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Chapter 335

Chapter 335: Getting a sixteen-for-quite-awhile outbreak right after the Eternal Seventeen emerged, this world is having it rough

Day 80 – Morning, White Weirdo Inn

Simply state things as they are, simply convey the truth as it is. That is the key to escape the vicious circle of false accusations. Therefore, I must advocate for my innocence!

「No, it was you who started it by using the『Divine Chains of Prometheus.』to tie up and restrain a high school boy, leading to multiple instances of assault and abuse! Huh?! A-a double tehepero!? Well, it’s fine, but since you started it, I just retaliated, and now it’s turned into an endless chain reaction of innocent, continuous counterattacks. The high school boy in me couldn’t help but react to this wonderfully lewd biological response, and, well, putting aside the issue of Pavlov’s dog abuse, the combination of confined reflexes and backlash led to a series of sequential and continuous highschool boy reactions. It’s like a rebellious, wild phase of high school boy behavior, culminating in an intermediate reaction that eventually becomes a dangerous, fantastic contact reaction. It’s an inevitable, high-purity, concentrated chemical reaction of highschool boy desire energy. So, to put it simply and exclude the scientific language, in purely literary terms, I did nothing wrong, okay? Sort of?」

Hm? An emotionless Flat Gaze. It seems that my clear and logically structured, then built, evolved, transformed, and ultimately fused theory based upon astonishingly sound logic was rejected? After all, the response I mean, they are just staring at me in response. Thanks!

「My head, is, going crazy! Heaven, or, hell, pure blank? It, is.」

「I was going to die!
Even though I’m undead!
I was going to die, even though I’m already dead!」

(Jingle-Jingle)

「Ah, Morning, Slime-san. You are very jiggle today as well?」

(Shake-Shake!)

「「Listen to us!」」

Hm? I’ve provided a clear and obvious explanation of my complete and total absence of any wrongdoings, but they are still mad? How puzzling, how quizzical, even though my innocence was clearly revealed, explained, and proved, it is still questioned. How strange.

Now, today they requested pancakes for breakfast. How come the girls reply before the kids on questions of orphans wants remains an unclarified issue, but in a certain sort of way I kind of do not feel like they can’t be considered orphans in this world, if one is to consider the definition in a broader sense? And they are underage too. But it also seems like they are now thinking that they can just add 『Onii-chan』to their lines? It’s been 2 months since we came here, so some of them are legitimately older than me!

I’ve considered throwing birthday parties, but the calendar in this world is such a pain. They apparently decide if the new year came by position of the sun, so it seems like they don’t know in advance? A few days in they’d announce 『Oh, it’s the third day of new year』, without even bothering to settle on how many days each year is supposed to have. So there is no concept of a month, and speaking of lacking concepts, there is also no concept of moon circle, or rather the moon itself? There is no satellite here?

So it looks like we won’t get to enjoy the moon viewing anymore. The girls might be missing the moon, but I don’t think they will complain against having dangos anyway.

However, to make things more complicated, there seems to be another sun far away. I thought it might be a moon, but this explains why it’s always a “full moon”. I always wondered about nights being so bright here, but turns out it’s a never-ending day, what a confusing world! Well, be it a moon or a sun, as long as they get dangos they aren’t going to complain. As long as there are enough dangos that is.

And it’s just my guess, but two suns might also be the reason for a different number of days in each year. And perhaps that is also the reason why there are no clearly defined seasons. The are only vaguely recognized as alternating cold and warm periods. The next season is supposedly going to be a warm one, but it doesn’t get that cold even at night in this world, so there is no issue with being lightly dressed all year long. The day I can hit it big with winter clothing is quite far.

And so, as I gazed at the sky, pondering the academic level of another world in regards to astronomy while also contemplating the sauce for my dango, it seemed the lecture was still not over? They are going about a danger to their lives, but I’m pretty sure both of them are immortal in some form? Considering their previous occupations?

The life of an immortal could be sad in its own way, being a never ending streak of farewells, but it’s a completely different story if they have each other. Completely different from being totally alone. And even Slime-san is a mysterious life form of uncertain lifespan and shape, which seems like it will live for a long time or even indefinitely. So the three can soften each others solitude by a lot.

The pres and others should have pretty long lives ahead as well. Raising levels slows down aging, extending lifespan. In other words, forget birthday parties, most of them aren’t going to hit even seventeen for quite a while. Aside from me, everyone is alright, you know?

Getting a sixteen-for-quite-awhile outbreak right after the Eternal Seventeen emerged… This world is having it tough. I mean, there is no way that problem has any prospects of ever getting resolved?

As I was being lectured, I finished mixing and kneading the batter, and as I moved to cooking pancakes with the still incredibly rare butter, the intensity of the lecture began to fade. Their eyes were glued to the pancakes, and drool was trailing from the corner of their mouths. Well, they were drooling last night too? In quite a few ways?

Ah, let’s wash the sheets. They are still in that sopping wet state.

　「「「「Let’s dig in.」」」」

A ravenous crowd of starving children devouring pancakes. Didn’t you guys eat until you collapsed last night, mumbling, 『I can’t eat another bite』? Did you unlock the skill 『Digestion』! I’m pretty sure it comes as a combo deal with 『Absorption』so ONE MORE SET!

Giving extra servings to Slime-san and the Idiots every time is a pain, so I just made them piles up to the ceiling. Which was a bit of a waste since the plates cracked under the weight of pancakes.

Slime-san is eating while levitating through the use of 『Floating』, but the Idiots came up with their own idiotic solution, and devouring pancakes from atop a tower of chairs stacked up to the ceiling of the dining hall… Did they escape from some sort of a circus?

As expected, using a stepladder or other convenience of civilization was too much for them. Even though one was casually placed nearby, they couldn’t get a hint. Even so, I sort of thought they’d just jump and cling to the ceiling, but the Idiots demonstrated capability to use tools after all! Perhaps after some 10,000 years of evolution they might even learn the difference between tableware and weaponry. Well, with them using boomerangs as table knives and daggers as forks there is no real prospect of them developing a civilization. Maybe it would be better to release them back into the wilds after all?

「So, Kemomimi Girls! Spill it! Spill everything! I’m going to barbecue you if you don’t!」

「Don’t shout spit up during a meal!」

「There’s nothing! It were just simple thanks!」

「I see, nothing about the godly fluffiness after all… orz」

「I didn’t get even a single touch of kemomimi…」

Looks like we were brainwashed by false information. Apparently the legend that kemomimi girls would let you fluff them after being rescued was just an empty myth!

「But there were cute kemomimi girls, right? Aah, it seriously pissed me of that you were getting to meet cute kemomimi girls while I was getting chased around by middle-aged men! Can I incinerate you after all?」

「Please don’t. Or rather, you got yourself a cute Dancing Girl-san, what are you even complaining about!」

「And we didn’t even exchange a single word with kemomimi girls… but you got her Tamed!」

「Haruka-kun is the only person in this word who has absolutely no right no envy us!」

「Sexy bunny girls. With round tails.」

「「「For real?! Wait, where did you see that! GJ!」」」

Oh my goodness, there was a bunny beastkin. Moreover, the gestures indicate that she possessed the glamorous bombshell figure. And that gorgeous kemomimi bunny girls-san was even was equipped with a cute round bunny tail!

「A supposedly herbivorous bunny… But her figure was super carnivorous! 」 [1]

「Certainly, that bounce was out of this world… And her ears were bouncing too. 」

「I’m telling you, those curves are the natural charm of beast girls…」

「Yeah, with the way their hips lift slightly and that little round tail sitting neatly…」

「Maaan! Hey, I just remembered that I forgot a certain something in the beastmen country, so I’ll be right back? Adios Geegos?」

「「「What do you mean forgot, you never even went there! And who the hell is Geegos?」」」

Ah, which reminds me, I don’t even know where the beastmen country is located? I saw the map, but maps of this world are hardly reliable. And they didn’t even mark the Usamimi Points! What a completely useless map, it’s missing the most critical information! It must have been drawn by some old man who’s lost all his hair. Should I just burn him to ashes along with the map?

「But, letters are more than enough… They were really scared. They had their families killed by humans, but went out of their way to say thanks anyway, so that alone is enough.」

「「「Yeah, that is no way to start a romantic comedy.」」」

Well, even if there was a room for rom-com development, these guys would certainly quickdraw no scope any romantic prospects the moment they popped up… Quite contrary, not trying to approach them was the true kindness in this case.

Hard work and diligent effort is the most beautiful thing they can produce here.

There are a high school boys, who’d invade and ravage the person’s mind while wearing the most over the top chuuni eyepatch, and having the victim bound in sinister chains, robbing them of all will freedom to place the most vile and foul choker on their neck, all to force them under his control, an absolutely worst way to start off an acquaintance in terms of Affection Rating, still manages perform a miracle comeback with nothing but a single crepe, taking it to sexy scenarios. There’s even a high school boy who, after enduring relentless hardship, pressing on through bitter trials, exhausting every last option, honing himself through endless struggles, and finally reaching well-earned peace after countless ordeals, managed to overcome it all through sheer determination, so I’d wish they really learn a thing or two from his example? But yesterday, that very person got tied up in chains and assaulted? I’m not joking?

Actually, there was a suggestion to provide assistance to Beastemen Country. The stronger the Beastmen Country is, the safer the Kingdom will be, the less beastmen end up as slaves, the less profit the Theocracy and the Confederation are going to make. Benefits all around. But I don’t like the Beastmen Country, that’s why I didn’t go along, but… Perhaps I should go and take a look for myself. A look is worth a thousand words? Like, round tails? Wait a moment? How did that Ninja-kun manage to see a tail of that cute bunny kemomimi girl? Yeah, lets burn him later after all. As one great mohawk person of old said – Filth (Geeks) requires disinfection (incineration).

But those guys, I thought they’d be fine with the people from this world. But turns out, no. They give sweets and souvenirs to the Poster Girl, and then just stand off to the side, smiling and watching? Just like some sort of a fan club, zero attempts to even have a conversation… Looks like they can’t make it in this world as well. As humans.

But this world is full of hardships. For example, the girls who had collapsed from eating too much are now fully recovered and have me completely surrounded in lecture mode. Looks like I still haven’t developed any resistance to being scolded. I bet they caught sight of that bombshell gesture!

Alright, let’s run away!

TL Notes: [1] As in, she had a very sensual figure.