Chapter 231: I’m sure if it becomes a tourist hot spot I’ll make a killing with the massage chairs that I put all over the place.
Translator: “Pink Tea” Editor: ”Ryunakama”
Day 60 – Afternoon, White Weirdo Inn
As I was going around the new inn, making adjustments and tweaks to the interior, the family of innkeepers kept coming in turns and thanking me, sparing no words, while crying non-stop. That’s just how deep of a wound they received.
Even if they managed to survive, opened a new inn and got a new house, there is no way that old wounds can disappear so easily. There is no way they could forget the fear and sadness of losing the home and the town they were so familiar with, as well as all of the friends, neighbors, and acquaintances.
All this time they were carrying a scar deep in their souls, and it is because they went through that, they very well know how fleeting and fragile everyday life is, so they haven’t been able to truly have peace of mind since then.
But there is a perfect solution to that, which is the main feature of today’s program – a citadel inn! Invincible, Impregnable, and Indestructible Imperial Inn 『White Weirdo』 has nothing to fear! A safe and secure place to stay. Well, we never mentioned it to them, but with the regulars here being top-rank beings of this world like Emperor Slime or Dungeon Emperor, while all of the classmates are S-grade adventurers of over level 100, this place was already the safest one in the world to begin with, but having lost everything they must’ve wanted some sort of visible guarantee of security. Yeah, this inn is impossible to take down.
I can’t possibly give them back what they’ve lost, but I can help with not losing anything in the future. As I learned at that village, this is the most I can do.
What countless heroes of the frontier managed to protect, will be then defended by new heroes of the frontier that inherited their will. So even if I can’t do anything, I can help and assist, as tiny as it might be, that’s all I can do. And this is why I won’t allow this place to fall!
But the interior took more work than I expected. I accidentally got carried away and even added furniture. But since it’s 『White Weirdo』, wouldn’t one want to unify in a white color? And well, don’t hotels usually have that white image? Moreover, it makes the place look more spacious, giving it an extra sense of cleanliness, and emphasizing the interior’s features! The lobby looks like some sort of a museum, with Venus de Milo, Nike of Samothrace, a huge painting of sunflowers and other art pieces lined up. If they were to find out about this in the previous world I’d be in deep trouble! But Tutankhamun wasn’t very popular, so I had to remove it, since it apparently looked like a monster to them? Well, duh!
And it also seems that this world is too sensitive, apparently, neither nude paintings or nude statues are allowed. Since Venus de Milo is topless too, she had to dress up, making a slightly lonesome sight, and Venus-san also wasn’t allowed to be born.
Good grief, even though there is a beauty incarnate, far superior to any art pieces out here, performing and undergoing far more sensitive acts, stimulating and getting stimulated back, thrilling the highschool boy’s desires every single night, how pitiful. The sculptures of Gian Lorenzo Bernini to which I dedicated the most effort were all banned? It’s art, you know? I’m not kidding?
But one thing that I want to say out loud is that that Antonio Corradini’s『Modesty』is wearing clothes! She is? I swear? Still no? But I worked so hard on it?
Putting away 70% of the art pieces that I’ve gone through such great efforts to make, I moderately decorate the place with the rest.
But I went all out on the imperial rooms. The level at which it’s fine to welcome even royalty here, the absolute highest top of this world. The only issue is that since this is a kingdom, Slime Emperor and Ex-Dungeon Emperor happen to be the only Emperor title bearers, the rest is lower rank, royalty like Goblin King, Kobold King? Who can’t be allowed to stay?
Actually, I never stayed at the imperial hotel, so I have no idea how it’s supposed to be, or rather, that’s how it’s for most people. But we do have a grandiose rip-off of the imperial hotels luxurious collection, so it has to be imperial too? I mean, I didn’t even take a step inside a hotel, let alone stay at one? Not even a love hotel, you know? I mean, why would I go there alone?
「Hmm? I do feel like it’s lacking something, but that’s up to the owner to decide, so if you have any other requests shoot away? Also, the part that we are currently renting out, I made a sort of an annexe out of it, but if you’d like I can just connect it normally to the main building and unify the interior there too? Is there anything you want? How about arming up as well?」
The entire poster family is shaking their heads with open mouths? No requests it seems. Since they are going to manage and operate this place, they must be firm with their demands for it, but they seem to be at a loss for words? They keep freezing all together with their mouths gaping? Freezing up upon seeing the lobby, freezing up after arriving at the viewing platform, and they froze up on a magic-powered elevator too? They also froze up upon seeing imperial rooms, large baths, and even training grounds. They just kept following me with open mouths without saying a word? Is that some sort of a medical condition they share in the family? Perhaps radio calisthenics can help alleviate the stiffness? But there is no radio in this world.
Meanwhile, a huge crowd has gathered outside, as I found out when I tried to step out. This is the first 8-storey building of the town and it even comes with a viewing platform, moreover, glass by itself is unusual in this area, but it’s lavishly used for every room, each one coming with a huge glass window, so the inn must appear ultra-luxurious.
The poster family is making a great effort to explain things to the clamoring townsfolk, this place will definitely become a tourist attraction. And since I installed numerous massage chairs it’s bound to become a huge profit to me.
Since I have a pretty half-assed amount of time to spare I’ll drop by the weapon store, or rather, the blacksmith, or rather, the bald bearded uncle’s shop.
Truly a bloodcurdling pressure, the sight is hurting my eyes. The baldness! And beardedness!
Striking iron with all this might, he then strikes it again, and again, and again, striking it with an effortless finesse that makes his precise and elaborate work with hammer appear like a mindless manual labor, then ascertaining the state of the iron, reheating it, and striking it again.
The people for whom it looks like a simple manual labor must’ve never made an earnest effort to create something. This is the one striving to attain a supernatural skill, the one reaching for what lies further beyond the limit, an artisan living true to his craft, this is what it truly means to be creating something. Ah~, and I’m stuck making more bras today, huuuh, well, those require quite a lot of focus too? But I don’t have to be making bras even at a forge. I might need a piece of wire though, but for now cloth was able to provide enough support. That actually was far more difficult than creating that bridge in my sweet home’s garden? A true wonder of engineering!
Well, since I’m at a blacksmith’s workshop I should put bras aside, I have business with the old man.
「My bad. Did you wait? I’ve prepared the gold, and I’ll also buy whatever you have to sell. We are doing great thanks to you. And we now have enough iron to smith as much as we want. People seek blades of my creation. Tell me what you wish, I’ll do anything.」
What I certainly don’t wish for is an old man getting all affectionate with me? There is no demand for bald bearded old men! No way in hell! Well, if we had a dwarf loli here then there could’ve been a certain demand, or rather, the geeks would’ve been frequenting the place, buying up even the most useless junk! Could’ve ripped them off like crazy with some sort of『Handshake Coupon』added, but since it’s an old man, no chance.
「Nah, I just came to pick up your orders? Magic stones, magic stone dust, magic stone liquid, enchanted, unenchanted, just say what you want?~ I accept orders for specific enchants and effects too, you know~? You need ‘em, don’t you? I mean, you made this stuff since you received a request, but it’s not like you made it just for sale, right? After all, you wouldn’t be able to make something like this for money alone? You are desperately struggling to make something that would eclipse even your finest masterpiece that you put all your soul into, aren’t you? You don’t want to allow anyone to die, so you are doing the best you can, but you clearly see that it’s not enough, so you’re struggling to create something even greater, right? So I’ll supply you? What do you want? I can make anything? I mean, you aren’t content with what you have for now, aren’t you? After all, it’s obviously impossible to make invincible weapons or armor that no one can overcome, but you are going to do it anyway, right? It’s not like you will give up even if it’s impossible, right? So you need it, right? That’s why I came to sell you what you need? Sort of?」
He surely must want to give high poison and debuff resistance to the basic soldiers’ equipment, and if possible add all sorts of other defensive effects and properties.
And if that is not possible, he would surely want to make it as strong, durable, and as tough as possible. If that can raise the possibility of survival even a tiny bit, he will keep tempering. So he must surely need this.
Thus, I came to sell? Since they are giving their all to create arms that will protect those that are risking their lives to protect others, I’ll at least lend them a hand? I mean, it’s super profitable?
Now, I made some profits at the blacksmith, time to visit the general store… or rather, not, they will definitely give me additional orders, hm? The Maid Girl is running, but she is wearing normal clothes, not the lewd dress. Damn this maid, even though she is a maid, there hasn’t been a single instance of her wearing maid clothes, a blasphemy to maids? No, she is an actual professional maid, but even so? But she is so careless, running in normal clothes despite her precarious situation! Good grief, if you are going outside, at the very least equip yourself properly? Even though that lewd dress is capable of weakening or completely nullifying attacks of monsters from initial floors? But well, were she to wear that dress outside that would’ve stirred other sort of troubles, moral related, or rather, she would’ve been arrested by the guards.
「And so I went and super urgently made a super high-grade maid uniform. Every sort of resistances, speed, strength, and even hand-to-hand combat buffs, ALL Stats 20% Up, and +DEF as well, so this is a close combat version of that lewd dress, but in the form of a maid uniform? Well, it’s lewd though? Well, it’s for self defense, and if it isn’t lewd then it drains half of the fun from making it? Or rather, all of the fun? Sort of?」
I also crammed it with every sort of hidden weapon, finally succeeding in adding 『Storage』property to an item. And this Maid Girl is strong, hence equipment oriented for an assassin! It’s lewd though!
Naturally, 『Storage』is arranged in such a fashion as to make things appear as if she is pulling them from under the miniskirt? Yup, marvelous. I also stored a spare 『Demon God’s Zweihander』rip-off in there, so the mere thought of a two-meter sword being pulled out from under a maid skirt gets me going! A lewd maid-san armed with a two-meter sword already sounds amazing on its own! Although I made it driven by a sudden whim, it’s good stuff. And it’s also lewd.
I mean, no one can escape unfazed if assaulted by such a lewd maid assassin in that open-shoulder open-back cleavage wide-open outfit which still provides full protection! Yeah, were I to be attacked it would become the most non-trivial matter putting that outrageous slit starting at the navel level to good use that assassination would’ve turned into an Ah~Ah~ssination? Under the apron dress part it’s basically naked apron, you know? That’s basically how exposing it is, but magic provides complete protection, and naturally fishnet knee-socks with frills are also included, and despite having open shoulders the outfit also comes with frilly long gloves, making for a scandalous sight! Yeah, I wish to be assaulted!
「Not only did you spare my life but even granted me such expensive equipment, I don’t know how I can possibly express this feeling of gratitude… The feeling of gratitude which was blown away by the sheer lewdness of this thing, why is there an opening at such a spot? I’m pretty sure this is an area that shouldn’t have any openings, but there is a huge gap? Moreover, the previous dress too, what is with this lewdness? It’s like it has no intention of covering anything, but at the same teases by barely keeping it out of sight? Calling this a maid uniform, just what sort of a job do you think a maid is that you came up with such a design? And why did I put this on? And why are you staring so hard!? And who is it that is making me work in such a vulgar outfit and is trying to put that indecent dress on the princess? Outrageous! This is lese majeste! It deserves capital punishment! …(Followed by a bellow)」
「So, is Royal Girl going to act? The Royal Army’s aim is most likely Royal Girl? If she acts now the chaos would provide a perfect opportunity to target her, and there might already be traps in place? Even Meripapa-san is stopping her, right? What is she trying to do? Didn’t things progress far past the stage where they could’ve been stopped? On top of that, is she trying to stop a war with just two people? Is she alright in the head?」
Running around the town they are preparing for for the trip and the fighting, stocking up on weapons, medicine and items.
「If the princess says she is going to stop this, I’ll simply obey and protect her until the very end. So I’m grateful for the equipment, no matter how lewd it might be. Even if it’s shamelessly indecent, with this I can be the princess’ sword and shield, thank you very much.」
Good grief, they still haven’t given up on this, she is still intending to protect the kingdom and the frontier.
They are putting their lives on the line to stop the war, they are trying to do this with only two people.
Not only is she trying to shoulder the Royal Family but even the kingdom and the frontier, it’s obvious that she will be crushed by the weight of such a burden, but despite being already crushed by it, she is trying to get up while still carrying it all.
Looks like a foolish princess that came to throw away her life, was an utterly foolish Royal Girl who wouldn’t give up from just that.