Chapter 64: Attack on Wife

 


Translator: Nat                                                                Editor: Beansprout


–Aegir POV–1

Goldonia Royal Palace

Nobles are lined up dressed in formal uniforms and King Alexandro sits with an air of composure on the throne. I am standing there amongst those nobles too. Today, they didn’t approve of Celia coming along so it can’t be helped that she has nothing to do. The only ones with the right to be allowed to line up here are those with Baron status and above, and also the king’s soldiers and servants.

A trumpet’s sound rings out and a palace soldier dressed in an elegant outfit declares sonorously.

「The proxy for Marquess Albens, Lady Claudia Albens Malordol has arrived!」

「Let her through!」

The king declares exaggeratedly. All of us are waiting for her sake in the first place, so I don’t think there is a need to purposely put on an act, but nobles are troublesome beings.

「Lord Hardlett, it’s a state guest. You better not take your usual attitude, alright?」

Erich gives me a warning while standing beside me. That’s right, when I was told that Claudia was coming, I didn’t feel any sort of tension. Actually, she is a woman from my past, but if I told Erich that, he would probably faint.

The noblewoman is walking on top of a red carpet and the impression I got from seeing Claudia after such a long time was entirely different from before. The appearance of her flowing dress as she walks with her head held high made me feel that this was truly what a noble looked like.

Claudia bows elegantly as she walks up in front of the king.

「It is a pleasure to meet you for the first time, Your Majesty Alexandro the First. On this occasion, I have come as a proxy for my husband. I cannot thank you enough for this extremely kind treatment as a state guest.」

「You did well to come from such a long distance. I appreciate yours and Lord Malordol’s sincerity.」

Claudia returned to her normal posture and started to speak while smiling.

「I apologize on behalf of my husband for coming to greet you so late. Even though our family and your Majesty has similar blood flowing in us.」

It seems that in the past, Marquess Malordol’s family has married into the royal family.

「What of it, during my enthronement there was continued unfortunate war damage. It can’t be helped.」

「I thank you for your generosity. Although this is sudden……we have been entrusted with a letter from the great king, His Majesty Jutland the second, for Your Highness.」

A slight murmur rose up from among the nobles. Being entrusted with a letter means that Claudia’s visit has been officially recognized by the highest authority in the Federation, Jutland the second. Her level of importance has increased even further.

Claudia respectfully takes out the letter and the king stands up to receive it. Normally, it would be unthinkable for the king to directly take it. The Olga Federation and the Goldonia Kingdom are on friendly terms with each other, however, for many years the Federation undoubtedly held the advantage in the power relationship. It wasn’t just a relationship between kings, it was something close to a ranking. Even though they are kings, disrespect was not permitted.

「I have certainly received it.」

「Next, I will present gifts to your Majesty. Please take this.」

Claudia hands over a list of gifts.

「Good, thank you. I will also be giving you something in return.」

The king’s aide hands Claudia a list. As if it was something natural, both parties seem to have been prepared.

「If they were going to do an exchange, wouldn’t it be better if the both of them took what they want? They didn’t have to bring the heavy stuff.」

「This is called a noble’s manners. Also, Lord Hardlett, I thought I told you not to make pointless chatter.」

I got Erich angry. Just when I was about ready to thank her for her efforts and looked at Claudia, her eyes met with mine.

「-!」

Claudia’s face became dyed with joy in the blink of an eye. Even now, she has a smile that seemed to jump out in dance and her eyes are glued to me.

「Then, let’s begin the welcoming banquet immediately. There are people I want to introduce you to. Escort the Lady to the lounge!」

Just like that, Claudia was taken by the servants and left the room. She was desperately staring at me until the end. At first, I got the impression that she was a noble of a different nature from me, but those eyes are a familiar color from that of a crazed woman.

「At the dinner party, His Majesty will probably introduce you as her entertainer for the evening. Don’t get her angry with your rudeness, you hear?」

「It’ll be fine. Absolutely fine.」

Claudia will not get mad at something like me being rude.


「This is Viscount Aegir Hardlett. A man who has shown achievements that makes my heart dance in the previous Arkland military campaign. I will let this man guide you around my country as well.」

「Nice to……meet you, please treat me well, Lord Hardlett.」

Claudia’s eyes moisten and her voice trembles. However, as expected it seems she still has the reason to keep herself from being embraced in a place like this.

「Good, it seems that the Lady is also interested in your heroic tales. Let her hear them while you guide her.」

「Yes. I will accept it.」

「With this man, as long as he has a sword, you may not need an escort either. Then, I’m counting on you.」

The king and Claudia arrives at the table and are chatting about some bland topics while eating. But I can hear a constant sound coming from the woman’s feet. I can hear the inappropriate constant tapping of her foot that seems to be saying ‘Hurry up and end’.


The eating is finished and the ball starts. The nobles are consecutively greeting the guest of honor, Claudia, and with a sigh, she holds her head in her hand.

「……Please excuse me, I am not feeling quite well, it may be the fatigue from my long journey.」

「That isn’t good.」

「Please rest.」

「Hey servant, bring some water.」

「If I rest a little, I may feel better. Lord Hardlett, can you take me to a place with a good breeze?」

She leans lightly on my arm, but from her gripping strength I don’t think she’s feeling that bad. Her rough breathing is probably not because of weakness, but probably due to her arousal.

「I understand. Please follow me.」

「Please take care.」

「Lord Hardlett, treat her courteously.」

The acting is perfect. I didn’t take Claudia to the balcony or the lounge, but I took her to the courtyard.

「Are you alright? Lady Malordol?」

「…………That’s wrong. Don’t call me by that man’s name, I am Claudia. I am your woman!」

Claudia jumps into my chest. She wiped off her lipstick with a handkerchief and gives me kisses all over my face, like a storm.

「Since that day I lost you, I have been forever dreaming of this day! My beloved one, the master of my heart!」

Having said that much, I thought it would be rude just to have it done to me so I was about to kiss her too, drawing her face to me, but her face still had makeup. It would be troublesome if it were to crumble, and in the first place, I didn’t like the smell of makeup. I avoid the lips and kiss her on the nape of her neck.

「Ah, you’re doing it here? No, I am your woman, so I am at your mercy.」

Claudia misunderstands my avoidance of her lips as a feeling of sexual excitement and pulls her underwear off from inside her dress. As expected though, we can’t do it here.

「………we’re stopping Claudia. There is still a party to attend after this right?」

「For something like that, I’ll just say that I left my seat because I wasn’t feeling well. In the end, it is just for appearance sake, so how about it.」

I place my finger over her lips.

「Please don’t make trouble for me Claudia. His Majesty has appointed me to be your entertainer.」

I can tell even with the makeup on top, but she is blushing and becoming meek.

「I am terribly sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you trouble. It’s just that my love overflowed……so please don’t hate me.」

I shake my head to say ‘that’s not how it is’ and bury her face in my chest. As usual, she has such intense mood swings.

「Do I look like a man with such little tolerance? Now, put your underwear back on and let’s return to the party. We still have time after this.」

But Claudia does not move.

「If we return right away, the earlier lie will be exposed. Stay here for a little longer……」

Why are you opening the front?

「I’ve dreamed of the day that I get to service you, and I’ve practiced, you know? I’m only using my mouth, so be reassured that your clothes will not get messed up and please enjoy.」

「Nmuu……」

Claudia takes out the cock from my pants, putting it while it’s still soft, deep into her throat without hesitation. The thing that isn’t even erect slightly chokes her while rubbing her throat and getting stimulated.

「It hasn’t been washed, you know? Won’t it be better if I wiped it at least?」

I just took a bath last night and went to the toilet many times. I haven’t done any preparations, so it is hard to call that place clean.

「Puha! I don’t mind. If your tool is dirty, then I’ll use my mouth to clean it. If you like, do you want me to drink your urine?」

「No, it’s fine if you’re not bothered.」

「It has gotten hard. Then I’ll continue.」

Once again, the erect thing was put deep into her throat, but it has gotten much larger than before and the enlarged cock is filling her throat up. It seems that she can’t breathe so periodically she takes it out of her mouth and takes breaths.

「Is it big?」

「Yes, it’s huge……. Much more so than when you made love with me in the past……nboh!」

As if unable to hold herself back any longer,she takes it in and sticks to my hips. When I look, she has reached a hand to her pantie-less crotch and is fingering herself, making schlicking sounds. Erich said not to be rude, but even pissing on her doesn’t seem like it would get her mad, let alone bad manners. The service continues while I’m thinking of stupid things.

For a while, there are only lewd sounds coming from the courtyard. Claudia sucks my cock quite well and makes me feel good, but there’s just about no time left. On the small chance that someone finds us it would turn into something serious.

「We don’t really have much time. Please do it rougher.」

As if understanding, Claudia nods and energetically swings her head. The cock is sucked deep into her throat, she wants to vomit several times but she doesn’t stop moving.

「Egoh-! Ngho! Ue-!!」

Seeing the appearance of a woman servicing me while making such sounds, my semen started to rise up.

「Claudia……」

I hold her head to tell her of my intentions and she nods. I have gotten her acknowledgement and I hold her head down with all my might as I twist my cock deep into her throat and swing my hips. If I take too long then she won’t be able to breathe, so I ejaculate after swinging my hips a few times.

「Nnnnnnnn!! Nnnnh…………」

With splurting sounds when the semen hits, I release her head and pull my cock out.

「Nngh-!」

Claudia covers her mouth after having it pulled out and looks down. It’s because on top of such intense thrusting in her throat she had quite a large amount of semen in her mouth. It can’t be helped that she has to vomit so I turned around, but she points her face upwards and swallows everything that was coming up.

「……Wouldn’t it be easier on you if you threw up?」

「Absolutely not! Do you think I’ll waste even a single drop of my beloved’s seed juice?!」

Love is serious. In addition, Claudia wants the liquid inside my rod as well and is sucking it out countlessly.

「Then shall we return? ……Aah, how nice it is to be able to taste this dick in this place……tonight, I’ll be anguishing endlessly and won’t be able to sleep.」

Somehow or another I was serviced one-sidedly. I was a little bit useful.

「Please make a hoop with both hands.」

「? Like this?」

I thrust my cock into the ring that was made by Claudia’s hands. As the cock passes through the ring of her hands, it approaches her face. I repeated that three times.

「How is that? Will you be able to pass the night?」

「A-amazing!! This huge thing is approaching me! Aah, my mouth is opening by itself..……」

Every time the cock gets closer to her face, she extends her tongue out like a snake. But it can’t be helped even if we have started again so I pull my hips back after that one time.

「Well, it’s finished. Let’s go back.」

「No way……」

I forcibly stuff the erect cock back into my pants and fix my clothes. Claudia has a reluctant face but she gives up and fixes her clothes as well.

「Please remember what we did just now for tonight.」

「Yes, I will imagine your cock digging into all the holes in my body, and masturbate until I go crazy.」

It would bother me if you go crazy though. The entertainer for tomorrow onward will also be me.


After that, Claudia returned to the party as if nothing happened. After a short period of pleasant talk, the banquet finishes, and she lodges in a villa made for state guests.

「Well, Lord Hardlett, thank you very much for tonight. It seems I will be getting guided around the capital by you tomorrow but.……I’m really looking forward to it. Please tell me lots about ‘yourself’ too.」

Claudia uses her tongue to lick around her mouth and leaves. The nearby nobles probably think that we were talking about my heroic tales. But what she wants is something more intense. To prepare for tomorrow, I guess I’ll sleep early today. By the way, her underwear ended up in my pocket. It looks like an expensive silk underwear, maybe I’ll give it to one of the girls.


「I definitely don’t want it!」

「I don’t want it, it’s dirty!」

「I don’t want it. Please throw it away.」

「I don’t want it……」

「Well, I don’t really want that.」

「If you order me to, I’ll wear it……Uu」

「It’s too small and it won’t fit!」

「I don’t want it. Please use common sense to think.」

When I talked about the circumstances to those in the house everyone refused to accept it. Well it can’t be helped, so I’ll leave it on top of Kroll’s bed. At that age, he should have a wide variety of uses for it.


The next day, I was sleeping with Nonna resting on my arm, who I was affectionate with yesterday. She must have felt a sense of urgency from Claudia’s visit, so yesterday’s sex was intense. She never had much stamina in the first place, so at midnight she lost consciousness, but even so, her thin hand did not separate from me.

「What a cutie……」

I gently stroke Nonna’s hair. She’s probably making love to me in her dreams too, there’s a smile on her face.

「Uuun……don’t throw me away……don’t leave me……Aegir-sama~……I’ll do……anything……」

Her face suddenly changes into a crying face as she has a nightmare. I thought of waking her by giving her a kiss but before that, there was a knock.

「Please excuse my rudeness in the morning. Is it alright if I enter the room?」

If Sebastian came, then it must mean it’s important.

「I don’t mind, enter.」

I cover just my waist with the sheets and place the futon over Nonna.

「A notice arrived from the palace. It says that you have been summoned by Lady Malordol.」

Even though I’m the entertainer, it’s not like I can stay in the king’s villa. If the Lady wants to go sightseeing within the territory, then a messenger will be sent for me, and I’ll go to pick her up. It definitely isn’t for sightseeing though.

「Alright, let’s go.」

I kiss Nonna before I prepare. She must have exhausted herself, since she didn’t even wake up from my interaction with Sebastian.

「Don’t worry. I prefer you over Claudia, you’re my wife after all.」

Nonna’s face seems to have relaxed a bit after having the nightmare.

「Alright, prepare something simple to eat. I’m going out soon.」

「It has already been prepared in the dining room.」


–Nonna /third person POV–

After 30 seconds

「Madam, what about the preparation of the tea?」

「…………Immediately would be nice.」

She gets up slowly. Only the sheets were covering her ample breasts, but Sebastian is already past that age where he would lust after her. Nonna also doesn’t pay him too much attention.

「Would you not like to see him off normally?」

「It’s fine. When he has sex with that woman, he should be reminded of my crying face.」

「……Is that so.」

「Sebastian, tell Aegir-sama that I have been crying. When you do, he should come back and see me one more time before heading out.」

「Certainly.」

「Haa, I wonder if she’ll hurry and return to the Federation.」

Nonna mutters with an unsatisfied look and rolls around on the bed.


–Aegir POV–

「Aegir-sama!」

Claudia jumps into me. She looks around in a hurry but it seems there are none of the king’s soldiers. If this was seen by someone related to the king then it would be another annoying thing.

「I’ve kept you waiting, didn’t I.」

「No, don’t be ridiculous! I had originally wanted to call you myself, but the soldiers guiding me said it was customary to have them do it instead. I hope you don’t resent me.」

「That’s fine. If they find out about the special relationship you have with me, it will become problematic.」

「I thought as much, so I listened to them. Otherwise, I would have slapped that soldier and headed to where you are.」

Claudia pulls my hand along as if saying ‘let’s go’. Several escorts and caretakers tried to come along but they were all driven away.

「Annoying! I said that I am fine. Please keep yourselves busy here…………ara, how unsightly. Driver, prepare the best carriage. Clara will be coming with us.」

Claudia scolds away the servants and turns around to be courteous to me. Indeed, she is too moody. I can really see the struggles the servants have.

In the end, the four of us, Claudia and I, the driver, and the female attendant climbed into the four-horse carriage and rode out to do sightseeing in the city.

「However, this is truly a gorgeous carriage. I didn’t think the interior would be this spacious.」

You may as well call the interior a decoration, as it was just simply roomy. In addition, wine and light snacks were also provided, and it is dimensions apart from the carriages I have rode on before.

「The six-horse carriage is actually more comfortable than this, but it couldn’t be loaded onto the ship.」

This is the difference in wealth between the Federation and Goldonia. A four-horse carriage is extremely rare in Goldonia, but a six-horse carriage has never been seen.

「And Aegir-sama……I don’t like the use of keigo as a formality. Are we not close with each other?」 2

I don’t need to hold back, huh. I’m pretty bad at using it also.

「Then Claudia, is it fine that you dismissed the servants?」

「Of course, they will just get in the way. I don’t need anyone but Aegir-sama as my escort. I do have this girl as an attendant just in case, though.」

I was curious about that. This shy girl that was sitting beside us since earlier, reminds me of Celia with her short silver hair, but unlike the energetic atmosphere of the other girl, this one is quite mild-mannered. She has a calm atmosphere that would not be fazed by anything. She looks quite young, but she’ll turn into a beauty soon.

「Aah, curious about Clara? Please greet him.」

「I am Clara. I was bought by the Madam and am working as a servant.」3

After Clara finishes introducing herself, she returns to the corner of the carriage. It seems she knows about my relationship with Claudia and is concerned about getting in the way.

「There were people around last night so I could take it in my mouth, but it will be fine in this carriage. Driver, have it go slowly. And forget everything that you have seen and heard!」

「Certainly Madam.」

The driver closes the window on his side and Clara shuts both of the side windows.

「It seems that my body is starting to burn up.」

Claudia instantly takes all her clothes off.

「Now, come make love to me! I have yearned for this moment……..embrace me, no, please ravish me.」

It seems that she could no longer keep her composure. I can’t let her be embarrassed any further.

When I stand in front of her, she takes my clothes with a desperate expression. I left everything up to the aroused Claudia and sat naked with my legs spread on the carriage seat.

「What a terrifyingly huge cock……I was fantasizing about this thrusting into myself last night in bed and earnestly trying to comfort myself……I finally get to have you bury it in my hole. I have dreamt about this moment many times.」

As if Clara was never there in the first place, Claudia spreads her thighs and gets on top of me. Even without touching it, her hole was dripping wet with juices and after using her own hand to spread herself wide open, she lowered her hips. However, her movements stop at the place where the cock kisses her vaginal lips. She’s spreading her thighs wide on top of a man, and also spreading her hole with both hands. In this position that even a prostitute in the outskirts would get embarrassed about, Claudia looks at me and starts talking.

「Five times……」

「Of what?」

「The number of times that my hole has taken in a man since you last separated from me.」

I am a little curious as to what kind of sexual experiences that Claudia has felt.

「With who?」

「That man who comes occasionally to White City……four times with my husband and once with a male prostitute.」

I can understand her husband. Rather, it was me that stepped in an invaded on them, otherwise Claudia would never know me and she would still be his wife. But a male prostitute is……I guess I did hear that she was indulging herself in debaucherous acts before meeting me.

「Please forgive me. Two years is too long for the body of the woman that you lit a fire in……」

「Those five times, were they good?」

Claudia shakes her head violently. It’s tough to suppress my laughter when we’re talking in a position where my cock is supporting you while bow-legged.

「Absolutely no good. That man’s crude dick and his pathetic sex techniques are naturally not even worth mentioning, but comparing even the male prostitute, who is supposed to be used to embracing women, with the intense mating that you have taught me, it was like a child’s play.」

While she’s speaking, Claudia started to rub her clit. It becomes a strange shape.

「That’s why since then, I have not called them once. Rather, using a dildo and calling your name while masturbating feels so much better.」

「For you to look forward to it that much, I’m blessed to have been born a man.」

「Yes, so……well……」

Claudia moves her hips, rubbing her hole against my meat rod.
(Oh, are you waiting for my orders?)

「Go ahead Claudia. Let your hole have a taste, lower your hips and take it in.」

「Yes! I will!」

Claudia instantly drops her hips and it screws deep inside her.

「Gyaaaaaaaaaaaa!!」

Even doing this to Melissa, whose hole is stretched out, or Irijina, who has a nice physique, would still make them scream. For the high class harlot, her scream sounds like she had a sword stuck into her stomach.

「-!」

Clara opens the window slightly and gives instructions to the driver that was asking questions. The speed of the carriage has probably increased because of the voices of suspicion from the people nearby.

「Are you alright?」

「Yes……the ones I’ve had up until now were all small so it’s being stretched.……Guuu」

If you’re fine, then I’ll take it as a signal to use my hips without hesitation. Claudia clenches her teeth so hard that you can hear sounds from her teeth as she tries to use her hips to follow mine. I place her on my knees and felt one stroke.

「Umu……」

「Does it feel good?! Swing your hips more!」

As a woman, she’s quite heavy. She should be several times lighter than Mel but her stomach is clearly sticking out more since the last time I’ve seen her. Every time she bounces on top of me, the flesh on her belly follows suit.

「Well, this is also a thrill.」

「? Is there something wrong?」

The mature woman on the floor is superior to a younger woman in that she has sex techniques and a ripe body with tolerance. The extra flesh that she has also makes it comfortable for me to hug her.

「It’s nothing. See!」

I grab her waist and give her loose ass a slap.

「Nhha! It’s good. Please invade my womb rougher! Please dominate the depths of my hole and my womb!」

We mutually rub our hips together as we build up pleasure. While I suck her breasts and pinch her ass and do other various mischievous things, there was something that I was curious about.

「Your clit is quite peeled back……what happened?」

I know that because she shaves her pubic hair and her past debauchery, her black tufts are protruding out, but her clit should not be so exposed like that.

「You did well to notice. Actually, before I came to Goldonia, I had the skin trimmed off so it would be easier for you to attack me! The sensitive clit is sticking out for your use anytime!」

It gave me the chills for a little, but she did it just for my sake. It would be kind of me to give it a taste.

「Alright, Claudia, rub your clit against me.」

「Yes, I had prepared to do just that. Except that if I rub it myself, it’s sensitive enough that I would easily squirt. I don’t know what would happen if my beloved person presses against it……」

「I don’t mind. Even if it’s squirting or urinating, don’t hold back and let it out.」

「Then……please excuse me.」

Claudia rubs against my hips as if to rub against my pubic hair. And she instantly climaxes. But, I hold down the hips of the woman who bounced up in pleasure and even more violently……as if she was sweeping the floor harshly with a mop, she rubs her clit against my hairs.

「Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiih—!! AAaaaaaa–!!」

After intense sounds of water, Claudia pisses herself, in which she hides her face in embarrassment, but I won’t let her off yet. I grab her clit with my fingers, and play with it in a way that a young boy would jack off when he just learns how to do so. Of course, I don’t stop thrusting my hips up and stabbing her womb. It is normally a movement that would cause her to feel pain, but she is already at a point where anything I do to her would change into pleasure.

Well, it’s time to finish things. I change positions and lay Claudia down, then pick her up in a flexed position. The slapping sounds are loud as I thrust into her intensely, and of course I don’t stop rubbing her clit either. Claudia’s loose ass is just perfect and feels just like a cushion against me, and she can’t speak but can only make baby sounds ‘auu, auu’ while panting, making me feel superior as a man.

As I sigh and shift my gaze, Clara has an expressionless look on her face, but she is looking over here. The girl, who is the same age as Miti, seems to also have a keen interest in intense sexual intercourse.

「I’m cumming!」

「Leddi, let it out……ooooooo!!」

Clara and I exchange looks and I told her to come closer. Claudia should not be able to hear anything at this point.

「Fuun!」

I thrust deep into her waist, and pinch her clit.

「OOOOOOoooo!!」

She screams remarkably loud, and she squeezes on me just like it was my own hand grabbing my cock. After enjoying plenty of that tight feeling, I release my semen deep into the lewd wife.

「It’s coming!! The baby juice is cominggg!! The penis is sprayingggg!!」

「……for it to make a sound.」

Claudia moans loudly and Clara is surprised at the sound of ejaculation coming from the parts where we are connected. Melissa told me that it seems that my ejaculation noise is quite impossible. For people who have accumulated a large amount, it seems she would hear ‘byuu’, but she told me that for me, it was a sound that continued endlessly and it was something unbelievable that she has never seen before.

「M-madam!?」

Clara panics. That is natural, since Claudia’s stomach is expanding gradually.

「Don’t worry, it’s my seed. Rather than that, it would be nice if you got something to contain it. When it withers, it’ll spray out.」

When I told her, I smiled and Clara hurriedly searches for something. It’s been awhile since I got to taste this body of Claudia’s and it was quite delicious. Until Clara has prepared something I’ll make sure my meat rod doesn’t wither by laying the woman’s body in front of me, on its side. When it is wrapped in a soft body then it would only enlarge and it would be impossible for it to wither.


「Was it good?」

I gently stroke Claudia’s hair, who has regained her consciousness for a while now.

「Yes, it’s the best……I’ve always consoled myself by thinking of you embracing me, but it was several times better than my imaginations.」

Claudia kneels at my feet and licks from my crotch to my toes. An act especially like licking my toes is unbefitting of a noble, even if it was just some sort of play, but such common sense does not register to this woman, who is happily taking the tip of my toes into her mouth.

Even for Clara, it was shocking to see the normally oppressive Lady licking my foot like a slave and she couldn’t hide her surprised expression. After watching us have sex, the girl’s mask crumbled. As I thought, she’s cuter when she shows her emotions.

It seems that she realized that I was looking at Clara as I was getting serviced.

「Ara, are you interested in Clara? She’s just a young girl, but she is also quite attractive. I found her in the slave market.」

Clara lowers her head slightly.

「It was a year ago that I wanted a strong male helper, but I found this girl by chance at the auctions, bought her on a whim.」

As expected, one would feel a little unpleasant at how she said ‘on a whim’. Clara also has a somewhat sad face.

「Don’t say anymore than that. It isn’t a pleasant topic.」

「Eh? No way……don’t get mad, I apologize.」

Claudia panics at once. As if trying to cheer me up, her service instantly gets more intense. Clara probably doesn’t understand why I stopped her from talking since she’s looking at me with a befuddled expression.


After that, we went around randomly to look at the so-called famous spots in Goldonia, but the explanations were all extremely vague. In any case, I don’t know much about it either.
And because Claudia’s objective was to have sex while we were in the middle of travelling to the places and during our breaks, she doesn’t seem to have any interest in anything else. Although, she did at least listened to my heroic tales during our pillow talk.

The sun is setting and it’s time for Claudia to return to the villa. On top of being a state guest, she couldn’t be out thoughtlessly wandering outside the capital, where the security is poor. It is absurd for a married woman to do something like spending nights away from home.

「It’s too bad that we have to part……. However, today was a rich day. Is it alright for me to call you tomorrow?」

I can’t say no.

「Could I ask for it to be later in the morning? Since my lower half will get tired.」

It’s because I’ll be embracing the girls at home after this though.

「Well, alright. And I have gifts for you tomorrow so would it be alright if I came by Aegir-sama’s home?」

Honestly, I don’t want you to come, but it’s for the sake of developing the territory. I have to properly get the things that I want.

「Yeah, I welcome you. My household will also be there though……」

「I’m happy. Ufufu, this is to show my gratitude. Please have a look.」

Claudia flips her skirt up and there are numbers written in lipstick on a risky spot on her thighs.

「I tried to write the amount of semen I’ve accepted! I wonder how high it will get before the end of my stay. 50? 100?」

She’s a lewd and foolish woman, but while she’s still fond of me, I’ll treat her kindly. In the short time until we reach the villa, I use my fingers to pleasure her, it’ll be her farewell gift for this day.


「Aah, I’m tired.」

When I returned to the house, the sun has completely set. I’ve been tired from the battlefield before, but it’s the first time I’ve felt such lingering fatigue.

「Celia, Ruu, have you already taken a bath?」

For times like these, I would like some healing from taking a bath with these two small animals.

「Um, um, I’m about to go now.」

「Yes. I just came out……No, I’m about to. I’ll accompany you.」

Celia is clearly wiping her wet hair, but she’s such a cutie. If I call the other girls then it would turn into an orgy no matter what. At least I can forget everything and heal my fatigue in the bath. It seems like I’ll be busy tomorrow too……….


The next day

「My, what a poor-smelling house this is!」

Nonna freezes and the light from Mel’s eyes disappear.

That was the first thing that Claudia said as soon as she enters the mansion. Other than an insult to the wife who came out to greet us and the one who picked out the notable decorations and furniture, Nonna, it wasn’t anything much.

「Ara, what a cheap-looking cup……I don’t really mind, but if it were to break and injure Aegir-sama then it would be a serious matter.」

That cup was selected personally by Nonna to be used for guests. She said it was an appropriate item though…….

Nonna’s face is completely tensing up but she somehow smiles and bows to Claudia.

「I am Aegir-sama’s wife, Nonna Hardlett. Please do as you see fit hereafter.」

「Similarly, I am the concubine Mel Hardlett.」

「Ara, is that so, nice to meet you. Ara? This is the spear that you were given as a reward for your merits in war. It’s beautiful, it’s shining brightly just like the brilliance of Aegir-sama’s military exploits.」

She expertly changes the subject. She is comfortably links arms with me in front of my wife and the others. Then she also addresses me as Aegir-sama.

「U-uhm, Lady Malorol? I’m Aegir’s wife though…………」

Nonna approaches without hesitating, but Claudia does not move from my side, nor does her gaze leave me.

「I heard you earlier. You think I’m an idiot, right?」

「Grr…………」

As expected, Nonna is making a face that I’ve never seen before. But knowing the power of the Marquess family from the Federation, she can’t come off too strong in order to not let her standing worsen. Carla would definitely hit her, so I had her take some sweets to Dorothea’s orphanage to play. The two sisters, Kuu and Ruu, who went along with her will not come back until night.

「Claudia, there are probably few things for you to see. Rather, you have something to give me right?」

「That’s right! Please wait.」

The strong male slave that she brought with her is carrying boxes one after another into the house.

「First is the money. Because having such a poor lifestyle like this is bad for your body. Aah, if I knew you were living in such a crude place I would have brought more……」

The household members and the servants froze when they saw the boxes packed full of gold. Clearly, it wasn’t just a hundred or two hundred, but several thousand gold pieces.

「Putting these boring things aside, this is something good!」

The thing was carried in.

「Oou……」

Even I made a noise that I’ve never heard before. It was a set of armor, an outstanding full plate armor.

「So that you won’t get injured in battle, I had the best possible thing prepared. Moreover, its beautiful finishing touches are befitting of a hero.」

The armor is definitely wonderful. If she was a lower ranked noble or a knight then the item would make for a nice heirloom. When light reflects off the set of armor, it glimmers radiantly……that’s how it shines. Gold covers the steel’s surface in such a way that leaves no gaps.

「So pretty……」

It is indeed pretty, since it looked like gold itself! The person who dons this and runs into battle is a genuine idiot. Instead of getting killed by enemy attacks, you would be killed by the stares of your allies. It would be less embarrassing to lead the troops while I’m naked and thrusting into Celia than to wear this.

「T……thanks, I’m grateful for this.」

I am also an adult. I confirm that when I somehow get the words of gratitude out. Celia turns her face away; she’s laughing isn’t she.

「It’s nothing to pray for Aegir-sama’s health. Then there’s this.」

Claudia slips a ring onto my finger.

「Wha-!」

「Hey!」

As expected Nonna and Mel raises their voices. I thought I heard a threatening tone from Mel but it might be just my imagination.

「Uwaa……」

The next voice is from Melissa, she is quite knowledgeable about jewellery. But her voice is probably not out of admiration for the high-class stone studded on the ring.

The stone is certainly beautiful and big, too big. It’s a ring with a jewel that is large enough to cover the two adjacent fingers. If my stomach were to bulge out, then I would look like an upstart moneylender.

「The last thing will be over there. Do it gently, because if you scratch it I’ll strangle you! Ara, apologies, ohoho」

The thing that the slave carefully carries is a large picture.

「Well, behold!」

Claudia uses her own hands to unveil the curtain.

「「「「「「……………………」」」」」」

Silence dominates the room. In the living room that usually has many lively women, it was the first time that I’ve felt such silence in this house that I could hear the ringing in my ears.

The picture is something drawn in a realistic fashion, where a man and a woman are embracing each other. The woman is drooping against the man, causing her expensive looking clothes to ruffle, while the man is roughly holding the woman and drawing her close to himself. It’s a magnificent picture that looks like it could start moving at any time.

The problem is that the woman looks like Claudia’s twin and the man somehow resembles me. I would like to think it’s a coincidence.

「I had the painter draw the image of Aegir-sama that has been burned into my mind. It’s drawn well, isn’t it?」

It was inevitable.

The girls were speechless as their mouths were left hanging open, not able to complain. She sent picture of herself and the man hugging each other to the man’s house, whose wife is there. That hurts, it hurts too much. It makes me uneasy to think that maybe Claudia has already gone crazy.

「Please put it where you can see it. Since then I’ll always be with you.」

My head starts to hurt.

「That’s right, I heard you were in the army, so I brought something useful for you. I don’t know much about the army so I can’t explain, but I’ll leave it in the garden, kay?」

She brings my ear close.

「I planned to offer this to His Majesty The King, but my important person is you after all.」

It seems like half of these items are black market items. But this will really be everything, right?

「Do you know how much gold there was earlier?」

「No, I brought a rough amount with me, probably 2000, no, 3000 gold? About that much.」

I ordered the servants to count them. Miti and Kroll’s hands are trembling and they couldn’t really count it well. On the other hand, Sebastian’s hands are counting at an incredible speed, such that they could not be seen.

「5000 gold pieces……You were way off.」

「Ara, but it’s just about double the amount.」

As expected of a Marquess’s wife, her sense of money is absolutely twisted. I wrote on a piece of paper that I borrowed 5000 gold and handed it to Claudia as an ‘I owe you’.

「I can’t-! I brought it with the intention of financing you. I won’t do something like money lending!」

Anyways, I wouldn’t have been able to prepare such a large sum of money so I got exposed. As for the reason why Lady Malordol is providing money for me, the answer would come out soon when she comes under my control. The rumors regarding my women are horrible after all. Then, I would be summoned by the king and Erich will turn pale.

「Think of it as my pride, since it would be hard for me to live in peace with the fact that a woman provided money for me.」

Comparatively I don’t mind that.

「I understand. Then let’s do this.」

Claudia writes something additional to the note.

Repayment Period: Unlimited
Interest:   None
Conditions:   Once a month, write a letter to inform of the current state of things.

「With this, I won’t be distracted with the anxiety of possibly being abandoned by you.」

That’s fine. I probably won’t be able to return the debt anyways. Sending out a letter once every month is something I could do.

……Don’t tell me that I’ll be receiving those super long letters from Claudia every month.

「Well, it’s finished now. Does this kind of mansion even have a bed? Let’s talk about our love.」

As expected, that drove Nonna and Mel insane. I hurriedly went to take her outside. And then immediately after I pushed Claudia out of the mansion’s door.

「That woman! She’s getting carried away! That pig woman with heavy makeup! I want to roast her!」

「Nonna-san, here’s a cushion. And also a ladle.」

「Kiii—!! If she wasn’t a state guest, then I would have slapped her! Like this, and that!」

There were sounds of something soft being hit.
(Sorry Nonna, you did well to endure.)

「Mel-san? It’s dangerous if you hold that kitchen knife you know? …That’s the chicken that I’m planning to use tonight, but eeh!? The way you’re swinging it!! Blood will spray everywhere! There’s blood on your face too!」

It smells dangerous over here. I hope tonight’s chicken doesn’t hold a grudge and become a zombie.


After that, Claudia extended her scheduled stay with some kind of reason and eventually reached a one month stay. During that time, she called me everyday to the carriage so we could have sex inside. Some time in the middle, we started bringing lots of futons into the carriage and it was just like a moving bed.

We were making sounds of flesh slapping in a secret room with the driver as the figurehead, and Clara, the servant would act as a waitress and would wipe down our bodies. That would be our daily routine for one month.

And finally, it became the last day of Claudia’s stay.


「Here you go.」

I take a breather after the battle is over and Clara hands me some wine. She is expressionless but she became quite considerate about me.

During this one month, Claudia often treated Clara as something other than a person. And every time, I would protect her, rebuking Claudia for overdoing it. Thanks to that, Clara’s attitude has somewhat softened, and during the times when her master is not around, she would now respond to my pointless banter.

「You don’t think anything of seeing your master cheat?」

Claudia is completely unconscious and won’t even budge.

「No, my master is the Madam. I don’t even know the feudal lord.」

I guess that’s how it is, as a Marquess family in the Federation you would have many houses, so it would be impossible for you to have a grasp on every single servant.

「But isn’t it hard for you to see it every day?」

Even though she was bought as a servant, she’s an adolescent female. She probably wouldn’t want to stay too close to the vivid scenes of the location where the cheating is done.

「No, I’m fine. Also.」

What is it? So I ask her.

「When we are in the mansion in White City, the one who is comforting the Madam is me.」

What is this woman doing? I nudge Claudia lightly with my foot.

Clara lowers her voice and brings my ear close.

「I cover myself with a futon and use the dildo roughly on her from behind. Perhaps it is supposed to be as if Hardlett-sama is attacking her.」

The both of us giggle.

「And the madam is also horrible. I was still a virgin when I was bought by her, but on that day she bought me, she stole it using that dildo. It seems she hated my thin body……look, the madam has a little fat on her stomach.」

It’s true that Claudia is close in age with Mel and she has let go of her body quite a bit. It’s natural, since she leaves all the work to the servants and only eats gourmet food and watches theater performances.

「And when the letter came from Hardlett-sama, she panicked. ‘Oh my god! If I have this flabby stomach then he’ll hate me!’ But on the next day, she would eat cake.」

As the conversation starts to get more exciting, naturally her voice gets louder. But that is a bad thing.

「……Clara, what’s going on?」

Claudia suddenly wakes up and starts speaking in an angry tone. I initially thought she was angry because she tried to hide her embarrassment, but it seems this time she’s seriously angry. When I think about it, Claudia is merciless to servants. More so if she heard that Clara has been tattling to me.

「I am terribly sorry!」

「You…………intend to tear apart the relationship between Aegir-sama and I!?」

「No, not really, aau-」

Before I had time to react, she struck Clara with her palm. She didn’t hold back at all.

「You-! You forget the gratitude of being bought! I should just sell you off to some brothel!」

The female master kicks Clara when she falls over.

The sound of a cheek being hit for the second time. The one who was hit was Claudia, and I was the one who hit her.

「Ah……aaaaaah……」

I adjusted my strength quite a bit so it shouldn’t be that painful, but the shock was probably huge, since she sunk to the floor.

「Listen, we were just joking around. It may have been inappropriate to use her master as a topic of our conversation, but it’s not something you need to seriously hit her or sell her for.」

Claudia is looking down. Did I do something bad? If she were to tattle to the king or to tell me to return the money, it would be troubling.
But things went differently in a weird direction.

「I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, please forgive me, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, please forgive me, I’m so sorry.」

「Hiih!」

Clara screams unintentionally when she saw her master suddenly lower her head to the ground and apologize repeatedly. I forgot about Claudia’s obsession with me.

The moment I hit her, she probably thought that I completely hated her. But this is a chance.

First, I kiss the girl who was earnestly bowing her head apologetically.

「It’s alright, I don’t hate you. I just want you to be a little nicer to this girl and the other servants.」

「Really? You don’t hate me?」

I kiss her again.

「Of course not, there’s no reason to hate you when you’ve done so much for me.」

「Aah, that’s good. If you hated me, then I wouldn’t be able to live anymore……」

「You better treat your servants, especially Clara, nicer from now on, you hear?」

I tell her nicely while I stroke her hair. I heard from someone that if you scold a woman once and then treat them nicely, they’d melt like putty in your hands.

「Yes, of course. Since they are your instructions, from now on, I’ll give them good food every day and buy a bed and furniture for them.」

I feel like something’s wrong here. But it seems like she’s trying to appease me even more.

「To think that you would be fond of this girl so much, maybe you want her too? You could have just told me that…..Clara, flip up your skirt and show Aegir-sama your precious place.」

「……Certain……ly」

Clara embarrassingly lowers her underwear and shows me that pretty place. Her virginity has been taken by Claudia, but her hole is a nice pink color and doesn’t look used at all. After taking a long glance at it, I yell at Claudia.

「We’re already here?」

This is the entrance to the villa and the time is already evening, and it seems Claudia went back quickly to sleep early. The servants are hastily preparing for the journey home and Clara sits besides me.

「Is it alright? For you not to be beside your master.」

「Yes, although I shouldn’t, the madam won’t scold me anymore.」

After yelling at her, I made love to the frenzied Claudia and Clara, making her vow that she would never treat Clara as her belonging but as her own daughter. I told her that if Clara dies, gets hurt, or gets sick, then I might hate her.

Of course, it would be sad for her last memory to be of me yelling at her, so after scolding her I gave her plenty of sweet loving sex. I feel like I’ve embraced quite a few girls already but it feels like this is the first time I’ve seen one that climaxes just from my stroking and whispering of love.

「Why are you treating me so kindly? Even though you should be scared of ruining the madam’s mood.」

Clara’s eyes and face filled with vigor again. As I thought, talking to a girl as a human is more delightful. I crawl my hands on her thighs.

「It’s obvious that I would want to protect such a cute girl isn’t it?」

「……In the end, it’s exactly like the madam said and you are fond of me right?」

「But I don’t want your body. I want your heart as well.」

「I was talking with the madam when she was making herself look pretty and wondered what kind of person you were ……but you’re just a women-lover aren’t you.」

「Do you hate me now?」

「No, it seems like I’ve been lured in too. My heart is beating so fast.」

Clara leans her head against my shoulder.

「It’s nice that you don’t smell like makeup.」

「If the madam heard that, she’d go crazy, you know?」

We smile at each other, and I take her hand, bringing her to a small shed for garden tools, where people don’t often come.

After confirming that there is no one peeking, I flip up Clara’s skirt and shift her underwear to the side, gripping the cock that was taken out from my pants.

「I only have experience with the dildo so……that size is scary.」

「You don’t have to do anything. Leave it to me.」

「People could come anytime so please don’t take my clothes off……」

「You don’t have to worry about unnecessary things. Here I go. Become my woman.」

I smear some saliva on my meat rod and grab her ass, pushing myself in slowly. She’s even smaller than Celia and she may be the youngest woman I’ve done it with. Naturally, her hole is also small, and it’s becoming quite the impossible task to penetrate her but Clara endures it while biting on her sleeve.

「Fuu, fuu-」

Not even half of my dick has gone in yet, but it seems Clara’s body has reached its limit. As expected, her body is too small and I don’t have room to attack. I hug her from behind and rub her breasts, moving my hips a little bit at a time. I don’t know if I’m pleasuring her, but at the very least, let me give you my seed.

「Auu……」

Clara’s body is trembling as I continue to fuck her, but getting experience from watching Claudia service me, she gradually began matching the movement of her hips with mine.

「You don’t have to push yourself.」

「No, it’ll be easier for me if I move too.」

(Hm, then I want to test something. I’ll thrust a little harder.)

「Ah! I can’t, it hurts!」

So I can’t, too bad but I guess I can only have docile sex made for a child-like person. I move my hips slowly, and shallowly, while stimulating her breasts and her clit.

「Um, um!」

Clara is trying to tell me something and when I look carefully, her feet are floating above the ground. I got a little aroused and put a little too much strength into it so she’s just hanging off my dick right now. Since she’s already like this, why not lift her up and thrust into her. She weighs like a feather to me anyways. She’s about half as heavy as Claudia.

The longer I take, the risk of being found increases. I whisper in her ear that I’m almost there and she twists her head around, closing her eyes. It is universal that women like to kiss.

I meet her lips with mine and entwine my tongue with hers, and without saying anything, I ejaculate.

「Nnnh!!」

It took an iron will not to plunge it deep into her due to the state of arousal moments before ejaculating, but I control myself and release near the entrance. Since I couldn’t penetrate deep into her, my seed drips out of her, creating a puddle inside the shed. I hope that the gardener doesn’t notice it tomorrow. At the same time as my ejaculation, Clara also lightly came, saying that she was able to enjoy a tingly sort of pleasure.


「How did your first man feel?」

「It was incredible. I also understand why the madam got so crazy.」

「If she finds out, then something horrible will happen to us.」

「Hardlett-sama will be fine. But I’ll certainly get burned at the stake.」

「If you get found out, say that I was the one who wanted you, and that if she raises her hand to hit you, that I wouldn’t forgive her for laying a hand on my woman.」

「I will do just that.」

After kissing two, three times, it was about time for Clara to go back. Just in case, I’ll take some precautions.

「Clara, take this money.」

I gave her some silver that she could use conveniently too.

「What’s this?」

「When you get back, send me a letter once every month, if you get interrupted I’ll question Claudia about it.」

「Women would definitely compete over these kinds of things. I understand, I’ll report my current situation.」

And thus, Claudia and Clara left. In exchange for a large amount of effort and a little family dispute, I gained a large sum of money and quite a few high-class pieces of garbage.

My mission of entertaining is also finished, and it’s finally time for me to head from the capital to my own territory, bringing my family along to the mansion in Rafen. That night, as if overjoyed that Claudia went home, all eight related people crowded around in the bed. The cork to a new bottle of alcohol is pulled out and it was a celebratory mood, Nonna especially has never been happier.

There is an even larger bed in the feudal lord’s mansion. I couldn’t help but think that I was being wrapped in a blanket of women.


Claudia’s strange gift

Standing beside Leopolt, we think about ‘that thing’ stuffed in the barn.

「This is something that was brought by her.」

「Yeah, there wasn’t any explanation or anything, but it’s made of metal so I have been doing some maintenance so that it doesn’t rust.」

The person herself doesn’t understand it either. She said it was a weapon, but it just looks like a large metal club to me. Somehow it seems the bag packed full of sand and the contents of the box are also part of a set.

「Have you figured anything out?」

「It’s something I’ve never seen before but I can somewhat guess from knowledge……though I can’t make a statement.」

Leopolt is quite knowledgeable. To me, it only looks like a large metal club that an orc would swing around. Hollow out the inside to make it lighter? Then you could have just made it thinner in the first place.

「In any case, it’s not something I could test in the capital. Until we can carry it with us to the territory, we’ll keep it in storage here.」

「Well, do as you like.」

Anyways, I can’t get rid of the fatigue from last night. As soon as they believed that Claudia was gone, they have been coming at me eight against one.

「Maybe it’ll be torn off.」

「People get stronger by overcoming hardships. You’ll probably increase the number of women even more, so why not think of this as training?」

「How annoying.」

Still, I wonder what this steel barrel is.


Protagonist: Aegir Hardlett 20 years old Spring
(Traditional age reckoning)
Status: Goldonia Kingdom Viscount. Eastern Independent Army Commander. Troop Count 2000
Feudal Lord of Arkland Southeast Area. Private Army 50
Assets: 5050 gold (5000 gold Debt )
Weapons: Dual Crater (large sword), Large spear
Equipment: Black Cloak (Cursed), Gold Armor (lol)
Family: Nonna (wife), Carla (concubine), Mel (concubine), Sue (daughter),
Melissa, Maria, Rita, Kuu, Ruu, Catherine (commuting)
Servants: Sebastian (butler), Miti, Alma, Kroll, Nina
Subordinates: Celia (adjutant), Irijina (private army commander),
Leopolt (Independent Army Vice-Commander), Schwartz (horse), Adolph (domestic affairs official)
Sexual Partners: 41, children who have been born: 6


 


  1. Nat: insert opening from Attack on titan
  2. Nat: Keigo, as we all know, is speaking politely.
  3. Nat: Madam is used here with the same intention as Master or slave owner and Clara will be referring to Claudia as such.

36 Comments

  1. Steel barrel? A gun?

  2. mhm first. I really dont get it… shes in love with MC but she still slept with other man… i mean i get the husband one but really? a male prostitute and a guy that visits your city alot? and hmm MC got another women thats younger than celia. MC a asshole too lol trying to give underwear to his women and then just gives it to the little boy that masturbates everyday to MC’s women.

    • well, according the past chapter, its usual that many noble woman “play” with other male as entertainment.

    • It was just two guys, her husband and the man whore. The “guy that visits the city occasionally” is her husband, that’s why she said she did 5 times, one with the gigolo and the other four with her husband.

  3. thanks for the chapt,

    auw here i wondering if this translation appear 3times per week.

    so claudia is bbw milf huh…

    it seems the weapon that claudia brought are cannon (according to spolier) and that weapon only empire and federation use it in their wars

  4. Lol, a freakin cannon as a gift?
    Talk about overkill

  5. It’s a giant steel dildo that she made to remind herself of Aegir’s meatstick

  6. Lol.. A cannon.

  7. Very long the chapter … perfect 😀

  8. Thousand Skeleton

    Thanks for the chapter. This chapters was hilarious. I really like Claudia.

  9. Thanks for your hard work. Claudia doesn’t have much endurance with her lust. But Aegis doesn’t have that much choice either as a secret lover.

  10. I want to see Aegir carrying a hand cannon into the battlefield. It’ll take someone of his strength and caliber to fire it anyways.

  11. A cannon? She Gave a Newly developed state secret weapon to her lover!? Dang that woman!

    Also, I wonder who the 8th woman is, is it Maria? Or is it Irijina? But I thought Maria would abstain after his marriage, but if it’s Irijina isn’t she still in duty away in his sta… Wait, they already move away aren’t they? So Maria an Melissa are already left back at home and the 8th is the unnamed woman-servant?

  12. Thanks for the chapter.

  13. Thanks for the chapter
    At first I thought it was some weird Sybian, but she wouldn’t give it to him but keep it for herself

  14. Thanks for the chapter

  15. Great work thanks for the chapter

  16. gold armor (lol)
    hahaha thnxs for the chapter

  17. This Claudia woman is freaking crazy. Let’s ignore the fact that her husband could start having suspicions about the disappearance of a huge enough of money and goods, I guess for now she has the excuse of gifts to Goldonia’s king. She has involved in her affair not only her personal servants like the carriage driver and Clara, but also a random skilled painter and who knows else. Aegir has plot armor so he’ll be alright, but her head could roll if the scandal comes to light.

  18. “Don’t worry. I prefer you over Claudia, you’re my wife after all.” -> WTF?! I would never, gross! D:

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