Return of the Fallen Volume 10 Chapter 116
Kazuki, now equipped with a ring instead of a complex box, flew near the speed of light as he and Arc went from star to star.
Since these stars held Origin energy at the very center of them, Kazuki planned to let Arc absorb as much as it could in order to trace the souls of the fallen. Kazuki of course made sure to choose stars that had no life around them. He could easily pick them out because he still had the map that Detra made him. She had given it to him so he wouldn’t devour worlds that had life but now he was using it for a different purpose.
Coming upon another star, Kazuki listened to Arc and placed the Cosmic crystals around the star in very specific spots so as to properly deal with the spikes of energy. Very quickly a large portion of the star’s energy was stored directly into the Cosmic crystals and once more Arc was able to take in the Origin energy from the core and fuse it with its own.
With the Origin energy taken care of, the stars no longer exploded or imploded. Kazuki would simply store the remaining energy in his Cosmic crystals until there was nothing left.
(That’s another one down. How many before you have enough energy to track granny master?)
Arc went quiet for a moment before giving a general estimate.
(Maybe a hundred, two hundred thousand. It’s hard to say.)
Kazuki was taken aback.
(So many! That’s a shit ton no?)
Arc buzzed with sparks of electricity on Kazuki’s thumb but Kazuki barely felt anything.
(Not really. The amount of Origin energy contained within these stars is a fraction of what I used to hold. To look into the past and see what others cannot, it requires an astronomical amount of energy. To then track a soul directly to one Realm is already difficult in my current form but to do it when the Realms have moved since then only adds to the burden. When a Realm moves, it doesn’t simply move a few feet here or there. Instead, it can move all the way across the known universe. If it’s moved since then and moved, again and again, the required energy increases by leaps and bounds. This is not something just any can do.)
Kazuki remembered when Kimi had wished to go back home to Earth and Glacious mentioned finding Earth was basically impossible for anyone except for a God.
(At that time those words were already devastating for Kimi and the others but we didn’t know the half of it. Later on, I found out that the Realms move all over, and even for a God, it’s impossible for them to just find a specific Realm. Only if they have an item or tool left in that Realm and that item holds a bit of their energy or the energy of someone they are familiar with can they locate it and if it’s not their own energy it becomes increasingly difficult. Arc though, you can do this seemingly impossible task with Origin energy. Incredible. Not only that, after absorbing a little of this energy, your sentences are no longer broken and I can understand you clearly now.)
Kazuki was amazed by not only Arc but by Origin energy as well. It was a power that even he could not handle and was too mysterious and yet Arc an artifact could do it. He was becoming more and more interested in not only Origin energy but Arc’s origin as well.
(Origin energy contains power, knowledge, the natural laws, and even memories. It is the beginning and it is the end.)
(The beginning and the end. Memories, whose memories?)
Arc went quiet and didn’t answer.
(It seems you have your own circumstances. If you can’t answer fine.)
Arc spun around Kazuki’s thumb.
(It’s not that. I just don’t know myself who are what these memories are. They come and go as they please but I can’t identify them. Maybe the Origin energy I absorb had its own memory and that’s something I take in when I absorb it but I can’t say for sure because I honestly don’t understand it myself.)
Kazuki felt bad for Arc. Not knowing or understanding something that is a part of you could be considered terrifying.
(Thinking about it now, you must have felt imprisoned all this while.)
(Yes. Although I can choose who my master is now. At the time I had little power and could mostly only be used. Even if I tried to resist, my will and thoughts were scattered. I was in a situation similar to Zephris when he was stuck in that Miasma phase, except I was always aware. I could not move, my mind was stuck in a dark fog but I understood I was nothing more than a tool to those who controlled me. To not have control over your own body and having others use you and you can’t even resist…It was a different kind of torture, to say the least.)
Kazuki didn’t know what to say to that and he began to feel bad about wanting to use Arc for his own purposes but it was as if Arc knew what he was thinking and spoke.
(Kazuki you aren’t using me. I am helping you and you too will help me. I will find the souls you wish and in return, you will help me find what I have lost. You will help me find my own missing piece.)
Kazuki nodded.
(That’s true. I don’t get it though. If you can use your power to track souls, then can you not use your power and seek out your own starting point. Surely you’d be able to track where this so-called missing piece of your is, right?)
Arc spun slowly around Kazuki’s thumb in a pitiful manner.
(No. When I first came into sentience and thoughts flowed through me. I concluded that I was missing some vital piece as I had no memories before I was missing this piece. I decided right then and there to use my power to find this missing piece but I could not. I can use my power to look into the past of anyone I come into contact with but when it comes to myself, when I try and look back, I see absolutely nothing.)
(Nothing?)
(Yes. No darkness, no light, no memories or senses, no shapes or voids of any kind, it really is just nothing. The closest thing to it is in fact the word nothing. Beyond that description, I haven’t the thoughts nor words to put what it is exactly together.)
(To have no memories of before, that’s…)
Arc spun around Kazuki’s thumb as if it were nodding.
(To not know who or what you are, to not know why you exist, you and I have many similarities. Though you now know where you come from you didn’t before and even now you still do not know the reason for your own existence. I used to find an endless horror in that thought but now I am more or less numb to it. I take comfort in knowing that you and I share some of that. After that thought though you and I diverge. I believe I will come to understand the truth and reason for my existence once I find my missing piece. You on the other hand don’t know if you exist solely for revenge or love or a myriad of other things. I can tell you for sure it definitely isn’t for revenge.)
(And what makes you think that?)
Arc glowed with purple light before displaying Kazuki’s past directly in front of him.
It showed Kazuki the very moment he crushed Fera’s head into tiny pieces and also simultaneously showed the moment he destroyed her soul in the Higher Realm right in front of Orberus, Sephra, and some relatives.
(When you killed Fera you felt little to nothing. When you destroyed her soul you did get some semblance of joy and it was as if a burden had been removed but only a few moments later you appeared to be feeling not much of anything. You might argue that this is because you didn’t kill Sephra the main perpetrator but I think it’s actually because you feel that death was too light of a sentence. To simply kill means they are gone and that’s it. You probably believe that that is unfair and not satisfying in many ways. You wanted Fera to suffer to be tortured for her actions and crimes and to feel even a fraction of what you felt before she died and you wish for the same for Sephra but this cannot happen. You know there is a line that you cannot cross or rather you can cross it but you know that once you do there is no coming back from it. Torturing, making them suffer for years just as you suffered, would that not make you just as big as a monster as they?)
Kazuki felt some rage welling up within.
(Why would that make me a monster. If I did it back to them it’s because they deserve it, right?)
The light from Arc dimmed.
(I don’t know…I’ve existed for too many years to count. I have seen more bloodshed than you could ever know. I’ve witnessed the cruelties of many creatures. Many people deserve death and those that get it should get it without delay. Keeping someone alive for the sole purpose of making them suffer, is that not what a demon would do?)
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