【Episode 1 Part A: Sister and Legend, Part 2】
I wonder how was Aika able to classify those feelings as sexual attraction?
「Trust me when I say this, brother. When it comes to male-female relationships, all roads lead to sexual aspects of their relationships, so focusing sorely on them is perfectly fine for a boy your age… at least I think so.」
As an older brother I don’t know how I should feel about my younger sister being so knowledgeable about such things.
「You sure know a lot about that stuff. Is that really okay?」
Honestly, I feel slightly troubled.
However, Aika only replied with 「Because I’m your exclusive councelor.」
So apparently thinking about Shiinamachi-senpai in a sexual way was no big deal, at least from Aika’s perspective. Moreover, according to her it was a vital part of navigating the labyrinth known as 「romance」. That put my heart at ease, but…
「But is it really okay for me to see senpai, or any girl I might like for that matter, in a sexual way? Isn’t that disrespectful towards her?」
「Not at all, brother. You see, girls might be complicated beasts, but one thing is true for all of them: they don’t mind it when a men they like looks at them with desire in his eyes that sends them a clear signal like 「I want your body」 or 「I want to make you mine」. It’s called being assertive, and all girls love assertive men. In conclusion: there’s nothing wrong with you having desires aimed at Shiinamachi-san.」
「I-Is that so?」
「Yes, that is so. Desire is one of the basic human instincts. In that sense, not having them might have been a cause for serious concern.」
So she says, but for someone like me such obvious matters are really complicated. The only thing I am able to do now was to smile wryly and tilt my head to the side.
「Of course, being upfront with your feelings and desires is good and all, but there are some limitations to it. For example, you shouldn’t project your passions towards a girls or women that you don’t know, and even if you do know them, you can only do so to the girl you like. Oh, and she has to like you back for this to work. Otherwise you’ll just end up accused of sexual harassment, and that’s something that I’m sure we both don’t want, right?」
That much I knew already. It is a common sense to keep your desires in check while in public, lest you want to be branded as a sex offender. If you have no special feelings for someone, don’t shove your affections forcefully in their faces. I think my relationships with my other female friends prove that even someone as socially impaired as I can do that if he just puts his back into it.
However, even after that insightful lecture about desire, I am still sure that what I’m feeling towards Shiinamachi-senpai is love, and that those feelings are truly genuine.
「Still not convinced, even after everything I just said, brother?」
「N-No, it’s just that…」
「Dissatisfaction, denial and even disgust, those are not nice feelings, but they are an important part of your 「heart」 just as much as positive emotions. And I’m glad that you do not agree with my opinion, because if it was the former 「you」, he would have just accepted anything as an absolute truth without giving it any thought, all according to “mother’s” teachings.」
She’s actually right you know?
When I was still under her tutelage, mother taught me all kinds of skills and techniques ranging from killing ones to those related to survival. When I was just a heartless machine, her words were basically my entire world. Even now I tend to hang on to what she implanted into me, almost as if I didn’t want to let go of it on purpose.
「Let me put it this way then. If mother was here right now and she would have told you 「Lords are the enemy of mankind and must be exterminated with extreme prejudice」 , would you still listen to her order and do it?」
「I… I honestly don’t know, but… I probably wouldn’t do that now.」
Shiinamachi-senpai was not the only Lord that I was acquainted with. There was also a classmate of mine with whom we were forced to fight, class rep Fujisato Yuika. Shiinamachi-senpai whom I admired with my whole being, and Fujisato whose story was 「To fight and defeat other Lords」… I don’t think I would be able to raise my blade against them, unless I had a very sound reason to do so.
「And that’s the power of thinking for yourself. Make sure you remember that, and from now on, if you feel like something is not right or something is bothering you, voice your opinion out loud.」
「All right. I’ll be sure to put that down in today’s entry for my diary.」
「Yes, brother. Do that.」
Voice your own opinion when something’s bothering you and go against it, huh? Up until recently I was a firm believer in accepting all feelings equally, whether they be positive or negative.
「Now then is there anything else you’d like to talk about?」
It looks like her question about my relationship with Shiinamachi-senpai was a bonus one. Aika pics up her now empty teacup and goes to the kitchen with it. She then took another cup from the shelf and began to boil the water in an electric kettle.
While my tea is preparing I think back on the recent event that I was a part of: the murder case in Hachihoukan, the summer mansion belonging to the Yatono family. When I was murdered there and drifted in the space between life and death for a… that was my third time in there, I believe, when I was there for a third time, I’ve met a certain girl.
「Actually, another thing happened to me on my trip, and it might fit nicely into the 「exciting events」 category.」
A cousin of Shiinamachi-senpai’s fellow Knight, Yatono Shiki, who experienced a terrible tragedy along with her twin sister, Yahata Yugao, who killed me and took my heart and its immortality from me in a desperate attempt to save her older sister.
Sadly, I wasn’t able to save Asagao from her fate, but I made a promise with her that one day I will come back to her to free her from the darkness that she was imprisoned in. Remembering her kind but lonely smile made my heart squeeze in deep emotional pan.
「Remembering not only the good times but the sad ones as well is also an important part of being human, but please, don’t let the feelings of guilt and regret crush you under their weight, brother.」
Putting the freshly made tea in front of me, Aika looked at my face. Even though she’s only in middle school herself, she’s already so dependable; I really am proud of her as her older brother.
「If you ever feel like those painful, sad emotions are too much for you to bear, I will always be there for you to listen to all your worries. But I digress. Please brother, do go on and continue your story. Something is telling me that the good part is about to start.」
「Uhm, I don’t know if you can really call it a good part, but there was also that one thing with Asagao’s sister…」
It was the power of Yugao-chan’s blood which had the power to strengthen any Knight who came into contact with it, but at the same time it made them lose control of their carnal desires.
「Was she making sexual advances towards you?」
Why all of Aika’s questions have to be so frighteningly on point?
「*Sigh* There you go, making that face again. You know, seeing you being so popular with the opposite sex makes me happy, but a part of me gets the distinct impression that there is just a tiny bit too many of them hanging around you lately. I know that it’s probably more complicated than it seems, but brother… don’t tell me you’re actually aiming for being a harem king?」
Should I be telling her that a middle school girl pressed herself against me while being half naked with a clear intention of taking things even further? I know it was all a ruse to make me drop my guard so she could kill me, but…
I’ll do it. I’ll tell her everything. I don’t want to lie to my precious sister unless It’d be for the sake of keeping her safe.
And so, one embarrassing story later…
「S-Sorry you had to listen to that. Could you maybe, I don’t know, omit that part in your report? Censor it somehow?」
「I’ll see what I can do about it. It’s one thing to listen about my brother being sexually harassed by underage girls, but writing about it in detail… forgive me for saying this, brother, but it’s not something particularly appealing.」
Aika’s face was slightly red. After all, she wa still a middle school student, so it would stand to reason hearing about sexual harassment, even as something that happened to her brother would make her uncomfortable… great, now I feel like trash for exposing her to such graphic stories. Way to go me, I’m truly a material for a Brother of the Year Award.
「Ekhem…Umu, I’ll definitely remove it from my report. It’ll save us both a lot of needless headaches in the future.」
「Thank you. And sorry.」
「Don’t mention it. And what about Yatono Shiki-san?」
「Hm? Well, when it comes to Shiki…」
While I was struggling to find the right words to describe what has transpired between me and Shiki, Aika took a sip of her own refilled tea, patiently waiting for me to speak.