I Would Rather Die Than Kiss You – Part 02
Like always, I got to school early. I didn’t feel like I’d gotten any sleep, probably because my head was still spinning after blacking out. I blamed Sera’s cooking for that.
Usually the first to walk in would be some guy, but this time…
“Aikawa, you always come this early?”
“Tomonori?”
It was that boyish Vampire Ninja. Isn’t your class next door?
“Don’t call me Tomonori!”
“Then quit calling yourself my wife. I’m never settling for it.”
“It’s already been decided. I am your wife, so deal with it.”
Tomonori stood there with her hands on her hips, eyes sharp.
“So what, should I call you Yuki?”
“Just straight to my first name, huh? Well, whatever.”
“Yuki it is, then. So, what’re you doing here at this hour? It’s too early for morning practice.”
“I… wanted to sync up with your schedule.”
“You actually studied my routine?”
“I only get to see you here, so if I wanna spend even a little more time with you, I had no other choice.”
“You really don’t need to try that hard.”
“I will become the perfect wife! I’ve already made my decision.” She sounded as stubborn as a Magiclad Girl.
Tomonori took the seat in front of me. She let out a sigh, then instantly brightened up. Man, she switches gears fast.
“So, how’d your exams go?” she asked. “I totally blew it. Probably getting stuck in remedial. And I’ve got club too.”
“I aced it.”
“For real?! Are you an honor student or something?”
Her eyes lit up. When she whispered, “So cool,” I looked away, hiding my embarrassment.
“I just studied like hell.”
“I tried to study, but then I started doodling and ran out of time.”
We both laughed. I used to end up just drawing during study time too.
“So, hey. You’re supposed to be enemies with Sera, right? Why’d you help us?”
“Conservatives and reformists are just fighting over who gets to be the successor. Back in the day, sure, we literally tried to kill each other. But personally, I think of them as comrades.”
“That sounds like you. Oh yeah, what about that machine of yours? Still broken?”
“Yeah, it’s such a pain. I even suggested we just hook it up to a hose and blast the stuff everywhere.”
“That’d be a nightmare. And what about the rumors someone’s trying to destroy it?”
“You mean the agent? We’re looking into that too, but there’s almost no info. If we even knew their name, we could find ‘em easy.”
“Wow. Impressive.”
“Right?” Tomonori smiled like a sunflower in full bloom. “By the way, did you hear a new convenience store opened by the station?”
“Come on, who do you think you’re talking to?”
“You’re a convenience store enthusiast, all right.”
She knew that too, huh? Maybe she was one of those people who made fun of convenience store enjoyers.
“Got a problem with that?” I muttered.
“No. I’m actually one myself.”
Tomonori, you legend. We sealed it with a firm handshake. I wished we’d met as friends instead of whatever this wife thing was.
Actually, forget the wife label. That didn’t matter. What mattered was getting along as friends. She seemed to feel the same way.
The whole married couple thing was just annoying anyway, and as long as she didn’t start talking about staying at my place like those other girls, this arrangement might not be so bad.
If this were Orito, I probably would’ve just ignored him and gone to sleep. But with Tomonori throwing out fun topics left and right, the conversation didn’t feel tiring at all.
Maybe it helped that no one else was around… or so I thought, until more students started trickling in. Even then, we kept talking.
By the time Orito showed up, the classroom had already filled with the usual morning chatter.
“All right, guess I’ll head back. I’ll swing by again during lunch. See ya.”
As Tomonori raised one hand and walked out, Orito appeared in front of my desk. I immediately slumped down, face-first onto the table.
“Hey, Aikawa! Are you seriously going out with Tomonori or what? Hey!”
Good night, Lord Orito.
“Hey! Aikawa! Aikawaaa!”
I slept straight through until lunch break.
All I could think about was what I should talk to Tomonori about next.
When lunch break rolled around, Tomonori showed up like she said. I opened the lunch box I got from Haruna, and Orito laid his out as well.
Today’s menu was rolled omelet. Ah, the ultimate omelet. It tasted great, but the portion was a little too much.
Tomonori burst out laughing when she saw what was in mine. “Ahaha! Just rolled omelet? That’s crazy! Here, this one’s yours.” She handed me a lunch box.
“Oh? What about your lunch?” Orito asked.
Tomonori puffed out her chest proudly. “I don’t get hungry!” she snorted.
Orito’s eyes glinted, flashing that annoying look that said he knew everything. “Aikawa, tell her she doesn’t need to go on a diet.”
“A-Are you stupid? I’m not on a diet!” Tomonori gave his spiky head a couple of light smacks.
“You heard her.” I opened her lunch and picked out a piece of shrimp in chili sauce.
A strange tension shot through me. I gulped.
“Wh-What’s wrong? I thought you said you loved shrimp.” Tomonori looked puzzled as I stared down the shrimp, frozen.
“Oh, that part’s fine.”
What I really feared was whether a Vampire Ninja’s cooking was hazardous in general, or it was only Sera’s cooking that was catastrophically hazardous. If it was the former, then the moment I ate this, there was a good chance I’d end up in the nurse’s office, or worse, the emergency room.
Should I make Orito try it first? No, I didn’t want casualties.
Tomonori looked at me worriedly. That only made me feel guilty, so I took a deep breath.
Screw it. Here goes nothing!
It was a little spicy, but actually decent. The fried chicken that followed was okay too. Unlike Haruna’s, this one actually came with rice.
In short, normal! That confirmed it. Sera’s cooking was on a whole other level of danger.
Grooowl.
Hmm?
“What’s that sound?”
Orito and I both tilted our heads at the same time.
“No idea,” Tomonori shrugged.
Another growl. It was coming from her.
“You’re hungry.”
“Sh-Shut up! I told you I’m not!” Her face flushed red as she desperately denied it. But her stomach kept growling.
“Here, eat this.” I handed her a bite of Haruna’s ultimate rolled omelet.
“I’m serious! My body just doesn’t get hungry, okay?!”
Tomonori kept protesting, but I pushed the food at her, and she reluctantly took a bite.
“What the heck?! This is amazing!” She was stunned by how good it was. “You made this?”
“Haruna did.”
Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. She might get jealous. But Tomonori, wearing the innocent look of a child, just lit up.
“Wow! How do you even make something this good?”
Apparently, jealousy wasn’t in her vocabulary. She could just appreciate something great for what it was.
“Can I call her Master?” Tomonori asked.
“Why are you asking me for permission?”
“Can I have more?”
“Sure. As you can see, there’s plenty.”
“Score! Wait right here!”
She held both hands up, bolted out of the classroom with a sprinter’s dash, and came back in seconds.
In her hands was… a weird bag. It contained mayonnaise, all kinds of dressings, sesame oil, salad oil, chili oil, olive oil… nothing but oil.
“What the hell is that?”
“Time to dig in!”
Grinning from ear to ear, Tomonori dumped dressing all over the Aikawa family’s ultimate rolled omelet.
“You idiot! What are you doing?!” Orito yelled.
He hadn’t gotten his share yet. His chair scraped loudly as he rose, eyes fixed on the omelet with a tragic expression.
“Tomonori, you can’t put dressing on rolled omelet,” he said gravely. “It’s just not right.”
I felt like someone had squeezed lemon juice on my fried chicken without asking. I slugged Tomonori.
“Ow! Come on, sesame dressing’s fine! I’d never use that no-oil crap!”
“Nobody cares about your damn dressing preferences!”
Orito and Tomonori glared at each other.
While they argued, I took the opportunity to steal a bite from Orito’s lunch.
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