Translator: “Pink Tea” Editor: ”Ryunakama”
Day 47 – Nighttime, White Weirdo Inn
Everything began from a certain report. One day, in a remote region, a monstrously strong man who killed a dungeon master appeared.
It’s an extremely dangerous situation, in a way, he is more dangerous than monsters.
Since he can wield his atrocious power with intelligence and planning, he is a much greater threat than a monster.
And since he is a human, he can remain unnoticed even in our midst, despite the monstrous danger he poses.
On top of that, he is moving according to his own will. Driven by his own desires and ambitions.
「A monster of a man appeared in a frontier town.
All alone he annihilated every monster in the Demon Forest.
All alone he annihilated every monster in the oldest dungeon.
All alone he annihilated a monster stampede.
Monopolizing all of the town’s riches.
Treating the town as his own property.
A monster-like man.
What is that man trying to do?
Where is that man heading?
What is his goal?
Who is that monster, and what kind of person is he?
Go and investigate it, okay? That is what I was told.」
Aaah… Hmm? It’s not like there is anything wrong with what she said? I wanted to follow up on that, to clarify the situation, but everything is correct, isn’t it?
「That man isn’t trying to do anything. He is too busy doing perverted stuff. All night, every night.」
「And he isn’t heading anywhere? Look away for a moment and he is back to being a shut-in in his cave.」
「And he has no goal in mind. He is living his life day by day.」
Hmm, that’s true. Yeah, that isn’t wrong.
「What kind of person is that monster-like man? He is a good baddie! Though he is always up to no good… And don’t compare him with monsters! It’s rude to monsters!」
「What kind of person is that monster-like man? He is good at cooking, and apparently, can also sew? He also can make furniture, basically, a very self-sufficient baddie?」
「Yeah, what kind of person is that monster-like man? He seems quite involved in construction and commerce. He likes making money but never has any. Always penniless.」
「That’s right, what kind of person is that monster-like man? He likes delicious stuff. And also lewd stuff. That’s why he is always out of money.」
It isn’t wrong, but is that what they want on the report? Is there anyone interested in that?
「You stalked him for investigation, right? Did you find anything?」
「Yes, he expanded the building of the weapon store, helped at the general store, distributed lunchboxes, and gave away sweet potatoes.」
No good. I even thought about writing a report for her, but I don’t know what to write there.
I guess the only mistake there is that it was not a dungeon master, but its superior, a dungeon emperor, and she wasn’t killed, but every night seems to be close to dying, according to her?
Other than that, he indeed killed everyone, monopolized the riches of the town while somehow remaining broke, and is treating the city as his property… Or rather, just generally doing as he pleases?
What can I write there?
A cautionary『Don’t approach, dangerous』?
Or maybe an experience story of bargain sale 『Don’t get involved or you will have all your money ripped off』?
『The food is tasty』what is this, a review?
『His massage is incredible~』… Looks like 『Vibration Magic』was to her liking?
『He gives sweets!』, yeah, that’s important!
But since they even launched an investigation, they must see him as that much of a threat.
So what they probably want to know is if there is any harm from him? I wonder… He is basically harmless but at the same time a walking calamity.
What’s next, the danger? Mostly in the bed, I guess? Yeah, apparently he is quite dangerous there. Very amazing it seems!
What else, disposition? Irresponsible and careless. A softhearted and kind yet devious miscreant, a nonhuman self-proclaimed human?
Though he is indeed fiendish for the most part, his physical and magical prowess seems to be aimed at doing lewd stuff, and his intelligence at cooking. Even his ambitions seem to be limited to raising his daily allowance. And he can talk about allowance all he wants, but he already blew his savings, yet he already made new debts at the inn.
Also, rather than being hard to get, he doesn’t make sense no matter how long you try to understand him.
But he isn’t even a monster-like man, to begin with? He is just an incomprehensible man. Everyone is getting obliterated without understanding a thing, saved without understanding a thing, annihilated without understanding a thing, made happy without understanding a thing, that’s the common theme here. And since no one understands a thing, how can they say anything for a report? Her higher-ups won’t understand a thing even if they see him with their own eyes, and if they ever talk to him they will get so confused that they won’t be able to understand even what they don’t understand, so they absolutely won’t be able to comprehend. He cannot be understood so there is nothing to say.
Rather, if anyone were to understand him then they are done for, one shouldn’t even try to understand what he is, the only thing that is certain is that he doesn’t make sense. Get it? You don’t? That’s why he cannot be understood. (This concludes the report)
Is it really okay for a report on a monster-like man to be like this?
She probably will get scolded if she reports this.
Looks like the meeting went into a dead-end, everyone is holding their heads, racking their brains. How do you write about a person that has not a single proper thing about him for it to turn into a proper report?