Translator: “Pink Tea” Editor: ”Ryunakama”
Day 42 – Morning, Dungeon near the village downstream.
What a pleasant morning… And that’s because it follows a pleasant night! Yup, it was quite an enjoyable experience, I’m sure, this would mark the beginning of an equally nice day… Or so I thought, but it wasn’t nice at all?! I completely forgot about the dungeon…
Well, to be more precise, it was unpleasant, or rather, high on discomfort index. Every bit of the dungeon was wet, damp, and humid, I don’t enjoy this kind of wet at all.
「This dungeon doesn’t even have a proper ventilation or drainage system, let alone any countermeasures for humidity. I’d really like to see the face of the dungeon master of this place, though they are probably dead by now?」
They probably turned into a magic stone already, so there is no face to look at. And since they are a magic stone now, they wouldn’t be able to receive complaints.
Damn, the great dungeon was too big to settle there, but it was incredibly well built.
And the dungeon master of that place turned out to be really cute as well.
And with an amazing figure on top of…
「*Cough Cough* I’m not thinking anything, alright? Okay, why are you drawing your sword? It’s dangerous? Yeah, it might be the right thing to do since we are in a dungeon, but at the moment, all of the monsters are nothing but magic stones, so you don’t need a sword, right?」
Both the floor and the stairs are all slippery from the water covering them, making it hard to walk. And there are no handrails or anything, really, don’t they have the Building Standards Act for Dungeons or something? Yes, this is a dangerous dungeon that has no regard for the safety of invaders, creating an environment with a high risk of accidents from slipping and falling.
「The safety and comfort levels of this place are the worst. That’s why you are so unpopular, dungeon-san, since you paid no attention to adventurers’ safety in your planning no one wants to adventure here. And of course, such an unsafe, discomforting, and damp place would also be disliked by the villagers. At least make an effort to build good relations with your neighbors? What an antisocial Dungeon Master-san.」
I kept endlessly grumbling, muttering, as we kept going down the stairs. Hmm, no reply, huh?
We keep picking up magic stones, but they all look kind of cheap. But I’m already out of money, broke to the point of having Pres pay for my lodgings from the deposit. Even if they are cheap I still have to gather them!
But at the very least, can we have at least some treasure chests here? Or I’ll be in red after purchasing all those potatoes? No, I do need potatoes as well, but…
After walking through such a damp and humid place it’s a huge loss. So not worth it. But can I at least have something to cover the potatoes’ cost? Well, I already made a huge profit from massive rip-off sales of sweet potatoes… But since I already spent it all I don’t have a penny?
That’s why I was pressed into checking such a damp and wet place even though I wanted nothing to do with it.
And by the way, I also was warned about doing lewd stuff inside dungeons. Yes, I’m being pressured!
「I mean, that’s the type of wet and slippery I’m down for… No, I’m not gonna do anything?! I didn’t do anything?! Someday I’d like to try lotion play though… *Cough, Cough*! No, it’s nothing. Now, let’s go down!」
The stairs are all slippery, so let’s sheathe the sword, okay?
However, what if with all this humidity I got rheumatism, or arthritis, or neuralgia at this young age of 16? I probably would immediately recover from that due to my skills, but I still hate the idea. A young man shouldn’t have such diseases.
We finally reached 5F, but it’s no fun at all. If we were going up I’d be able to enjoy the view from behind, but going down is not fun at all. There is nothing interesting in staring at the top of her helmet! If looking at the top of her helmet felt fun I think it would be a problem in itself, but gladly, it’s not fun at all.
「Looks like there is something below us, on the 6th floor, what do we do? Should I just collapse the ceiling and crush it?」
Armored Pres-san told me, shaking her head. G-hosts… Does she mean ghosts? Which means the enemy is incorporeal, so physical attacks won’t work on them. I mean, I doubt there are hosts there, the location is way too bad for such business.
I can’t get into the mood because of this humidity. At this point, I just want to leave it as it is and go home. On top of this dungeon being trash as a real estate property, the treasure chests are trash as well. The hidden room on 5F for example, had『Freeze Sword – Ice Attribute (Lesser) PoW 10% Up, SpE 10% Up』 The effect is (Lesser) and the bonus is only 10%. I know that the great dungeon was just too good, but even so, it is incredibly underwhelming when you compare them.
Yet, even this can be sold for a hefty sum. Or rather, it seems that if the item is too good it becomes hard to sell it through ordinary channels, so somewhat dubious items are just right. Yeah, I want good equipment, but I also want money, so this is fine? It’s profitable? But even so… It’s a dungeon?
「Won’t some『T-this is the legendary…』trope-like development happen? Well, I already have a legendary sword that just popped out of nowhere, so I don’t think I will be surprised by swords, but I want a weapon to come out with a hype appearance scene, clearly pointing to a complicated history behind it… No one will get excited from just 『Oh, there is a holy sword on the ground』! Isn’t there something like 『Only the chosen one can pull this out!』? 」
Considering my and Armored Pres-san’s equipment, I don’t think we will ever find better swords or armor, but I’d like something with special skills attached. Ice attribute is okay, but I don’t need (Lesser). If anything, I’d prefer something to burn enemies, because the geeks powered up! Isn’t there something?
And 6F had「Phantom Lv6」, no idea how it is different from spirits, specters, or ghosts, but the shape isn’t that of a human. I wonder what kind of spirit this is? Armored Pres-san switched her weapon from the rapier to a sword and taking a graceful stance began cutting through the enemies at blindingly fast speed… Can you even cut spirits? Can this be resolved through physical means?!
And what should I do? Maybe stretch the wooden staff that I’m carrying, to about 2 meters length, gallantly fly through the air, and then?… And by the time I thought that it was all over. Could it be that all I’m going to do is go down the stairs? No chance to do anything else at all?
In conclusion. Yeah, it seems that’s all I’m going to do here? The 7th floor’s hidden room had a vestige of a monster in the form of a magic stone, and the treasure chest had 『Thunder Spear: Lightning Attribute (Lesser) PoW 10% Up, SpE 10% Up』, a shabby weapon. No, as merchandise, it should at least cover the cost of lewd outfits. I’m sure we will be able to buy a whole lot! The backless dress from yesterday was great, but the dress we saw the other day, with deep, deep cleavage, so deep in fact that it showed the navel, was also stirring. Well, with a figure that good, even outright lewd clothes look stylish on her. I was under such a deep impression, that went too hard at it, and she ended up scolding me in tears. No, I’m a highschool boy, and my levels of 『High Sexual Vigor』and『Insatiable Libido』keep growing… So it can’t be helped?
Oh, 9F had another hidden room and a normal treasure chest in a corridor. The hidden room had 『Spiked Mail, Defense Up (Lesser) + ATT』, I only showed it to Armored Pres-san and she immediately began refusing with all she had. So she is choosing items based on appearance after all?
Well, wearing this would have you mistaken for a villain without a doubt. The entirety of armor is called in sinister-looking metal spikes. With this design, she would be safe and secure even in a post-apocalyptic world, but looks like she doesn’t approve?
And the chest that was just sitting in the middle of a corridor had 『Earring, Decoration (B Rank)』. This is not even an equipment anymore, but let’s tribute it to Armored Pres. The earring with a blue jewel will surely match that blue dress with a slit. And it will look fine even when she takes that dress off! Alright, tonight is the night for that slit dress. Okay, I’ll do my best! I mean, the slit on that dress goes all the way to the upper part of the hips!!!
And earrings should fit her in general. Despite being so cute and pretty she spent so much time as a skeleton, unable to dress up, so I think there is no problem at all with having a bit of luxury until she recovers.
As we descended we kept finding somewhat better magic stones, but all of them still seemed like F rank. Or rather, the range of F rank is so huge that I still can’t get a proper grasp on the prices?
On top of that, prices are beginning to fall, so even F 10+ is only 5,000,000 ere? Less than half of the previous price. Previously, the prices were up due to a deficit of magic stones, and on the contrary, now they are trying to stabilize the supply to prevent the price collapse. So since they won’t readily buy up magic stones I have to make money from equipment. Sadly, there are no lewd clothes or underwear in dungeons… Or is there? Yeah, if we find any I will make a temporary resting area!