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Chapter 416

Day 97 – Morning, White Weirdo Inn

As the morning came they were all smiles, beaming like sunshine breaking through the morning clouds, radiant and super smug! So very pleased with themselves! I was thoroughly tormented, teased, licked, and tossed around with the utmost delight! A soul-crushing string of humiliating defeat, yet strangely, the sadness was mixed with a feeling of refreshing morning awakening, bittersweet feelings of frustration and clarity swirling together in an emotional whirlwind, with my sorrow taking flight and dancing through the sky.

「「Good morning, ufufu.」」

Slender white, and amber legs, sculpted calves forming beautiful curves, dainty feet extending from slim, toned ankles, all sensually crawling across my body along with those lovely thick thighs bursting with vitality. My arms were pulled into a soft embrace, buried and submerged deep in the soft squishiness of their cleavage, while both shoulders were nuzzled from either side by their smooth cheeks.

Normally, this would be the pinnacle of blissful wake-ups, an unattainable dream beyond dreams, the ultimate, supreme, highest of Highschool Boy fantasy scenarios. But the smug grins on those lovely lips and the gem-like eyes peering down at me, sparkling with overwhelming satisfaction, delivered a devastating sense of defeat as I awoke.

Outside, a rare light rain was falling. I need to make some rainwear, so I don’t have the energy for a rematch. Since my MP was low, I worked on mass-producing raincoats while munching on MP mushrooms… Behind me, two cheerful voices are humming in a duet『Singin’ in the Rain』 . They surely are in high spirits, like, dangerously cheerful. I wouldn’t be surprised if they burst into 『Happy-Go-Lucky RADIO』 at this point.

A revenge is sweet in the morning, like a slithering dance of payback and retribution in looped installments, but from an MP perspective, it was time to focus on productivity. Yeah, gotta earn my inn fee. I’m broke, okay?

「Good morning~ Today’s raincoat flash sale, available in all colors, well, it’s done with Multicolor? Ah, the small ones are for the orphan kids, so don’t touch them, you little raccoon! No growling! Buy it! Buy it and present your funds to the Magnate! Sort of?」

「「「We buy! Do you have umbrellas? And rain boots too!」」」

The gear’s waterproof and repels rain, so light showers won’t get through. But I guess no one likes feeling damp, even if technically they’re protected. Still, are they really going to bother changing into rain boots? The cloaks and boots are already fully waterproof, you know?

I made a profit. Got a bit swept up in the crowd, but I held my ground. Without MP, my performance drops hard, even in full gear, so I couldn’t avoid the morning orphan barrage and got flattened and is currently buried under a bodypile. Pretty heavy, huh?

「I mean, I could make umbrellas, but they take time and effort, so they’ll be expensive, okay? You’ve all got fully waterproof gear, even your casual clothes, so I really think you’ll be fine in light rain? I guess Highschool Girls just have this mysterious biological imperative to greedily want everything? A biological feature that still hasn’t been scientifically explained? Though now that I say it 『biological features』 of Highschool Girls sounds kind of lewd isn’t it? Well, if those were sexual traits, then it’s straight-up grounds for a morality offense and would’ve involved the adult entertainment laws. Like, is this the sordid truth behind the decadent lives of Highschool Girls? Kind of? Would be a pretty crazy headline?」

「「「It’s NOT like that! We’re not decadent! We’re maidens, okay!」」」

「Well, setting aside the matter of indecent schoolgirls, have you finalized today’s party setup? We’ll have to match it with yours? Are we splitting into four teams, two teams with two people, or all going together? Wait, Merimeri-san and Royal Girl are coming too? That’s a lot of people?」

While cooking breakfast, I also ask about the arrangements. Apparently they wanted to go down to the lower floors, but with the Theocracy trip now also on the table, plans may have changed, so what now? At the latest, within the week, the First Division of those macho older-sisters and the remaining half of the royal guard will arrive in the frontier. At the same time, there’s also a formal invitation from the Beastmen Country for a fluffy, beckoning-cat-tribe beckoning included, with the church burning at the end of the journey.

The Idiots will probably tag along with the First Division of Muscle Sisters, and if we head to the Beastmen Country, we’ll likely run into the Geeks wandering about as well.

Royal Girl is apparently going as the Playking representative, so we just need to bring Meripapa-san too. The girls said they’ll go along with Sister Girl’s group, so in the end, so it was decided they’ll all go together in one big crowd.

Technically, the final showdown of this entire otherworldly mess is supposed to be happening here in the Frontier, so I really don’t get why people keep creating reasons for those detours? Shouldn’t they all be heading this way by default? I’d really appreciate it if the inhabitants of this world took things a bit more seriously?

「Don’t call us indecent! We’re pure and innocent maidens!」

「Frankfurters! Why is there no mustard?!」

「Nom… munch munch… Wait, what were we talking about? Party assignments?」

「Squelch~, slurp~ Nnnmnn~, So good~… sluuurp~, slurp~」

「「「Eat normally!! That’s totally inappropriate! What if the kids start copying you?!」」」

Even with some of them getting mosaic coverage, they’re still shamelessly devouring those frankfurters, chomping and gnawing. The slurping is bad enough, but the gnawing is kinda nope!

「Yeah, we’d like to make it a full-team exercise, but we also want to get in some individual party training. Since we don’t have a clear schedule, we aren’t sure where to start?」

「Aaahn~ It’s thick and so good. munch」 「My mouth’s full, the juices are dripping!」 「Auuu, something hot came out from inside~」 (*squish squish*) 「This curve is the secret to the flavor?」 「I could eat as many of these as I want.」 「So rich… it bursts with flavor in your mouth.」 「Aaahn, I swallowed it, should’ve savored it more!」 「Mphghughghguh…?」 「Please finish chewing before you speak. Talking with your mouth full is unladylike. Look, it’s dripping down your chin…」 「It’s so good, I can’t get enough, more, please!」 「You’re eating too fast. If you don’t take your time and enjoy it, it’s such a waste!」

Yup, let’s just not do frankfurters in the future. I’m struggling here as a Highschool Boy, and stop glancing at me while eating them, seriously. Especially with those upturned eyes. It’s really awkward, okay? I wonder why?

Frankfurters seem to have become something of a local specialty here in the Frontier, but isn’t 『Frankfurt』 an actual city name? Is that okay? Then again, this town doesn’t have a name, so calling it Frankfurt after its specialty might actually work. The problem comes when it becomes a noble surname, like Merimeri Frankfurt or Murimuri Frankfurt. That would feel like some sort of slander against the good name of frankfurters. Still, Merimeri-san seems to be enjoying hers just fine, so maybe it’s not a problem. But hey, let’s make sure you eat your bread and salad too, okay?

「Still, in the end, we’re back to tight spats girls in the morning. They come in multicolor now, so if possible, let’s stick to darker shades? They’re designed not to be see-through, but they’ve been optimized for mana circulation with extra tightness, making contours and form very noticeable, so yeah, there are a lot of issues. They cling, they define, they vedge in, so let’s not wear those outside, okay? It will be a problem? For everyone?」

「「「We won’t! We only wear them indoors, so it’s fine!」」」

I was once again reminded that these everyday, skin-hugging, thick spats are actually far more dangerous than any overtly sexy outfit. I lined up the weapons and gear I had mithrilized last night along with the earcuffs and started the sale. Overwhelmed by the flood of girls in tight spats, I’m physically and emotionally thrown around all morning in this clingy, squishy bargain sale. I’m already exhausted. I just want to get to the Dungeon already, the only place left for true peace of mind seems to be underground it seems?

From early morning, Poster Girl and Stalker Girl were cheerfully goofing around with frankfurters in their mouths. Slime-san was bouncing along happily too. It was the only soothing sight around, but please, don’t copy the questionable eating style of those older girls, okay?

You kids are under fifteen. That’s a no-go. I mean, the rest of the girls are under eighteen too, but that ship has long since sailed. We’re deep into R18 territory now, a world of forbidden scenes with mosaic all around. Is this some kind of a skill?

But the real hardships begin now, the girls have started gearing up… Amid excited squeals and laughter, they slip on their boots and start strapping on their greaves, greaves being made of iron and chain, composed of multiple parts that cover the knees, ankles, and other joints. So rather than simply 『putting them on』 it’s more like 『equipping』 them part by part, which is difficult and forces them into awkward forward-bending positions as they struggle with them.

In other words, I’m surrounded by a sight of girls in tight spats, bending down and shaking their hips around, posing a considerable challenge in a Highschool Boy sort of way! Damn, that’s lewd?

The thin elastic fabric created with a singular goal of sticking to the body is acting according to its purpose, clinging to it like a skin, outlining every detail without omission. Yeah, please stop bending down with your butts facing me? Since your butts end up raised so high, you end up showing various parts that you shouldn’t be showing off like that?

Though clothed, the soft yet resilient flesh jiggled throughout the room; those healthy, and energetic bodies also displayed an alluring sensuality. At the very least, I wish they would avoid light beige, off-white and natural tones are dangerous enough, but the destructive power of light gray seems unexpectedly high… When The Geeks and Idiots were around, everyone wore black, didn’t they? This is pretty crazy?

And when they get to the plate armor, they equip it by raising high both hands, but this time it is two soft and round mounds of soft flesh jumping up and down, swaying and jiggling, like water balloons on the verge of exploding. At this point, I kinda just want to go home already, but we are at the inn right now, and haven’t even left yet? Just why a Highschool Boy has to endure such hardship on a daily basis… It’s surely tough being a Highschool Boy?

The rain continues. The idea of long rain might sound nice to some, but in the end it’s just a gloomy rain that keeps going without knowing when to stop.

「Drip-drip, jab-jab, plap-plap-plap? So when it rains, the bitches start going wild, and the one who controls the left jab controls the other world? So then the Bitch Empire is gonna be the thing?」

「「「Why would rain lead to world domination?! What do you even think we are?! Who said we start acting up when it rains?! And how many times do we have to say we’re not bitches before you get it?!」」」 (*pant pant pant*)

The bitches are barking at the rain. If they’re calling for reinforcements it could get ugly?.

「But it’s the first proper downpour, huh? Could be the rainy season?」 「It rained a few times while we were inside the Dungeon, roads were all muddy on the way back.」 「Ahh yeah, and it was raining at night too. I guess we got lucky.」 「Still, it’s nice when it’s sunny.」 「True, in a dangerous world like this, poor visibility from rain is a problem.」 「But this poncho is so cute!」 「The orphan kids looked like a little teru-teru bozu army. So adorable!」 「「「Yeah, that was cute as heck.」」」 「Thank you for letting us have some too, Haruka-sama.」 「Maybe umbrellas would add more to the mood?」 「Should we all go with floral patterns?」 「「「Kyaa, that would be so cute!」」」 「But the umbrellas Haruka-kun makes… they’d look kind of dangerous, right?」 「「「Oh no, that’s true.」」」 「Like, with a hidden blade inside?」 「Probably umbrella cannons?」 「If it’s an umbrella shield, I’ll protect everyone with it.」 「A spinning umbrella cutter would be kinda gory.」 「「「Ahhh! Now I can’t unsee it!」」」…

Even though it’s raining, they seem to be having fun. There’s a saying that when three girls gather, they get noisy, but when thirty gather, it’s just plain loud. No one’s got any poetic appreciation for the sound of raindrops, just a bunch of excited squeals and chatter as we march toward a dungeon. Well, they’re high school girls. It would be nice if they could just go on forever like this, laughing and shouting, without ever having to get involved in killing.

But the combat begins.

「Spearwall, Archers, Fire!」

「「「Jaa!」」」

Sister Girl and the others are being re-trained, with their rampaging mode suppressed and made to follow orders. It’s no surprise that our Pres-sama, who’s even trained the Idiots, can keep them in line.

「Split up and eliminate! Groups of three!」

「「「Jaa! On it! Heading out! I’m off! 」」」

They’re organized into three-person teams, two classmates paired with one nun or monk, and start hunting down monsters. Rather than wiping everything out as a group, they’re deliberately taking on fights individually to build combat experience. It’s a carefully considered, adaptive, and precise strategy. Apparently, being a class president is a lot more responsibility than it looks.

Meanwhile, the Presidents of Beating are standing by as observers and can’t get involved, so they look bored, playing speed with a deck of cards, but the game doesn’t last even a second! It ends in less than a tenth of a second, so we tried using four decks… but still, it wraps up in under a second. I want to join, but I honestly don’t think I can keep up.

We tried Old Maid next. But… everyone can see the Joker, so no one’s pulling it. The game just doesn’t work. We started from the 1st floor to help ease Sister Girl’s group into it, so there’s nothing for us to do until we reach the lower levels? Kinda getting bored here?