body.”

Victorique’s eyes narrowed. “That’s impossible. You really are dumb.”

“Wh-Why you! Then why was he wearing a mask and a robe? If he had another reason, tell me. Come on.” She lowered the sandwich little by little.

Staring at the food, Victorique hesitantly said, “You’re right in that he was trying to hide his true identity.”

“I knew it. He was immortal—”

“He wasn’t. Let’s say you put on a mask, a robe and gloves. You wouldn’t be able to recognize yourself, would you?”

“No…”

Avril lowered the sandwich. Victorique took it, sat down on the grass, and munched on it. She chewed and swallowed.

“Listen closely, farting newt,” she continued. “Let’s say, for example, you want to hide your gender. A mask and robe would do just that.”

“So Leviathan was a woman?”

“You’re not too far off the mark. I’d say it’s much closer than your immortality theory.”

“A-A woman,” Avril mumbled, not entirely convinced. “I think the Leviathan in the Bible was female, but still…”

Victorique was happily gobbling up her sandwich. The bread passed through pearly teeth and disappeared rapidly inside her mouth.

Avril was deep in thought for a moment, her mouth hanging open, but eventually snapped back to reality.

“But what about that story where he turned a white rose into a blue one? A lot of people witnessed it. His real identity aside, this story really happened.”

“It was a trick,” Victorique said flatly.

Avril was silent for a while. Then, suddenly, she flared up. “That can’t be!” she shouted, hands on her hips.

Victorique jumped, startled by her loud voice. She turned her gaze to Avril, blinking repeatedly.

“What is it this time?”

“You’re wrong. It was magic. It was incredible, okay? Frilly witch!”

“Frilly witch? What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know! Just consider it an insult! How about that, huh?!”

Victorique stared blankly at Avril, then frowned. “Let me prove it to you, then.”

“…Prove what?”

“Go find me a white rose. I will do what he did in front of you. Then you can take all the time in the world to reflect on how stupid you were and die of shame. Get moving!”

Avril stomped her feet in frustration, but seconds later, she begrudgingly headed for the flowerbeds.

The sun grew more and more intense. The lawn was blinding.

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Avril found a white rose from among the many flowerbeds on the campus. She picked it, making sure that the gardener wasn’t around, and returned to the lawn.

Victorique had also gone somewhere, but she came back around the same time as Avril.

Victorique took the white rose from Avril and gripped it tight.

“Are you going to recite an incantation or something?” Avril asked.

“Be quiet, newt,” Victorique huffed.

“What?!”

Victorique, clutching the rose in one hand, began eating the rest of her sandwich with her other hand.

Munch, munch.

Swallow.

Munch, munch.

Swallow.

Munch, munch.

Avril watched the rose with bated breath.

A while later, the white rose gradually turned blue. Avril gasped. The change in color started from the base of the petals, and after a few minutes the white rose turned into a bright blue rose.

Avril gasped, bringing both hands over her mouth.

Victorique casually continued eating her sandwich.

“How did you do it?” Avril asked.

Victorique raised her head. “I’m a Gray Wolf,” she said offhandedly. “I can do a lot of things.”

“What?”

“I can fly, become invisible, and change the color of roses from white to blue.”

“…”

“That’s right. I’m a monster.”

“Won’t you tell me the truth?”

Victorique cocked her head and thought about it for a moment.

Then she shook her head. “No.”

“Why not?!”

“Because.”

“Y-You’re messing with me! You know I want to know, but you won’t tell me. Besides, I’ve never heard of such an ability before from Gray Wolves. They’re supposed to be smart strategists who could bring glory or peril to a country. They don’t fly, turn invisible, or change the color of roses. I know these things. So tell me the truth, mean frill!”

Avril had her firsts clenched for a bit, shaking, then out of nowhere, she lunged at Victorique, who was eating her sandwich nonchalantly.

“What are you doing, you barbarian?!”

“Yeah, that’s right. My ancestors were Vikings! That’s what my grandfather used to say!”

“Ow! You’re hurting me!”

Avril bit down on her slender arm, and Victorique’s tight grip on the rose loosened. She flailed about, letting out a mournful cry. The ruffles and laces of her dress danced in the air.

Avril grabbed Victorique’s wrist and looked into her palm. A piece of cotton soaked in blue ink rolled out. She picked it up and studied it carefully.

“What’s this?” she finally asked.

“…”

“I’m gonna bite you again!”

Victorique gave a jerk. “You let the stem suck in the ink,” she reluctantly said. “Then the white rose will be dyed the same color as the ink. It’s a simple trick.”

“Oh…”

Avril sank down on the grass, dejected. Victorique rubbed her arm sadly and slowly moved away from her.

Avril heaved a deep sigh. “A huge moment in Sauville’s history was actually that simple?”

“People readily believe the lies they want to believe. Back then, the king of Sauville needed wealth for the kingdom. The young and lonely queen was looking for a man with special powers to protect her. There were people who wanted to believe in the lie that was a mysterious and powerful alchemist. Had the royal family been satisfied with what they had, they would not have been fooled. That’s all there is to it.”

Clouds drifted across the sky, covering the sun a little. The sunlight grew softer, and the grass turned a little darker.

“It was all a trick,” Victorique continued in her husky voice. “Like the blue rose, his production of gold in his workshop, his disappearance after being riddled by poisoned arrows, all employed some sort of trickery. I’m certain of it. That’s what I’m trying to figure out.”

A red-haired man wearing a hat low passed by the pathway in the distance. Sensing a sinister atmosphere, Avril shuddered.

Victorique took out the poster she received from the red-haired man.

The Illusion of the Century! Wong Kai’s Great Magic!

Depicting a headless man and a beautiful woman floating in the air, the poster was for a large-scale magic show that had been extremely popular in Saubreme in the past few years.

“Leviathan was a magician who was born too early. If he were around today, he would probably be very popular. After all, he managed to deceive the king and queen and participated in the kingdom’s politics. No other magician has done what he did. In that sense, he was a splendid blockhead. He influenced history through his lies.” Victorique paused. “He must have lived a life that was anything but boring,” she muttered in a peculiar tone. “He was, after all, one of those people. But I doubt he ever knew peace.”

The wind blew again, and the clouds drifted away, revealing the sun. Dazzling sunlight returned to the lawn, illuminating Avril’s short, blonde hair as she hung her head low.

Avril sighed. She took off her leather shoes and white socks and rose to her feet.

Walking barefoot on the grass, she mumbled, “I see.”

Avril turned around and saw Victorique standing up as well. She walked toward the small stream and dunked her feet in the water, one at a time.

Clear, gentle-flowing water enveloped Avril’s pearly feet. Tiny fish swam around the gravel and aquatic plants.

“You’re amazing, Victorique,” she said, enjoying the coolness of the water. “I haven’t really thought about it before, but maybe I’m a little dumb. What do you think?”

There was no reply.

Avril lifted her pleated skirt and strolled along the stream. Her long, radiant legs glistened white in the summer sun.

“I mean, look at me,” she went on. “Since Kujou spends a lot of time with you, maybe he sees me as a dumb girl. What I’m trying to say is…” She fidgeted for a bit. “I know this sounds lame, b-but I’m gonna say it anyway. D-Don’t take Kujou away from me. Wait, nooooo! Forget I said that! Aaaah! I didn’t say anything… Huh? Victorique?”

Avril let go of her skirt and looked around.

She was alone. When she climbed out of the stream and surveyed her surroundings, she saw Victorique’s small, fluffy figure already trotting away in the distance.

“Sh-She didn’t hear what I said, did she?”

Avril’s head dropped. She sat down on the grass, throwing her wet legs out, and groaned. For a while she was crestfallen, but eventually she pulled herself together.

“Now I’m hungry!”

She picked up the bakery bag lying nearby. She took out a chicken sandwich and started eating heartily.

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Ms. Cecile, hidden among the flowers in a small flowerbed across the stream, was watching Avril closely.

She was sitting down, hugging her knees, cupping her ear toward the direction of the lawn. She was clearly eavesdropping.

“Wh-What was that just now?” she said, shocked. “I didn’t mean to listen to any of that, but wow!”

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