Chapter 141: Perhaps I should make fliers on recruitment of a honey trap.

 


Translator: “Pink Tea” Editor: ”Ryunakama”


Day 48 – Nighttime, White Weirdo Inn.

「According to the report, this person apparently『Slashes Heaven and Earth, Puts down man-eating fiends, annihilates devils and demons, lowly riffraff is but a dust to him』?」

「More like, Feigning Ignorance, Pretending like nothing in Heaven and Earth involves him, a loafer always rolling around, all he does is outrageous. I think that would be more accurate?」

Isn’t this pretty harsh? How can you say that a man that just beat the Great Dungeon is a loafer that does nothing? For real?

「Hmmm? As I remember, he made holes~ in the ceiling and floor, tricked the dungeon emperor, and made his way up through trickery?~ 」

Tricked ? What a terrible thing to say, I did nothing of that sort. I only tamed her a little bit? Seriously.

「The report that went to the capital said that it was a giant of a man with kind eyes? Just who could’ve seen such a thing?」

「Hmm, maybe they misheard it? Maybe it was a giant pain in the arse with lewd eyes? Probably?」

「Or maybe, a lewd man with sharp eyes? Ah! There was that time when he made a very scary look and it turned into a bit of an incident, so it must be that! 」

Why is everyone trying so hard to completely shut down the kind eyes part? Some people already started crying because of that? Namely, me.

「Also, the frontier has a rumor of a black magician going around? Who also seems to be called the croquette missionary.」

「Aah, after reading so much we finally found something that is actually true. The croquette missionary is a real thing. Eh? Wait a moment? So Haruka-kun was the black magician from the emblem of the stall of Croquettes of Black Mantle Crest!」

「I heard that one~? That’s like~ there was a poor village~, which was saved by a great wizard in a black mantle that suddenly appeared there~? The old man at that stall was crying~ telling that story~? At the village, they seem to be praying to the black wizard every morning and evening~. I doubt there would any help from that though~?」

「Yeah, that person is more in the calamity department, either being related or directly causing them? But you know, that worship might actually spook misfortune, causing it to stay away!」

We should be examining the info gathered by Stalker Girl’s clan, but for some reason, to me, it seems like a badmouthing contest? They should be going through the reports, not through their list of insults.

「Through a dungeon into the depths of terror with one glance, that sounds quite close to the truth? Wasn’t the Dungeon Emperor shivering in tears? She even said that it probably was the scariest she felt in her entire life? They almost got it right.」

Okay, that Dungeon Emperor is in for a good punishment tonight. Oh, how I am going to punish her with this, and this, and also with that. I’m going to punish every inch of her body from head to toe. I’m going to do my best.

Stalker Girl’s report continued, and my mind continued to take damage. Apparently, Stalker Girl’s clan was originally meant to act as intelligence agents for the frontier, but when the neighboring town turned against the frontier, with their base located in the neighboring domain, they ended up with their families basically taken hostage, and before anyone knew, turned into spies working against Omui. That seems to be the reason why in the end, in what can be seen as an open revolt, they moved as a whole clan and prompted the citizens to evacuate to the frontier. For the whole clan to get so desperate is just idiotic, but well, since Meripapa-san scolded them pretty hard I guess it’s fine.

「They asked lord Omui to send them to die on the frontlines for betraying Omui and got lambasted incredibly hard for that. 『Where is there a fault in protecting your family or clan? If that is a crime, then all of the frontier are criminals. Rather, were you to come to the frontier’s rescue, abandoning your family and close ones, I would’ve cut you down myself! In the frontier, you should have pride in managing to protect your family!』 Is what he shouted at them. Not only did he not call them traitors, he praised them for doing well, and even asked them to serve Omui himself, they told me crying.」

Stalker girl also was in tears from just talking about that, so they must’ve been really happy to hear that. However, who is that lord Omui that they are talking about? I don’t recall ever meeting a person talking in such a fine way, so it must be someone I’m not familiar with.

「But now there is surely no need to worry about any assassins being sent after Haruka-kun. There is no way they can find or get close to him with such info.」

「Yeah, unless he wanders around in a black mantle with croquettes in his hands no one will recognize that it’s him? That point about kind eyes alone makes any attempt to find him impossible.」

「Yeah, and other reports are even worse, black armor, or giant sword, or long blond hair and almond eyes, or silent and all covered with scars, or a man with a thoughtful gaze, or whatever, are all just completely off.」

「But you know, don’t assassins often attack at night, when the person is asleep? Imagine how much danger assassins will end up in if they intrude into the room where Angelica-san and Haruka-kun are together at night!」

「「「It’s risky in a lot of ways!」」」

How rude, but if it’s a beautiful female agent, then I’m fine with being targeted. Let’s put a guideboard outside the inn. I also love honey traps from beautiful female agents? Never tried one though. Perhaps I also should make fliers on the recruitment of a honey trap? Even more side work, huh.

「Also, this is still unconfirmed, but there is information that the royal family wants to obtain the treasures and equipment of the dungeon master of the great dungeon. So there also might be a threat from thieves.」

Can thieves steal Armored Pres-san? Treasures and equipment of the dungeon emperor… That’s just her? The entire person? And she herself is the strongest and the scariest crime prevention device? An absolutely invincible trap. I’m pretty sure, beating a dungeon would be a lot faster, and what’s more important, easier, than stealing her? For real!

「And somewhat unrelated to this, but there are also reports that first-rate adventurers and skilled mercenaries are heading over here. It is not clear if they are heading for the frontier, but there were numerous messages of them moving this way.」

「Aaah, challengers for that Fake Dungeon? Uwaa, they are going to enter that place, completely oblivious… I feel sorry for them.」

「But they should do better than regular troops? They might reach pretty far? They might even set a new record.」

「I don’t think they will be too thrilled if all their hardship results in only a new record? Since they can’t get through it, they are already pitiful. And they will probably lose all their equipment as well? 」

「「「Poor guys!」」」

I think destroying equipment instead of killing should be more effective? After all, one cannot fight without items, and if they come back alive they will spread the word that the dungeon is destroying equipment? And if people hear about that, they probably wouldn’t want to enter. And if someone commissions to go there anyway, the payment for such a request would include the price for high-grade weapons and armor, so the client would soon go bankrupt.

I also received a few papers with ideas for the fake dungeon? One of them was filled with nothing but lewd traps, probably written by the geeks. Let’s discuss it with them later. A sticky trap, and then a Corrosion attack followed by a tentacle monster… Genius! This is worth discussing! Well, that aside, if I also change the traps from time to time, everyone will probably get fed up and will eventually give up. And probably lose all their weapons as well. I wonder where tentacle monsters live?
If no one comes, we can focus on the internal affairs in the meantime. While things are peaceful here we can proceed with dungeon exploration and economic development. People won’t just multiply overnight, but since citizens of the neighboring town already came here and we have plenty of magic stones, the industry should soon develop. Until now the poverty and labor shortage prevented even commercialization, but how that things are safe and the situation is good, the division of labor and specialization should advance on its own, and if it goes too slow, I can just make and distribute magic tools for industrial use. If that makes goods and money go around, then the town and surrounding villages will do alright.

That’s why from tomorrow we are back to dungeon exploration, they are a safety risk and an obstacle to development, plus there is a possibility of finding other artifacts like『Ring of Golem Maker』. And I’m sure, my Affection Rating is probably hiding somewhere there as well? There is no way it won’t be found anywhere, right? Seriously?

Then we kept exchanging information on the dungeons currently in the progress of exploration, until late at night. Discussion of possible party compositions and plans for the union. In the end, it seems the only dead dungeon is the one that the Board Members and I went through. Everyone else is currently struggling near the 40th floor. Well, making it through with only one party is pretty difficult. Additionally, strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and compatibility also seem to be huge factors.

The discussions of formations and capture order continued into the night, so I served everyone french fries with ketchup, and got scolded『How cruel you are to offer girls fried potatoes before sleep!』? Is what they were saying while eating all of it? How is that my fault?

Since it got pretty late we decided to stop for today and leave for our rooms. Nice, time for some side work. And also a second battle. Time for a showdown, I also want to take a bath, so we are locked in naked wrestling in the room. For my strategy, I decided to go with repeatedly thrusting at high speed like a woodpecker. A decisive battle! The Ecstasy of Red and Black!

[TL Notes:
[1] Reference to Heaven and Earth (1990), a movie about a conflict between Uesugi and Takeda clans, the advertising slogan for which was “Ecstasy of Red and Black”.
]

 


5 Comments

  1. Thanks for the new chapter!

  2. Let’s add Horny Woodpecker Style as surprisingly dangerous martial art.

  3. sekrit_is_my_waifu

    Thank you Translator-san and Editor-san? Sort of?

    He needs to visit his cave house? For some jacuzzi time? Maybe? Punishment for armored Pres san?

  4. Thanks for the new chapter!

  5. guilherme2lima101

    “Okay, that Dungeon Emperor is in for a good punishment tonight. Oh, how I am going to punish her with this, and this, and also with that. I’m going to punish every inch of her body from head to toe. I’m going to do my best.”
    Poor girl! But you reap what you sow.

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