Chapter 398
Day 93 – Daytime, Dungeon
A dungeon, a den of monsters, twisted like a maze, spanning dozens of floors underground like a reverse tower, or well… a dungeon?
「First, we place the church group Sister Girls into the iron sphere. (Nooo!) (It’s dark!) (It’s cramped!) (I’m scared!) Then we throw it at the monsters. ((((Gyaaaah!)))) And that’s an easy level-up, sort of?」
When it comes to narrow, maze-type dungeons, giant rolling iron balls are a classic. The monsters seem delighted as well, or more like, they’re running for their lives as they get flattened one by one. While an iron ball is enough for the Middle-Aged Monks, I really wanted to make a giant glass ball for Sister Girl and the nuns. I’m sure that being able to see what’s going up inside would’ve made it more fun, but the idea got rejected.
Starting at the first floor and repeating the trick on and on, they’ve gained quite a few levels. They also seem to be getting used to it, since the screams from inside the iron ball are getting quieter?
「I-I-I’m very grateful that someone like me… like us, would be cared about enough to help us level up… but… are we really being cared for here? I mean, we were suddenly shoved into an iron ball and thrown at monsters to be rolled around… This is completely different from the level-up training I had imagined…?」
It turns out the giant rolling iron ball had an unexpected side effect. No, actually, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that this might be the real benefit here. Yes, the sister are staring at me with that Flat Gaze! Their eyes were spinning, all swirly, but once I stuffed a mushroom in their mouths, oh my, they were totally giving me Sisters the Flat Gaze!
「Try checking your stats. Your levels went up a lot, right? And since that heavy iron ball is being pushed around, this is totally power leveling. It’s a super powerful leveling for the sisters who are spinning and getting spun, and spun around even more than usual? Probably?」
「N-no, I don’t normally spin, and I don’t get spun around either. But… yes, my vision has been spinning nonstop. Still… this level is unbelievable… It’s higher than that of Church Knights now! I’m over level 30! That’s on par with or even above the Temple Knights’… This level is unheard of for a mere monk or nun.」
The Theocracy’s levels are seriously low, huh~. But I’ve already been overtaken. Even without cheats, levels go up pretty fast if you make someone clear up a dungeon to the middle floors of a dungeon. Weakening monsters and then running them over with an iron ball is a super easy job for a smooth level-up, why doesn’t anyone else do this? I mean, Dungeons and iron balls go hand in hand! The locals really don’t get it.
「Ahhh, but the monsters are starting to get dangerous, and the iron ball might crack soon… What should we do? Maybe switch to another dungeon and make them fight properly from the first floor? I’m kind of getting bored of the iron ball, too? Or rather without gutters, it’s nothing but strikes and spares, which isn’t very fun? Although I feel like if the ball fell in a gutter, it’d be a pain to retrieve it?」
Well, gutter is good, but what I really want to see is them going wobble-wobble bounce-bounce while trying to be gutsy. I’m totally prepared to give them complete garter belt sets for that too, but at around level 30, even with a decent number of people, they’ll probably only make it to around the 15th floor at best. They did finally break past level 30, so they can get a boost from their equipment, so ideally I’d want them to reach the 20th floor or so… but this is their first battle, the first Dungeon, and the first iron ball, so pushing them too hard would be kind of mean.
For now, I should probably pull the trio that crawled into the iron ball just to fool around. Wait, it’s moving on its own! They’re rolling around and playing inside. Looks like fun! Especially how they’re getting all tangled up and squished together inside, that’s just marvelous! Looks like giant iron balls aren’t as simple as your average Highschool Boy would imagine.
Now that the warm-up power-leveling has raised the Sister Girls’ physical stats, it’s time to begin the real training – boot camp (military-style drilling). The instructors are still rolling around playing, so we’ll wait until they’re done. Man, I wanna join too, but if I get into that tight space called an iron ball, things might escalate into a very intense 『Iron ball exercise』. It might even break. Making a new one would be a pain, so I’ll restrain myself.
「Sex King is forbidden to enter! We still have not recovered, from this morning!」
「Spinning around in a narrow space.
Fully-equipped Sex King.
Far more dangerous than any monster or dungeon master!」
(Bounce-Bounce~!)
They didn’t let me in. Apparently, banned from trespassing too? Not that I was going to? Probably? Yeah, probably not, but if my Magic Hands just happened to slip, that’d be a totally unavoidable Highschool Boy accident, right?
We pass through the gate and head back to the surface, riding a carriage to another Dungeon. The plan is to give them some real combat experience starting from the first floor, letting them level up along the way. I had called in the Demon Scythes to serve as backup guards, but I guess they’re not here yet. Maybe they’re still busy logging? I was planning to gather everyone and then sit down for lunch, though? What do we do?
「「「Itadakimasu, Haruka-sama.」」」
Looks like Sister Girl and company have adopted 『Itadakimasu』and 『Gochisousama』too. I mean, if you’re gonna give thanks, you should be thanking the food that became nourishment for your life, not some god who didn’t do a thing. Well, not like the old fart could be eaten? And I absolutely don’t even want to!
The Demon Scythes finally joined up, but they’re just munching on sweets. Is that actually alright for scythes? Nutrition-wise? But I guess since they came all the way out to chop trees for us, some candy’s a small price to pay as a reward. The Evil Forest has a magic oversaturation problem, the trees absorb too much mana and become hardened, making them impossible to cut down. And the longer they go uncut, the more magic essence builds up, creating a vicious circle. Only people who can perform mana-infused strikes can chop those trees down, and there aren’t that many of them around. The Frontier can’t afford to assign high-level adventurers and soldiers to lumberjack duty.
I need to think about mass-producing magic axes too, or the Demon Scythes’ workload will never ease up. But even if someone can chop the trees with a magic axe, they still need enough combat ability to fight the monsters in the Evil Forest. So in the end, the personnel shortage is still pretty dire.
「So, from here on, I’d like all of you to engage in a nice little kill-or-be-killed session. Against monsters, of course! Like a monster royale! 『Royale』 means royal or luxurious, by the way, so why does 『Battle Royale』 end up meaning an all-out group brawl? Anyway, please proceed with your killing. Like, Chop Chop! Kind of?」
Well, even if their levels have gone up, it’d still be difficult to jump straight into combat without any training. More than anything, their personalities and dispositions just aren’t suited for battle. I mean, even Shield Pres’s Shield Girl was like that at first, but now she’s grown into a tough girl who swings around an iron ball shouting, 『I’ll protect everyone!』 So in the end, actual combat really is the best kind of training. Generally speaking, regardless of your personality or nature, if you just keep killing monsters, you’ll eventually get used to it. Probably?
I mean, I don’t think all of the Girls naturally had combat-oriented personalities, but at a certain point they got used to it. Like, completely adapted, acclimated, and even optimized! Just the other day, when they ran into that tanky turtle floor boss, one of them went, 『If it’s too hard to cut, why not just beat it to death?』 and proceeded to smash it with relentless blows from morning stars. Was Marie-san one of the classmates? They were so terrifying no one dared say, 『Hey now, don’t bully the turtle』 and even Tarou-san was too scared to pass by. [TL: Note: Reference to Urashima Tarou and one of the starting scenes where he saves the turtle from bullies, which leads him to the Dragon Palace as thanks.]
「「「「P-please take care of us.」」」」
Looks like they’re motivated. Both the Captain and the Instructors are nodding approvingly. Let’s give this a shot, shall we?
「Gyaaahhh—」 「W-wait, H-Haruka-san, what are you—」 「Kyaaaaaahhh!」 「Noooo, please stop!」 「W-waittttt!」 「I-Is this really… training?」 「Nooooooo!」 「「「Gyaaahhh!」」」
Start with form. Even if it’s just by watching and copying, getting the form right matters. That alone has meaning. The reason why universally practiced techniques endure is because they’re rational, adapted to the structure of the human body. Be it another world or ours, there’s always the act of raising the weapons and cutting, so as long as there’s gravity and humans haven’t evolved a different physique, you always end up there. That’s the foundation.
And that’s also the destination. Be it the Jigen-ryuu’s Dragonfly or the Itto-ryuu’s Ichi-no-Tachi, from downward slash to cut-down, the philosophy, the training, the breathing, the range, the bodily mechanics and footwork, all are extensively refined through complex, exhaustive examination, observation, and polish, but regardless of the differences in individual styles, as long as the practitioner is bound to a human body, it starts with a chop and leads to a refined cut.
So you tie a sword to their hands, embed the center of gravity in the tip, grab their ankles, and swing them around like a whip, letting the body follow the sword’s weight as it reaches full extension. Do this repeatedly until their body memorizes the feeling, pound into their minds that『Monsters can be defeated if you cut them』. Even just being swung around gives them the body memory of having cut down a monster themselves. That successful experience, both physical and mental, gets engraved in them. Yeah, truly an elegant, simple, and efficient training method.
At first, even Armored Pres-san and the others were giving me the look, but I think they’ve come to appreciate the logic and innovative nature of this method? Yup, by now they’re dual-wielding, as in, grabbing two people by the legs and gleefully swinging them around. But the real revolutionary is Slime-san. It’s holding six legs at once and spinning them like a buzz saw, mowing down monsters in a giant whirlwind? That’s some real efficiency?
Well, occasionally it throws them, but they’re hitting their mark, and the effect is good. Slime-san’s six-sword-style is definitely advantageous in terms of scoring. Currently holding first place by a huge margin.
By the time we swung our way down to the 20th floor, the church folk’s eyes had gone dim, their expressions blank, and they started proactively charging into the monsters themselves. Seeing them running at the monsters like they were trying to escape us, we nodded approvingly in deep appreciation at their growth of our pupils. Felt like cuckoos watching baby chicks leave the nest… or, wait, huh?
Up to around the 30th floor, we were all moved by the results of our kind, thorough, heartfelt instruction, but something seems really off?
「Diediediediediediediediediediedie!」 「Grovel, you wretches, !」 「Fufufu, fufufufufufufu!」 「Vanish, disappear, you ***! Should I *** your *** and turn it into ***?」 「Look, look, if you don’t run you’ll be torn to shreds~」 「Don’t run, just die. Die right now. Die here and now!」 「Living is so wonderful, so that’s why you all need to die!」 「Out of my way, monsters! I’m not scared of you! The truly scary thing is…」 「Depart this world, or rather, get the hell out! Hurry up and die, you bloody bastards!」 「Kuhhahaha, I’ll mince you into monster burgers and *** them into your ***!」 「Hyyyaaaahhh!」 …………
We were all celebrating the students’ growth, but the direction of their growth seems to have taken a nosedive in a screaming crescendo. They’re shouting as they crush and pulverize monsters, but church members yelling things like *** or *** is probably not okay? Yeah, who the heck taught them such filthy behavior?
Wait, ah, it was Gunnery Sergeant Hartman? Well, then it can’t be helped? Yup, the only boot camp image I had was Gunnery Sergeant Hartman and Commander Billy. Looks like Hartman joined partway through?
Yup, if it’s Hartman, then it’s fine. I mean, just from the name, he must be a heartful person, right?
Everyone is happily swinging their swords with a blank face, slicing through monsters with reckless abandon. That last 『Hyahaaa,!』 girl seems to have reached some kind of enlightenment.
As expected, in the middle layer, the monsters get dangerous unless bound with magic threads. From here on, they might have unexpected skills or dirty tricks up their sleeves, so they must be restrained. Still, the clergy charge in without hesitation, slashing and killing.
They just swing their swords. That’s the only move they know, the only thing they were taught, so they keep slashing downward, slaughtering monsters one after another tirelessly. That simple, unrefined strike continues to be honed and sharpened through repetition, becoming a blade that slaughters even the tough, mid-tier monsters… Yeah, this is starting to get kind of scary?
And now, having finally surpassed Level 40, I updated everyone’s equipment. Once we taught them a few new forms and let them practice, Sister Girl and company began overwhelming the monsters at a shocking pace… With Armored Pres-san and Dancing Girl-san providing support and instruction, and me covering them with Magic Threads, we hit the lowest floor with the Dungeon Master, 『Stone Giant Lv33』. His meager petrification defense stood no chance, devoured by madness, he was slashed, shattered, pulverized, and reduced to pebbles?
Well, I didn’t really care about the monks, so their design stayed the same, but for the nuns, I put deep thought, deep consideration, and deep meaning into making the outfits easier to move in, by adding deep slits. Of course, to keep the bulky nun habits from getting in the way, I went with tight-fitting outfits, outlining their curvy, hourglass figures. It’s a stretchable and sensual and just wonderful set of equipment, so I shall observe with heartfelt attention.
With a deep breath and a heavy step, their blades come slicing down. A full-body slash with deep commitment, cutting clean through in a single blow, reveals glimpses of thigh through the high slits. As the blade swings down with a dropped waist and tightened form, everything jiggles with a poyon and rebounds with a poyoyon. Each motion and breath combine into a single technique, focusing all their power into one point, cutting down even the toughest monsters. Poyooon. It’s quite the spectacle, and above all, incredibly entertaining to watch!
「「「Mission (Slaughter) Accomplished, Haruka-sama!」」」
Whoa! Scary! Why are they standing at perfect attention like that?! That stiff, unmoving posture screams danger, I swear I can hear the sound of marching boots. But seriously, if it was back then in the olden time when people hammered metal cleats into their soles, to prevent slipping, that might’ve made sense, but military boots these days are designed to be silent, it’s been ages since they made any sound! So from which era are these people who still say 『I hear the sound of military boots』 like it’s some kind of omen? If they want to hear it that much, perhaps they should be getting isekai’d? They’d probably be thrilled to hear all the boots they want? Though maybe even other worlds don’t want to have anything to do with them, so there aren’t any around. Yup, the skill 『Article 9 Barrier』 doesn’t seem to appear in other worlds either? [TL Notes: Likely reference to article 9 of Japan’s constitution, which renounces war as a sovereign right and prohibits the maintenance of armed forces with offensive capabilities.]
(Nod Nod, Nod-Nod, Jiggle-Jiggle)
Observing the new growth the trio is nodding, deeply moved by their development… No, the heck are you nodding at! Those are definitely bad news?! Their eyes have no light, a flat matte, no gloss, no shine, and those abyssal gazes are directed right at me?
I’m getting the distinct sense I’ll be in serious trouble when we get back. But, thinking calmly, everyone’s stronger now, and no one is injured. So there’s no real problem. No problem means I didn’t do anything wrong, right? Yep. That’s it. Problem solved. My name is cleared. Even if this is kind of terrifying, technically speaking, there are no issues.
The outfits are still nun-style, so they can wear them daily. They even have 『Storage』 enchantments too, so they can stash their weapons there. Although they also supposed to give high resistance to Abnormal Status Effects, so how come everyone looks like they are in a very Abnormal Condition? Yeah, dungeons really are full of mysteries?
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