Chapter 396
Day 92 – Nighttime, White Weirdo Inn
Today, the only loot was the drop from the 94th floor’s Dungeon Master-san. There weren’t even any armed monsters, and no hidden rooms either, a poor Dungeon among poor Dungeons. The super-broke Dungeon’s Dungeon Master-san was a 『Crystal Gargoyle Lv94』 all glittery and beautiful, scattering splashes of crystal, filling the world with dazzling radiance. Well, if put into easy to understand terms, it got smashed and slashed to bits in a sparkling explosion of crystal powder. Looked beautiful, but got totally smashed.
There weren’t any particularly dangerous skills, and it wasn’t shrouded in darkness either. Even if it had been a little risky, the two’s armor had been upgraded, and I’d already fed Slime-san some refined mithrilized holy silver and the last bit of black gold, so their defenses and resistances should’ve been enhanced, and once I left it to them, it was just a beating.
They were probably unhappy that I’d been fighting the Dungeon Masters solo lately, so they gave it a viciously thorough beating, as if to get back for all the fights they missed. There’s even a rumor that this was pretty much just venting for the last night. As I was thinking of that night like it was some beautiful dream, almost a mirage, and then out of nowhere, shards of crystal came flying at me like a barrage. They came flying with such force that midway through they broke the sound barrier and started trailing shockwaves. Yeah, I don’t think there is any chance that was a coincidence?
While dodging those stray shots, which felt more dangerous than anything the Dungeon Master-san was doing, I was spectating from the side, which turned out to be way more hazardous than actually fighting. Because they were deflecting the high-speed crystal bullets like billiard shots, perfectly syncing angles and timing to bounce them right at me. They were reading the trajectory of every single scattering shard, gauging direction and speed, calculating it all, and forecasting the interference timing. Using Future Sight, Rajingan-recorded data, and Wisdom’s high-speed computation, I ran parallel calculations for likely future outcomes and kept dodging. Yeah, I’m pretty sure actually fighting the Dungeon Master would’ve been safer!
Last night, the triple-layered sensitivity debuff turned their bodies into overly sensitive, selfish mess, and those tentacles with their utterly abominable transformations, wrapped around them with unrelenting depravity, twisting and shifting in monstrous ways that were equal parts revolting and strangely aesthetic in their mucous-soaked blasphemy. They stirred up that primal fear of unnatural creatures, wrapping, slithering, caressing, teasing, poking, and invading with their writhing chaos every inch inside and out until the minds of the two went empty, so they are probably pretty mad. I mean, even after they lost consciousness, their body stayed caught up in the aftershocks, twitching in that lingering ecstasy well into the morning, so they clearly didn’t recover from it even by the time the Sun came up?
In other words, the odds of revenge are high. Very high. Or rather, the possibility of there not being a revenge is zero. And judging by how wrecked they got last night, their revenge is bound to be extremely dangerous. I’d like to conserve MP and prepare for a defensive engagement, but the Geeks and Idiots are heading out with a business trip tomorrow. Well, the Frontier Dungeons are more profitable, so what they’re really after must be that classic 『Geeks and Idiots go on a coming-of-age boy-meets-girl journey』 stuff.
I want to entrust trade to the Geeks, and I’m also concerned about the defense of the Beastmen Country. Right now, the Confederation is collapsing, and since they already got burned at the Beastmen Country, they probably won’t make any moves on it. But there’s a possibility the Theocracy might try to make up for their losses through slave trading now that they’ve been cut off from the magic stone supply and can’t monopolize magical tool sales. Actually, it’s more likely than not, they’ll probably target this exact moment, now that their rival in slave trading, the Confederation, is out of commission. The Church’s equipment and magic tools are tricky, if I don’t equip them with anti-Church gear, it’ll be tough for just the four Geeks.
The Idiots seem to be planning to operate within the Eastern Territory and the Royal Capital, meaning, moving along the macho onee-sans group. While Reroreroing Middle-aged Man is also in the Capital and can handle assassinations and surprise attacks, if enemies came in numbers he might not have enough manpower to handle them. But if it’s the Idiots, numbers don’t matter, since they can’t count that high anyway. Even a top-tier martial artist might be able to take on five or ten people, but once it’s hundreds or thousands, they get crushed by mass. That’s how terrifying the force of numbers is. But with the Idiots, they can only count up to five, so whether it’s six or ten thousand, it’s all just 「a lot」 In other words, numerical advantage is neutralized by the Idiots’ intelligence stat!
So yeah, I’m updating the Geeks’ forest and sea warfare loadouts and the Idiots’ indoor battle equipment, but the self-destruct system wasn’t very popular. I put it right on the front of the armor in this totally 『DO NOT PUSH』 kind of design that really makes you want to press it, but no one did. I mean, it even looked like a fire alarm. You’re supposed to push those, right?
The Idiots will be fine with melee combat gear, casual clothing-style armor, and concealed weapons. There’s no point giving them complex specialized weapons, they won’t be able to handle them. I did hand them grenades and landmines just in case, but they were throwing the mines like frisbees with 100% accuracy, and then, obviously, chasing after them and blowing themselves up.
As for the Geeks’ forest combat equipment, the performance they need changes depending on whether they’re on offense or defense. Defense is their specialty, so that’s fine, but on offense, it matters whether they sneak in quietly or go in all at once, each requires different equipment. Well, I guess bazookas will do? There’s a confirmed rule that if you keep firing bazookas until your enemies are dead, they stop being enemies. So just in case, I’ll also give them wide-area anti-personnel missile launchers. With those, and also grenades, and landmines, they’ll probably manage. Honestly, stuff like this suits them way better than swords or magic. I mean, they really wanted to come to this world, but they’re kind of not suited for it. Is there a world where would they actually fit in?
Since it’s a ton of stuff, I made special storage bags just for the WMDs and labeled them with 『the Idiots』 and 『the Geeks』marks .Well, literally just wrote that on them, but it’s clear and easy to understand, so all good. With all this, they should be able to overwhelm even armies with pure firepower, but since this is another world where skills and stats exist, nothing ever goes according to plan. So I’m also reinforcing defense, installing emergency contingencies, and integrating auto-recovery effects, building it all up into a set of high-volume, large-scale destruction loadouts designed for both defensive and prolonged warfare.
「Yeah, even if it’s not the Geeks and Idiots, just the amount of explosives here is crazy. Won’t the entire issue be solved if we just throw all of this at the Theocracy and blow it up? I mean, we don’t need intercontinental ballistic range, I’m pretty sure I could take out the Theocracy’s grand Cathedral by simply Air Walking up to near the stratosphere and giving it a precise throw…」
(Bounce-Bounce)
Yeah, I get it, it feels like a waste since they’re one-use only. Though using magic stones would be a waste too, if we go with aerosol bombs or the like, we could trigger an open-air dust explosion and overwhelm them with pure destructive force. The tricky part would be refining ethylene oxide or propylene oxide to serve as fuel for the blast. If we could just locate natural gas, we could use Temperature magic to chill it to -162°C and liquefy it into LNG, then cause a gas explosion. With the detonation of an explosive vapor mix, the resulting explosion’s massive shockwave should blow everything away. Theoretically, it should generate pressures of up to 12 atmospheres and temperatures of 2500-3000°C, which skills or status boosts are unlikely to be able to withstand, and I also doubt any buildings in this era could survive that kind of force.
「Weapons of mass destruction, huh~? The name alone makes it sound like something that’ll get you in trouble if you casually toss it at people, but if I manage to make one, it’s the fastest and easiest method~. Ah, but right, Sister Girl’s comrades are also there… I’d definitely get scolded if I used one.」
(Jiggle-Jiggle)
Looks like I would get scolded indeed. Still, it’s easy. Protecting is inefficient, and even fighting is suboptimal. True efficiency lies in one-sided destruction. The only problem is the nuance of 『Weapons of mass destruction』 Maybe if we branded it more friendly fashion, like 『Geezer’s White Room Club Fan Appreciation Event, Now With Explosions!』 it might go over better. If not, maybe we could attach some 『Handshake Tickets with the Old Fart』 or something, might get a good reception that way. But even so, whether it’s natural gas, oil, or vapor bombs using ethylene oxide or propylene oxide, we run into problems with environmental destruction and pollution.
Honestly, I wish the Theocracy would just dig all that stuff up themselves, self-destruct, and host the 『Old Fart Fan Appreciation Day in the White Room, brought to you by the Theocracy』. That’d save us a lot of effort. Strangely, it’s always shouting about God the loudest who cling to life the hardest.
Anyway, the Geeks and Idiots are top priority. Because I kept putting it off since it was such a drag the deadline became tonight! But equipment-wise, they’re way safer than the Frontier. Compared to the diverse skills and attacks of Dungeon monsters, their gear quality is more than enough. Their anti-personnel gear was built up during wartime, and the current armor series is designed for Dungeon Master battles, so it should be more than sufficient. In fact, the casual clothes they wear when unarmored is probably the more important concern. But, I don’t enjoy making men’s clothes, I won’t even take measurements! Hard pass.
So let’s wrap this up quickly and move on to prepping the church people’s equipment. They might not realize it, but Sister Girl and the others are the ones in real danger. And not in proper combat in gear and stuff but during their daily life. So simply relying on equipment isn’t going to help. Hence, boot camp. If we don’t raise their levels and give them combat and self-defense skills, they’ll lose their lives the moment they return to the Theocracy. Therefore – boot camp!
Leveling up boosts combat power and physical stats, making it harder to die or be killed. On top of that, their bombshell bodies will gain even more dynamite appeal, it’s all positives. Most importantly, you can’t even use equipment unless your base level is high enough. Even the Orphans have been leveled into the double digits now. On the way to the Frontier, they were involved in a mass monster roadkill massacre. That’s how they got high enough to actually wear the equipment.
The equipment made to Frontier-level standards apparently counts as high-end gear outside, and if it’s just focused on defense and escape, it’s quite simple. The reason the Orphans’ gear took time was because miniaturizing and lightening the built-in recoilless annihilation-destruction-scatter-split multi-warhead missile launcher in their self-defense randoseru was a pain. But just that randoseru alone would be enough to wipe out any of the weak-ass armies outside the Frontier. The catch is, it uses loads and loads of rare and expensive materials like nothing, making them limited edition items that can’t be mass-produced. Still, if you had a hundred Orphans, they could probably wipe the Theocracy off the map with a rain of missiles. With gear that extreme, no one would dare try to kidnap them. In the Frontier, there’s always the risk of a monster stampede, so that kind of loadout is for caution’s sake, but for the Theocracy, lighter defense-focused equipment should suffice and can be made quickly.
Three-piece set dropped by Dungeon Master-san『Crystal Gargoyle』 is kind of a mixed bag. A crystal sword, a crystal armor, and if you order right now, also a crystal shield, or rather, we just picked them up, but it surely feels like a bargain offer, the issue being, the feeling is deceptive, since the effects are pretty meh. It’s one of those gear sets that only works in very niche situations, but its truly outstanding point isn’t the performance or effect, it’s see-through factor! Yeah, the armor is like glass, totally see-through. Sure, wearing it with nothing underneath would look amazing, but on the contrary, I’d highly recommend pairing it with some sexy black or red lingerie. It’s that kind of wonderful see-through armor. The crystal sword and crystal shield have some cool chuuni-style design going on too, but that’s beside the point! This is about the armor!
To add Auto Size Adjustment effect, mithrilizing is required. But there isn’t that much mithril left so it’s super valuable, but that auto-adjustment effect is essential for that tight-fitting sexy armor look. And this time, it’s see-through! Now is not the time to hold back, this is the moment to go all in!
This might be the best effect enhancement I’ve done so far. Sure, it had that attribute originally, but after layering one enchantment after another I reached 『Absolute Reflection』. You could say it’s the fruit of all that research into stacking sensitivity buffs from last night. THe two test subjects had… all sort of stuff exposed, spilled, and dripping out, but sacrifice is a necessary part of science. They were totally sobbing and screaming from the sacrifices, but they seemed like they were enjoying themselves, so it’s probably fine? I mean, they looked quite happy?
I also tried adding Magic Protection with a new technique. Protective barriers created with magic power always destroyed external equipment until now and couldn’t be applied to moving parts, so it had only ever been used practically with bikini armor. But thanks to this crystal armor, I had a total eureka moment and flipped the entire foundational idea. What once seemed impossible suddenly reversed direction, spun 360 degrees from a completely unreasonable premise, and viola, practical application.
Yes. 『If the outer clothing gets destroyed, then just destroy the inner clothing instead』 was the divine revelation, brought to me in a letter from Heaven’s M-san! That is, create a magic defense field inside the armor. Originally, even bikini armor relied on magic power shrouding the skin. That’s why anything touching the skin got destroyed. But if it’s projected internally, the body just wears it, so the body itself doesn’t break. It’s the things touching the body that get destroyed.
However, if the crystal armor itself gets destroyed, that defeats the whole point. So I ditched physical defense altogether and made it purely an inner-layer that mitigates only magic and shock via magic defense. To put it super plainly, just between us, it could’ve been basically just done by enchanted underwear. But if you wear innerwear, it ruins the whole beauty of the see-through crystal armor. So I added an 『innerwear destruction』 effect? Like? I kinda just wanted to see it? I mean, it’s see-through! I can’t help it, okay?!
「This isn’t really suited for combat, but maybe it could work if you’re aiming to be an invincible tank? But since mobility is sacrificed, you’d end up being the slow, defense-specialized rear guard, the kind that gets left behind while holding the wall. With this kind of gear if you attack the wearer it reflects back, so it may or may not have some use~? But not suure?」
(Jiggle-Jiggle)
Slime-san is awake and keeping me company, so this crafting work is more fun than usual today. It seems like it sleeps really well after eating a lot of monsters, so maybe there’s a pattern there. But if it didn’t eat enough, that’d be sad, so I’ll give it some sweets. I hand over leftover candy apples from the festival stand that didn’t sell out, and it starts jiggling with delight while eating, looks like it liked it.
And so, after loading up the Geeks and Idiots with tons of explosives and pouring new tech into the crystal gear, before I knew it, my MP was completely drained… Oh no, this is bad! Today’s gonna be bad! There’s no way I’m getting away unscathed from the backlash for last night’s raging storm of madness and ecstasy. I was supposed to prepare an ironclad defense and face them with unbreakable resolve… but I got carried away with see-throughness and ended up dumping all my MP into it… And now the door opens, and two bewitchingly beautiful ladies step in with seductive smiles… Heey, your eyes are scary though?
「Gyaaaaaahh! W-wait just a second… (*nom*) I’ve asked them to wait so many times, and they’ve never once waited! What even is a master?! (*plop*) Then… (*sluuuuurp*) waaa… (*squelch squelch squelch squelch*) guhaaaaah!! (*slurp slurp slurp, smack pop!*) ah…」
Looks like my MP management plan had been seen though by the enemy. This is… bad………… but also amazing? (*THUD*)
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