3 bar menu

ShangriLa Frontier Chapter 363 Part 1

ShangriLa Frontier Chapter 363: Can’t Put Doors In the People’s Mouths Part 1

「Ah, umm, and who might you be……?」

「Ah! Yes, that’s right, this is the first time that you witness me in this particular form. Please rest assured, Your Majesty, for it is I – Sanraku.」

「Oh my!」

I quickly try to engage in some much needed role play here, at the same time trying to prevent Deepslaughter from taking pictures of my current form from some very questionable angles. Cut the shit, dude! I’m going to deliver Divine Punishment on your ass later if you keep doing that!

「So…… Umm, does that mean that you are actually a woman?」

「No, not quite. You see, I am a male, but…… the nature of some of my powers allow me to change my gender. It is rather complicated, so it’s best that you do not concern yourself with small details here, Your Majesty.」

「Hey, Sanraku-kun? Those words just now sounded really juicy! I want to know more! Will you tell me? Please? Pretty please?」

「Shut the fuck up! (Doing my best to make that sound like some random background noise).」

「Ugh, uhehehe…… That’s it. Some tough love here and there, and before long you are going to be falling for me head over heels……」

I see that keeping the secrets of Kutanid’s battle are becoming more and more troublesome to be kept as secrets as the time goes on. Usually when someone asks me that question I outsource it to Pencilgton, but right now I have no such comfort available to me. But you know what? Keep eating and playing with phallic shaped objects in this game, Deepslaughter, and you might just score yourself a gender change, you sick pervert!

「Above all else, I am so glad to see that you are unharmed and well, Your Majesty. I am most terribly sorry that it took us so long, but now…… Yes, we somehow managed to do it.」

「Hmm, I see, I see…… It is certainly a strange experience to hear someone who was a man not too long ago speak with a woman’s voice, but…… Oh well, I am glad to see that you are okay as well.」

You know, I’m going to be back to normal when I die once here, but there is literally no merit in telling you that.

However, it could certainly be said that the fact that we managed to win this raid boss battle and that the losses on our end were so minimal was nothing short of a miracle here. However, it can also be said that we have made quite the detour thanks to that. To be perfectly honest with you, now would be a good time to log out and for me to catch some much needed break here…… You know what? Let’s do just that.

「And that is why I would like to have a short break here.」

「……? ……???」

「Oi, oi! Are you kidding me!? You want to have a break here and now of all places!? Why don’t you learn to read the mood a little bit!?」

「But it’s true that I am logged in for quite some time now and I would very much enjoy a proper break at this point.」

「Hey! Are you reading my thoughts or something!? Better stop doing that! I’m going to sue you for invasion of privacy!」

「As much as I would love to say yes here, such scenario is too good to actually be true.」

When it comes to dealing with human beings and the problems related to them, there is no such thing as one correct answer. Also, it can be said that when dealing with other human beings, reality can be often disappointing.

And that it exactly why I asked the People of the Forest to make a temporary save point for me so that I could rest. I then logged out of the game and took a break that lasted for about an hour or so.

「Wolfgang’s Group Chat」

Pencil Warrior: Ah, this is the ultimatum, by the way. Just be a good boy and fess up every single thing that you did earlier.

Katsu: Yeah, you do that. Then, the council will go easy on you…… probably.

Pencil Warrior: Failure to do so will be met with some horrible sanctions, so please choose wisely here.

Aktisu Akane: Yeah, what he said!

Rust: Anything specific in mind?

Pencil Warrior: Something so horrifyingly unique and terribly specific that even the zombies from the ending of the Edo period would shudder just thinking about it.

Kyogoku: Hey, you’re welcome……

Sanraku: The hell? It’s not even a minute after I log in and everyone starts to gang up on me? What gives? Some sort of Log In Divine punishment?

Kyogoku: Say what now?

Sanraku: Nothing. It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. Anyways, was there any announcement from the admins to the entire playerbase?

Pencil Warrior: Oh, so you are going to share something juicy with us completely on you own? Progress.

Katsu: For you to be doing something like that…… Is it something bad? Or maybe you are feeling sick?

Sanraku: Bitch, at least try to get on my level of Uniqueness before you start to talk shit to other people, why don’t you? (Tremble)

Katsu: I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just that messing with you is always so fun to do.

Rust: Good thing that Mold is not here. The amount of tension hanging in the air here is so high that he would have become useless for about half a day or even more. You guys are seriously dangerous.

Pencil Warrior: Seriously? We are dangerous? That’s actually rich coming from someone who’s…… Nevermind. Let’s just say that we all are equally as specific here and move on. …… Library seems to be especially noisy as of late.

Sanraku: No, wait a goddamn moment, this time around it’s not my fault.

Sanraku: Let me be perfectly clear here: this time around I was seriously a mere slave to the circumstances at hand. Nothing more and nothing less.

Katsu: And let me say this here: you seem to be like some sort of a black hole. No matter where you go, you always pull trouble and crazy events your way.

Sanraku: Isn’t it just sad, being compared to a satellite that is so unique? And how do you feel, always being piggybacked by someone quite like that?

Katsu: Awfully bold of you to say something like that knowing out history of “Crap” together.

Sanraku: Hey, you are the one who brought it up, not me. So suck it up.

Pencil Warrior: Alright you two, if you want to have a fight, then why don’t you schedule something for a later date? We have more pressing matters to attend to, as you may all know.

Pencil Warrior: So, how was it?

Sanraku: Whatever do you mean by that?

Pencil Warrior: The raid boss battle. As far as we all know, they have behavioral patterns that are all set and they can just repeat themselves, right?

Pencil Warrior: I bet that if you were to go to the Library with some juicy info like that, you could have gained a whole lot of money out of them.

Sanraku: I wonder about that. I get the feeling that the general patterns may be the same every time, but there are bound to be some differences with each version, depensing on the situation.

Rust: What’s “Crap”……?

Sanraku: But be that as it may, you would need at least a party of thirty people to be able to pull it off.

Katsu: Say the guy who managed to do that with a party consisting of only three people.

Sanraku: No, it was not only that. We used the help of a whole lot of NPCs, plus we also had a really powerful monster helping us out this time around.

Sanraku: But as a matter of fact, yes: there were only three players involved in this battle.

Akitsu Akane: I think that it is still amazing of a feat to accomplish!