Chapter 413 part 2
While that was going on, the girls from the inn rushed over too, so it was decided they’ll hold a meeting to exchange information. I was just about to contribute by delivering a heartfelt monologue about the traps I’d prepared for Sexy Female Agents and that now were tragically wasted, but then Pres gave the order, and both Armored Pres-san and Dancer Girl sealed my mouth. The information lockdown was so tight it was about to shut down my breathing too. Mysteriously, my requests as their Master go ignored, while Pres’s orders are always followed. Must be a difference in command authority power?
Stalker Girl’s latest intel pointed that the incident was caused by the chaos within the Theocracy. Apparently, the desperate upper echelon of the church staged a coup, imprisoning the royal family of the Theocracy and making the Pope, who had already been the de facto ruler, the official and absolute dictator. It seems they’ve started rounding up all the other faction leaders who could potentially oppose them, relying on fear and suppression to maintain their grip on power.
Upon hearing that, Sister Girl fainted and had to be carried out of the room. The shock of her family being captured must have been too much. And that’s where Meripapa-san revealed that Sister Girl was, in fact, a princess of the Theocracy… Though that title was listed in her status, apparently, it usually can’t be read. Normally, I wouldn’t go around checking other people’s stats either, but since we couldn’t just trust some random envoy from the Theocracy, I thoroughly investigated all of them, and Sister Girl had the title of『Princess』 attached to her.
Everyone had that classic 『Ehh?!』 look of surprise on their faces… but look, we already have two people with 『Princess』-class titles, the Frontier King, the Lust King is here too, and even two former Dungeon Emperors, not to mention Slime-san, who’s probably got some Emperor-class title as well. A bunch of the girls also have King-tier titles attached, you know? It’s really not that rare?
I mean, the frontier is full of Dungeons, and each Dungeon has its own monarch and ruler, a Dungeon Master, so out here, royal-class titles are a dime a dozen? Even just a little while back, if you wandered a bit deeper into the forest, there were like dozens of Goblin Kings hanging around? They’re everywhere?
Now, while the Theocracy is on a verge of explosion, dissatisfied by the Pope’s dictatorship, with the royal family imprisoned, and every faction leader who could raise a banner in rebellion also captured, they are lacking a leader around whom they can rally. It’s a full-on reign of terror, where even believers who voice individual opposition are labeled heretics and executed.
But outside the country, there happens to be exactly one person left with royal blood, someone whose ideals clash with the Pope’s, and who holds deep trust among the people of the Theocracy and even abroad. Of course they’d want to abduct her. But since she’s staying in the Lord’s Mansion of the Frontier Count, abduction is impossible, so they tried to switch to assassination, and even that was impossible. A pointless suicide mission ridiculously outside the realm of possibility.
And once again, I was wrong. I seriously can’t stand it anymore. At this rate, even 『Wisdom』-san and the others are going to abandon me out of sheer disbelief at my staggering stupidity.
「Everyone, thank you very much for your kindness. Though we weren’t able to repay it in any way, nor contribute to the frontier, we’ve received more generosity than we ever deserved. We will never forget this for the rest of our lives. We will return to the Theocracy. When the people are oppressed and God is mocked, we cannot remain in safety and speak out from afar. Our days here in the frontier will forever be a treasure in our hearts. Thank you.」
And I taught them the means to protect themselves. Which means they can fight. Having the power to fight there’s no way Sister Girl would choose not to when the time calls for it. Even when having no fighting ability, she still came all the way to the frontier, despite thinking that she was heading to a monster-infested hell… But now I’ve taught her and her followers how to fight. It’s basically the same as telling them to go and die.
Every time I make a mistake, someone ends up on the brink of death, somewhere, someone dies. Even after I swore to myself I won’t mess up again, I keep messing up constantly. I hate this. This is all my fault for cornering the Theocracy like that. People are already being killed because of that, and now I’ve also given Sister Girls and others a reason to die.
I seriously hate this useless head. If I ripped it off, maybe a slightly smarter one would grow out?
「Please wait!」 「It’s too dangerous!」 「You can’t go, it’s enemy territory!」 「Please reconsider!」 「Stop! This is reckless!」 「What do you think will happen? You’ll just die. Please reconsider.」 「Yeah, there’s no way. It’s impossible!」 「At least scout the situation first!」 (*mumble mumble*) 「Please accept the Kingdom’s protection!」 (Bounce-Bounce) 「Information first, you know next to nothing at this point.」 (*Mumble-Mumble*) 「I absolutely object! No way, it’s not happening!」 「There are things you can do and things you can’t. Rushing in without a plan is foolish.」 (*mumble mumble*)
The meeting room had turned into pure chaos. Everyone was trying to stop Sister Girl and her group from going, but they stood firm in their resolve. Meanwhile, some of the girls, though trying to hold them back, were clearly planning to follow them the moment things got serious. As Meripapa-san and Royal Girl were caught in a swirl of confusion as to whether they should mobilize the army, or confine the girls to prevent them from leaving, the chaos in the room continued getting worse… But listen, the incident isn’t happening in this conference room! It’s happening out there in the field! Though if everyone from this group did hold a strategy meeting on-site, the Theocracy’s forces would probably be annihilated in an instant. That said, it also would leave the frontier completely defenseless and abandoned.
Militarily, the Theocracy itself isn’t much of a threat. Even with their massive military might, they’re not a danger. Their main forces have already taken a heavy hit and are mired in internal conflict, they no longer have the cohesion to present a unified front. But what isn’t to be underestimated is the Church’s shadowy underbelly, that was constantly present in the dark of this world’s history.
In fact, they deployed Dancing Girl to the Frontier earlier, a hidden trump card strong enough to take down an entire country by herself under normal circumstances. And she’s a beauty too! Much appreciated.
That’s exactly why I wanted to stay uninvolved, just quietly and peacefully resolve everything through some casual long-distance saturation bombardment via large-scale weapons of mass destruction. Getting into a direct confrontation with an opponent whose hand I can’t read on top of marching into enemy territory, sightseeing through enemy lines, living that enemy-front lifestyle while surrounded on all sides feels a bit dangerous to me. Rather, if that somehow turned out to be safe and comfortable, then the enemy clearly isn’t doing their job and should probably get mass fired and self-destruct anyway. Honestly, that’d be ideal?
I’ve got a lot to say, but my mouth is being forcibly shut. Snake-san and Tentacle-san do technically have mouths, but they can only lick or nibble gently, not speak, at least not yet. If they could talk, I could’ve made a one man choir, but skill usage is a tricky thing.
Well, Snakes and Tentacles are super busy every night with licking and love-biting training sessions, so they don’t really have time for anything else. They’re very busy slitherers, you know. But if I called them out now, they’d probably get sliced down instantly, so I’ll refrain.
「Even so, we must return. I will never forget the kindness you all have shown us. Please, let us go. This is the duty of a believer.」
No matter how many people try to stop her, she won’t listen, can’t listen. Her eyes already hold unshakable resolve. She is blinded by desperation. In that case, I have no choice but to speak up, as someone who’s made this mistake, it’s a responsibility I must bear.
「(mumblemumblemumble~) Hey come on, isn’t it about time someone said 『let him speak already』? What the hell is this! Are you going a bit too far with Highschool Boy’s oppression? My Freedom of Speech is being quite literally violated, I barely could breathe? It’s not nice you know? Slither-Slither?」
「「「Snake-san is talking!」」」
Turns out, it is possible? Though everyone’s staring at Snake-san, it’s actually me who’s talking, okay? You’ve gotta move your hands already, or I’m gonna look like I’ve finally got some sort of a shady 『Ventriloquist』skill? I mean, nothing wrong with that, but mages and sorcerers are one thing, but a ventriloquist just doesn’t seem to belong in a fantasy world?
「(mumblemumble~) No, seriously, you need to do something about these hands first? It’s going past cyanosis from low oxygen concentration, this is a complete lack of air itself. There’s not a single trace of oxygen, nitrogen, carbon dioxide, nothing I can get into my lungs at all? Read the room! How come your ability to block mouths is so absolute while your ability to read a situation is nonexistent?! Can’t you balance that out? Talk about extreme point-dump builds! Slither-Slither?」
「「「If you’re going to speak, at least say something meaningful! …And… Well… hang in there?」」」
At long last, the Highschool Boy with actual dialogue has arrived. Though the pitying looks and that hesitant little question mark at the end do give me pause, let’s try anyway.
「Pheeeew~, the air is delicious. So, wouldn’t it be fine if we just destroyed the Theocracy’s cathedral headquarters with a pinpoint strike? They’re all gathered there anyway, right?」
「「「…Can you actually do that? From long range?」」」
How shameful, this should be common knowledge. In theory, any technology that has a chance of working is destined to succeed eventually.
「Yeah, just keep doing pinpoint attacks until one of them actually hits? Mathematically, if you keep at it, it has to work at some point? Sort of?」
…Eventual success is certain. If you can deal with possibly an infinite number of failures along the way, then success is basically inevitable.
「「「That’s not pinpointing! That’s just firing one shot at a time and calling it a 『pinpoint strike』 while you keep shooting forever, that’s time-stretched saturation bombardment!」」」
「Don’t lump them together! Saturation bombing and carpet bombing have way better hit rates, which makes them more peaceful! Rude much?」
Right. If you fire everything all at once, something’s bound to hit. But with single-shot pinpoint strikes, the damage just keeps piling up endlessly until it finally lands. Well, maybe if you’re lucky, it’ll hit right away? Might even be a cause for celebration if you hit the jackpot?
「Noo! No pinpoints attacks compared to which carpet bombing seems more peaceful!」
「You’re using the term 『pinpoint strike』 in literally the worst possible way!」
「But if you get lucky and hit with one shot, it’s a quick and easy resolution, right?」
「Don’t fall for it! That way lies 『next one for sure』 syndrome and full-blown pinpoint strike addiction!」
「The whole point was to avoid weapons of mass destruction, so giving a chance to speak to a person, who suggests things even more atrocious than that, was a mistake to begin with. 」
「So basically, you can’t do it in one shot? If it can’t be done in one hit, then it’s a no.」
「No, with a WMD, one shot is possible? Doesn’t even have to be a direct hit. Nice and reliable?」
「「「We’ve had enough! Shut him up already!」」」
「(mumblemumble~) The hit rate would be higher if I get closer? So at point-blank range, it’s basically guaranteed? Sure, no point in firing at that range anymore, but still, it’ll definitely land? And if you’re still worried, you could just launch it from inside. Being 360-degree surrounded by a valid target, missing becomes nearly impossible? Almost?」
「「「Now Tentacles are casually joining the conversation! But that Tentacle-san is way too graphic! Blur it out! Mosaic!」」」
The meeting continued, with a flurry of confusion, accusations, shouting, and cold glares that pierced like knives.
You start by declaring things impossible or hopeless or unavoidable, that’s why the discussion can’t reach a conclusion. What you’re supposed to do is build up what can be done, trace the possibilities, and aim toward your goal. That’s what a discussion is for?
Pointless discussions only drain your focus and waste time. All you can do is lay out what’s possible, deal with what isn’t, and knock obstacles down one by one?
Also, I’m getting kind of suffocated here. I’m just an ordinary human, you know? Not having oxygen or breathable air is not good for my health?
Lately, it feels like if you don’t read the room, you can’t even breathe in that room. The atmosphere has become literal. Life in another world is cruel like that. It’s kind of painful, actually?
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