Chapter 378
Day 89 – Morning, Evil Forest
A demon realm. Beyond this point lies the world of monsters, and the Evil Forest is its very boundary. To step into this forest is to step outside the realm of humanity, it’s not human territory anymore, but the domain of monsters. Beyond here lies a place divorced from human reason, a chaotic land swarming with creatures! …Or so they apparently teach new recruits in the Adventurer’s Guild. But people actually live here, so that kind of talk gives the wrong impression, and the reputational damage is seriously out of hand. There is even an actual road, you know?
「It wouldn’t be wrong to show deep, ocean-wide gratitude to the hard-working Demon Scythes who cleared the path this far, and to the diligent and good Highschool Boy-san who even paved it, and yet just yesterday, that same industrious Highschool Boy-san, working away on his side hustle as a swimwear crafter, was subjected to unreasonable violence and got badly beaten up? Yeah, that really hurt!」
There is a road going through the Evil Forest with the surrounding trees, and also monsters cleared out. After wiping out the forest’s expanding zone of influence, the Demon Scythes-sans opened up the trail for picnicking purposes. In exchange, they demanded a ton of sweets! I wonder what happens when a scythe gets fat?
Swayed gently in a carriage, not that it really sways, we continue through the forest, heading for our cave-home hidden within. While everyone’s busy praising the Demon Scythes and handing out snacks, apparently no one is going to praise the Highschool Boy who paved the road?
「Haruka-kun, why is there a dappled-sunlight stone-paved path running through the Evil Forest? I’m surprised, but I bet the monsters are even more surprised~?」
We invited Meripapa-san and Murimuri-san as well, well, more like we figured we might as well invite them while we were at it yesterday. The head of the frontier orphanage is Murimuri-san, and the one running it is Meripapa-san. It’s probably a good idea to have them get along with the Orphans, and besides, I did kind of build a house out here in the frontier without asking anyone, so it’s a good chance to invite them and turn it into an acknowledged fact.
「We came through here aiming for the city, didn’t we~? Since when it turned into a sightseeing spot?」
「Yeah, this is the route. We all made it through the forest together, and now it’s suddenly paved.」
「It was such a daring escape through a monster-filled forest… And now it’s a casual day trip? I mean, they even thinned out the nearby woods, that’s some serious attention to detail!」
The girls must be feeling nostalgic too. They look around the forest, chatting among themselves. For security, I deployed six Shoulder Guard funnels to protect the carriage’s surroundings, but it’s a peaceful, tranquil journey, and the Orphans seem to be enjoying it too.
「Is it okay that the kids’ first forest experience to be the Evil Forest…?」
「Not ideal, it’s not like the Frontier has any other forests?」
「Especially the Royal Capital group, they’re city kids, so they’re excited, huh?」
The poster girl and Stalker GIrl who tagged along for the pool both seem to be enjoying their first Evil Forest sightseeing trip. Light streaming through the thinned, maintained forest, moss and mushrooms covering the trees, together they create a graceful play of light and shadow. Passing along towering ancient trees standing solemnly we make our way through the unexplored region of the Evil Forest, travelling on the stone-paved path. However, I can’t quite accept the fact that the place I used to live is officially designated as an 「unexplored region」I mean, didn’t we all come through here together? Right through here?
「Okay then, we’ll stop the carriage up ahead at the forest park and take a little break for breakfast~」
「「「「Okaaaay!」」」」
「Wait, who the heck went and built a forest park inside the Evil Forest?! What about the monster’s living space?!」
Sadly, the monsters were likely wiped out along with the surrounding trees before they ever got a chance to protest. It’s called a park, but it doesn’t seem to be all that public. The world’s a harsh place.
「「「「Itadakimasu!」」」」
The Orphans and starving classmates charge into the sea of sandwiches lined up in massive quantities. Since tight spats are nowhere to be absent today, even the boys are actively participating.
「By the way, the swimsuits are made to fit exactly, so if you can’t fit into them, that’s on you, okay? And it’s a bikini, so your stomach’s totally exposed, full-on, unlimited tummy?」
「「「Don’t say that! We’re planning to swim it off, so it’s fine!」」」
They may plan to burn calories, but there’s no sign of dietary restraint. It’s an endless, unwinnable war, but considering their figures are actually improving, maybe it’s not entirely wrong. Other worlds are surely nice?
Once breakfast wraps up, we pick up the pace and head toward our cave-home in the forest. But even though the Royal Guard Division has come to the frontier too, the 「Deluxe Rolling SP Model: Gorgeous Edition Special Hospitality Carriage for Lovely Lady Knights」 still hasn’t had a single lady knight show up? I’ve heard women take a while to get ready, but this is way longer than I expected.
The otherworld group, Royal Girl, Maid girl, Merimeri-san, and Elven Little Sister Girl, are probably seeing a pool for the first time. They’ve gone totally stiff. That’s not good. They’ll need to do a warm- up stretch.
「「「「What is this massive attraction?! This is on a totally different scale than we imagined!」」」」
「Well, I mean, a pool that can be enjoyed by people over level 100 kind of has to be this big, right? Plus, with like a hundred orphan kids, even the shallow pool has to be pretty big. And water slides take up space, right? You need elevation, so I figured, while we’re at it, let’s build a hill, and then a flowing slide, and then that leads straight into a lazy river pool, and then it loops around into a circular pool? Sort of?」
Yup, doing things while the chance presents itself means you get more done with the same amount of labor cost, and your plans naturally expand. It often leads to going a bit overboard before realizing it, but anyway that’s what we got. A waterproof fabric-made float rings mass-produced, plus waterproof boats and floating beds. By the poolside, I’ve lined up chairs and tables, made of wood, trying to give off that high-end Bali resort vibe? And I even went out of my way to weave sofas in a water hyacinth style. A real masterpiece!
From there, the girls went around the pool with the Orphans in tow, sliding down the water slide and drifting along in the lazy river. Meanwhile, the idiots kept diving off the high platform endlessly, guess they really do love high places. Poor Smoke-san must be seriously annoyed to be lumped in with them.
A riot of colorful bikinis all around, showcasing every kind of variety and bounce imaginable, it’s chaos in motion. I really did great job~.. A dazzling bloom of vibrant colors in full bloom, but even more blinding than all that color is the constant motion of bare skin swaying back and forth right in front of me.
「「「Let’s go on the water slide!」」」
「「「Agreed!」」」
Water splashes up, and thighs burst forth in a dazzling, unrestrained display. Beads of water glisten on bare, exposed skin, as their soaked bodies leap and frolic like they’re about to explode from sheer energy.
「Let’s take the floating island float with us!」
「「「The boat too!」」」
Over in the shallow pool, the swim club is holding a swimming class for the Orphans, and even the Royal Girl, Maid girl, and Merimeri-san have joined in… not as instructors, but as students. If you can’t swim, did you really need a fully custom-tailored bikini?! Armored Pres-san and Dancing Girl-san have joined in too, apparently aiming to master the crawl stroke.
The Poster girl and Stalker Girl also seem to be joining the class. Since using Magic Hands for measurements would’ve been problematic, they got semi-custom separate-style swimsuits. No direct measuring was done, but I used Rajingan to gauge their sizes and crafted the suits accordingly, these aren’t something you can just buy off the rack. And unlike the high-level girls, they’re not so physically overpowered that a non-fully-custom design would risk tearing, so they should be just fine.
I’d assumed the otherworld group was just bad at swimming, but then, bam! Elven Little Sister Girl is gracefully doing butterfly strokes in the competition pool! Forest Elves are not to be underestimated!
Meanwhile, the Geeks are taking a break in deck chairs after just five minutes. Are you guys seriously high schoolers? Where is your youthful energy?! Are you actually middle-aged men? They look sort of exhausted? At the same time, the actual middle-aged man, Meripapa-san is flirting in the jacuzzi with Murimuri-san. Let’s blow it up later.
When I thought about swimming too and approached the pool, I spotted a sign on the poolside that read: 「Tentacles Prohibited」? Is this part of some growing anti-tentacle sentiment? Also: 「No squirmy-squirmies!」 and 「Lotion Dumping Forbidden」, who even put these signs up?! Not that I was going to do any of that, but still, come on?
I let a floating bed drift across the pool and lie there gently bobbing with Slime-san. Then, the Orphans, having quickly mastered swimming with kids’ terrifying learning ability, come charging toward me with crawl strokes! Wh-what is this?! A new technique, Orphan Torpedo?! Tch, I’m completely surrounded.
Don’t panic. Focus. Underwater, mobility is reduced and brute numbers win. I have to move beyond the water, command the water! Interfere with it, seep into it, spread my mana through it, 『Hold』the pool water. All that’s left is to shape the flow using water magic!
「Spiral forth! Become a vortex of water and sweep away the Orphans! New spell: Spiral Wave! …Okay, it’s just a water magic stream, but still, full rinse cycle for the Orphans incoming!」
「「「It’s dangerous! They just learned how to swim! Don’t just randomly throw waves and whirlpools at them!」」」
Overprotective Bikini Guardians surrounded me, complaining. Considering that there is no 『accident reveals』even in this water current the swimsuits turned out alright. But they are so close! Actually, they are pushing against me!
「You don’t have to worry about anyone drowning with Tentacle-sans around, you know? Rajingan-san is scanning everything in 360 degrees, so the monitoring is flawless, and with Wisdom checking each person’s status individually, it’s a safe and secure spiral pool. Tentacles are squirming and are on standby at the bottom, ready to go at any time! Sort of?」
「「「「We put up a sign that says Tentacles Prohibited! And before talking about rescuing, don’t drown people in the first place!」」」」
Apparently not allowed. Even though the Orphans are having the time of their lives riding the big wave, the high school girls with no sense of fun are mad? Also, they’re too close, and they’re totally bumping into me, so please don’t surround me like that. Or I’m going to become a Highschool Boy who can’t get out of the pool? In more ways than one?
「Ehh~? This was supposed to be an underwater Operation Wiggle-Wiggle Honor Restoration Plan where Tentacles heroically redeem their unjust reputation through life-saving efforts in the whirlpool, in their usual squirmy fashion~?」
「We drowned in a tub because of that squirming! We weren’t rescued, we got drowned! That wriggling things aren’t lifesavers, they culprit behind mass maiden murder!」
Multicolored patterns created with transfer-printing techniques: red, blue, yellow bikinis, mixed in with floral and polka-dot ones, all squishing together while a full-on lecture is in progress. The contact has already gone beyond 「too close」, it’s soaked bare skin, full press, everywhere. A full-blown 「Eek! It’s nothing but swimsuits!」 high school girl underwater shoving match WITH scolding, FEAR drifting Orphans, it’s absolute chaos.
「「「Onii-san! More!」」」
「Spin, Orphans! Spin! Rise beyond this swirling torrent and brave the raging waves, come forth~! I guess~?」
「「「「Kyaa~ we’re spinning~!」」」」
Yeah, they’re definitely enjoying this? From an objective standpoint, it’s a delightful squishy sensation, but a Highschool Boy has no mental room for objective analysis here. Rather, who’s wrapping their legs around me?! And hey, someone’s thighs are rubbing against me! Actually, wait, not there! This is no longer the innocent oops, accidental contact stage, we’ve reached full-on squish and crush level. It might sound like it’s the next tier skill, but it’s really just an aggressive form of crushing to death?
「「「「We told you not to spin them! No whirlpooling!」」」」
「Whoa, okay, I get it, I’ll stop, so let’s stop? No, wait, it’s the same but also different? I mean I’m stopping the current, so let’s please bring an end to this bikini pervert pandemonium, okay? I did everything in my power to prevent wardrobe accidents, so don’t push for incidents?」
With no proper equipment, all I had were a dozen Tentacle-sans. The pool is so huge, but even so, they got banned. It was pressure from tentacle discrimination groups! I couldn’t fight back against oppressive in your face suppression, so I had to cave in, quite frustrating.
And then, lunch was BBQ! When you go camping, it’s gotta be BBQ! Even if it’s not an ocean and just a pool, it’s still BBQ! Meat and mushrooms, BBQ! There are shish kebabs over there too, but it’s still BBQ! Even the rice balls are grilled on the fire, BBQ style!
「「「「Itadakimasu!」」」」
When I first saw them, their skin was dark and grimy. But after a bath, once they were clean, they turned out shockingly pale. Now, they eat well, look healthy, and have color in their cheeks, but their skin is still fair. Even after coming to the frontier, they’re still always trying to work hard and never just play. Even after their chores are done, they’ll help out at the inn. That’s not what makes a good child. A good kid isn’t one who just does good things, it’s one who plays until they’re exhausted and smiles from the heart. They grew up in the dim alleys of the capital’s slums. If they’ve come all the way to the frontier only to keep working in town, that’s just wrong. So I’ll make sure they play until they drop! Even if they drown a bit or get scraped up, it’s fine, just let them play! Let them eat their fill, then play even more, and play until they’re completely worn out. Let them collapse on the way home with the biggest smiles on their faces!
So let’s make sure they eat well, because there’s still plenty of today left.
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