075 – Sales Quota
Editor: Thor’s Stone
I examined the result of my quest to design my own version of the『ultimate』super maidroid displayed on my portable terminal. It was the result of my overflowing passion and romance, and honestly did look quite impressive.
Her height was mostly the same as mine. I tried on several hair colors earlier, but I settled on black since that’s what I’m used to. I chose a straight, long hair style that went down until the waist. This sort of Yamato Nadeshiko-style straight, long hair was countless Japanese men’s romance. I bet maintaining it would be a pain though.
The breast size was just right. Not too big, but not too small either. If I were to describe them, they would be quite a bit bigger than Elma’s but a little smaller than Mimi’s. Her body shape was curvy in all the right places. She wore a Victorian era maid dress. A French maid style dress wouldn’t be so bad too, but since she had long, straight, jet-black hair, a Victorian style maid dress suits her better.
I had a hard time composing her facial features. I wasn’t that skilled in manual 3D modelling, so I ended up choosing from one of the preset faces and added on some optional parts from a very wide selection. That was difficult. I went back and forth between a motherly and cool look… and eventually ended up choosing the cool and serious one.
I had a hard time choosing her personality as well. It was doubly hard because you can freely choose personality traits. And I was worried about putting in too many personality traits and ruining her overall character appeal in the process. I mean, it’s a maid robot. You guys get it, right? Wouldn’t having a deadpan character be more suited to a maid robot? That was what kept going through my head earlier.
However, I’m pretty sure there were also maid robot characters that had plenty of personality traits crammed into them back on Earth. In fact, I can immediately come up with some of them off the top of my head. But in order for those maid robots to shine, there is a fundamental need for cool and deadpan maid robots as character comparison material. It’s the so-called ‘gap’ effect. It allowed for the diverse variations of maid character archetypes to bloom. I’m up for a debate on the topic by the way.
Anyway, I ended up setting the emotional expression value to the lowest it can go without making her seem too robotic. There are also affection and loyalty parameters, but I pretty much set those two to max value. Since they correspond to the maidroid’s love and loyalty to her master, we can’t have those lacking now, right? And so, I made a splendid kuudere.
What was left was her physical parameters, and I went with the high-spec ones since I was after the ultimate super maid anyway. I chose the most high-spec mini positron brain, a lightweight but durable inner frame, an outer frame that was made out of special material used in starship hulls, and artificial muscles made of synthetic alloy fibers that ensured a great balance of strength, agility, and endurance. Since the artificial muscles covered most of the inner frame, they also served as an additional layer of armor for said frame.
I crammed whatever program took my fancy. In addition to the basic and service programs, I added combat and defense, personal secretary, ship operator, and anything else that seemed remotely useful. She was literally a multi-talented super maid. I made it so she can confidently use the cliche catchphrase 『Because I’m a maid.』 without giving it any injustice.
Since it’s impossible to set any internal weaponry, it’ll be necessary to equip her with the most suitable weapons in each battle scenario she finds herself in. But overall, if equipped with the right weapons, she will be more powerful than your standard soldier wearing power armor. Heck, maybe she’s even more powerful than me when I’m wearing my heavily customized power armor.
And so, finally, after digging deep into the deepest abyss containing the pederast obsessions and overwhelming passion of a gaming otaku that is yours truly, I have created the perfect long, jet black haired, kuudere ultimate super maidroid – in data form, that is.
No guys. I ain’t gonna buy it. So stop begging. Cause this baby is packing more options than a gaming geek’s latest souped up overclocked PC rig, and it costs a whopping 470,000 Enels. It’s definitely way too expensive for something some people regarded as a toy, and I have no time to indulge myself with a maidroid. So I have no plans of ever buying one. Nope. No means no, so quit it.
“How wonderful. Do you have plans of working as a maidroid designer?”
While I was busy grinning in delight at my recently completed long, jet black haired, kuudere ultimate super maidroid, a voice suddenly called out to me. When I turned around, I found the spherical body of Miro’s terminal bobbing up and down right behind me. What the heck are you doing there!? Why are you suddenly blinking in multicolored lights like that? It’s just like when you’re accessing the network for online transactions, ain’t it? What’s that for?
“Okay, whatever it is you’re doing, just stop.”
“Forgive my impertinence. I just sent some data feedback just now.”
“What the heck are you trying to do? Sending a data transmission at this timing is just giving bad vibes though. Seriously, what are you up to?”
“You can read the user agreement of the application you’re using right now in order to find out the particulars. But, in any case, I shall explain for your convenience. The user data of that particular application gets sent back to the application providers as part of customer feedback and a way to enhance customer experience by referencing customer preferences from the data collected. That data, is in turn, sent to the partner company, and the partner company has rights to use said data as they see fit.”
“You’re just arbitrarily using data without getting consent!?”
Note to myself: Never, ever forget to read the fine print before trying out any product!
“But really, what are you gonna use my data for? That super high-spec maidroid is gonna cost a ton of Enel to develop and manufacture y’know.”
Well, it’s not like they can’t build one, but I’m almost sure they won’t. I mean, I made it as over the top as possible after all. They won’t, right? I sure as hell hope not. I mean, their mass driver system is already over the top, so there’s no telling if they’re actually crazy enough to build that over-the-top design.
“I’m telling you right now. Even if you make one, I’m definitely not gonna buy it, okay. And it’s not sure if the design will actually sell well either. You can’t possibly manufacture one under such uncertain circumstances, so I do hope you won’t strongarm me into buying the finished product later on. You won’t, right?”
“Of course not. The cost of manufacturing this design is much too expensive for a prototype to get approved anyway.”
“However, the outer appearance is at least perfectly reproducible, and as for the positron brain, if I allocate a part of my calculation units, we can at least achieve a similar performance to your design to a certain extent.”
“Okay, stop. Just stop, idiot!”
“Do not worry. This is all just a part of the data collection process. And, if in the end, you turn out satisfied with the product, I do hope you’ll consider buying a completed full-spec product. We can then collect further data about your customer experience while using the product, allowing us to improve future models even more.”
“Why the heck are you so insistent in selling me a maidroid so much!”
“Because I have a sales quota to reach.”
“I’m sorry, but what the heck!?”
“Captain Hiro will obtain your ideal maidroid. The partner company will make lots of money from the sales of future models based on your design. And I will be able to reach my sales quota and get a big, fat bonus. It’s the ultimate win-win-win situation for all parties involved, don’t you agree?”
Miro’s spherical terminal started blinking in multicolored light again. No, I can’t let myself get sweet talked into the deal. And just what kind of bonus can an AI get anyway?
“And my entire reason for existence is to meet the needs of our customers to the best of my abilities.”
“If you’re doing this with that premise in mind, then please just stop.”
“Even if you say that, deep down, you’re actually excited by the prospect, aren’t you?”
Even if she can’t have all the specs I crammed into her using that app, to have the maidroid I personally designed appear in front of me would be…… Aaaargh! Of course I’m gonna get excited! Dammit! That’s cause I’m a hot blooded male!!!
“This deal is completed then.”
After arbitrarily saying that on its own without letting me get a response in, Miro’s spherical terminal floated away at the fastest I’ve seen it go ever since we arrived here. Should I have made more of an effort to refuse? Ugh. It would be pretty much useless anyway huh. I’m sure the data has already been transmitted to the main positron mega brain that supervises this whole resort planet.
Hm. Elma probably won’t say anything overly harsh, but it seems that Mimi has something against maidroids. Did something happen to her in the past involving maidroids? I’ll ask her about it later. I’m also not sure how society in this dimension deals with a maidroid that has human intelligence and emotions. Do human rights apply to them as well? Or do they have something like android rights?
While I was busy thinking to myself, I heard another voice cry out loudly behind me. What’s with today? I’ve been surprised by someone I didn’t notice was there calling out from behind me twice.
“Uh, nothing. I was just surprised.”
Mimi ended up surprised by my reaction as well, so I tried to play it off. Beside Mimi, Elma was giving me an exasperated look, and Chris had a surprised expression on her face, just like Mimi.
“Why are you all jittery when all Mimi did was call out to you from behind…? Did you do something shady while we weren’t looking?”
Elma gave me an accusing stare. Hahaha, as expected of Elma. You’re absolutely right! It won’t turn out well if I lied about it here, so I’ll just confess honestly. I told them all about me fiddling with the Orient Corporation app to try and design a custom maidroid to kill time, and how Miro discovered my work and ended up sending the data to the company without me noticing. I then told them about how Miro would use that data to produce a product that it will sell back to me later on…… In other words, I confessed all my sins.
As I went about confessing, Mimi’s expression gradually clouded over in displeasure. This is the first time I’ve seen Mimi make such an expression. Elma, on the other hand… was giving me a lukewarm gaze. Please don’t stare at me with such eyes. It hurts. And Chris didn’t seem to be bothered all that much. Mimi’s reaction was the most pronounced of the three. I’m honestly a bit confused by it.
“Why are you making that kind of face, Mimi?”
“Maidroids are no good.”
“They’re no good!”
I sought Elma for help in pacifying the agitated Mimi, but she just gave me a side eye. C’mon on, Elma. But based on Chris’ reaction earlier, it’s not like the existence of maidroids is particularly frowned upon by society in general.
“Why do you hate maidroids so much, Mimi?”
“I…… don’t particularly hate them.”
Mimi’s forehead was wrinkled in frustration as she answered. Her words and reactions aren’t matching up.
“Anyway, let’s get back to the lodge first. We can talk about this more later, okay?”
“Mm, that would be for the best.”
I agreed with Elma and stood up from the bench, and all of us walked back to the lodge. There’s a lot of greenery once you leave the shopping area. The entire shopping area was properly paved, but the areas surrounding it were made to let visitors feel a sense of oneness with nature. The flora looked all natural at first glance, but I’m sure these surroundings have been artificially induced to be more visually appealing.
“Um, so, do you have any bad experiences involving maidroids, Mimi?”
I asked Mimi again while we were in the middle of walking. She kept quiet for a while, but eventually started talking about her experience.
“I was actually dating a boy I got along with during my time in school.”
So, it was during Mimi’s time in school huh. Well, it’s not so surprising for students to date each other while in school anyway.
“We really got along pretty well as a couple, but eventually, we started drifting apart…… It felt like he just lost interest in girls all of a sudden.”
“I kinda see where this is going now.”
In other words, the boy’s household purchased a maidroid one day, and as a result, the boy got increasingly engrossed with said maidroid and lost interest in biological girls in the process.
“It’s just like what you’ve said. The boy’s parents purchased a maidroid, and that boy got completely taken by it. So, he ended up dumping me……”
Mimi glanced at me pleadingly after saying her piece. She must be worried I’ll end up just like her ex when the maidroid arrives, huh. I don’t think she needs to worry about that though. I have her and Elma after all.
“It will probably be fine, Mimi. He might lay his hands on it, but I’m sure he won’t get too addicted to it just like that boy.”
“You’re talking like you’re sure I’m gonna lay my hand on an android huh.”
“Well, you do have the record of laying your hands on me and Mimi after all.”
She has solid evidence backing up her claim. I cannot argue back. Chris’ face blushed bright red after hearing us talk about such a topic. Sorry. We’re not being upstanding role models, aren’t we?
“Anyway, Hiro’s always taken good care of us all this time. He always makes sure to give us our share of the rewards, and he treats us fairly as crew mates. I do understand where you’re coming from Mimi, but have a little more faith in Hiro, okay?”
Elma gently rubbed Mimi’s back while consoling her. Mimi turned silent after hearing Elma’s words. You really don’t have to worry y’know. Yep.
I also felt a bit embarrassed after hearing Elma’s words. I didn’t really think about how I treated the two of them all that much as we spent time together, but I’m kinda glad Elma feels the way she feels. It’s gratifying and flattering in a sense.
“And unlike a maidroid, we’ll be able to bear children with him. In fact, I think it’s a good thing he bought one as early as now so we can get used to having it around sooner and build up more trust between us and him.”
I quickly turned around and stared at Elma hard.
“I’m practicing contraception properly, so you don’t have to be so tense. But we can’t be sure about what’ll happen in the future, right?”
Elma looked at me straight in the face with a serious expression as she said so.
“R-Right. You’re absolutely correct.”
Elma still seemed like she had somewhere to return to just in case, but I’ll have to take proper responsibility for Mimi now that we’ve progressed this much in our relationship. Uh, it’s not like I’m saying I won’t take responsibility for Elma as well, okay.
But I still need some more time to prepare myself for such responsibilities, and, uh…… Damn, I sound like a real loser huh? But even so, I think we’ll just need a bit more time in order for all of us to get to know each other even more before thinking about that kind of stuff. Yep. I’ll try to prepare properly anyway, so please give me a break ladies.
“You don’t have to think about it so much for now Hiro-sama, but try to at least keep it in mind somehow, okay?”
“That’s right. Actually, I think it’s quite possible this guy would end up taking one or two more partners aside from us in the future.”
“I shall have to do my best then.”
I mulled over the discussion that transpired as we continued walking. I think I heard an incredibly dangerous topic being discussed by Elma and Chris as well. Let’s just treat it like I haven’t heard anything. I heard nothing, okay!
We should really hurry back to the lodge now. I think the carbonated drinks I ordered should have already arrived by now. I’m looking forward to tasting them!