Chapter 404
Day 94 – Evening, White Weirdo Inn
When I got back to the inn…
「「「Welcome home, Master~ Moe moe kyun ❤」」」
…It had become a maid inn. This world is full of mysteries, but it turns out the girls’ heads are also just as full of mysterious highschoolgirl stuff. Did they eat some weird monster in the Dungeon or something?
「I’m back, wait, what are you doing? Are you working here as maids because you couldn’t afford the inn fee? Th-That’s a valid option?! But those maid outfits don’t reflect even a hint of intent to actually do housekeeping! Those are ultra-miniskirt maid outfits, forming a vast dominion of Absolute Territory with knee socks and thigh-highs vying for supremacy in a war of maid uniforms, what the heck is going on here?!」
「「「Now, now, come this way, Master ❤」」」
I was greeted by a full squad of high school girls in miniskirt maid uniforms, this welcome was suspicious beyond any reason, even if it’s a trap, shouldn’t they be at least slightly more subtle?. Already in full combat mode with 『Magic Wrap』 active and buffs layered up. I was using Presence Detection and Space Perception to scan the area within a 200-meter radius, and still couldn’t get a grasp on the situation at all.
「Thank you for all your hard work today, Master ❤」
「Yes yes, you must be tired. Let me give your shoulders a massage, Master ❤」
「Mmhmm, let’s start by removing your cloak and gloves, oh, and I’ll take off your shoulder guards too? Master ❤」
Disarmament?! I’d stored the World Tree staff in my item pouch, but within mere seconds, they’d stripped three pieces of gear off me. Alarming development. But over there were the Armored Pres Maid-san and Dancer Maid-san, the double Dungeon Emperor Maids! There was no room to escape, but is it even okay for Dungeon Emperors to be dressed as miniskirt maids? Wait, actually, it’s very okay! From gothic lolita to classic cuts, from traditional designs to the OG Amelia Maid uniform, even Victorian, Tudor, and Lanchester maid styles, every type was on full parade, all with fluttering frills and exposed thighs in proud display.
But hold on, didn’t I make long maid dresses too? Why is everyone wearing minis? Even the Sister Girl and nun were in miniskirt maid outfits, shrinking back in embarrassment. At this rate, they’ll end up wearing miniskirt nun habits too. Still, what does that mean for their image as proper Sister-sans? These women, raised on simple meals, embracing asceticism, never used to combat or physical training, mostly in their mid-to-late twenties and up, the plumpness of their thighs was on another level! Is-is this what they call maturity? They look delicious!
「Here you go, it’s just from a food stall, but here’s some omurice ❤」
「「「Let’s make it tasty~ Moe moe kyun ❤」」」
「Here, say aah~ ❤」 「Ah, me too, aah~ ❤」 「Then I’ll, fufu~ aah~ ❤」 「Here you go, Master~ ❤」 「Eat up, eat up~ ❤」 「「「「Aah~ ❤」」」」
Their suspiciousness went over MAX and broke all limits! It seems like an incredibly lucky experience, but it’s so suspicious that it also feels like it could become my last ever experience as well. A legion of maids whose outrageousness could shake heaven and earth! I mean, come on, Highschool Boys don’t do 『aah~n』! That kind of thing is only bearable when it’s mutual embarrassment between a couple! For a second-year high schooler with zero dating experience, this is a literal impossible game. And yet, here I am, arms trapped in a cuddle hold, both hands squished into soft restraints, stuck in a chair while an army of spoons is shoved at my face. If I don’t eat, they’ll swap to forks, which are basically tridents, which makes them weapons!
「「「「Aa~n ❤」」」」
So embarrassing! This is seriously embarrassing! I didn’t think being fed with an open mouth could be this humiliating! No wonder people cringe at the couples doing this. It’s impossible to do in the right mind!
「Next, mine~ ❤」 「Eat this one too~ ❤」 「Please eat mine, I’ll do my best ❤」 「C’mon already! Hurry up! ❤!」「「「Aah~n ❤」」」
Is this humiliation play not going to end until I’ve eaten from everyone? This isn’t even my thing, okay? Yeah, no. Just no. The only people who can endure this are either completely broken or exhibitionist freaks in trench coats. No in-between!
While chewing on the omurice, I watched, peeked, scanned. The Sister Girl and nuns looked more embarrassed than anything, but there was something else. They looked troubled, unsure what to do, with an apologetic expression on their faces. And those soft, plump thighs peeking between the stockings and the skirt… okay, that aside, this entire thing probably had something to do with them.
I have no idea what sort of request, demand, or plea they have, but I’m willing to listen as long as they stop with this? Actually, having me go through this entire ritual before asking for a favor has to be some kind of humiliation punishment game? Having girls watch you go 『aah~n』 is seriously too much! Give me a break already… (*nom, chew, nom*) There’s just too many!
「Haruka-kun, please.」「「「「Please~」」」」
「Please make us nun outfits!」「「「「Please~!」」」」
「…………Huh? Nun cosplay? Are you planning for Halloween or something? That thing in the West where you cosplay and extort people for candy with threats of mischief? Where the people giving out candy seem more morally upright than the ones demanding it? That eerily familiar thing where you only have two choice of threat or extortion? Do you want candy?」
Said to originally be an ancient Celtic autumn harvest festival with spiritual significance meant to drive away evil spirits, which had somehow turned into a bizarre event with a Pumpkin King supposedly going house to house, extorting candies with by presenting a choice of satisfying his demands or being pranked? That Halloween-san?
The night of October 31st, marking the end of the Celtic year, signified the end of summer, meaning it was also the beginning of winter. It was believed that the spirits of the dead would visit their families, and at the same time harmful spirits and witches would appear, so people wore masks to protect themselves and lit bonfires as charms against evil. It’s that famous thing with the children dressed as witches or ghosts going from house to house chanting Trick ・or・ Treat, 『Give us sweets or we’ll play a prank』 and the iconic pumpkin lanterns. It’s famous, but apparently it has nothing to do with situations like 『I’ll give you candy so let me get a bit mischevious with you』which would demand attention of authorities.
「「「We want candy too, but that’s not what this is about!」」」
So they do want sweets, but it’s not about Halloween after all? I mean, if they’re gonna go that far, sure, I’ll give them some. But then this is really just cosplay?
「Haruka-kun, I know it’s asking a lot, but… we’d like you to make us combat-ready nun habits. I know, I know, there’s so many of us, and trying to make cloth habits suitable for battle is a huge task. Even so, please. We’ll absolutely pay for it, and we’re prepared for it to be expensive… so, please, can you do it for us?」
「「「「Please!」」」」
Ahh, they’re planning to go to the Theocracy. Most likely, after talking with the Sister Girl and others, they’ve felt the urge to help, to save them. They don’t want innocent people to be harmed. Which means they’ll infiltrate enemy territory, choose who to fight, and try not to drag civilians into it. That’s what the battle habits are for, disguise for infiltration.
That’s… naïve. Naïve beyond belief. So sweet I could probably fire a mega particle cannon out of my mouth. Heading into enemy territory and trying to avoid harming civilians of the opposing side? That’s a suicide mission. Especially when those civilians are believers whom they want to shield from harm are very likely to support the enemy, it’s not just a disadvantage, it’s a deadly risk. But that’s what the Sister Girl and others want to do and learning of that, Pres and the others must have got an urge to help them. They’re such Idiots it makes me want to rename them to the Idiots Girils and feed them rice in buckets from now on. And they’d probably be happy about it if the buckets were cute. Do they still have any shred of girlishness left?
「Sigh… you want to help them? These are the people who called the Frontier a corrupted land and abandoned it, who called beastfolk filthy animals and enslaved them, and on top of that, they’re basically a bunch of creepy perverts with old-man fetish? And you still want to help them? Even if you do, they’ll just turn on you. They’re believers in the same ideology as your enemy, right? So what’s the point of risking yourselves to protect them? Are they really worth protecting? What will you do if, after you save them, they go on to harm the Frontier or the beastfolk? They support a belief system that says that’s okay, right? Sure, people have the freedom to believe what they want, but they also have the obligation to face the consequences of their actions. They’re equally guilty?」
You can’t hurt people, take everything from them, and then claim 『I was tricked』『I didn’t know』 or 『I never thought about it.』 That doesn’t fly. If you donated or supported it, then you were complicit. That alone is enough guilt to deserve retribution. Whether it was out of goodwill or malice, it doesn’t matter to the people who were hurt, robbed, and killed. There’s not much difference in the end.
「…………Haruka-sama. The blame lies entirely with us, the church. And if, in the name of God, those people cause harm… then we will cut them down. We will teach, talk, think, and reason with them, but if they still choose to do harm, then we will take responsibility, as ours alone. So please, grant them this one act of mercy. We beg of you.」
Whether it was true resolve or just a momentary measure they came up on the spot, even Sister Girl probably couldn’t say for sure. But what mattered was that she held conviction, that she showed the will to make up her mind. That’s probably why those sweet, sweet mini-skirt maids came to make their request. I really wish they’d just ask me normally. That was seriously humiliating, you know? I could feel something inside me being scraped away, little by little. Yeah, anyone who can regularly visit maid cafes must have a mental resistance level in the triple digits! Maids themselves are amazing, absolutely, but to a normal high school boy, they’ve got way too much destructive power. I don’t even know what got destroyed, but the damage was catastrophic!
Expecting something like this, I’d already made combat-ready sexy nun outfits for everyone. And anticipating something like that, I’d also made mini versions too.
And with all that anticipation stacked up, tonight we’ll have to thoroughly, meticulously, painstakingly, thoughtfully, and relentlessly test them out, with layer upon layer of trial and trial. Of course we will! I poured all the biased and totally self-serving thoughts of a Highschool Boy into this conviction, knowing full well that something like this was bound to happen, and I already finished four prototypes each for Armored Pres-san and Dancer Girl-san! Obviously, we’ll need to test all eight variations, slitted and mini versions alike. It’s not even up for debate, I already decided! Alright, time to give it my all.
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