Translator: DarkHeartedAlchemist Editor: Weasalopes
【Interlude: In the Darkness】
What is Darkness to you? An eternal, pitch-black, nauseating darkness?
A lonely, desolate place inside which you are all alone for so long that your mind no longer perceives said darkness as a 「natural phenomenon」, but rather a living thing?
You might find it silly but thinking like that makes it that much easier to bear. That’s why I’m thinking like that every time when I’m here. Because hey, that way 「nothing」 is bound to change into 「something」 one day, right?
And that would mean that things would finally change in this stagnated space if only I wait for it to happen.
Isn’t it the same with, let’s say, outer space? Oh who am I kidding, of course there’s nothing similar between the two! There’s nothing here because this place is nothing but emptiness! Isn’t it obvious?! Why would there be anything here?!
At least space has that one thing, that…. Oh for Christ’s sake what was it called? Dark Matter! Yeah, Dark Matter! At the very least, space has something like that. Not to mention a myriad of stars and planets that are born every second amidst its vast expanse. Come to think about it, that’s probably how Earth was made in the first place, right?
So as you can see, even the void of space is not totally empty. Pretty neat, don’t you think?
This place, on the contrary, has nothing even remotely like that.
There is truly nothing in here, so I have a lot of spare time that I have no means of using whatsoever! You might think it’s strange to worry about something as mundane as things to do in your spare time when you’re inside the darkness, but I have a lot of things that I want to do, and I can’t do them with no free time on my hands, you know?!
That being said, most of the things that I want to do would be rather hard to carry out on your own. And the more I think about it, the more I miss the freedom that I have been denied for so long.
Eh, isn’t there some kind of solution to my problem? Hmm, now let me think… how about… falling in love, maybe? If I had someone to call my beloved, then maybe thinking about him and all the fun things we could do together would help pass the time during my usually sleepless nights, even if only just a little?
Hah, well who would’ve guessed? Just thinking about such selfish 「what if’s」 makes me feel a bit better.
What’s that? What if the person I liked had feelings for someone else? And what if I hated him? Or was unable to ever see him again? Of course it would be painful but having mundane worries like that can also be enjoyable in a weird way. Whether I’d actually put the effort to one day make them a reality is another matter entirely. I mean, even with romance, there are a lot of things that are too luck dependent, am I right? Luck! Even if I find someone that I like, there is only a small chance that the feeling would be mutual. And the chance that our tastes and preferences would match would be even smaller than that.
And that, ladies and gentleman is why there are so little couples who can say that 「it was love at first sight!」 in this world. And that is why finding this 「love at first sight」 does not matter to me. It’s definitely way easier, and much less painful, to just let love remain that ever-so fleeting dream you can keep on fantasizing by yourself.
And if you want to pursue it despite all the setbacks? Don’t rely on blind luck, give it your all, and reach out for it with your own strength. Wouldn’t that be the most beautiful thing? To gather up all your courage, write that cheesy love-letter, lose your mind over waiting for an answer and discuss its outcome, whichever it would be, with your friends? I would’ve loved to experience it, even if just once.
Eh? I? Ahahahaha, no way, not in a million years! For someone like me to fall in love. Now there’s a great joke!
Oh, but if we’re talking hypothetically, then I’d like my love to be one of those dramatic ones that you see so much on TV or read about in mangas. I mean, isn’t meeting your other half like a once-in-a-lifetime event? And if you miss it, it won’t happen ever again? So if that’s the case, I’d have seized the chance without fail, or at least I think so.
Wow, that sounded way cooler than I thought it would!
Anyway, as I was saying, I have no chances of falling in love, but if that were to happen by some miracle, I think I would try to make the best out of both the good and the bad memories. You know, You Only Live Once fashion, carpe diem and all that other stuff that essentially tells you to do everything you can, when you can so you can have no regrets? Now that is plenty dramatic.
Also, should everything else fail, you can just strip in front of your beloved and ram a nice, long knife into his heart. That is surely guaranteed to get the message across, right? And don’t worry about killing him that way; if you’re lucky, he’ll just so happen to be immortal, so he can just walk it off. A foolproof plan for an ideal first date, Ahaha.
Ahh, he really was a special case, wasn’t he?
Hmm? So you’re saying that in love and romance it’s also important to consider what the other party is thinking? No, no way! That is absolutely impossible! Even if they were serious about me, I don’t need them! I want nothing to do with them! Good or bad, it doesn’t matter to me!
You are the most important person in my life. If anyone ever tried to hurt you, I would have never forgiven them! I just want you to be happy, and experience various kinds of things: sometimes good and cheerful, sometimes painful and difficult. That is everything I have ever thought about. Everything I need to feel satisfied. Because I’ll always be by your side, no matter what happens.
Ahaha. It’s okay, leave everything to me!
I will continue to watch over you from this darkness.
So… be sure to live, okay?