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Chapter 50 Part 11 – Alisa and Scarlet in the previous「108 times」. The Queen and the Maiden of Salvation. Malice is like a burning fire.

「…… I’ve helped you numerous times ……!! I didn’t help you for this to happen …… to kill you with my own hands ……!! …… I …… can’t even hug you anymore ……!! I don’t like this ending ……!! It’s too terrible ……!!」

I had reached my limit. I couldn’t take it anymore and plopped down on my desk, caused my hair to be disheveled, and cried.

「…… Y-You’ve done well to endure it this far ……!! I am so disappointed in myself for not being able to carry the princess’s sorrow!! My guts are twisting with rage ……!! At least, at the very least, please forget your duty as queen for now and cry until you feel better!! No one will hear you cry!! In the meantime, I, Matzo, will not let anyone pass through here, even if it costs me my life!!」

Matzo’s formal manner of speaking broke down. His eyes were red and his shoulders were trembling. He ran out of the room while crying loudly. The door was slammed so hard that it seemed as if the hinges were about to fall off. I heard him yelling in a tearful voice to the chamberlain and attendants to stay away from here for a while. He was a compassionate man, but he held back his emotions by behaving according to his duties.

The commotion of the crowd moved away. As the silence fell, I held the small box containing Alisa’s letter in my arms. It is no longer possible for me to embrace Alisa again. Thinking of that, even the letters she wrote to me felt very lovely.

「…… I’m sorry ……!! I’m sorry ……!! I can’t help you anymore …… Ali …… sa ……!!」

I cried and called Alisa’s name over and over again.
I looked up to the ceiling, stood still, and cried for a long time, screaming like a child.

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Scarlet’s cries even reached the guards room that was three rooms away. It was a sorrowful, faint, long, awkward, lonely cry that showed she was not used to crying. Her cries were like those of an orphan that has been left alone in the world.

Her cries were mixed with a heartrending cry, 「Why did you do this, Alisa ……!!」 Matzo groaned as he crouched and covered both ears.

「…… This is …… so unbearable ……!! I’d rather have my chest gouged out with a knife ……!! Why is it always the princess that is subjected to such sorrow ……!!」

He was also spilling tears as he let out a cry of anguish.

Scarlet always tried to hide her sadness. It was the first time he had heard her cry aloud since she lost her father, the 「Crimson Duke」. For Matzo, who in his heart considers Scarlet as a daughter, it was more painful than having his own body injured.

「…… Why!! Why would something so outrageous happen to her!! I can’t accept it!!」

In a fit of rage, Matzo tried to slam his fist into the wall.

His strong fist caused the air to rumble, but before he could smash the wall, he was stopped by the palms of a bulky person. A man as huge as Matzo quietly pushed back his fist. His face was as scary as Matzo, the scar on the right side of his face, which looked as if it had been left by the claws of a wild beast, made his impression even more ferocious. He is dressed in merchant-like clothes, but he is too muscular to look good in them. It was like a bear wearing children’s clothes. However, there was a light of profound intellect in the depths of his sharp eyes.

「…… Calm down, Sir Valentine. It is not like you to do this. Enduring is also part of the battle. Princess Scarlet is kind. If you destroy the wall, she will surely hold back her tears, in consideration of your feelings. Do you intend to deprive her of her right to cry?」

His voice was terribly hoarse because he had once been tortured and his vocal cords had been crushed.

「The two of us swore before the grave of the 「Crimson Duke」 that we would be Lady Scarlet’s shield. There are things we must first do before we brandish our fists in anger.」

「…… Ethelreed, you’re back. You’re late. Thanks to that, I’m the one who has to report the information regarding Alisa.」

At the return of his sworn friend, Matzo sighed deeply and quietly pulled back his fist.

「But thanks, you helped me out. I must confess, I can’t carry this burden alone. I’m afraid I see a lot of Mary in Princess Scarlet. It’s really painful when she cries like that. …… Don’t you think it’s funny? After all, Mary and the princess are so different in status and appearance.」

「 …… I don’t think it’s funny. I, too, sometimes see the smile of the late Marie overlapping with the princess. Both Lady Mary and Marie were wonderful women who wished happiness for others more than for themselves. So is the princess. I …… brought nothing but sorrow to Marie, who loved me. I have always regretted it, but I can’t even make amends. That’s why I want the princess to be happier than anyone else. Even if it means sacrificing myself.」

A flame of passion burned in Ethelreed’s eyes as he remembered his late lover.

「…… Mmm, I feel exactly the same way.」

Matzo nodded after regaining his composure.

「But I don’t think Lady Marie was unhappy. Even if it was only for a short time, you loved her so much. I am sure Lady Marie was happy. Don’t be too hard on yourself, Lady Marie will be sad.」

Matzo patted Ethelreed’s shoulder affectionately.

For a brief moment, Ethelreed’s lips were pursed and he looked as if he were about to cry. His face, aged beyond his years by hardship, is a faint shadow of his pure, young days. Ethelreed still loves Marie with all his heart.

He can remember the happy times as if it were yesterday. That is why the wounds in his heart from the time he lost her has never healed, and it continues to bleed. Even after more than 20 years, Marie lives on in Ethelreed’s heart. For him, Marie is not a person of the past.

And it was the same for Matzo.

「…… Thank you. I am sure Lady Mary was happy too.」

「…… I hope so. I’m always filled with trepidation whenever I think about how much I will have to apologize to Mary when I pass away …… Oh, it seems that the princess has finally stopped crying. If she can go to sleep for a little while, even if it’s only during that short moment, I hope she will be able to forget all the pain.」

Matzo muttered shyly and then breathed a sigh of relief.

When they are alone, Matzo and Ethelreed refer to Scarlet as 「Princess」 instead of 「Her Majesty」. Since the death of Scarlet’s father, the 「Crimson Duke」, they have looked after her as if they were her parents and they feel more comfortable referring to her that way. Of course, they never call her princess when someone else is present.

They moved into the living room next to the guards room. Matzo sat down on the couch across from the fireplace. His body is too big to fit in an ordinary chair.
Ethelreed remained standing upright.

「…… So, Ethelreed, what is the reason for the delay in your return? You already had evidence that the『Maiden of Salvation』was Lady Alisa, didn’t you? Surely, a man of your stature did not go around on a pleasure jaunt, right?」

At Matzo’s teasing question, Ethelreed’s expression turned grim.