2020 Setsubun Special
This was a story that happened a while ago.
It is a tale so old that there is no tool to measure how many years to go back.
In this time, gods existed as distinct forms who ruled over people rather than vague concepts.
The gods of good and the gods of evil would constantly be fighting each other, and the period would welcome in light or darkness depending on the outcome of their conflict.
One especially powerful evil god, the demon king and son of ???, was about to bring darkness to the earth.
To prevent it from happening, ????, a strong god of good, chose humans with a brave heart, gave them strength and divine weapons, and sent them to defeat the enemy.
The party selected by the god vanquished numerous demons and finally stood before the demon king.
The hero swung his divine sword, splitting the mountains, and used his divine shield to ward off the blazes capable of burning the world.
The spear user danced in the air with a divine robe, and the magician used a divine staff to call upon over a hundred lightning bolts to attack the demon king.
Yet one by one they fell.
It was not enough.
Despite being bestowed with godly powers and divine weapons, the strength of the demon king far surpassed them.
In the end, the last remaining hero was shot through the heart.
The demon king laughed as black clouds appeared and covered the horizons as far as the eye can see.
The hero who was entrusted with the light died and the age of darkness was set to begin.
Nay, there was one more person――
Neither was he accounted for by the demon king or the hero and his party.
This boy admired the hero and accompanied him on his journey, ignoring everyone who tried to stop him from going.
He did not possess any godly powers.
He was not given any weapon.
Nevertheless, he stood firm and stared down the demon king.
He was shaking in fear and tears streamed down his face.
The demon king stretched out his hand coldly as if to squash an insect.
Then a light shone.
It was a faint glow from the corpse of the hero.
Maybe it was from traces of the godly powers left in the dead body or perhaps it was the hero’s soul.
The demon king sneered.
What difference would the dregs residing in an insect make?
However, the boy stepped forward.
Surrounded by his heroes, he no longer felt fear.
He was also unarmed.
Nobody let him carry a knife because it would be too dangerous.
He took out the only thing he had in his pockets, a bag of beans.
They were given to him by the heroes and he had not eaten them as they were too precious to him.
The ground shook as the demon king burst out laughing.
『To challenge me with beans, you will go down in history as more than a mere hero.』
The beans flew in an arc.
Of course, the demon king didn’t dodge or block.
『That courage is precisely what makes a person shine. Oh, my child, let there be light.』
A stern voice from the heavens negates the rumbling of the hearty laughter.
White light shone down on the beans.
The demon king stares at the sky.
『Damn you ????. You dare to toy with me and this world?』
The beans, having been exposed to the light, radiate rainbow-colored beams as they head towards the demon king.
The demon king roars.
The demon king summons a barrier that had repelled the magician’s lightning, sticks out multiple arms that knocked down the spear user, and swings a demonic blade that had defeated the hero.
Those glittering beans pierced through all of that and struck the demon king.
His overwhelming power vanishes and his giant knees sink to the ground.
『『『Goooo!』』』
Spurred by the voices of the fallen heroes, the boy charges.
The sword, shield and robe float up from the bodies of the heroes and move to the boy.
Out of desperation, the demon king unleashed a spell……it was strong enough to annihilate a city, yet the boy deflected it with his shield and let out a shout that was neither a war cry or a tearful howl as he ran.
The boy jumped.
He soared through the air with the power of the robe, aiming for the demon king’s heart.
Sticking out the sword of his beloved hero, he flew in a straight line.
The blade penetrated the demon king’s heart and the world would be blessed with several thousand years of light.
The beans that were thrown at the demon king scattered on the ground, eventually sprouting into great trees that reached the clouds.
————————————————————————————————–
「That’s how the legend came to be.」
「Ehh……without a date when it happened or any documentation, there is no way to do further research, but it’s pretty interesting as a story.」
When I walk into the living room, I see Luna and Tristan talking.
Pipi is running about next to them, while Alice is nodding off as she reads a book.
「What are you talking about?」
I ask, petting Celia.
The truce without a treaty since the reclamation of Elektra is ongoing and matters within the country have been left to Adolph and Leopolt, so there’s not much for me to do. I’m extremely bored and I could use a good story.
「We’re talking about the bean-throwing festival taking place today. Supposedly, it’s a tradition of Luna-san and the mountain nation.」
「Ehh. I’m not too familiar with the details, what kind of festival is it?」
Luna explains with occasional inquiries of contradictions by Tristan.
Time passed by slowly until the destroyers suddenly emerged.
「「「Demons out!」」」
The door of the living room swings open violently and children rush through.
「「Throw!」」
Without delay, beans fly in the air like the coordinated volley of a squad of archers.
This is exactly the embodiment of the festival where beans are thrown to drive away demons.
「Watch out!」
Celia shields me, exposing her body to the shower of beans.
A barrage of beans pelt Celia.
「Hahaha, you got turned into a porcupine.」
I wouldn’t allow her to do that on the battlefield, but beans are pretty harmless.
「They got inside my clothes from my collar……wapph! Enough alr-……fugya!」
The children――more specifically Anastasia and Rose――continue mercilessly bombarding Celia’s face with beans.
「Cut it out!!」
Celia attacks the children back, grabbing beans and starting to throw them.
It’s rather immature of her to fight children, but I simply watch and smile at the ridiculousness.
「Although, it’s unfair for you to fight alone, Celia. Alice, go join in.」
「Fueh!?」
Alice becomes flustered when I call on her as she’s reading in the corner of the room.
「I’ve set an ambush. Commence the attack!」
Anastasia nudges her twin brother Bartolome and orders for a simultaneous attack on the rampaging Celia.
「Eh? Eh? Eeeh!?」
General Alice’s response is sluggish compared to the swift decisions of the enemy general Anastasia.
「Fire!」
「Kyaaaa!!」
Alice suffered a shelling of beans right as she lifted her bum up from her seat and tripped, falling on the carpet.
Her sole ally in Celia was too busy chasing Bartolome to notice Alice’s predicament.
「Oh no. At this rate, the entire army will collapse. I’m going to have to call on reserve troops.」
「Fufu, just what I wanted.」
「Commence battle!」
Luna and Pipi join in and the tables turn.
Pipi bounces side to side and hurls beans from unexpected angles and Luna surprisingly also doesn’t hold back against her child opponents. This must be standard practice for the mountain nation.
Still, the children have the upper hand in terms of numbers……
「Urg……demons o-……out……」
「I-it’s kind of hard to……」
Bartolome, Gilbard, and Claude clearly aren’t moving well.
I can understand why.
「Ahaha, there’s more where that came from!」
「Eat Pipi’s aerial beam!」
Pipi and Luna seem to be focusing on mobility and are wearing short skirts.
With how much they are moving, it’s easy to see.
「If that was it, it wouldn’t be that bad, but Pipi-san isn’t wearing anything underneath.」
Celia finally caught Bartolome.
Naturally, Celia doesn’t do anything too mean and lets him off with a pinch of the cheek.
Bartolome obediently accepts his punishment and actually looks a little happy.
All my kids are perverts.
I wonder who they take after?
「Gya!」
A larger bean sinks into Bartolome’s crotch.
Wait, that’s a walnut. The sound of impact was pretty loud.
「Dummies who get captured need to be dealt with before information leaks.」
Anastasia coldly stares down at Bartolome who faints in agony.
The looks she inherited from her mother makes the condescending expression fit her too well.
「Ow! Hey, Ana-chan, what are you throwing!?」
「Wah, wah, not fair!」
「Shut up! All that matters is winning!」
Seeing her disadvantageous situation, Anastasia begins to throw broad beans and peanuts.
Technically, they are in the bean family, but that’s barely within the rules.
「I don’t know about resorting to any means necessary when you feel you’re losing……」
Alice, who is running away while being one-sidedly attacked, gets hit directly in the ass by a peanut.
「Aah!」
Alice collapses and falls face-down.
The boys hurl beans altogether at her ass.
「Don’t focus on my ass……noo……aaa……aahhee!」
「Hey Alice-san, don’t make that face in front of the children! And you boys are doing it with full knowledge of that! Look at the tent in all of your pants……you’ll become like Aegir-sama if you keep this up!」
Luna and Pipi rescue Alice, Celia kicks the ass of each of the boys who run away leaning forward, Bartolome clutches his groin in pain as Anastasia continues hurling her barely legal beans, and before I notice, Rose is sitting next to me and rubbing her cheek against my arm……everything is a mess.
As I am about to stand up and take control of the situation, Anastasia’s throw misses its mark and shatters a glass.
An unsettling noise unlike the earlier commotion echoes.
「That sound just now! A glass broke, didn’t it!」
Multiple footsteps travel rapidly along the corridor.
「Not good!」
Anastasia scrambles to my side.
She slips her tiny hand into my thick scarred hand……and makes me hold a walnut.
「Who’s the one who broke the glass!!?」
Nonna flies in and sees……the disorderly living room, the scattered shards of the glass, me standing imposingly with a walnut in hand, and Anastasia elegantly sipping tea who points at me……
「It feels better that she’s acting so brazenly.」
I’m worried about when she has a position above others though.
「「「Demons out.」」」
With the mothers intervening, the ruckus was also settled.
Order is restored and the children accompany their mothers in throwing the beans normally.
「Seriously, this girl……」
「Father……my legs hurt.」
「Mother……my groin hurts.」
The exceptions are Anastasia, who is sitting in seiza on the floor, and Bartolome, who is being comforted by Nonna after getting a nasty hit by a walnut.
Everything was normal in the beginning until Anastasia took command and made things like a war.
「You also did something bad before coming here, right?」
「I didn’t.」
Anastasia turns her face to the side in a huff.
「I’ll find out if you’re lying. Confess now and I’ll cut down your sins by one.」
「Mmm, considering the number of witnesses, hiding it is impossible……it’s best to comply here……」
Number one:
Threw beans at the gardener while he was pruning plants on a ladder, making him fall.
Number two:
Screamed loudly, then threw beans at the feet of the guards who rushed over, tripping them.
Number three:
Attacked Christoph while he was taking a nap and stuffed beans in his mouth.
「Owie! Owie! Owie!」
I team up with Nonna to pull her cheeks.
「The last one isn’t a big deal, but you really went wild.」
「It would have been better to split it up more with the well-behaved Bartolome.」
The interaction between parent and child makes me smile.
Anastasia, with her swollen cheeks, pouts, and just when I think everything is going to be peaceful, something happens.
「Hahahahaha, I found you, naughty kids! It’s payback!」
Suddenly, a suspicious individual jumps into the living room and scatters a full pot of beans.
The incredible ambush causes the kids normally throwing beans to flee.
Hey, that’s Christoph.
「Stuffing my mouth to the brim! I really thought I was going to die!」
Christoph dumps a pot full of beans on Anastasia, the principal offender.
But she leaps forward beautifully from her seated position and hides behind the backs of me and Nonna.
The deluge of beans hit me and Nonna.
「「……」」
I’m ticked off.
Quite a bit. Somehow, I withhold exploding in anger by considering how the one who made the initial attack was Anastasia and it was just beans that hit me.
「Uuu……there are beans all over me……it feels gross.」
The chest area of Nonna’s dress is open so many beans slipped into her clothes.
A disaster occurs when she tries to remove them.
「Ah!?」
When she sticks a hand into her chest area, one of her humongous breasts spills out.
I immediately glare at all the males in the room, including Tristan and Christoph.
Tristan……is for some reason being forced by Maria to eat beans and isn’t looking.
Christoph――
「Huge……」
You’re done, Christoph.
Obviously, I’m going to be throwing beans.
I won’t be drawing a sword or throwing a punch.
I’m only going to be throwing beans.
With my right hand, I grab some beans from the pile that was thrown at me.
Inhaling and lowering my hips, and using my left hand as a guide, I pull back my arm.
「E-evasie maneuvers! Get out of the line of fire!」
Celia leads the children.
「My defense is perfect though!」
Christoph uses the pot as a helmet and uses the wooden lid as a shield.
My arm cuts through the air, launching countless beans that whiz toward Christoph.
The power of my throw is so great that the round beans warp into elliptical shapes and the wind pressure rips off the outer shell.
The distance between me and Christoph is about ten meters, so the beans flew no more than 0.1 seconds.
It was a literal storm of beans.
Splinters of wood chip off from the lid with every hit and it eventually breaks, unable to withstand the relentless blast.
The metal pot escapes destruction, but each hit by a bean creates sparks and a dent on the surface.
Beans that were off-target whittle away the marble wall, kicking up a cloud of dust.
「Ugyaaaa!!」
Christoph is lifted into the air by the bean bombardment and sent flying into the corridor.
Well, I’m sure he doesn’t have ill intent and it’s simply because he can’t help his natural perverted urges.
I’ll let him off with this.
「Surprisingly, this bean-throwing is fun. I’ll try it too.」
「Please don’t, you’ll destroy the mansion with your practically scattershot shells.」
Celia sits me down on a sofa as she munches on some beans.
「Monster……」
Anastasia tosses one bean at my head before sitting on my lap.
「Oh yeah, I forgot!」
Pipi jumps over the table and clings to my neck.
「I brought this bean and wanted to give it to you, chief.」
Pipi places a black palm-sized object in my hand.
「What is this?」
Anastasia pokes at it curiously.
「Fumu, horse dung?」
「Hiiiu!」
Anastasia reels back and falls on the floor.
「No. It’s a much more sacred object. It’s a bean from the divine trees spoken of in the legend. Fruit grows once every ten years so it’s very rare.」
「We actually have a bean tree in our territory which has existed for ages. It is said to be legendary as it was giant since before our great-grandfather’s time and it was the only plant in a barren land. No fruit is usually produced, so when something like this is found, we consider it a lucky charm.」
Luna supplements Pipi’s explanation.
I am doubtful of such legends, but it’s not impossible.
I’ll accept it with thanks and put it in my pocket.
「Oh, and Anastasia. I’m sorry for tricking you, stop twisting my nipples.」
I hug my daughter who is pinching my nipples with full force.
「Ah, I also forgot something.」
Anastasia points out the window.
「Casie said she was going to tattle after witnessing a prank……so I turned her into a kite.」
（I will curse you! That girl is scary. To tie up a ghost. Waaah, someone lower me!）
Wow, you’re really unbeatable, huh.
「S-sis! Bad news!」
Wondering what it is this time, I turn and see Ruby, Luna’s sister, run in――and spin around after slipping on a bean.
Her tiny red underwear is a sign she’s influenced by the culture of the plains.
Pipi should learn from her and at least wear something.
「Ruby, what’s wrong? I heard you returned to the mountains for a while.」
Luna stands up abruptly, showing her concern.
「The divine tree has burned down!」
***
Bringing Pipi, Luna, Ruby, and Alice along, I headed for the mountain nation territory.
「Chi――I mean, Your Majesty, is it alright for you to leave? It almost felt like you snuck out……」
I smile at Luna.
「Well, I have time to spare. Besides, if I tell Leopolt and Adolph that I’m going to see some legendary tree, they’d complain like crazy.」
By the way, Celia isn’t here.
She ate a bean that went bad and got a stomach ache.
「I……am not really suited for this……」
Alice, who is seated in front of me rather than riding her own horse, gives me a reproachful look.
「You’re always either reading books in your room or playing with your ass. If you don’t go outside once in a while, it won’t be good for your health.」
「We should be getting close to where the tree is……but this is terrible.」
The large tree is completely burnt and can’t be distinguished from charcoal.
Also, a large surface of the ground around the tree is black as evidence of a fire.
「If it was an important tradition……it’s too bad.」
I hop off my horse and walk over to the charred remains of the tree――
On the way, my foot steps on something unusually squishy, causing me to jump back, and then I use my foot to brush away the black dust.
Appearing under the layer of charcoal is a human corpse.
It’s one which has been flattened…… to the extent that I wouldn’t have known about it unless I stepped on it.
I briefly scan my surroundings and also notice more than just one or two bodies.
At least ten humans are flattened in a similar manner.
「This was done using an abnormal means. I can say at the very least that bandits or wolves aren’t the culprit.」
I shield Alice, while Ruby and Pipi ready their bows.
Luna also examines the corpse.
「This ornament……belongs to the Teme family. He said he was returning home to attend a wedding too.」
Staying vigilant, I place a hand on a lump of charcoal about the height of a human.
Then I realized.
The charcoal’s eyes warped by fear, the gaping mouth, the outstretched hands that seemed to be begging for life.
「……what the heck is this?」
Wind blows through and the human-shaped charcoal lump scatters.
「Burned to death by bandits……」
I shake my head.
The pose makes it impossible.
What is possible is――
When I look over at Alice, she is sweating profusely and her entire body is shaking.
「Even though they’re turned to ash……I feel tremendous magic……can’t stand……」
I support Alice as her legs give out.
「No……we must run……something dreadful is coming……」
Alice pleads desperately to leave as I hug her, but then a thunderous boom assaults us.
「Lightning? There isn’t a single cloud――」
All of a sudden, a portion of the sky turns dark.
Wait, how is this possible? Just three minutes ago, it was clear as can be.
Fortunately, the lightning is happening in a place away from us, however Alice then screams like the world is ending.
「That isn’t lightning. It’s something way way worse……noooo!」
As if answering her scream, lightning strikes and the ground swells.
「Oooh, weeds.」
Appearing before us is a 2.5 m tall human――no, a monster.
It has red skin and bulging muscles a human could never achieve, with only a grass skirt around its waist and two horns growing out of its head.
It is also dragging a giant club at least 2 m in length.
「My master. Said to crush. Weeds.」
The monster approaches us, muttering under its breath.
「An orc……no, it’s totally different, although I don’t think it can be reasoned with either. Regardless, we have to fight.」
「「Right!」」
Pipi and Luna simultaneously loose their arrows.
They can’t miss at this close range, and sure enough, the two arrows accurately stab the monster in the heart and throat.
「Got ‘em!」
「No.」
I step forward, denying that the monster is dead.
「Weeds. Must fight.」
The monster runs forward as if the arrows had no effect.
I don’t see any blood, in fact, its skin probably wasn’t even pierced.
「Then how about this!?」
Ruby fires an arrow.
Her aim is the monster’s eye.
Doing that is not a hard task for the mountain nation.
But, the monster that didn’t show any resistance earlier swings its club and repels the arrow.
「So what!?」
Luna and Pipi, who have already nocked their next arrow, loose it at the monster’s face.
The monster twists its body to avoid the arrow and blocks the one it can’t dodge with the back of its hand.
That’s a move which an orc relying on its strength wouldn’t do.
「Weeds.」
The monster leaps to close the distance and swings its club at Ruby.
「Ah……」
Ruby immediately switches to her sword, but she can’t hope to stop such a big attack.
「Crush.」
The heavy blow drops――and is intercepted by my Dual Crater.
A loud clang rings out from the impact of the two weapons, causing my skin to vibrate and sparks to fly.
Both me and the monster are pushed back about an equal distance.
（Ow. That really hurt.）
I ignore the pervert dragon who was woken up by the clash, grab Ruby and throw her behind me before going on the offensive.
The monster blocks my downward strike with its club, but the force still brings it to one knee.
「I’m not done――」
I continue with a second and third strike, pouring all my strength into each attack until I feel my legs getting swept.
Unconsciously, I click my tongue in frustration as I recover with a hop, but at this point I have already left myself open.
The monster sweeps its club horizontally.
Of course, I block with my sword, but since my legs aren’t planted on the ground, my body is sent flying.
Trying to regain my posture in midair, I manage to land safely and roll three times on the ground before getting up.
「It clearly knows combat techniques and is quite the practitioner.」
（That club isn’t made of normal metal either. It can’t be cut even if you’re wielding me.）
「Fire……ball!」
Alice shoots out a fireball the size of a human head.
The monster doesn’t bother to turn around and disperses the magic with one whack of its club.
「No way……」
Seemingly heartbroken, Alice sinks to the ground.
Now I get it.
I have to give it my all or I won’t beat this thing.
「Tough. Weed.」
The opponent also seems to recognize me as the sole threat.
I’m the one who jumps.
We exchange blows briefly and both step back.
The monster utilizes its longer reach and swings its club sideways, and I duck under the attack.
When it tries to stomp on me to stop me from getting close, I hold out my sword and push back to knock the monster off balance.
My follow-up thrust to its stomach is dodged as the monster flips backward twice.
「It’s nimble for its size!」
I let out an annoyed growl and raise my sword, preparing to bring it down for a powerful strike.
The monster, rather than blocking, turns its body, narrowly dodging the attack, as my blade skims the tip of its nose and the surface of its chest.
「Not good, the sword!」
Exactly as Luna anticipated, the momentum of my attack carries my sword into the ground.
「The end.」
The monster isn’t going to let such an opportunity pass, and naturally swings down its club diagonally.
A grin forms on my face as I grip the handle of my sword tighter.
「It would be if the ground wasn’t charcoal.」
I sharply lift my sword out of the ground and plunge it into the monster’s chest.
The feeling of cutting its body is like cutting armor……no wonder arrows didn’t go through.
「Guo……aagh.」
A dark liquid gushes out of the monster’s chest when I pull out the Dual Crater.
I’ve never seen blood as black as that.
If I missed my attack and my sword got stuck in regular ground, I wouldn’t have made it in time.
My bold move worked because this charred earth provided less resistance.
「It did well as a monster except it wasn’t as smart as……hey, what’s going on?」
Smoke rises from the giant body as it slowly disappears.
In merely ten seconds, not a trace remains.
「……what was that?」
Just when I sigh and think there’s no way to find out its origins, another earth-shaking lightning bolt descends.
It is a dull blank lightning bolt.
「This is……bad, right?」
Luna’s tone changes.
Alice clutches her head and Ruby bites her lip nervously.
About ten lightning bolts crash down at the same time.
The ground swells……and ten monsters that look like the one I beat appear.
「Get behind me. Move as I tell you to.」
I force Alice to stand, my tone stricter than usual.
This isn’t the time to be chuckling and acting carefree.
If they are as strong as the previous one, I can win.
I can even beat three of them together.
If there are ten, I can most likely make a safe getaway.
However, that’s if I am alone.
Retreating when I have to protect others is difficult.
I brush away a swing, deflect a side-swipe, cut off an arm, and stab a leg.
Even though I throw one of them off-balance and slice it from the shoulder, a club hits my back and knocks the wind out of me.
「Everyone, back me up!」
Arrows and fireballs fly, but they have practically no effect.
Their strength is incomparable to that of orcs.
It’s doubtful whether thirty fully armed soldiers can even take one of them out.
Further, their clubs are made of an unknown material that the Dual Crater can’t easily cut.
I parry, block, and dodge.
On top of that, I have to protect the four girls behind me.
「If only there was one more person to help.」
If only one more person can hold them off in the front――
「I’m here.」
A dark-skinned gale slides under me as I’m engaged with one of the monsters, and cuts the thigh of one of the monsters.
The thick skin which can’t be torn by shallow slash attacks opens and blood squirts out.
「I see, pretty tough. More attacks are needed.」
The gale becomes a tornado.
Two swords dance, rotating at high speeds that the human eye can’t follow.
Blood squirts from the thigh, then the stomach and chest, then in various other places like the neck and face.
「Hoh, ruining a sword after a single strike, what a wasteful monster.」
Choosing to abandon the sword, the brown-skinned individual rushes at the monster and shoves a vial into its eyeball.
「First-」
With a bang, the monster’s head explodes to pieces.
「One down.」
Sekrit smirks, replacing the dulled sword with one attached to her hip.
「Before greeting, mind explaining what these things――gmuh!」
I wrap my arm around Sekrit and insert my tongue in her mouth.
「Nice of you to come, Sekrit. Now things will be just fine.」
Sekrit shakes me off, shaking her head as she covers her mouth with her hand.
「We have to survive this first. Just so you know, you owe me big time.」
There are eight enemies remaining, but with Sekrit joining, a sense of composure is created.
That composure is also felt by the others as Pipi and Ruby shoot arrows at the monsters’ eyeballs from outside their vision and Luna waits for an opening to slice at their joints.
Alice seems to have calmed down and fires powerful magic, defeating one monster after another.
「This is the end!」
I split the last monster’s head in half.
The monster’s club falls out of its hand and it mutters ‘my king’ before vanishing.
「So, what are those things? I’ve never seen any monster like that.」
Sekrit sighs, throwing away her worn-out sword.
「I don’t know either.」
「It must have something to do with the burning of the divine tree.」
Sekrit looks up into the sky, pondering Luna’s statement.
「Is that related to the demon king or whatever?」
「Err……well.」
I thought Sekrit had no interest in such stories.
「Then hasn’t he woken up?」
Sekrit points at the sky.
The black sky falls toward us.
The impact it makes is like an earthquake I’ve felt in the past, and nothing like the ones earlier.
Everyone is shaken to the ground and can only squirm helplessly.
「This abominable world of light, how unsightly.」
I eventually recover and stand up.
「Here comes the boss……」
It more or less has a human form――although its height easily exceeds five meters and it has blue skin which can be mistaken for steel at a distance. Each of its ten arms is holding a weapon shrouded in miasma, sharp fangs protrude from its mouth, and four large horns extend from its head.
「Need to resolve myself.」
Sekrit mumbles.
Not only does it have a fiendish appearance, it is clad with an extraordinary aura.
My instincts are screaming, telling me how dangerous of a monster it is.
The giant monster spreads its arms as if inviting us.
「What’s wrong, you weeds? You’re making me feel lonely after I have finally woken up from my thousand-year slumber. I will accept whatever you throw at me, give me your best.」
The monster sneers, opening its arms to make itself vulnerable and even closes its eyes.
I signal everyone with my eyes.
If it’s going to look down on us, then we’ll use that to our advantage.
「Then we’ll gladly……」
I give another signal.
「Oblige!」
Pipi, Luna and Ruby loose three arrows which are miniscule compared to the size of the monster’s body.
They almost look like needles when they prick the monster’s face――then they explode.
Sekrit’s special gunpowder vials were tied to them.
「Alice.」
「R-right!」
Alice waves her hand.
Flames appear in the air and spin as they collect in one spot to form a singular light.
「E-ei!」
The light floats right into the center of the monster’s torso and a second later, the surrounding ash and dirt ignites and melts.
Rocks glow bright red as they crumble away, and I can’t begin to imagine how high the temperature reaches.
Alice’s hair turns white and when the light fades, she runs over to me and Sekrit.
「You go for the legs, I’ll take the face.」
Sekrit uses my head as a launching pad and leaps.
I charge forward, stepping through the burning ground to unleash a full-powered attack on the monster’s shin.
At the same time, Sekrit steadies her prosthetic arm in midair and fires the cannon installed inside.
The cannonball leaves a white smoke trail as it flies right between the monster’s brows.
All our attacks hit their mark, perfectly.
「Oh……」
An anguished voice leaks from the monster.
「Weeds of ????, while I was sealed away, I can’t believe how……how……」
I keep silent with my Dual Crater drawn.
「How……weak you’ve gotten.」
I smack the pervert dragon awake, and swing my Dual Crater as hard as I can, yet not a single hair on its head is damaged.
The monster kicks me.
I get sent flying in the air like a toy ball and fall into the arms of Sekrit and Luna, who catch me.
「Damn monster, one more shot then!」
Sekrit reloads her cannon and fires it again.
「I’ve seen that trick already.」
The monster exhales.
The wind blown out is strong enough to send the cannonball back at Sekrit and it falls right at her feet.
「If you’re going to perform a trick, at least do this much.」
The monster swings one of its weapons.
Its shape is similar to that of a halberd except the tip is blue flame rather than a blade.
The slow swing doesn’t touch us at all.
But when the tip passes through, I stop breathing and my heart tightens.
「Gugh.」
Unable to even attempt to endure it, my body unconditionally collapses head-first to the ground.
Next to me, Sekrit and Luna also clutch their chest on the ground.
The monster’s level of strength is on another level.
It’s way beyond the gap between an elephant and an ant.
A better comparison would be if a human tried to fight a mountain or the river or a storm.
I hear a big sigh.
「So it was a waste of time. I had high hopes since you were having fun with my scions.」
The monster walks toward me, the ground shaking with each step.
I know that I’d be killed at this rate, yet I can’t move my arms or legs an inch.
「I’m curious about the way these rampant weeds have grown over these thousand years though. I’ll pick one for my seedbed.」
The monster pinches Sekrit who has fallen beside me.
Sekrit repeatedly closes her eyes, almost like she’s saying farewell.
「Mu.」
Sekrit is released.
The monster picks up Luna and Alice next, and both are quickly released as well.
「Which one should I choose?」
The monster compares Ruby and Pipi and in the end chooses Pipi.
Bastard, choosing the youngest.
「Pervert demon king……I won’t……lose to you……」
I force my motionless hand to prop my body up and I rest my weight on my powerless leg.
I expand my lungs even though no air is entering them and I restart the beating of my heart.
I don’t have a winning vision in my mind.
But I can swing my sword.
At least that would raise the chances of creating a miracle instead of simply laying down.
However, the last strength I muster up suddenly disappears, and I fall back down clumsily.
What’s strange this time, is that there is no hostility like before, and it feels more like the power is being entrusted to someone rather than it being stolen.
「-!?」
All of a sudden, the demon king chokes up right before taking Pipi away.
It seems to be genuinely astonished and not taunting the space-distorting presence.
「You, you, why do you have that!? Everything was burnt down!」
The black bean in my pocket shines brightly.
「Damn you ???――! Once again……once again you-!!」
The demon king forgoes Pipi and runs at me, trying to crush me.
I recall the legend Luna spoke about.
That’s right, this guy is the demon king, and this bean――
But I can’t throw it.
I don’t have any energy in my arm.
Sekrit and Luna are also lying face-down.
「Anyone will do.」
While laying on my back, I hold up the bean.
「You’ve got one more person, right here――」
I hear the sound of a footstep right by my ear.
「Here! Right here!」
The one who takes the bean from my hand is――Christoph.
I try to tell him to throw the bean, but no sound comes out.
Still, it seems he understood my intent.
With the bean in his hand, he runs at the demon king.
The demon king who dealt with us like insects backs away from Christoph.
The smirk on its face is replaced with an expression of terror, and a hand is stuck out as if to plead for Christoph to stop.
「Do it.」
Luna speaks in a hoarse voice.
「Go!」
Alice mutters from the ground.
「Go, Christoph!」
「Uoooooh!!」
Christoph roars and hurls the bean.
「Nooooo!」
The bean reaches the demon king.
Its ten arms are torn off and its armor-like skin peels off like paper.
The demon king falls flat on the ground.
Steam rises from all over its body as it writhes in pain, its face twisted with agony.
Before its eyes is my Dual Crater, which I dropped.
「Finish it off, Christoph!」
「Yeah!」
Christoph runs.
As frustrating as it is to admit, he is currently the hero who appeared in the legend.
He pulls the Dual Crater out of the ground and leaps toward the demon king――
――only to fall.
「H-heavy……I can’t move while holding this!」
「You weakling!」
I grit my teeth, ignoring the screams of my body, and stand up, then start running.
I grab the Dual Crater from Christoph and jump, using him as a platform.
「It’s not the coolest victory, but a win is a win. Evil should be vanquished.」
I drive the Dual Crater right between the eyes of the demon king.
The demon king’s body bursts and a red blood-like liquid rains down.
Black clouds which once covered the sky disperse, and the sun appears again.
（Damn you, weeds. I will appear again, in a thousand years, and next time, I will definitely-）
Slowly, the echoing voice in my head fades.
Simultaneously, I collapse after exhausting my strength.
「「「「「……」」」」」
Everyone except for Christoph also lies silently.
「Huh, am I supposed to carry everyone?」
Yep.
I can’t even turn my body.
「Eeeh……seriously?」
I’m counting on you.
Nobody aside from those here will know.
And even if we told others, they wouldn’t believe us, that we had a life-or-death battle here.
We might have actually saved the world.
「By the way, why are all of you here?」
Christoph opens his mouth.
「Celia told me to come. ……and in the worst case, use my body as a shield.」
That sounds like something she’d say, but why did he appear now?
It would have helped if he arrived sooner.
「Well, I was taking a break on the way and was attacked by black beasts. They stole my food and I ended up getting lost……so I couldn’t meet up and I thought I was going to be a goner too……」
This guy can’t do anything without screwing up.
Christoph manages to carry all of us onto horses but is fiddling with something else.
「Hey, there seems to be a sword, a shield, and some kind of cloak here, what should I do with them? They’re rainbow-colored, sort of transparent and wings are attached to them, and give off an amazing aura.」
「I’m too tired to care about that. I just want to go home……」
“It can’t be helped,” mutters Christoph.
「I guess I’ll keep them in the closet at my place. They look fancy, plus they might sell enough to pay off my tab at the bar.」
And so, we make our way back home.
————————————————————————————————
Later――
「I can’t move.」
「Same here on the right.」
It’s been several days since returning to the palace, and all the girls who accompanied me are still in bed.
「I can’t move a finger. My body feels like a rock.」
「Pipi can’t move either……」
When examined by the doctor, it seems everybody is just extremely fatigued.
That one attack by the demon king must have depleted their life energy.
「Hey, why are you standing like nothing happened?」
Sekrit barks, fixing her eyes on me.
「I was also like that the day after. But I recovered after sleeping for 24 hours.」
「Monster……hey, stop it! I said I can’t move! Don’t tickle me!」
I tickle Sekrit for fun as she curses at me.
The way her face warps while her body remains motionless is quite adorable.
「I’m getting horny.」
「You want to fuck a woman who can’t move, damn pervert?」
She beat me to the punch.
I better not.
「I didn’t say I was against it. Plus, after that life-threatening fight……I guess I’m also craving for a man.」
Sekrit’s eyes shift to the side as admits her desires.
「I’m also interested in doing it while I’m unable to resist.」
Luna blushes.
「Do it with me next to sis……」
Ruby mumbles.
「Pipi too!」
I have a bit of hesitation to do it with Pipi.
「And I also……um……」
Right when Alice awkwardly averts her gaze, the sky above the palace turns dark.
『Fufufu. Kuhahahahaha!』
It’s the familiar voice of the demon king.
I thought we got rid of him, what a pesky guy.
『You, you slept with a woman, didn’t you? Without realizing my curse!』
「What? So my unusually black penis was because of your curse?」
「No, that’s because you use it too much, lecher.」
Sekrit’s retort calms me down.
『My curse resides in the first seed that you shoot out. The rate of pregnancy is a frightening 100%, and the one who will destroy the world now grows in the womb of your beloved, tremble in fear! Gahahahaha.』
The demon king cackles and continues talking.
『Now tell me who it is? Who is pregnant with the demon’s seed? Who is the cursed woman who will give birth to the demon king?』
Alice makes eye contact with me and then awkwardly raises her hand.
「……despite that cute face, getting a head start?」
「Eep.」
Although Sekrit can’t move, her booming voice is still very intimidating.
『Fuhahahaha! I see, so it’s you! Now, be afraid of the demon spawn squirming in your belly! Despair at your fate of ushering in an evil being!』
However, Alice replies with a troubled expression.
「Err……I probably……won’t give birth……I think.」
『I told you, it’s 100% Using contraception, ejaculating outside or washing it out with lemon is meaningless.』
This demon king is quite vulgar.
「That’s not what I meant……he came……um……i-inside my butt.」
「So the black semen was cursed, huh? Phew, I thought I had some kind of disease, thank god.」
『……』
There was a brief moment of silence.
『You are man and woman! After defeating the demon king in a desperate fight, you’re supposed to confirm your love for each other! Why did you do it in the ass!? Shame on you, depraved human scum!』
「Sorry……」
「I’m sorry.」
I never thought I’d be scolded by the demon king about morals.
『I’ve had enough! I don’t care about this corrupt world! I will come again in a thousand years!』
The black clouds disappear, and the demon king is truly gone for good
「Well, shall we do it?」
「Yes. I’ll pretend to sleep, so please visit me at night.」
I nod at Luna.
「Pipi wants to be licked all over!」
I nod at Pipi.
「Then I want you to do it with my sister next to me without her realizing……while I can’t move.」
I nod at Ruby.
「……turn me on my stomach and enter from a different angle than usual.」
I nod at Sekrit.
It seems there will be peace in the world and in my life for a while longer.
————————————————————————————————
Side Side Story.
「Hey.」
Right when I yawn thinking it’s about time to sleep, I hear a voice from behind me.
It’s Brynhildr.
「Hm, how rare. What’s wrong?」
Brynhildr pats the bed, telling me to sit down, and I do as I’m told while she is turned in the other direction.
「About the building detached from the palace. The one used by the escort squad. You know room number 35?」
「35……if I recall correctly, that one is Christoph’s room.」
I remember because I go there for drinks sometimes.
「Recently, I’ve been feeling a tremendous presence within the closet of that room. It’s on the level of a high-ranking god……at first it was three separate entities, then it became two. The other one went to a pawn shop in the city.」
「Even if you ask me, I don’t know anything about that.」
I don’t think Christoph has such impressive objects.
「More importantly, if you’re free, listen to my heroic tales.」
I tell her about the demon king subjugation.
Brynhildr closes her eyes and listens seriously……but keeps her guard up.
「You don’t believe me!」
「Telling me to believe a ridiculous story like that? And that part about escaping a curse by ejaculating in her ass sounds like you’re fooling around! I bet you caught a weird disease, show me!」
If she won’t believe me, I’ll show her proof, not my dick.
I take out the bean from my pocket.
「What are trying to make me believe by showing me that horse turd?」
The moment Brynhildr disinterestedly touches the bean, it glows faintly.
「Ah.」
Brynhildr topples over on the bed.
「My power……is completely sealed……what is that……」
「Are you alright?」
I lay her in the middle of the bed.
「My life is not in serious danger……but I feel weak. Judging by experience, I probably won’t be able to move for a few days……」
If it’s not serious, that’s fine.
She’ll recover after sleeping.
「By the way.」
I gently stroke Brynhildr’s hair.
Brynhildr looks at me dubiously and then she realizes my intentions.
「You’ve learned another weird play again? Is it fun toying with women who can’t move!?」
I apologize with a chuckle, trying to gloss over the issue.
If she is really against it, I’ll focus on nursing her.
「I didn’t say no. In the meantime, I’ll pretend that I’m crying in frustration……about an imaginary fiance, so be as clingy or rough as you want.」
I wonder if girls like this kind of play too.
Anyways, it seems things will be peaceful for some time.
Comment (0)