Translator: “Pink Tea” Editor: ”Ryunakama”
Day 53 – Daytime, Dungeon, 68th floor underground.
It feels vain to work hard and get nothing in return, you know? It does nothing to heal the wounds of my soul? Let’s at least jiggle Slime-san… I’d like to jiggle Armored Pres-san, but it’s life-threatening, so I’d rather not. I mean, a mere thought is enough to fill the entire floor with bloodthirst?
「Hmm, it’s sort of meh? No, it’s just that the items until now were too good? But finding something better than too good is the great and giant expectation from the lower floors? I’ve never been to Tokyo Dome so I can’t say how many Tokyo Dome’s that expectation is, but my expectation was very big? I’m sure Tokyo Dome is quite huge as well? Probably? No, I mean, I’ve never been there, so how would I know? But, I guess?」
So meh, that I couldn’t help but grumble aloud. I mean, enemies of the 68th floor were very formidable! The very staple of formidable enemies, 『Doppelganger Lv 68』! Since they looked the same and had the same strength they were extremely tough! That has to be the case. I mean, There were numerous doppels that looked just like Armored Pres-san? Isn’t that unbeatable? isn’t that amazing? Yeah, they died in one swing though? Extremely tough enemies of the same strength died with just one swing of her sword? And here I was getting excited all on my own? Saying『Whooa, no way! Doppelgangers?!』, and getting all hyped up?
And when I checked if Slime-san is alright, it was busy with a meal. Well, the doppels did their best, you know? Like, they tried really hard to 『Mimicry』? But how do you mimic something with an irregular form like Slime-san? And while they were busy, doing their utmost to adapt, they got eaten. The doppels didn’t get even one chance? Were they tasty?
「Don’t screw with me, Don’t screw with me, Don’t screw with me, Don’t screw with me, Don’t screw with me, Don’t screw with me! Haah, haah, haaah.」
Surrounded by people in black robes that were supposed to look exactly like me, but for some reason have incredibly wicked and fiendish eyes akin to the very depths of the abyss itself. Who the hell is that! There is no such a person! If there was such a person walking around, all of the passersby would be getting heart attacks! How can it be? I definitely don’t have such a look? This is just too cruel! I mean, it’s not even human eyes! That’s not how I look, right? Such eyes are too much? Having such eyes will forever prevent one from making any friends, you know? Wait, I don’t have any, don’t I?! Yeah, that reminds me, I’m a loner. No, that’s not true? That’s definitely wrong. Really? It’s really not like this? Like, seriously?
For some reason, there is someone patting me on the back? Slime-san is also nearby? Did they prepare for this? Ah, then, I’ll be in your care. (Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat…)
And despite going through such a nightmare, all I got from the treasure chest was 『Estoc of Destruction – PoW SpE DeX 30% Up, Weapon and Equipment Destruction』the potential is good, 30% buff to three stats. However, the effect of destroying weapons and equipment is really dubious? After all, most of the monsters are comrades of Nudist Girl, strolling around completely naked? No equipment on them at all. Well, in that respect, Nudist Girl is wearing equipment, she just takes it off? Well, anyway, it’s questionable. And what makes it even more questionable is that it is an estoc, a thin sword made almost exclusively for stabbing. A thrusting sword meant to attack gaps in defenses, an antipersonnel weapon unfit for blocking or cutting? And speaking of antipersonnel, the geeks are probably the only people around asking to be stabbed? Well, since it’s a rare opportunity I might as well use it on them when I get back.
If the effect was 『Clothes Destruction』I might’ve wanted it, how regrettable, however, all of my antipersonnel fights until now were against middle-aged men? It would’ve gotten very bad if their clothes ended up destroyed? For me? Assured destruction of my mind? Just why on earth do I have to fight naked middle-aged men? It’s a fantasy world, so why is it swarming with middle-aged dudes? Teleported to another world but every character is a middle-aged man? It’s fine to just destroy such a world without bothering teleportation, you know? Yeah, total annihilation works just fine? Should I go for it?
「Aagh~ it pisses me off! What the hell are those repulsive eyes that look like pits to the void? Such a person doesn’t exist! If he did, he would be wearing eyepatches over both eyes! But that’s a blindfold! Hmmm, a blindfold play… No, it’s nothing, so don’t even think about stabbing me? Also, with the morning star in the right hand and the estoc in the left hand evasion is impossible, you know? Like, literally not possible? Don’t even try? Seriously. I’m not kidding or pretending? So please, spare me from this!」
I tried to apologize. It’s fine, I’m good at apologizing! I mean, that’s what I pretty much always do! I’m so good that I end up abusing it, apologizing even for misunderstandings? I’m quite serious?
Gracefully evading all of the continuous stabs I proceed to the 69th floor, while apologizing. In some regions, such behavior is apparently called 『running away』, but by no means that is true, I’m pressing forward, running ahead if you will! Onwards to glory at full speed! I have to, or I’ll be in real trouble! I mean, can I be blamed for this? Turns out, the impact of yesterday’s full-body fishnet suit turned out to be a hazardous mix with a highschool boy! Really dangerous? Absolutely not to be mixed together? Oh yeah, if we take that, and add a blindfold play to the mix, it will become even riskier and stirring! eh, Guaah! (Undergoing medical treatment)
That time I thought I was about to get stabbed, but it turned out to be an iron ball? It really hurt, you know? I got blown away, even though it only grazed me? And I even negated the attack with the left Gauntlet of Contradiction? So it was an item for protection from Armored Pres-san’s attacks? I see! Come to think of it, all of the items that I found in the Great Dungeon were meant for fighting Armored Pres-san, so there is nothing wrong, that is the correct approach? It hurts, you know? Is she going to keep attacking me? Then, I’ll counterattack tonight! We are doing this every day, but it’s a counterattack anyway! I’m going to mix them all! And then I’m going to… No, it’s nothing? Now, let’s go? Our fight has just begun? Sort of?
Wrap and slash. Wrap the magic in one breath, step forward, and by the time the step is completed, slash, I mean, Kyojitsu is the only thing I can use? After all, monsters close to level 70 refuse to roll over and die after taking a few hits? Oh, again doing nothing but that, well, that’s the only thing I can use? Actually, since I got level 20, I can now use 『Slash』, I actually can, you know? I also should be able to use that Whatever Stab or something weapon skill as well, but I can’t remember the name? It won’t activate unless I declare the attack, but I don’t know the name, so I can’t activate it, but it can be used too? Well, it can’t be used though? But not because of that? I can use Weapon Skills, but I can’t use them? No, wrong, I can use them. It’s just that I’ll die if I try? But I can use them?
I can’t use Weapon Skills. I can activate them, but I can’t activate them?
No, that’s the same as before! Eehm, upon the use of Weapon Skills, the user’s body moves on its own. Weapon Skills would forcibly move it, preventing one from making any other movement, and for a moment, the user will freeze in place. Weapon Skills are basically meant for exchanging hits with the opponents, but if taking one hit is all that it takes one to die, they are too dangerous to be used. So I can’t use them, I’ll die if I do. I seriously can’t be using them!
That’s why I step forward as I dodge the incoming attack and at the same time, finish a cut.
After all, that’s the only thing I can do, I have to kill my opponent with this first, or I’ll be the one to get killed.
Therefore, I advance, swinging the staff, step by step.
Since it’s the only thing I can do, I stick to it, since I’ll be killed unless I kill first, I keep at it.
A step, followed by another step, I keep on killing. Omitting, chipping off all of the unnecessary motions, precisely, accurately.
Since this is the only thing I can do, I perfect it, one step at a time, I press forward. Because stopping will mean death.
「We are done? At level 69 things get quite scary, their stats were near 700? Twice as fast, strong, and sturdy as me? And on top of that, they are monsters, isn’t that crazy? Monsters are stronger than humans with the same stats, you know? Since humans are frail to begin with? Moreover, 『Flame Cougar』is too much! Fights between cougars and humans don’t happen, okay? That’s just a human being attacked. And yet they are burning and also have twice my stats? How am I supposed to fight that? If they were burning cute and twice as soothing, it would be another story? Yeah, let’s post posters for that!」
I wonder if healing-type monsters will see the posters? As of now, the only source of solace is Slime-san? What’s left is the girls, the scythes, and the rocks? I think finding emotional support with scythes or rocks might be a problem? A highschool boy smiling while gently stroking a scythe would look nothing short of insane to others? This leaves only Armored Pres-san, but she is in charge of the other sort of consolation, and she is doing quite well at it… No, it’s nothing? Now, everyone, let us move forward? (Stick)
As expected, or maybe it should be said, naturally, but the lower floors are tough. 『Flame Cougar Lv69』were big burning cougars, possessing extraordinary speed and agility, they exploited their powerful muscles in their attacks with sharp claws and teeth to the fullest. Yup, they are strong but compared to the person staring at me from behind while spinning the morning star, they are much more manageable? It keeps making that whooshing noise with every spin? Did she like it that much? No, I’m really not thinking of anything! Really! Only a tiny bit? No, I meant, isn’t lotion a fine addition too? To the fishnet suit? There is a blindfold as well? Yup, I already made it. When did I manage?
Yes. Yes, I’m coming right away, yes, I’m sorry. It got mad too? Eh? Just where is my heart’s solace? Is it somewhere in the cliffs? Let’s try petting rocks next time, I wonder if it will soothe me?