2020 April Fool’s Special
「I-I can’t take anymore. My hips are giving out……」
An exhausted Nonna collapses on the bed.
Next to her, Carla lays face-up with her hips twitching, while Mel slides to the floor still hanging on to the sheets.
It’s nice doing it with these three who I’m the most familiar with.
「What year is it again?」
I mutter.
I’ve totally forgotten the date.
Maybe I ejaculated my sense of time inside the girls along with my seed.
「It’s Year ――. The reason Aegir-sama has free time is because of all the screwups you did, causing everyone to apply silent pressure on you to stay in the mansion.」
I remember.
I am the feudal lord of Rafen.
Yesterday I tried to make Anastasia drink and Nonna scolded me severely.
That same Anastasia and Bartolome are peeking at me from a gap in the door.
If I point it out, Nonna will make a fuss so I won’t mention it.
Seeing the languid Nonna fires up my sexual desires again.
I think I’ll do it with her in a ridiculous position to also give the peeping toms proper sex education.
I lift Nonna’s slender legs and just when I’m about to cross them, someone knocks timidly on the door.
「Master, Madam……I know it’s late at night, but……sniff……pardon the intrusion.」
Entering the room are two girls with cloth wrapped around their face, who judging by their familiar voices, are Sally and Maruru, Nonna’s attending maids.
Marching into their master’s bedroom during a sexual liaison is obviously an act they normally don’t even consider.
Nonna instinctively gets up to yell at them, but realizes the situation is abnormal from the sobbing mixed with their words.
「What happened? Come here.」
I beckon them as I approach the two carrying a lantern and remove the cloth clearly hiding something.
Nonna, Carla, and Mel scream, and I also take a step back.
「What happened to your faces?」
They attempt to cover their face with their hands, but the abnormality is too big to hide.
「Aah, how did this happen……」
Sally is a distinctly dignified beauty.
Her well-defined face hasn’t changed, but there is one anomaly……that is enough to make everybody shriek.
「Your eyes are huge.」
Sally’s slanted eyes have a pretty shape, however they are enlarged.
Telling a girl her eyes are big can be considered a compliment, but there is a limit to what size is good-looking, Sally’s eyeballs are big as my fist.
It feels like both eyes fill up the width of her face.
Large teardrops spill from Sally’s eyes as she begins to cry and even the blinking of her eyes makes a sound.
「And as for you, your nose is big.」
The gentle and plump Maruru’s anomaly is her nose.
Saying a girl’s nose is big can be praise, but there is also a limit to how big of a nose is pretty, as hers is easily jutting out 50 cm from her face.
「I can’t live like this……」
Large eyes and an enlarged nose, if the difference was small, their beauty might have been enhanced, however this much of a deformity makes them look almost like youkai.
「Tell me any clues you think might have caused this.」
Nonna, who has the bedsheets over her shoulders, hugs the two girls.
It can’t be helped that she is looking away from their faces. I’m also slightly scared.
It was hard to summarize the points from the story they told while crying, but――
『They went to the city to play during their vacation.』
『They entered a mysterious house they got curious about.』
『They heard a weird voice, and when they replied, the parts on their face grew larger.』
That’s what they said happened.
The two panicked, returned to their rooms, and passed out until night when they looked in the mirror, which leads us to where we are now.
「It could be a curse or magic, but I can’t really say unless I go check out that place.」
「Uuu, my eyes feel dry whenever I open them. Dust blows in them too.」
「I bumped into things so many times on the way here, giving me a nosebleed.」
Sounds inconvenient.
I better resolve this quickly.
***
The next morning, we venture to the city and find the house in question.
Other than it being dilapidated, there isn’t anything out of the ordinary……or so I want to say.
In the first place, all of Rafen’s houses have been built recently, meaning there shouldn’t be any houses that are worn out due to age, plus Adolph’s city plans show this area as an open space.
Rafen’s city has been completed and the citizens won’t construct a house of their own accord.
I can declare with confidence that the very existence of this house is abnormal.
「Let’s see who here is reliable.」
I look at the members of my exploration party.
「The one who always comes along no matter where I go, Celia.」
「Right!」
Celia adjusts the straps of her bulging backpack and answers enthusiastically.
She knows we’re going to be investigating the ruins of a building and not a suspicious cave, right?
「Someone strong yet sexy, Sekrit.」
「Mm.」
Contrasting Celia, she is almost entirely empty-handed.
She only has a replacement for her prosthetic arm and a few bottles of oil in her leg pocket.
I left Irijina, who is similarly a valuable asset, behind.
Because if there is a suspicious device inside, she will surely step on it.
「And……Nonna. Are you sure you’ll be fine?」
「Absolutely not. Make sure you properly and completely protect me.」
Nonna was repeatedly asked to stay behind, but she came in the end.
She wouldn’t yield the responsibility of looking after her maid, saying it is the duty of the master, and I was so pleased that she cares this much about her servant that I gave in instead.
Nonna parks herself next to me, intimidating Celia and Sekrit with her boobs.
Considering her fighting ability, that’s really the only place she can be.
「And then we have the self-running shield, Christoph.」
「I won’t get upset if I don’t consider him an asset.」
「How mean!」
I brought Christoph along as I saw him sleeping at the bar.
Of course, he is unarmed and is holding only a bottle of alcohol, but his pointlessly muscular body will function sufficiently as a shield.
「That’s everybody.」
As I’m about to step into the house, a rugged hand grabs my shoulder.
「Aren’t you forgetting about me, friend?」
「I’m not going to count someone I didn’t invite.」
Gildress is here on his own terms.
I have endless questions, like why is he here even though he’s a king, how he conveniently found us, and why he’s wearing only a cape and a pair of underwear, but I feel like I’ll lose if I ask, so I choose to ignore it.
「We’re going.」
I push open the deteriorating door.
No traps are activated and the door simply swings inward with a creak.
「You go in first.」
「Wah! Don’t!」
Celia shoves Christoph forward, but no spikes come out, no arrows shoot at him, and he doesn’t get set ablaze.
Next, I walk in while protecting Nonna behind me.
As I guessed from the exterior, the house is rather big, and aside from the interior also being old, nothing seems particularly strange.
「It looks like an empty house to me.」
Sekrit enters the house with both hands behind her head, though her sharp eyes are scanning the place.
Gildress also enters casually.
「It’s simply a run-down house. There’s nothing to explore, we’ll be in and out in no time.」
Celia stares sadly at the gear stuffed inside her backpack.
「I guess we’re done here. Their anomalies must be due to something else……」
Something kicks me in the heel.
「I’m not so sure about that.」
Sekrit points at the entrance……or more precisely, the spot which used to be the entrance.
There is nothing resembling a door in the place where we entered.
「T-the exit……」
Celia looks around to no avail.
I try to kick the wall, but the supposedly decaying surface is as hard as rock.
「We’re trapped?」
「Maybe we’re supposed to advance this way.」
Gildress points in the opposite direction of the door.
What used to be a furnace has become the entrance of a large corridor of a palace.
The way is blurred by haze so I can’t see the end of the corridor.
「That’s the only way we can go. Nonna.」
「Right.」
Nonna sticks close to my back.
「Ah, not fair.」
I stop Celia from doing the same thing.
「Celia, stay next to me a short distance apart. We don’t know what may appear, be on your guard.」
A pouting Celia, with her cheeks puffed, expands the search net.
Sekrit also cooperates and spreads out, while Gildress is lumbering behind me, though I can tell he is staying alert in all directions for any movement.
Christoph walks two steps ahead of me.
「You’re seriously treating me like a shield.」
「I told you from the beginning……wait.」
The walls are pulsing almost like a beating heart.
And――
『Thou shall tell no lies.』
Everyone looks at each other.
The majestic female voice is not going through our ears, but speaking directly into our heads.
When this happens, it’s usually a bad guy, right?
『If you lie to my question, I will make it grow. I will make it stretch. I will make it expand.』
「……so this is it.」
Nonna shakes her head.
The answer to what happened to her maids has revealed itself.
In other words, the same will happen to us if we lie.
The voice continues.
『Aegir. What does thou like the most?』
「Women.」
I hear a ‘ding ding’.
The sound, which seems to be made with her mouth, is cute and drastically decreases the eerie impression I have of her.
「Quite a bold statement in front of your wife……」
Nonna pulls on my hair, but it can’t be helped.
Having my eyes, nose, or mouth enlarged would be annoying.
Another question is asked when we progress 10 meters further.
『Gildress. Do you feel lust for the women present here?』
「I do! I certainly do! How could I not!?」
An adorable ‘ding ding’ indicates a correct answer as my fist lands on Gildress.
This is no time to be fighting, let’s keep moving.
『Celia. How many cookies did you eat today?』
「Errr, one, two……」
Celia bends her fingers one by one, but it’ll be trouble if she gets it wrong so I offer some advice.
「You ate your sixth one at the entryway. You just have to count how many you ate from there to here.」
That makes Celia’s face turn red.
「I-I didn’t eat that many! At most, I ate three……ah.」
『――an unsightly lie.』
A disturbing low-pitched sound resonates.
Celia extends her hand, but a blood-red mist envelopes her faster than she can reach me.
「N-nooo! Aegir-sama will hate me if my face is ugly――」
The mist mercilessly surrounds the screaming Celia and glows brightly.
My gut prepares me for a change.
「Uuuu……is it my eyes? Or is it my nose, or is it my mouth? Don’t look……」
Celia tearfully gropes her face in a panic.
「No, none of those things changed.」
Her eyes, nose, and mouth are still the cute Celia’s features.
「Hmm.」
I tilt my head.
「What’s going on?」
Nonna also tilts her head.
『Huh? That’s strange.』
The owner of the voice also seems confused.
「In any case, I’m glad. Surely, it was Aegir-sama’s love that protected me.」
Celia exhales in relief and picks up her backpack, only to suddenly stop a few seconds later and peek inside her hot pants.
「……something grew.」
「What did?」
Nonna asks.
「……that thing.」
This time, we pause for a few seconds.
I pull Celia’s shorts down to her ankles.
「Gyaa!」
Dangling between her legs is a cute 5 cm――
「Is that a penis!? What’s going on!?」
『Strange, I intended to enlarge her mouth. Did a strong signal of someone’s penis interfere?』
It’s not good that the owner of the voice is also bewildered.
「Fugya! I don’t want this even if my face is fine!」
Celia tries to pull off the extra appendage, but stops because of the pain.
「So it’s real. If that was it, I’d be fine, but more problems might arise if this isn’t solved.」
「What do you mean, you’ll be fine?」
I ignore Nonna’s retort and put Celia’s pants back on.
『Ahem. Err, Nonna! How much is your bill for this month?』
Nonna immediately straightens her back.
Then, after looking at me and the crying Celia, mutters with her face pointing at the ground.
「S-six hundred gold……」
「Nonna-san, you bought jewels again!?」
Celia’s yell is accompanied by the indication of a correct response.
I keep Celia in check, telling her that the scolding can come later.
While I’m at it, I feel her crotch to confirm the earlier discovery.
As I separate from the withering Celia, I prepare myself for what comes next.
『Sekrit.』
「Hmp, finally my turn?」
I’m sure she’ll be fine.
She’ll answer whatever question she gets with a smile.
『State the name of your handcrafted vessel which is nearing completion.』
「Wha-!?」
This is fortunate.
Since it’s something she names herself, it’s impossible for her not to know the answer, plus it’s not a difficult to answer question like what Nonna was asked.
「Gr……ngh……」
However, Sekrit bites her lip and doesn’t reply.
「What’s wrong? You don’t know?」
『Quickly. Quickly.』
Sekrit turns red and doesn’t open her mouth for some reason.
『Time’s up. That will be recognized as a lie.』
Sekrit gets wrapped in red mist……and something also grows out of her.
「The number of cookies eaten, the amount of gold spent, the name of my boat……whoever the voice belongs to must possess considerable power to know all of that. She isn’t an ordinary opponent.」
「It appears so, but why didn’t you answer?」
Sekrit ignores me and continues.
「Rather than a monster or a magician, this could be in the realm of gods.」
「What was the name of your boat?」
Don’t step on my foot, it hurts.
『Christoph. What is your height and weight?』
「Only I get such a plain question? Umm, 185 and 88 ――no wait. 150 cm and 45 kg!」
「Liar.」
I interject before the voice says anything.
But Christoph grins confidently.
「Both Celia and Sekrit grew one when they lied. So what will happen to me when I already have one?」
「It’ll get bigger!?」
Christoph nods as I lean forward.
He got me. I stamp my foot in frustration, thinking I should have also lied.
「I’ll use the trap to my benefit. That’s what it means to be a true sage!」
Christoph guffaws as the red mist circles around him.
Similar to what happened with Celia and Sekrit, the mist radiates and――
「Amazing.」
I mutter.
「Interior aside, you look like a true man on the outside.」
Gildress is also impressed.
Christoph proudly feels his crotch and tilts his head.
「It hasn’t changed?」
Gildress and I pound a fist against his chest.
「Chest……? What’s all this hair!? It’s even covering my nipples! This isn’t what I expected!」
『Moron.』
Let’s keep moving.
Afterward, questions would continue to be asked every time we moved forward a short distance.
The ones Gildress and I were asked could be answered without any issue at all.
When I was asked which part of my wife I liked the most, I answered ‘her breasts’ on reflex, which gave me the correct answer sound and five headbutts from Nonna, but that’s fine.
Christoph was asked questions that seemed trivial to the owner of the voice like his birth date and address, but he got a few questions wrong and finally his chest hair started to protrude out of his clothes.
More notable was the girl team.
「T-that’s true, but you’re wrong, you’re kidding……meee!」
Celia generally answered correctly, but the particularly provoking questions got her to lie defensively, resulting in her extra appendage growing to 18 cm.
「I didn’t mean it like that……kyaaaaa!」
Nonna withstood for the most part, however when it came to a question regarding Carla, she finally lied and her attachment grew to 8 cm.
And most outstanding was……
『Sekrit. What did you scream at the moment of orgasm when you masturbated yesterday?』
「Damn you!!」
I can only feel ill will in the questions Sekrit is asked.
They are all questions which she can’t answer.
『That counts as a lie. The correct answer is ‘hug me tighter, Aegir!’』
The revealing of the answer is just rubbing salt in her wound.
A red mist envelops Sekrit as she hurls a torrent of insults at the ceiling.
「Wow……」
As Christoph has described, all of Sekrit’s answers thus far were judged to be lies and her dick has grown to 40 cm.
If it’s that big, I don’t know if I can accept it.
「That’s awful.」
「I always thought you were a rude masculine person anyways……」
Celia and Nonna recoil in disgust, acting blind to their own problems.
「How dare you……argh, don’t look!」
It’s hard not to.
Since she’s wearing tight female pants, the foreign object is clearly visible from the outside.
The thing reaches down to her knee.
「It doesn’t look like we have the option of running away. We have to resolve this somehow.」
The path goes on forever though.
As I wonder when it will end, the voice heaves a big sigh.
『Haaa, such boring lies……all of you aren’t good enough either. Let’s make this the last one.』
The blurry area in front of us clears up and the end of the corridor appears.
Or rather, the end was created.
『This is the last question. It is a question directed at your souls. If you lie, you will never leave this place.』
The voice’s tone lowers.
Earlier, the voice was playful and sounded like it was having fun, but it’s different now.
It’s probably a sign that we can’t take back our answers if we fool around.
『Sekrit. Do you want to change the past?』
The type of question changed.
It’s not a question like the previous ones with right and wrong answers.
Sekrit ponders for a while with her eyes closed, then slowly opens her mouth to speak.
「No, everything in the past is what makes me who I am today. Change is unnecessary.」
A second later, she looks over at me.
「Plus, if the past is altered and I become a lady who loves flowers, he won’t be happy either.」
I kind of want to see what that Sekrit would be like.
「What a cool thing to say.」
「Her crotch is still bulging though.」
Celia hides behind me after Sekrit glares at her.
The voice doesn’t say anything.
There is no sound indicating a correct answer or a lie.
『Christoph. If two friends were struck down at the same time, who would you save?』
I don’t know how to answer.
Christoph twitches, and then stares at the ground briefly before answering.
「I don’t know. I won’t think about it until the time comes. And if the time comes, I probably won’t be able to decide. It’s not really something you can decide in advance.」
Again, the voice doesn’t react.
「What a cool hero-like response, even though it’s Christoph.」
「The answer is ruined by the chest hair. It’s super gross.」
「Hearing that from a beauty is excruciating……but this chest hair will go away, right? It’s fluffy all the way down to my stomach……」
『Nonna. The warm memories of days gone by or the present, which do you desire――?』
「The present……」
Nonna replies immediately, almost speaking over the voice, and then goes silent.
Even though Celia pokes her chest, she doesn’t flinch.
When she pokes her crotch, Nonna shrieks and leans over.
『Celia. Between your most precious person and everything else, which do you choose?』
「Aegir-sama.」
Celia similarly answers immediately and without hesitation.
When I tell her how cute she is and stroke her crotch, she bends over like Nonna.
I guess I’m next.
『Aegir. The road you take――』
「I have only one road in front of me.」
The voice doesn’t say anything.
It kind of feels sad that the final question is over so quickly.
「Ho, ho.」
When I fondle the breasts of a smirking Sekrit who approaches me happily, I hear a shriek and the sound of cloth tearing around her crotch area.
『Haaa, no lies. I have indeed confirmed the true feelings in your hearts. I will let you go.』
Somehow, the voice sounds depressed.
Although I can’t see the owner of the voice, an image of a beautiful woman slumping her shoulders disappointedly comes to mind.
「Oh――」
「Hey! When will I get my question!?」
A booming voice drowns me out right when I was about to call out to her.
『Ah, I forgot.』
Despite the voice supposedly belonging to someone dangerous, the slight carelessness gives me a cute impression.
The voice clears itself once, and then returns to being solemn.
『Gildress. You……are you aware that you can no longer win against Aegir and Goldonia?』
「Nnuh!?」
Just when I thought she was airheaded, she asks a rather bold question.
Gildress stares at me and then laughs fearlessly.
「I won’t lose to him nor will Aless lose to Goldonia.」
As soon as he finishes speaking, an invisible power sends Gildress flying into the wall.
A demonic growl replaces the cute voice.
『You thought I can’t see through your bluff!? Do you know no shame to attempt to lie to a question of your soul!? You deserve to rot here!』
Gildress messed up at the last hurdle.
I rest a hand on the Dual Crater, thinking about how to handle the upcoming crisis.
However Gildress holds out a hand as if to tell me to wait.
「Know shame? Ridiculous.」
Then he stands up slowly.
『Excuses are futile!』
Once again, an invisible power assails Gildress.
But he spreads his arms and accepts it.
Blood trickles from his nose, his lips split open and his cape tears away.
Even so, he doesn’t take a single step backward.
「This guy grows stronger daily, I grow old with each day.」
Gildress holds onto the invisible force and pushes back.
「I’m sure the strength of Aless is not even a portion of Goldonia’s strength. And even a great warrior is not immortal.」
His hips drop and he appears to be on the verge of falling over, but he doesn’t.
「Nevertheless, I will win! Aless will win! I have no doubt about it!」
『Fool, my power can see through to your heart! That is a lie!』
Gildress picks up the invisible force.
「So what!? Nnngh!」
The irrational muscle-brain somehow tosses the invisible force up to the ceiling.
With a loud crash, the ceiling cracks.
「Even if I’m bluffing, even if I’m simply barking that I’m the strongest. I do it because I’m a man!」
『Hn?』
「Aah?」
His speech sounds impressive, but I don’t understand it.
「You think I would cower just because I am up against a foe I can’t match? Boasting proudly and challenging them……is what a true man does!」
『……』
See, it’s not just us, you even made the voice go quiet.
「It doesn’t matter if the opponent is strong or big. I won’t cower in the slightest. I will challenge them believing I’m stronger and definitely defeat them! ……if I happen to come up short and die, I can be proud that I died like a man. I’m not going feel any shame for living a lie!」
Gildress poses confidently.
Of course, no one understands what he said――
『Kyuun.』
「What was the sound? It seemed like it came from the lower half rather than the mouth.」
When Nonna looks around nearby, she sees Gildress throwing something unknown back and cracking the already-broken ceiling further.
I braced myself for the whole place to cave-in, but what appeared instead was a beautiful woman.
Slowly descending from above is a glowing well-proportioned woman wrapped in a white cloth.
「What a lovely straightforward lie that is neither subservient, nor plotting against others, nor one that fills a heart of vanity. I am the goddess who governs falsehoods……and I was waiting for a man like you.」
She stands in front of Gildress and throws off the cloth clinging around her body.
I could already tell from the outside that she possesses a body unimaginable for a human……it’s probably different altogether.
「Marvelous. What a wonderful body.」
When Gildress without delay reaches a hand out to her breasts and crotch, the goddess calmly steps back.
「Last question. Am I the most beautiful in the world?」
「Of course.」
Gildress answers promptly.
「……you’re lying.」
The woman stares at Gildress, who smiles.
「Umu. I think the one who is the most beautiful in the world is my wife. With that said, if a woman as beautiful as you bares herself to me, I will definitely tell her she’s the most beautiful!」
「He acts cool, but what he says is the worst.」
Celia tosses a rock at Gildress, who doesn’t dodge, and when it hits his crotch, the rock crumbles.
「Fantastic!!」
As if not noticing Celia’s existence at all, the naked goddess embraces Gildress.
She waves her hand and the wall immediately transforms into a door.
The door leads to a bedroom with a bed covered with rose petals.
Not saying a word, Gildress picks up the woman and carries her into the bedroom.
The door closes, leaving the rest of us dumbfounded.
「What just happened?」
「Don’t ask me.」
We were stunned for only a few seconds.
『Aaooooo!!』
The voice cries out inside my head at a ridiculously loud volume.
「Kyaa!」
Nonna, who has sensitive hearing, gasps and covers her ears, though she can’t block the voice directly entering into her brain.
『I-incredible! I never felt this way before! Ooooh! Aoooh!!』
Grunts and the sound of bed creaking echoes in our heads.
「That damn goddess forgot to turn off the sound! Argh, my head is ringing!」
Sekrit clutches her head in agony.
『Cumming! I’m cumming again! You’re so rough, it won’t stop! Oooggohh!!』
Her guttural moans and the pounding of flesh doesn’t stop.
「That self-proclaimed goddess screams like an animal! It’s really annoying!!」
Celia kicks the door, but doesn’t get any response.
『I’m dying! I’m going to die! Don’t stop thrusting! More, thrust harder, kill me! Kill the goddess! Kill meeeee! Heeeeee!』
Christoph and I also cover our ears and drop to our knees.
Even knowing they are the moans of a woman, this kind of ugly screeching hardly turns us on.
『Ugyaaaa!!』
With one final squeal, the voice goes silent.
The door opens just as we recover from the crippling noise.
The self-proclaimed goddess emerges with hickeys and bite marks all over her body, her hair disheveled, and her face stained with saliva and snot.
Behind her is a satisfied Gildress……having suffered the unmuted ruckus, I’m that much more pissed.
「Haa, haa……after speaking with this brave hero, I have decided to become the goddess of Aless.」
「Umu, I’ll be bringing her home.」
It’s the first time hearing of such a goddess in the first place so I don’t have any attachment, but it still feels like I got something stolen from me.
「And so, I will undo the various major curses. Since I will be departing shortly, please hold the proper send-off festivities.」
「……sure.」
I would hate to be cursed again, let’s do as she says.
The endless corridor ceases to exist and the place returns to being the somewhat big house.
The exit door also returns to normal.
「……let’s go home.」
Not only am I not fully satisfied, I’m tired.
Everyone shares the same sentiment and sighs as they walk out of the house one by one.
As I’m about the walk out as well, a hand firmly grabs me by the shoulder.
「Wait just a moment, feudal lord of Rafen.」
「What’s wrong――I mean, how can I help you, goddess.」
I switch to polite speech.
Although I’m suspicious of whether she’s a real goddess or not, she does have a mysterious power and seems quite whimsical, so it’ll be trouble if I provoke her.
Seemingly pleased with the attitude I’m taking, the goddess nods in delight.
「As a feudal lord, it’s hard for you to allow a goddess of your region to be taken, right?」
「Well, not re――」
The goddess kicks me in the crotch.
She isn’t going to attack in a more god-like way?
Also, she’s clutching her shin in pain.
「What I’m saying is that I’m giving you a chance to steal me back. Consider it an honor to be able to fight with a goddess on the line.」
A duel isn’t an amicable method.
And if my opponent is going to be Gildress, the fight is going to be a serious all-out one.
I check that I have my Dual Crater, while Gildress touches his Light of Aless.
Wait a second, he only had a cape and underwear this whole time, where did he pull that from?
「Hey, wait! I will not acknowledge anything savage like fighting with swords. This isn’t a fight to the death, it is a divine ritual……so there is a sacred way which has been done since ancient times.」
With the wave of her hand, the wooden floor melts away and is replaced by a black earth.
In addition, the earth bulges and out pops a rope which is formed into a circle.
Now that I’m shown this, I’m convinced she’s a real goddess.
「This is the ring of gods――and-」
The goddess snaps her fingers, which pulls off the clothes of both myself and Gildress.
「Because this is a divine ritual, it naturally has to be done naked. Furthermore……」
She moves her hand in a circular motion and causes a fluid to pour all over our bodies from above.
「This is the god’s pa……god’s ointment. You two will fight in this state. The rules are simple, the first one to throw or push the other out of the ring wins. You’ll be slippery, so please wrestle and compete with each other in strength.」
The goddess’s eyes are bloodshot and her breathing is labored.
「You are before a goddess. Prove to me your bravery.」
Gildress assumes a stance eagerly……on the other hand, I’m a bit worried about this goddess.
The ugly battle begins.
After some grappling and shoving, I sweep Gildress’s leg and throw him.
「Guh, I wasn’t good enough!?」
「Alright, I win. I’m going home and taking a bath.」
Once again, the goddess rests her hand on my shoulder.
「Wait. Gildress is the only man among you lot who showed how courageous he is to a goddess like me, a single win could be the result of luck. Let’s make this a best out of three.」
Isn’t it unfair to say that after the fight is over?
「This is a divine ritual! Therefore, I make the rules!」
And so, the battle restarts, but it seems I lost my luck after defying the goddess and my leg slips, creating a small opening and resulting in consecutive losses for me.
「I won!」
「I lost. I’m taking a bath.」
The goddess grabs my shoulder as I’m about to walk out.
「Although this is a divine ritual, having the win overturned leaves you with unwanted regret, right? Let’s make this a first-to-five.」
The goddess gives me a thumbs-up and sticks out her tongue.
「No, I’m fine with it being my loss……」
「Then I won’t turn that woman’s crotch or that maid’s face back to normal.」
That’s sneaky. You’re fine with such dirty tricks?
Plus, having you watch us from a low angle distracts me.
Just be honest and admit that everything, including this crazy fight, is your weird hobby.
Both of us eventually reach four wins and she tells us to wait.
「I don’t think a slippery sumo fight over a woman is a good idea after all. Let’s stop.」
If she was a male instead, I would have punched him.
She’s a woman though, that’s why I would never do it.
「If you’re men, then you have to compete to see who can please a woman the best. To be fair, you’ll both have to embrace the same woman, but a normal woman would die if she had to endure strong men like you one after the other.」
My annoyed heart clears up in anticipation of the upcoming development.
Even if she has a twisted personality, a goddess is a noble being.
「This unworthy goddess will be the judge as you make love to me. Now, show me what you got!」
Initially, we took turns.
The goddess squealed in Gildress’s arms and swore to only be his goddess.
And in my arms, she roared and pleaded to bear my children.
「I-it’s hard to choose who is better. Thus, I will judge after both of you please me at the same time.」
At this point, I’m certain this goddess is using me for her own amusement, but I’m not going to lose in a contest of fucking woman.
――I was oblivious to the nightmare awaiting me.
***
Nighttime.
「I’m done. All my motivation has been drained.」
I lie flat on the bed.
Even I’m surprised at my pathetic whining.
「When we stepped outside, we were worried when the entrance disappeared again. What on earth happened?」
Celia asks as she and Nonna massages me.
Sekrit chugs her alcohol in the corner of the room, partially paying attention.
「I don’t want to say……I feel gross even though I took a bath.」
When Celia mounts my back to give me a massage there, I feel a strange bump touching me.
She did say that it would take one evening for the attachment to go away……though it doesn’t bother me much now.
To get straight to the point, I lost.
However, I didn’t lose at pleasing a woman, and in fact, the battle was progressing in my favor.
It was due to Gildress’s wicked and unfair foul play which settled the fight.
「That guy, he missed and hit my face instead……how could I continue in that disgusted state!? What does he mean I’m still immature to wilt from a bit of juice―― I’ll murder him!」
I apologize for surprising Nonna by using coarse language and then pull the futon over myself.
Normally, I’d sleep with all three women at once, but I’m tired as hell today so I’m sleeping.
I close my eyes and quickly fall asleep.
The best medicine to heal a deeply-wounded heart is to be in bed surrounded by beauties, which means sleeping.
In my dream, I hear a voice.
『Why don’t you come to Aless too?』
I can’t.
I am this land’s feudal lord.
『Don’t say that. With one word I can make you Gildress’s adopted son.』
My mind freezes.
I’m absolutely not going. Dying would be better.
『You’ll be happier coming along. You could even bring your beloved person with you.』
Even so, I refuse.
There are still things left that I must do.
『……』
She goes silent sadly.
She’s a goddess who can see through to a person’s heart. She might be able to see what lies ahead for me in my path.
I’ve been wondering for a while now, you don’t seem like an evil god, but why do wicked things like cast curses on people?
『As a goddess of falsehood, I can’t tolerate half-baked lies……and those two in particular entered the house without permission amd when I asked who they were, they dared to use fake names.」
As expected of Nonna’s maids, they instantly deduced the dubious atmosphere and tried to trick their way out.
It didn’t result in a positive outcome this time though.
『I couldn’t hurt or kill them. That’s when I remembered a story I read in an old book which said that one’s body part grew when a lie is told……with that in mind, I enlarged the parts on their face. I tried to resolve the person’s complex in doing so.』
Sally wanted her thin eyes to be bigger.
Maruru was conscious about her flat face and wanted to have a taller nose.
I see……I thought she was insane, but she’s a goddess who is fundamentally kind.
『Well, I do think I went a bit overboard……it’s been 300 years since I woke up so I was in a bad mood. And when I took a peek, the city seems to be bigger.』
You were sleeping that long?
Could it be that bad things will happen if you leave the city?
『No, not really……I am not that powerful of a god. The only thing that will happen is lies will be a bit easier to detect.』
That might be troublesome.
『Anyways, it’s about time to say goodbye. I’ll bestow you with a blessing in honor of pleasing me.』
The goddess departs casually.
Oh right, I didn’t even get her name.
Just as my consciousness fades to black and I’m thinking how much of a shame it was, I feel her presence again.
『One last thing, I have to resolve the misunderstanding. I am the goddess of falsehood……in other words, I was deceiving you.』
How ironic for the goddess of falsehood to tell a lie despite not tolerating them.
So, what did she lie about?
『Actually, I am……』
「Uooooh!!」
I wake up in a panic.
It feels like I just heard something unbelievably astonishing, but I can’t remember what it is.
The foreign object in between the legs of Nonna and Celia have vanished and they are smiling in their sleep like their souls have left their body.
「They’re so cute.」
I kiss both of their cheeks.
I go over to Sekrit, who didn’t think it was a good idea to sleep in the bed and is sleeping on the sofa, to do the same.
「Fufun, I’m not getting my kiss yet?」
Sensing I woke up, Sekrit opens one eye and grins.
「Unfortunately, you have more to worry about.」
I point at Sekrit’s crotch.
Yes, Sekrit is the only one whose crotch did not return to normal.
And because it’s morning, her organ is engorged to a ridiculous size with blood..
「……why?」
「She probably forgot about you?」
She’s not evil, but enough is enough with the tricks.
I mean, it’s also possible that she actually forgot.
It’s hard to believe that she couldn’t remember to erase the biggest one though.
「Where did that shitty goddess go?」
「She should be heading to Aless.」
Sekrit flies out of the window like a cannonball.
Now then, I wonder how long this peace will last.
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