Chapter 137: By the way, there are about 20 testimonies on the amazing diet effects of Armored Captain.

 


Translator: “Pink Tea” Editor: ”Ryunakama”


Day 48 Late Night, On the way to Narrogi.

As we run I give a warning. After all, I can’t help but be anxious whether the person inside the silver armor can hold back enough or not?

「So you definitely shouldn’t kill them, okay? We are there only for rescue and escape assistance. Even if someone comes, luring them out of town is enough. Kind of?」

Armored Pres-san is nodding energetically, but does she really get it? However, the Stalker Girl was faster than I expected.

Taking action arbitrarily might be a problem so I first went to meet with Meripapa-san, but while we were talking, the Stalker Girl went back to the neighboring domain, so we had to leave in a hurry and are now chasing after her. I mean, I never left the frontier, so I don’t even know the way? No familiarity with the terrain whatsoever? And Armored Pres-san is insisting on tagging along no matter what, so I can’t fly as well?

「So this is the pass? It’s pretty long? Past it lies the neighboring domain, but since it’s late-night I doubt there are any stores left, so let’s pass it straight away. I’m going to leap when we make it past the pass, so hop on my back then, okay?」

Oooh! I’ll get to give a piggyback ride to a girl! Well, she is wearing armor, so carrying her on the back doesn’t promise much fun, but as a highschool boy, I can’t help but rejoice at the first piggyback ride! Even though she is wearing armor… Yeah… That leaves a lot to be desired in a tactile aspect…

However, it’s really one long straight pass… And we still haven’t caught up to her, and since we didn’t spot her by now, does it mean that she has already reached the town? Isn’t this a problem? I definitely will get scolded if something happens to her. And I’m sure it won’t end up with a sermon alone, even my allowance might be reduced. And the Poster Girl who became all chummy with her might never speak to me again. I might get kicked out of the inn if I don’t hurry? I also have a big tab there, so it might be a real problem?

I finally caught the Stalker Girl’s presence when the town gates came into our sight.

Since she is over there, does it mean she is inside the castle? Searching through the castle is not easy? I thought about blowing up the castle in the worst case, if it seems that we can’t make it in time, but now it’s impossible. And I doubt they have a guide or a map for visitors? I mean, the castle is too shabby for a tourist attraction. In this case, it might not be that hard? They seem to be trying hard with appearances, but it seems to be all just for show? Just a mansion remodeled to look like a castle. Well, it’s still a lot more splendid than the mansion of the frontier lord, but despite being worn-out, the frontier lord’s mansion was combat-oriented. This one is big and pretty, but the walls seem thin, the windows are too numerous, and what’s even more important, it has too many useless decorations, making scaling it an easy matter.

Using Farsight from Rajingan I was able to confirm the situation inside the town and the location of the fake castle, so it’s about time we make our way inside.

「Okay, hop on my back and hold tight. Don’t expect a smooth flight.」

Honestly, getting 『Ring of Golem Maker』from the dungeon was really lucky. It created a chance of protection. Until now extermination was the only option, but it opened a possibility of giving an ultimatum and keeping the enemy in check. I finally have an option of resolving things without destroying the town? She just had to inform the local lord and the residents. Why would she do this? Making a mess is my specialty. Taking her for a simple spy specializing in tailing was a huge mistake.
Good grief, I’m always surrounded by idiots, and somehow I’m always the biggest one of them all. I didn’t even consider this possibility.

I lose my cool after finding『Ring of Golem Maker』.

I was too ecstatic after finding a possibility of protecting, which numbed my judgment.

And panicking over the danger to the numerous people, I ended up overlooking the danger to the sole Stalker Girl. What an idiot I am.

I couldn’t care less if I can or cannot make it in time, I will make it.

Failure is not an option. It doesn’t matter how slim the chance is, if it exists, Epic Luck will take care of it. That’s why…

「Teleport.」

I teleport to the Stalker Girl’s location.

If there is no chance to make it in time by leaping through the skies, then I will leap through space. Live combat trial with no rehearsal? I just hope I won’t end up in a wall, Wha————!!!

Whooooa! That was close! Who the hell put their sword right in front of me! That’s dangerous! This almost turned into an unfortunate accident with bisection on teleportation! Why is this world so bent on dangerous stuff colliding with me? That hurts? If it hits me? And on top of it, a sword, I could’ve lost something? Good grief…

Mmm? I reflexively grabbed the sword, but the tip was about to hit the Stalker Girl? What is she doing? It’s dangerous, you know?

「Long time no see? Although you stalked me all right until the evening? Or rather, why do you have a sword sticking to your forehead? Is this a hobby of yours? Wait, I got it, you are puncturing pimples? You shouldn’t do that, it’s better not to touch them? For real.」

Yeah, if you pop them without thinking they might fester and spread? I recommend washing your face and steaming it with a warm towel for a few minutes before that? Seriously. And to use a sword on top of that? That’s just unhygienic.

I don’t quite get it, but she seems to be crying, so I pat her on the head. Most of the problems can be solved by giving candy and patting the head. This is a trick to escape sermons. Though it doesn’t seem to work for me, I’m pretty sure it is? Sort of?

「Fugueh!」

Hm? I think I heard something? If my memory serves me right, 『Fugueh!』is the sound that orcs make? It’s been a while? And what’s the deal with this unsteady footing here?

「Huh? Why is an orc pretending to be a floor? Is this a trap? So『Trap Ring – Automatically Disarms Traps』didn’t work? Being ineffective on top of having no place to be used is not even about flags or foreshadowing anymore? The great dungeon might get recall demands at this rate? But the person in charge bunked off? 」

「Who are you calling an orc you insolent scoundrel! Hurry up and move your feet away already! Fugueh!」

The orc spoke! Even Goblin Emperor couldn’t do that?! Is this the highest evolved form of orcs? It looks dumb, but is it actually smart since it understands speech? But our dumber-than-goblins idiots are also capable of something resembling speech, so that might not be the case?

「Uhhh… The orc-like person you are standing on is Narrogi-sama. Despite how he looks, it’s the lord of this territory, and not related to orcs, I think? The last part is still under investigation.」

「Who is Narrogi? If you throw names of random strangers like that at me there is no way I will be able to remember them? Can’t it be just Orc N? And you have to investigate it properly, or it would mean you are letting an orc freely roam through the town? It’s dangerous, you know? It looks pretty weak though.」

Well, if it was an otherworldly world’s town of carnage, where every resident is armed with a club, then an orc would be in greater danger, but for a normal town, it’s a threat. Yeah, the walls of that town probably exist to prevent poor orcs that wandered inside from escaping. The town of carnage is terrifying.

「Umm, err, that orc-like person is the lord of this domain…」

「Oh, c’mon? Why would you make an orc your lord? Just look at this stupid mug? It must be an idiot? Couldn’t you at least pick a kobold for your lord? 」

If they are to make such a stupid-looking orc their lord then they would’ve been better off taking a kobold instead. Kobolds actually have some wits to them. If they were just a bit smarter then they could’ve been able to learn tricks like dogs. I recommend kobolds instead of orcs. For real.

「DON’T SCREEEEEW WITH ME!! You low-life, how dare you call an aristocrat an orc! Stupid looking? Cut him down!」

「……」

Errr, no idea whom it was trying to tell that, but the guards didn’t hear that? You won’t get anything from them.

Or rather, Armored Pres-san? I know I said that you can’t kill them, but why would you drill them instead? Your drills are worse than torture, so that’s too much? I went through it more than once, so I know what I’m talking about? Written as training pronounced as a living hell. Definitely.

The guards that have no strength to even stand anymore are shooed away and escape by crawling. Yeah, I get how you feel really well. It’s tough, isn’t it? Even hell is too cute of a word for it? But that’s just pre-warm-up exercises, basically, stretching level stuff? A real drill has not even begun. Seriously.

「What do we do with this orc? I was told not to touch the lord of this region, but since it’s an orc, killing it should be alright, no? I mean, it’s an orc? And it’s sort of disgusting, all soft and flabby? Shall we do it?」

「Fuheeeh!」

No-no, I didn’t slaughter it yet? What? An orc fainted? A fainthearted orc? Well, if an orc can be a lord, then there might be cowardly orcs as well, but since it’s a monster can’t it be a little bit more like… You know? Maybe it should get drilled as well? Might help with getting rid of that flabbiness? This might be too much even for Commander Billy but the Armored Captain should be able to handle it.


 


8 Comments

  1. F, get rekt as an orc.

  2. Fun fact- In the LN the bitches are called as mean girls and the bitch leader as Queen Bee.

    I read the first vol of the LN but found this one more funnier.

    • Purely editorial decision. They are called the same in raws for LN and WN, but both 7Seas and Skythewood decided that it would be too much.
      I see where they are coming from, but changing it to mean girls, in my opinion, made all of the indignation over this nickname kind of meaningless, as well as removed the context for quite a few lines.

      • Am I Un-Dead Yet?

        Pretty sure we’ve all read enough to understand the difference in definition of bitches between Japanese and English. With different target audiences, I can understand 7seas, but i think skyinthewoods could have left it as is.

      • No offense to the other guys but I prefer your version so thanks for the hard work.

  3. Thanks for the new chapter!

  4. sekrit_is_my_waifu

    Thank you Translator-san and Editor-san? Sort of?

    Another chapter without any flat gaze? Will power is slowly fading? Kind of? Need to recharge soon? Maybe?

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