Chapter 545: Road to Kingdom ② Once You’ve Eaten Poison, Might as Well Lick the Plate

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Translator: Nat


The cavalry and wagons depart rowdily with me in the lead.

It is a little earlier than when the citizens start waking up.
Some run out of their houses to check what is going on, but there are not enough to be called a crowd.

Those who came outside also have no clue what’s happening.

「There is no formal ceremony or send-off by the people. Although noisy, our sortie is rather inconspicuous.」

Myla mutters.

I was going to reply with something cool, but thinking about it now, we don’t really do many spectacular displays.

「Most of our sorties are sudden after all.」

Celia purrs when I scratch under her chin, and then a wagon unexpectedly runs up to me from the rear.

「Aegir-sama!!」

Kicking open the door was Nonna.
She pinches the hem of her dress as she steps down from the wagon and runs in a wild manner I’ve never seen before――――then trips.

「Uwah, she landed right on her face.」

Celia reflexively grabs her own nose and winces like she could feel the pain.
Nonna should be fine though, since she has her breasts to act as cushions when she falls forward.

In fact, it’s probably more dangerous if she sticks her hands out.

「Although there are many things I want to say, let me say this one thing. If Aegir-sama loses, I and the children and the stupid Carla……and all the maids that Aegir-sama secretly laid hands on, are all finished. Everyone will be tormented to death!」

She sits the twins Anastasia and Bartolome on Schwartz and sends them to me.
Bartolome is oddly timid and Anastasia is……smiling a little, what an incredible daughter.

「If we receive the news of Aegir-sama’s defeat, I will commit suicide along with the children. Please keep this in mind. You better win!!」

I pat the uneasy Bartolome on the head and lightly comb Anastasia’s hair as she gives me a big thumbs up, then lower them from Schwartz.

「Understood. I will win for sure.」

With my back turned, Nonna sees me off with her best farewell greeting as I challenge the royal family.
The children and maids follow suit, while the unmotivated Carla yelps from someone’s heel stepping on her toes.

I don’t want that scream to be the last thing I hear from Carla.
I have to win.

What I saw next was a group of elves lined up along the road.
They don’t appear to have any good intentions by any standard.

Standing one step in front are the chieftess of the forest elves, Yularen, and the chieftess of the black elves, Ijaris.

「「You’re scum.」」

The unquestionable insult almost makes me hard.

「You destroyed the peace we’ve finally attained. You also killed civilians and burned down the forest. It’s despicable.」

「One cannot avoid necessary battles. However I see this as an unnecessary battle. There is a difference between a brave warrior and a beast that wants to fight. Do it at your own peril.」

Total rejection. I smile sheepishly, since I was hoping to get the elves to help out if possible.

Honestly, it was my mistake for believing that everybody would accept the idea of rebellion and then conquering a nation, especially elves who dislike war. It hurts to be refused by the two I thought were on fairly good terms with me, but it can’t be helped.

「We will not get involved in war. And we will not be caught up in it either, so we’re withdrawing to the forest――now then.」

「What will you two do?」

The chieftesses’ eyes turn toward Natia and Felteris who have followed us tentatively.

After slight indecision, the two remain by my side.

「I will see it through to the end. I’m already too deeply involved to abandon you.」

Natia says as she looks at me with a pout.

「I have long since abandoned this savage man! However……I was forcefully pinned down and my womb is holding his child……uuugh! It’s too late!!」

Felteris bites her lip in humiliation.

Is it really my child?
I know you’ve been sleeping with other guys and not using contraception.

「Then this is where we part.」

Yularen says, pointing to Natia and Felteris.

「Our ties with you are cut. From now on, live as you please as stray elves.」

Natia nods quietly, having already prepared herself for such a fate, and Felteris screams “oh, the humiliation!” as usual.

The black and white elves head west and return to their forest.
We don’t have time to see them off, so we resume marching.

But then I feel a breeze on either side of me.
Yularen and Ijaris walk like they’re dancing and mount Schwartz.

「The relationship between Hardlett and the elves is temporarily severed.」

「However that doesn’t mean your relationship with us is finished. Don’t forget we are also connected as mother and child.」

Both of them softly close their lips around each of my ears.

「「For victory.」」

Then they vanish like the wind.

「Fufu, get down on your knees and apologize when it’s over.」

I kick Schwartz in the belly and spur him forward so that we can catch up with the vanguard that was still moving forward while I was talking.

「Go faster without rocking. Their whispers got me hard as steel so I might ejaculate on your back if you rub against me too much.」

This was the first time I heard a horse click its tongue.

「There is no time to hold a war council so we’ll review the situation as we march.」

Leopolt pulls his horse close to me, and Myla and Irijina also draw near.
Sekrit peeks her head out from a wagon and Tristan unwillingly transfers to Irijina’s horse.
Celia hops onto Schwartz as usual.

「Our current forces consist of 1000 cavalry, 3000 bow cavalry, 800 infantry boarded on wagons, 40 chariots, and 15 field artillery cannons. We have 4000 infantry centered around the 105th corps in the rearguard too……」

「But the strategy is to assault the kingdom before they figure out what’s going on, so the marching speed of the infantry will not make it in time. That’s why we’ll be joining up with the mountain nation and using those who aren’t equipped with bows as transportation.」

Literally everyone in the mountain nation will be participating in this operation.
Bow cavalry armor and bows are limited though so many will be wearing their hunting gear.

That kind of equipment won’t be effective against the fully-armed royal army of Goldonia anyways.
So it’s more useful if the mountain nation removes their gear and transports infantry instead.

「So…… 12 000 altogether?」

Myla makes a dissatisfied face.

「That’s not all. We aren’t limited this time.」

A giant shadow falls over us.
Pochi is flying in the sky with both his wings spread, and is surrounded by harpies dancing in the air.

Food, as well as rocks and pots full of oil which can be thrown by the harpies are stored on Pochi’s back, and there is a perch on Pochi’s underside.

「If he gets hit once, he’s likely to be covered in flames.」

「It’s impossible to hit Pochi from above when he’s flying. Besides, they’d be the ones on fire.」

The perch was attached by pressing melted iron onto Pochi’s scales.
If burning iron doesn’t hurt, I don’t think being covered in fire is anything to be concerned about.

A massive creature is also kicking up a cloud of dust as it advances.
If Pochi will be going, the smoothie is sure to follow.
Despite various supplies also being loaded on its back, the smoothie is comfortably keeping up with the horses.

Additionally, the lizard which should still be a baby is riding on top of the smoothie too.
It looks like the lizard is writing on a scroll, but I’m probably imagining things.

「We’ll also have an advantage in night battles.」

My eye shifts to a bizarre carriage with black planks nailed over the windows and a black cloth draped over the roof.
I can practically hear a scoff come from inside.

The good thing about a rebellion is that nothing needs to be hidden.
I can even fight with Catherine on my shoulders. I won’t because she’ll get injured of course.

「Next, the enemy’s situation. Presently, there are no units from the main force of the royal army or armies of powerful feudal lords around the capital including Radhalde’s territory. There are no squads over a thousand men, like knights, in each territory.」

「Over here. Wouldn’t the capital be packed?」

Leopolt nods at Sekrit’s retort.

「The Goldonian royal army has retained eight corps at the moment.」

A single army corps has approximately 15 000 soldiers.

「One is dispersed in the southern region.」

Rich forests and mines are scattered throughout the kingdom’s land once ravaged by the insects.
They are no threat to us as we move forward, but they can attack Rafen if they travel straight north.

「One is in the former Libatis region. Another is on the border of the city states.」

Those are the armies protecting the vast kingdom land of former Libatis and guarding against the city states respectively.
They will not interfere with our march either, but they are close to our territory.

「One is on the west coast of the North Teries. We can safely ignore this one.」

Everything will be over by the time they cross the river.
If not, then we’ll be finished.

「Then there are two each located in the north and south of the capital.」

There are 60 000 men around the capital just from the royal army alone.

「Additionally, there are the garrison and the guards. They are inferior to the army corps in terms of equipment and skill, but come to a total strength of 15 000.」

That makes a grand total of 75 000.

「B-but if we act fast, we should be able to attack them when they aren’t guarded!」

I hold Celia as she leans over my shoulder so she doesn’t fall.

「The keyword is ‘should’.」

Saying an army exists doesn’t mean they are ready and waiting.
It just means the soldiers are in the barracks and the headquarters or conducting a training exercise elsewhere, or depending on the time, over half of them may have returned to their families to rest.

This couldn’t be more true considering the fact that they think war has ended.
With commanders changing posts and new recruits being trained in a bunch of different places, they are far from being combat-ready.
If they were suddenly told to sortie, it would still take days to gather everyone and form a viable army.

「The issue is that the speed at which the army is organized depends on the ability of the commanders.」

If incompetent commanders get cocky, then we’re fine.
We can strike when the commanders are giving contradicting orders and leading the troops left and right.

「Although Erich can’t handle everything, he might bring together one complete squad.」

An army corps of 15 000 men is a squad with a balanced composition of spearmen, cavalry, and castle-building troops.
They are quite formidable if properly organized.

Nevertheless, I am confident we can break through one corps.

「The problem is how fast we do it. The opponent has no need to annihilate us or repel us. They can continue defending until their other squads get ready or reinforcements come from armies outside the capital or they might make a move towards Rafen.」

Sekrit furrows her brow in a serious manner without laughing or joking.

We’ll have no chance of winning if they do that.
And I’ve seen Erich do it in mere days.

That’s why――

「Alright, I’ve grasped the situation. The war council is over.」

Celia and Myla become let-down.

There is no way to know how much Erich can put together no matter how much we discuss it.

「Let’s hurry to the capital. When we get there, fight like hell. That’s all we can do.」

The rebellion is already set in motion.
I can’t stop now, so I just have to commit.

We set out early in the morning and headed north along the road that would allow us to march the fastest, cutting through Erich’s territory and taking a straight line to the royal capital.

Leopolt whispers to me along the way.

I visibly show my disgust by grimacing.

「What a horrible idea. You have to be a twisted guy to even say that out loud.」

「The possibility of the troops of the surrounding feudal lords joining forces is extremely low, though not zero. An attack on the defenseless Rafen is highly likely to affect the morale of our soldiers, and so we should squash any risks that we can.」

It’s surprising how he can say that so shamelessly.
I think to myself as I call Sekrit over.

「Cut all the bridges on the way. If possible, collapse the banks, flood the rivers, submerging any paths alongside the river.」

I speak to Myla, the leader of the cavalry, next.

「Burn the post towns by the road as we pass through.」

Myla reacts in shock.

「This is the military commissioner’s territory……of course a confrontation is unavoidable…… it’s just-」

Myla bites her lip when I repeat the instructions.

「I’m not telling you to cut down citizens. You can shout and chase them away.」

Myla’s face relaxes somewhat.

「There’s no time to persuade each person. Kill anybody who resists.」

Her face tenses up again.
Ah, I’ll tell her not to kill women.

「We have also told the mountain nation to sweep the major towns and villages along the way and disperse the people. The purpose of this is to disrupt the transmission of information and prevent an attack on Rafen.」

Heartless.

「I will also start a riot in the former Libatis region and give gold to the hoodlums in Zwei Elfie to terrorize the kingdom’s land and attract the attention of the army corps.」

How much of a villain is he?

「You’re supposed to be a traitor, devastating the kingdom which has supposedly achieved peace, right?」

Hearing that from Leopolt makes me want to cry.

I sigh as I watch the soldiers start to set fire to a town.

「I don’t know if they’ll make it in time, but I told Altair to let her followers run amok in various locations. I also told Ivanna to bombard the coastal towns with her remaining fleet.」

Leopolt turns to me with a slightly surprised look.

Celia puts dirt on her face and wraps a dirty cloth around her head.
I wonder if it’s her own interpretation of rebel fashion, how cute.

「Since I’ve eaten poison, I might as well lick the plate. For the sake of victory, I’ll do anything. Burn the cities of the righteous, pile up the corpses of the innocent――」

「Nooooo, mamaaaa!!」

A young girl screams when someone who appears to be her mother runs into a burning house.

I shorten my speech and jump off Schwartz.
I kick down the wall of fire, grab the collapsed mother and toss her outside.
Held to her chest is not a baby……it was a jar full of gold coins.

「Hey.」
「Well……」

I pinch her sooty cheek and check her body, especially her breasts and ass, for injuries before handing her back to the daughter.

「Where was I? Right, piling up the corpses of the innocent……」
「Except for women.」

Who said that?
Celia and Myla look warmly at me. Man, I just lost my image as a diabolic villain.
Leopolt ignored the small commotion and went on ahead.

「Anyways, let’s resolve ourselves.」

I wouldn’t say I’m a kind person.
If I killed a former allied soldier or burned down the house of a citizen I don’t know, I would just feel sorry and that would be the end of it.

But if it was someone I shared a drink with, someone who I fought shoulder-to-shoulder with, someone who picked up women with me――

「I hope you don’t notice and stay asleep.」

I hop back on Schwartz and continue north from the flaming town.


Two Days Later. Late Night. Goldonia – Capital.

Erich was making a passionate speech to King Alexandro.

The sweat dripping down the side of his head wasn’t cold sweat.
He needed to explain with such emotion that he didn’t have the luxury to be sweating in fear.

The king watches with an expressionless face and Kenneth also observes calmly, feeling it wasn’t his place to interfere.

Erich was here obviously because of the annihilation of the investigation team, which had been confirmed by another source slightly after the initial report.

This scene was supposed to be seen in the evening.
The reason it was delayed by a few hours was that the king’s mistress, Rosario, had collapsed from an unexplained cramp during dinner, and there was even a brief time where she had stopped breathing.

The king fell into a partial frenzy and only calmed down after the doctor reassured him that Rosario’s condition stabilized.
In a situation where the king would have normally canceled all his official duties anyways, Erich’s urgent report was so important that it couldn’t be allowed.

「Therefore, he has no ability to conspire, nor does he have the benefit of doing so――」

The king stands up from his throne and stomps his heel on the floor to cut off Erich.

「Two hundred knights of the kingdom were subdued by cannons and siege weapons, my loyal retainer Fitton was killed, and the inspection team was destroyed. Bandits ambushed them? Or are you saying that the barbarians are pulling cannons and coming to plunder us!? There is no doubt about Hardlett’s treason!!」

If a hundred people were asked, they would also likely say Hardlett was the culprit.

「The fact that Hardlett’s soldiers and weapons were used can no longer be refuted. However he is known to the world to be a big idiot. I believe that he either wasn’t aware of his subordinate’s reckless behavior or he was framed!」

Erich keeps insisting.

「That kind of excuse won’t work! The foolishness of not managing his subordinates is enough for him to take the blame!!」

Erich’s cheeks relax a bit as he is scolded.
He was fine with things moving in this direction.

「Indeed, I agree! However, it is too far of a stretch to compare the crime of stupidity to the crime of treason!」

Kenneth softly chimes in.

「It is unknown whether Hardlett was simply taken along for the ride or whether he himself did it of his own will. Because it is unknown, shouldn’t we think that he wished to do it?」

Erich immediately objects.

「Hardlett’s stupidity far exceeds imagination. It is a truth that is common knowledge to those in the capital as well as the territory! I’m sure it is the former!」

As the king shows signs of contemplation, Erich further pushes the current line of thinking.

「The other day, that man who spoke rudely in front of Your Majesty――I believe the mastermind is him, Leopolt. He probably resented the fact he embarrassed himself and dragged Hardlett into his folly.」

Erich presses forward before Kenneth could open his mouth.

「Your Majesty is surely upset too, but he is someone who received peerage and became of noble status. There is absolutely no need to blame Hardlett for the same crime!」

High treason is a serious crime for which all family members are jointly liable for and punishable by death.
Of course, if a subordinate bows to the king, his lord is guilty of the same crime even if he does not know about it.
A subordinate who is a commoner is the property of the noble after all, so the excuse “the sword stabbed someone by itself” can’t be made.

But nobles under the king are each responsible for their own actions.
Even if their duties and pay are dependent on another noble, that doesn’t make them property.

「I think it would be appropriate to reduce his title, take away his domain, impose an eye-popping fine, and imprison him. I will take full responsibility for supervising him.」

Erich bows deeply to the king.

Meanwhile, Kenneth whispers to the king.

「Precedence states that even if a subordinate of noble peerage is guilty, the lord will also be charged in the case of high treason. The military commissioner has a close relationship with Hardlett and I’m afraid that is leading him to pursue a lighter sentence.」

「Your Majesty, we’ve been friends since you were referred to as Your Highness! It is human nature to be lenient!」

The king holds up a hand to silence both of them and closes his eyes.

「Hardlett’s merits are enormous. However those merits are still not enough to void his unlawful behavior. Either way, the two incidents are his doing.」

「But that’s――」

The king’s hand once again prevents Erich from speaking further.

「I will cover the shortcoming with my emotions. To me, he is also a friend since I was a mere prince. I don’t want to see his pale severed head.」

The king scribbles on a sheet of paper with a brush dipped in red ink.

「Confiscate all of his land except for Rafen. Lower his rank to count, revoke his military privileges, confiscate all his fortune and fine him for the same amount. His wife and children will live in the capital as hostages. In addition, he will be serving under Radhalde.」

Erich sighs in relief whereas Kenneth gasps in surprise.

「His domain is vast. It might be comforting to give the confiscated assets to those who suffered losses. Burning the land to the ground and subjugating the people will do no one any good.」

The king first addresses the dissatisfied Kenneth and then directs his attention to Erich.

「If he is reluctant or tries to cheat his way out of any one of these conditions, I will have to kill him. Make sure you warn him.」

「Yes Your Majesty. My sole concern is whether his wives and children will fit in the capital mansion.」

The king could not help bursting out in laughter.

「Just his legal wife is fine. If I were to demand for all his mistresses, all of Rafen might have to move.」

It didn’t take long for the king’s expression to return to being strict.

「For this matter, I added my personal feelings and your merits to his merits. Do you understand what this means?」

「……yes.」

Erich has used up his good will earned by his merits――in other words, his power struggle with Kenneth has ended in a loss.
Erich nods in acknowledgement of that.

Inside Kenneth’s heart, he should be surprised, sneering, and delighted at the victory that has rolled at his feet.

「I apologize for my rudeness, but please let me in!! It’s an emergency!!」

「Enter!」

The king’s face instantly turns pale.
He thinks of Rosario’s condition.

「Urgent news!! I am an express messenger from Lord Radhalde’s territory!」

As the messenger rushes into the room, shouting, the king pats his chest in relief.

「That affair has been cleaned up. I’m sure this is Hardlett hurrying to make an excuse. What a fool.」

The messenger kneels down before the king and reports without lifting his head.

「5000 cavalry and wagons are heading northing from Hardlett’s territory! They are burning towns and cutting bridges as they advance through Lord Radhalde’s territory!」

「Huh?」

Erich lets out a sound of disbelief that he has never made before.

「Lord Hardlett is personally leading the charge! It has been confirmed by multiple people, there is no mistake!」

Several more individuals run through the opened door and shout loudly.

「A group of what appear to be eastern barbarians are moving westward, looting towns and villages!」

「A citizen uprising is raging in Libatis! The revolt appears to be centered around the Hardlett territory!」

「A river fleet commanded by Admiral Ivanna has suddenly opened fire on the coastal towns!」

「There is disturbing activity within the city states! Reports indicate soldiers from Aless are sortieing, details unknown!!」

The king, Erich, and Kenneth, the three highest ranked in Goldonia, stare at each other with their mouths agape.

「Report from the head information officer! Hardlett’s residence in the capital was found to be unoccupied after suspicious activity inside resulted in a break-in! The mansion is vacant despite the rooms being brightly lit!!」

Erich is in a dazed state while Kenneth desperately tries to keep calm.
It was the king who regained his composure first.

「I guess this has become unnecessary.」

The king crumples the document in his hand and glances at the scolding words directed at Hardlett before tossing it into the fireplace.


Military Strength Comparison

Hardlett Rebel Army
Vanguard
Cavalry: 1000, Bow Cavalry: 3000, Wagon Infantry: 800, Chariots: 40, Field Artillery: 15

Rearguard
Bow Cavalry: 3000, Mountain Nation (unarmed): 4000, Infantry (105th corps main force): 4000

Goldonian Army
Near the capital
4 corps (in preparation): 60 000
Capital Defense + Guards: 15 000

Regional Troops
4 corps (dealing with riot): 60 000


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