Chapter 72: No idea from which tribe that custom is, but I refuse to stretch just one ear. I refuse to stretch both ears as well.

 


Translator: “Pink Tea” Editor: ”Ryunakama”


Day 30? – The Faraway Labyrinth, 87F

Hmm, they might break the boxes if we won’t hurry. I made them pretty bulky, but Mirage Tigers have almost 800 PoW and 『Extraordinary Strength』on top of that! I won’t be able to win if they get out. Running away is also impossible, they have over 800 SpE! Letting them escape is not an option. After climbing up the stairs the staring armor began stabbing them through the boxes. It’s good that I can’t see it… Mentally… I mean, the boxes are packed with them! Well, the cries are not cute at all, so I guess it’s fine? It’s nothing but『GUARRR! GUUUUU! ROOOOAR!』… Let’s stab them as well. These are not cats. Not cute at all.

In the end, one managed to escape and chased me all around the floor…… What can I do? It’s a tiger that clones itself! A tiger! Well, it was also splendidly defeated by Armored Pres. Meanwhile, I was escaping by rolling away… I did my best! I’m not lying… Even though I ended up rolling.

And right now I’m in the middle of dismantling the boxes to collect magic stones. Looks like Mirage Tigers could not escape them. If only they were Illusion Tigers, they probably could pull off such a trick.

The next floor probably has another boss? It’s 85F after all? I’m more and more convinced that I will do just fine by sticking behind Armored Pres, but if I do that, I’m absolutely sure that this time I will get the 『Kept Man』title. I don’t want another such title! I already have three of them! Why do I have to be insulted every time I check my status? I never heard of the status page insulting its owner?!

I must be the only person that gets more depressed with each look at the status.

Since there are 100 floors, each with a different type of monster, then maybe, just maybe, this floor might have… Full of such high school boy-like hopes I peeked through a newly-created hole to 85F.

This is the worst! The worst possible low-angle shot! 『Ghoul Lv 58』? 『Ghoul Lv 61』? 『Ghoul Lv 38』? And there are tons of them? Isn’t this a boss floor? Ah, I got it, it’s that pattern, you keep killing zombies, and eventually, a necromancer will show up!! I guess? Kind of? That type of a thing? Right?

Climbing up to 85 I collect fireballs, 『Pack』them, and then knead and stretch, making a wall out of them. Firewall? Kind of a thing? Setting up the blazing wall in front of me I advance forward. It’s an MP-consuming technique, but since I have plenty of MP mushrooms it’s alright.

「Aah, as I thought, there was『Necromancer Lv 85』… Somewhere?」

Everyone burned, so I have no idea which one it was? Because everyone burned. But it seems it was there.

Since a while ago Skeleton?-san maintains a shocking 24/7 flat-gaze state. Oh, looks like she still has enough fighting spirit. Though she doesn’t get to fight at all.

「Jewel of Necromancy – Controls Life and Death, Instant Death, Instant Death Resistance」, a huge gem. Apparently a jewel? Since it’s a red gem, is it perhaps a ruby? Sounds pretty valuable. If it is a red beryl or a spinel it might be just fine. But what if it’s a garnet? I can’t tell the difference. And that simple 『Jewel』is no help at all.

With that size, it can be used probably only for a necklace. Putting something like that in an earring will stretch an ear. Only one ear, since there is only one gem.

「Here, take it?」

It’s questionable if Skeleton-san needs resistance to instant death, but there are only two of us here. And what’s the point of me wearing it? Yeah, I might need resistance to instant death, but I was just fine with Whatever-kun’s instant death attacks? Probably the effect of『Health』? I think? I don’t quite understand many of my skills, but I guess something worked against it? And LuK is unbeatable. After all, as long as the probability is not 100% it will be fine. It seems? I don’t really want to test it, so I can’t tell for sure. But what am I supposed to do with a huge gem? Stretch an ear? What kind of tribe am I supposed to be from? No, thank you.

She is motionlessly looking at me, seemingly thinking about something. And it doesn’t feel like it is a flat gaze. After a while, she bowed once and accepted the gem. Yeah, looks like she likes accessories and precious stones. It might look good embedded in「Elemental Necklace」, design-wise they should go well together. Yup, she looks happy. She is super strong and super high maintenance. Will I eventually be stripped of all my possessions right to the bone and turned into a skeleton as well? Ah, whatever, she is happy, so it’s fine. It wouldn’t hurt if something good happened to her for all that she went through until now.

Above us is…… Still only…… 84F……… 84F means 84 levels, I can’t beat that, right? If they were level 40 or so, then maybe… So does it mean I still have 40 floors to go like this? I must do something? But what?

Above is? 『Griffon Lv 84』? What do I do? They aren’t going to fall, right? They can fly. I wonder if fumigating them will help? What about feeding mushrooms? And they won’t go into boxes, probably? No, how about nest boxes?

Well, as they are named Griffons, they have the front body of an eagle, wings, and the remaining parts of a lion. The one with a snake for a tail is a different monster? Being a fusion between the king of the bird world and the king of the beast world it was often used in the heraldry of royal families, but basically, it’s an eaglion? I didn’t bring my catalog of cryptids, but are they birdbrains? Was it a good idea for royal families to use this? Wouldn’t that imply they are birdbrains as well?

Is it a bird or a lion?

If they are birds, they might have aversion to strong magnets. Not like I have such a thing.

If they are lions, then being cats, the box plan might be effective against them. But they have bird heads.

So are they birds after all?

Stuffing paralyzing mushrooms into fish I offered it to them through the hole, and it was a huge success. Victory for the fish! Scrambling for a fish and swallowing it, they then fly away, and… Collapse spasming. I feel like we might get along as fellow fish lovers, but I’m going to beat them to death anyway.

Rushing up the stairs I begin clubbing the griffons while grumbling to myself.

「I must be the only person that ever got into such trouble while remodeling a living room? Does it count as a work-related incident? Probably not, since I’m a NEET. But it’s a clear work accident.」

Armored Pres is looking at me with a puzzled look. Since if I explain what happened, as an ex-dungeon master of this dungeon she might get mad at me so I keep it secret. Even though the planning was so good… Why a hole? Is remodeling not allowed? At least write it somewhere? Though I’m not going to tell it to the previous person in charge since it is too scary.


 


2 Comments

  1. Dulsara Senanayake

    Is it me or doesn’t danmachi look stupid after reading THIS? I mean Bell is fighting for his fucking life while this mf is casually poking at monsters and feeding them poison to kill them…. Well, no offense but this is indeed hillarious lol

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