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Chapter 397

Day 93 – Morning, White Weirdo Inn

A healthy very early morning wake up with the early morning leaning more close to late night, even a bit earlier than before the dawn. To put it in an easy to understand way, I woke up early, planning to retaliate for yesterday, but Armored Pres-san and Dancing Girl-san also cunningly woke up with the idea of the early morning attack, so we are locked in mortal combat in the very morning.

My MP somewhat recovered, and I’m also wearing my items, but my opponents are two Dungeon Emperors. Six arms struggle for control, trying to hold down each other, with countless reaching tentacles getting shaken off in ultra high speed world of leisurely flowing time, both sides entangled, each working to pin the other down. A momentary pause in movement means getting done in, like, super done in, the first thing in the morning!

「No, like, turn-wise, it’s clearly the time for my crazy payback, so why don’t you back off here? The last night was so crazy that I’ve actually went unconscious from excessive overstimulation, so being a diligent Highschool Boy I have no other choice but to return the favor, getting all ready to go all out in the morning, so give me my turn?」

「「But we refuse! It’s always the Service Turn!」」

「A refusal! Or rather, you are getting too influenced by the girls, also, if the turn just keeps going forever, it’s not even a turn anymore? That kind of goes against the very basics of a turn-based system, turning into a real time strategy, so here you should surrender yourself to the morning impulses of the Highschool Boy, awaiting his chance for a ballistic payback revenge? In other words, let’s stick to our turns?」

To think I won’t be able to capture them even with this number of Magic Hands, as expected of Dungeon Emperor class. Reading ahead, they always strive for an advantageous condition and position, while coming at me from the most precise angles. While we parried each other’s hands, trading for advantageous openings, knocking aside whatever the other threw out, we tangled together, closing in and slipping from hold to hold until it shifted into full-on grapple. Even though contact should give me the advantage, I couldn’t press through in a two-on-one, and before I knew it they stole the superior position and drove me into a disadvantage. Pressed between the soft squishy and springy flesh, tangled up and pushed down, close-quarters combat was, after all, not in my favor, those squishy things were a real danger.

If I went all out, without conserving mana, and got them with a triple-stacked Sensitivity boost, then overwhelmed them with tentacle assault, I could win easily. However, if

burned through all my MP and failed to take down both of them, it’s obvious I’d end up suffering something so incredible I wouldn’t be able to become a groom anymore. I mean, even without seeing it with my own eyes, I already experienced those things last night!

「Come on, just look at those newly born tentacles, all shaking and trembling from earnest desire to get along? Don’t you have the generosity and open-mindedness to accept their feelings and get completely violated into blissful paradise? Can’t you understand this Highschool Boy’s feelings? 」

I can do it! The maelstrom of infinite tentacles, each shrouded in triple Sensitivity Enhancement, each with its own aberrant appearance, is relentlessly attacking in a frenzied assault. They do their best to escape the flood of tentacles, but they overwhelm their prediction abilities with sheer numbers, finally catching them by hands and feet, binding with their limbs spread apart, the tentacles of indescribable shapes get to feast on that defenseless flesh. Some, covered in mucus, are indulging in that tender flesh, crawling with their thousands slimy appendages all across the soft white and amber skin, while certain others, covered in beast-like hair, use their bristles like brushes to stimulate them. Driven mad by ten thousand different stimulations and a thousand different sensations all assaulting them at the same time they are reaching out their limbs from the sea of tentacles, only to be immediately engulfed by them again, soon erupting with screams of ecstasy. Wow, that’s crazy?

「This is bad! No, way, it, is, too much! AagghH…」

「Illegal, against the rules,
Prohibited, forbidden,
taboo incantations! —Kyaah….」

The aftermath of a battle is always gruesome. I mean, I also was in a pretty appalling state yesterday? The diligent hard working Highschool Boy was completely swallowed up by in a vortex of Endless Forever All Night Eternal violation they call service? Using that seductive flesh and all sorts of lewd techniques without mercy? In other words, given the transitory nature of things, it was inevitable things would transition into this? Sort of?

From between the countless grotesquely varied tentacles, a trembling, pure-white body writhes in obscene ecstasy, slick with slimy, its glistening skin twisting as it’s bound and toyed with by reptilian limbs. Beyond that, a pair of amber-hued, voluptuous thighs are mercilessly pried apart by numerous tendrils, tormented by squirming sea-anemone-like tips, as her body twists and spasms as if in a dance. Every sensation is fed back, converted into physical perception through a neural link, flooding the senses with delight and pleasure, a refreshing and exhilarating morning.

In a battle in the world of slow-motion, a single moment stretches into eternity, and the end feels more distant than forever. Extreme stimulation and pleasure, at their core, are merely electrical signals running through nerves, and this intense electric-like impulse keeps consciousness intact, sending wave after wave of sensory input to the brain like a tsunami. On top of that, weak electrical currents are being run through them for extra stimulation, but worry not, I’m also sending continuous 『Recovery』 and 『Regeneration』 so it’s a safe way to start a stimulating morning. They are kind of twitching, with tentacles all over them? Are they convulsing?

(Damages critical, two units currently undergoing recovery)

「So yeah, like I said last night, today we’ll be pelting the Geeks and Idiots with rocks, driving them away from the Frontier, after which we’ll take the Church Group for a nice Dungeon tour. It’s part of a currently ongoing campaign for a convenient Dungeon experience, think of it as a Dungeon Social Study Tour that doubles as level grinding and entertainment. But since the two lovely ladies who were going to dress up as bus guides are currently hopelessly incapable of getting up, due to being deeply moved by Highschool Boy’s overenthusiastic praise of their fantastic outfits, so that will have to wait for now. Once they’ve recovered, we’ll be starting our Dungeon-Tour-themed adventure. So we’ll be claiming one or two, or maybe more, shallow Dungeons, alright?」

The Geeks and Idiots’ journey arc begins. I’d like to go join the fluffiness too, but the Frontier’s still too busy right now. I’m jealous and resentful, so after seeing them off at the dock let’s sink their ship. I even redesigned the torpedoes last night into chain-exploding magic oxygen torpedoes, so the farewell is all prepped. Yup, a farewell for the afterlife.

「I’ve already heard about power-leveling plan for Arianna-san and the others, and I’m all for it, but I’m worried about the person in charge, you know?」

「Yeah, for a guide to be the person always getting lost or going on wild rampages~ well, it’s the best option safety wise, but mentally the biggest threat?」

「There are the other two, so it will be fine …Wait, those two took severe damage in the early morning battle, is this really okay?!」

「Dungeon social study? What are you even gonna learn from monster society inside a Dungeon? Are they gonna be living with them?」

「「「No, seriously, send them off properly! You were literally giving them orders like 『go buy miso』 like they’re doing errands! And what’s that torpedo in your hand?! Why does it say 『For Sending Off the Geeks and Idiots to the Underworld』?! That’s not a farewell gift, you’re fully planning to sink them!」」」

I tried to show it off. Well, leaving the Geeks and Idiots for sinking later. Right now, the Sister Girl faction needs attention; we should assume they’ll be targeted and act accordingly. Originally, due to doctrinal issues, the Sister Girl’s faction had already been labeled as a dangerous element within the Church. Seen as a threat by the main faction, they were constantly monitored and denied access to weapons or magical tools, deliberately kept from gaining any combat strength whatsoever.

Because she’d made some half-baked connections out here in the Frontier, it’s highly probable they would see it as her joining hands with an armed force. That alone was enough to make her a target. And the most fatal part, is that apparently, Sister Girl was rejecting every advance from the highly debauched higher-up middle-aged men, bishops or priests, or whatever they were, suggesting she would become their mistress. So they have been targeting her since forever ago. Just seeing the setting, a beautiful curvy devout nun, I can’t see any other future than her getting attacked! She heading straight for a super dark route with torture and violation, clearly in no position to be worried about others!

No issues with the fuse. Torpedo systems all green. Target ship identified, visual confirmation complete. The enemy is currently geeking and idioting right in front.

「Well then, the carriage’s loaded, and I’ve already remodeled and armed the『Shipwreck』, so don’t forget the miso. Even if they say, 『No way we’re giving miso to the Geeks!』I’ve outfitted it with enough firepower to wipe out the Beastmen Country, so do get the miso, alright? I mean, if you end up destroying them while buying it, that’s fine too. Just hurry. So, miso, yeah?」

「Why are you ready to destroy an entire country of beastfolk just for miso?!」

「And we said we’ll buy it, so don’t sink us! Why are you so eager to sink us when you are the one who told us to buy miso!」

「Also, don’t just go naming the ship『Shipwreck』! It’s not even about bad luck at this point, you’re not even trying to hide your intentions!」

「「「Speaking of hiding things, can you please start with the torpedoes you’re holding?! Just put those away!」」」

They’re just going to buy miso, but they are making such a fuss about it. Even little kids these days can easily handle first-time errands like isekai travel to the Beastmen Country and picking up some miso. And yet look at them, these are full-grown Geeks, you know?

「「「Have a good trip, bring back miso!」」」

「「「「We get it, we’ll buy it! Just stop Haruka-kun! That thing’s already armed, isn’t it?」」」」

「「「「Alright, we’re going, but we’ll be back soon, alright? The food in the royal capital’s kinda mid anyway.」」」」

Something about going to see fluffy beast girls and muscular beauties just makes me so jealous I can’t stand it. I started lining up a whole batch of torpedoes by the river, but the girls confiscated them. Turns out miso’s pretty important after all.

Floating with the current, they gently drifted away from the riverbank. Onboard the slowly moving ironclad vessel, the Geeks and Idiots frantically waved their hands… All the missiles got swatted away. As expected, couldn’t sink them without torpedoes. Should’ve laid down sea mines ahead of time…

「「「We told you not to shoot! Just how jealous are you?!」」」

I mean, getting fluffy with beastgirls and adored by muscular ladies? Don’t you get it?

「Not that I’m jealous or anything, okay? I mean, yeah, I’m jealous of the Geeks and resent the Idiots, but I’ve sublimated and inflated it by transforming it into a grudge, and sent it off with this farewell (missiles)? Sort of?」

「「「「Did you just sneak in some weird reading for 『Farewell』 just now?! And why is a farewell missile barrage-style saturation fire?! That’s way too much emotional baggage riding on them!」」」」

Well, the torpedoes are just prototypes anyway, and I told the Geeks to test-fire them into a Confederation port as a little errand on their way out. With that many, even if they sink every ship in the harbor, they’ll still have leftovers, so the port facilities are probably going to get wiped out too. It’s their own fault we can’t sell them magic stones that can be made into weapons. And since I can’t sell them anywhere, I’m stuck with a ton of them on hand. And since I’m stuck with them, I got pissed off and turned them into torpedoes. This was all based on an ancient saying: 『If you can’t sell any, just fire them』, a pearl of wisdom from Marie-sama’s legacy, so clearly I’m not at fault here.

「「「Well then, we’re off too! Angelica-san, Nefertiri-san and Slime-san, please take care of Arianna-san and the others, alright?」」」

(Nod-Nod, Nod Nod, Jiggle-Jiggle)

Hey, if you’re going to ask the three of them, at least mention every name properly. The way you said it, it’s like I wasn’t even asked at all? Yeah, yeah, even without a formal request, a true professional snipes ahead of time. If you shoot before the request comes in, there’s no panic or confusion once it does. That’s called foresight. Though… they also say a hawk with foresight has dull talons? Or do they?

Anyway, there’s no point in just Sister Girl getting stronger. I should head over to the Lord’s Mansion and pick up the rest of her group. Well, once I drag them all out and toss them into a Dungeon, they won’t have time to whine, they’ll get stronger whether they like it or not. I can explain things afterward.