Chapter 284 Part 1
Chapter 284: Great customers with self-delay strategic capability and information leak function attached part 1
Day 69 – Morning, Souvenir Store, Fake Dungeon.
After the worst transportation to another world, I’ve had quite a few worst days,.. But no morning was as bad as this one. I mean, there is no tragedy worse for a highschool boy than welcoming a morning with more than 30,000 middle-aged men!
「Kid, you are an early riser. Alright, prepare breakfast for 30 people. No, make it 40.」
I’m not early, I haven’t slept! I mean, with 30,000 middle-aged men around it’s too sordid for sleep. Moreover, I have to set up traps at Murimuri Castle while supplying the nobles’ army on the other side, so I’m very busy?
Gathering around the strategy map in the morning, the nobles are quibbling back and forth. Well, thanks to the pointless instructions from those guys I’m actually having an easy time, so they proved themselves useful. I mean, there is no way I could keep up with making traps, if the soldiers were allowed independent decision making. After all, 30,000 people are enough to entirely fill the Fake Dungeon. If they tried to make use of their sheer numbers, and attempted to launch a swift attack all at once, then delay tactics wouldn’t have worked, turning into simply a retreat battle with stone golems. If they’ve done so I wouldn’t get a chance to rip them off, and it also would’ve quickened the Church’s movements. And yet those guys keep making orders for every little thing and demanding reports on everything, Truly very useful middle-aged men with self-delay strategic capability and information leak function attached. Moreover, they are great customers (suckers) that I can rip-off as much as I want.
「I’d like to begin besieging the castle by tonight. To think someone as noble as us would have to spend nights in such a hole.」
「Now now, just bear with it for today. Moreover, with this our families will also be counted among the heroic lineages that conquered a dungeon, so country bumpkins like Omui won’t be able to act so arrogantly anymore.」
「Heroic lineage doesn’t sound too bad, but to think it will lack in sensual entertainment so much.」
「You will have more than enough of that once we enter the Frontier. They might live in the sticks, but as rumors have it, the Frontier’s women have both looks and charm to them.」
「Umu, I’d certainly need to taste them myself. In such a case it’s all the more reason to crush such a hole without delay.」
Umu? As a highschool boy I definitely agree on the lack of sensual, but taste? Is he going to bite their heads? Is he perhaps the Bitches’ comrade? Looks like there was some fearsome enemy hiding in the plain sight all along! He looks kind of weak though? Or rather, even if those middle-aged men attacked the Club City they’d just get beaten up and that’d be the end of it? Yeah, that is an actual town of carnage, that’s where the actual terror of the Frontier resides. I mean, it’s a demonic realm where aunties armed with clubs are all over the place! He will lose his head before he gets a chance to bite anyone? Quite seriously.
They finally reached the swamp with jumping stones at the halfway point. It’s a straightforward course that simply requires one to jump on a series of stones to get across, but liquid in the swamp has 『Corrosion』 effect. I really didn’t want to see a naked festival of middle-aged men, but it seems there is no need to worry about that, as they are steadily filling up the swamp and preparing to set up bridges. Well, that’s the correct decision. I don’t want to see any naked middle-aged man, and the last stone there is actually covered in oil… For some reason everyone keeps falling for it, getting stuck at this point? I even changed the color of the last stone… But everyone keeps jumping on it anyway? Of course you will slip down from it! Why did no one try to understand the thoughts of the creator? Could it be that they actually understand that this is a setup, and reading the mood are jumping on it on purpose?
I could hinder their progress here by making the swamp deeper, but let’s have them pass this area, since I don’t want to see any middle-aged men’s nudity. I mean, yeah, spare me that.
And now it’s the room with trap staircases. Several staircases lined up next to each other, if one places foot on the wrong step the stair turns into a slide, dropping the person to the very bottom. I actually had quite a hard time making this trap? It also happens to have dissolving liquid flowing out, so falling to the bottom almost guarantees ending up stark naked. I mean, it was a design suggested by Pres-san, she even added a carefully drawn picture, so even though it was troublesome, I couldn’t refuse her and installed it? And yet it was a trap that didn’t see any use until now since no one was able to reach it. Yeah, Pres-san looked very sad when she heard that Royal Girl and her party didn’t pass through here …Did she want to make her fall? Could it possibly be that she was interested in melting her clothes?
It took the swarm of the middle-aged man about an hour of climbing and sliding to understand the mechanism. From there, it took them another hour to find all of the trap steps… All while middle-aged men kept endlessly sliding, slipping, and falling, getting their clothes melted, a true picture from hell! Wait, no way, could it be that this is what Pres-san wanted to see?! Suspicions of Pres-sama interest in stripping middle-aged men revealed? Yeah, she’ll probably beat me up if I ask her about this.
And 30,000 lunches are getting sold, they must’ve started running out of their reserves… Which makes sense, since I keep appropriating them. The menu consists of just a thin water-like vegetable soup, the recipe directly learned from the orphans, and pieces of stone-like hard bread, but at least the quantity leaves nothing to complain. The orphans were having such meals daily, but with only meager portions. They were desperately trying to survive on such food, so I’ll accept no complaints about the cooking. Even that is too luxurious as the last supper for those heading to kill people living at the Frontier.
All of the Third Division’s common soldiers seem to have fled by now. The Stalker Girl’s clansmen must’ve been secretly working on guiding their escapes. However, the children of the nobility, making up the core of the Third Division, are all gathered here. They are the main culprits behind the Kingdom Army’s Third Division being taken over, chipping away the power of the Royal Family. Well, while they are indeed 『children』 of noble families, they are still middle-aged men, so there is no issue with burning them.
However… Will they be able to get outside before the night at this rate? Because as things are now, I’m about to get a very humiliating for a highschool boy record of spending a day and night in a cave alongside more than 30,000 middle-aged men. I mean, I’ve been holding back the urge of burning them for 24 hours, and yet the exit is still nowhere in sight, this is testing the limits of my endurance! Aaaaah, I want to burn, I want to burn, I want to burn them to cinders, even burned to ashes a middle-aged man wouldn’t become a good middle-aged man, because a good middle-aged man is the one that didn’t get born to begin with?
Armored Pres-san might already be on her way here. With this, one can be stopped, but it’s still too early. The Pres and others will arrive tomorrow at best. Well, tonight is definitely impossible, so it’s most likely going to be tomorrow morning. Normally it would probably take until past noon. And Meripapa-san should take more than two days even if he travels with elites only. And he is probably going to be the very last one to depart. As for the Geeks, Idiots, and Slime-san… they probably won’t make it in time. So even if it’s on time, only three at best, the fourth and the fifth one will be left to me.
Thank you. In that worry of a monolog there was some foreshadowing.