Chapter 387
Day 91 – Daytime, Dungeon, 90F
A single blow from that raging giant of pure unadulterated violence cracked the floor, sending tremors everywhere. With overwhelming power no defense could hope to stop, the very ground was pulverized. Yep, this floor boss looks perfect for large-scale land-clearing, except raw materials matter more to me right now than construction labor.
After all, it’s a 「Mithril Cyclops Lv 90」. There’s only one, but it’s a giant, and I can really resupply on it, so I’ll take whatever I can get my hands on. Pouring my mana into it, I perform alchemy transmutation, extracting materials, and shoving every piece of mithril I strip off straight into my item bag. The giant shrinks bit by bit. You’d think it could overlook me skimming a little, it’s giant, after all, but no, it’s getting violent. That big single eye is tearing up? Well, okay, I might be calling it just a little, but I’m going to take everything, so perhaps taking it lightly is not an option?
However, it’s way too strong, so tentacles aren’t enough to restrain it. And cutting it would waste material. Slime-san’s slime tentacles plus Dancing Girl-san’s chains are holding it back, but the dude is still rampaging, making my work kind of tough. Lv 90 with nearly 1,300 PoW makes for an extremely STR-focused build, but I’m taking everything I can anyway!
「Aaah… finally it’s getting smaller, almost cute now, but still thrashing so valiantly. 『Mithril Cyclops』 is about to turn into a plain cyclops, but taking every remaining fragment! I was hoping one would spawn since we’re short on mithril, but since there is only one, I’m going to tear and strip everything? Become part of my wealth! Or something like that?」
The mithril on the outer shell had high-purity, but inside it’s just cyclops. After some beating it turned into a magic stone, but since I already pillaged every bit of mithril first, it’s value is probably not that high. In that regard, perhaps because Slime-san only eats the skills, but its spoils don’t lose much value? Monster disassembly seems to be pretty deep stuff. Well, profit is profit?
Maybe now I can allocate more for Shoulder Guard (Funnels)? They turned out surprisingly handy. I’d capped them at six plates because control was tricky, but I’m getting used to it, might be able to handle more. I still lack elbow guards too, so in pure defensive terms I’d like to extend them further as well, but there are plenty of gear that hasn’t been mithrilized yet. However, first priority is kitting out the classmates, and if there is leeway, upgrade Armored Pres-san and Dancing Girl-san’s gear as well. In my case, if I go overboard on upgrades, self-destruction can become an issue again, so being slow and steady is fine. I’ll skip mithrilizing Mutation-san… Boosting that power has dangerous implications?
They are giving me mild Flat Gaze, but at least they understand how precious mithril is, so it’s not a full-power stare. Which is in a way sort of lonely too, but somehow, the looks they give me when I disassemble monster for mithril, kind of hurt? I mean, it was lying on the ground, so it’s mine, right? Yup, I peeled it off and picked it up?
If Dancing Girl-san could neutralize it with her 『Divine Chains of Prometheus』this would’ve been a breeze, but apparently the girls loaned those right now. I’ve tried using them before, but they are super hard to control, and if you force it the MP consumption goes through the roof, I wonder if they are alright?
In the hidden rooms we found four solid, but unremarkable dungeon items, which I’d like to have for classmates’ gear. Finding mithril here was really lucky, but I don’t think it will last for long? O I really have to start mining after all? What a pain..
Up to the 94th floor, thanks to the three rampaging maniacs, frustrated at having no chance to rampage during the floor-boss fight, rampaging as they pleased, I didn’t get anything to do at all. Well, more like, I couldn’t catch up to them, so I did my best stretching out magic threads and launching funnels, doing what I could to participate, but they swiped every kill. Naturally, I struck cool poses all on my own… Everyone was already gone by then?
And now we’re at the very bottom, the 95th floor. Once we are done with this, there probably shouldn’t be any more 90th floors, but if the dungeons are still evolving, we can’t relax. The military is making the rounds of every dungeon, investigating whether any are powering up too fast. If it’s just a temporary growth spurt, great, but if it’s going to continue we won’t be able to take any days off!
Getting into the rhythm is harder than it sounds. Suppose you make up a tempo in your head, and the body obeys the learned rhythm, the actual result tends to differ from the image .Kinda annoying, really. If slow doesn’t work, why not go full speed? Crank the tempo gear from fast to faster to fastest!
「Uryaaa! Daft Punk time, beats and more beats, bang bang bang away! Kind of! I guess?」
「Totally wrong.
You are just going fast.
And enough with dancing!」
「No pauses, is bad… Speed can be adapted to.」
Unsatisfactory evaluation.
「I mean, thanks to the certain two, I’m out of MP, totally exhausted, and in awful shape since this morning, so why are you two all glowy-skinned and tehe-pero-ing around? Also, stop wiggling your tongues like that, it’s really questionable. That’s not tehe-pero anymore, it’s turning into some new tehe-ero genre. And you are going even faster?! That’s just plain ero-ero!」
When a beauty pulls that kind of move it’s even charming, but I’d like them to stop with this right now, after practicing it on me this morning, it’s way too raw. And are their tongues kinda longer now? Is this a Mutation?
『Spear Centipede Lv 95』a centipede with hundred spears for legs, though I didn’t actually count, so it’s a monster of uncertain about of legs. With so many extra-long spear-limbs, if I tried playing with tempo I’d get skewered, so I kept accelerating until I hit a nice groove and smashed it, then got scolded. All this talk about rhythm reminded me, I do want books, but now I also want CDs, I wonder when is Ki〇kuniya going to get summoned here?
The centipede carried deadly poison and all sorts of debuff effects. Since there were 100 spears, there might even have been spears with 『Increased Sensitivity』 or 『Aphrodisiac』 effects. What a terrifying enemy!
Still, having all its legs be spears made fighting on a slick floor pretty awkward. If it had kept even its last few limbs as normal legs, wouldn’t it have been stronger? Naming problems seem to plague monsters too.
The drop is also a poison-type that no one asked for, not exactly something that can be put on the open market. After all, it’s『Anklet of Hundred Venoms – SpE DEX +40 %, Instant Death, Deadly Poison, Variety of Abnormal Status Effects, Glide Terrain』Yes, another Variety of Abnormal Status Effects… With the gauntlet and the necklace already double-stacking Sensitivity Up, things were getting pretty dangerous. With this anklet it might reach the ultimate peak. Peak, huh…
While I’m admiring the anklet, an intense Flat Gaze stabs me from behind. I tried strapping it to my leg and Armored Pres-san plus Dancing Girl-san started running away, full sprint. Judging by that dash, they’re well aware revenge is due. Yeah, you’re not getting away?
The mysterious 「Glide Terrain」 skill lets you glide over the ground like ice, which is kinda fun, I even did a little slide, but it’s useless in a real fight. Even for running away it forces you into straight lines, so zero practical value. Honestly, its only merit is the status-ailment barrage: turn the whole body into one big erogenous zone, coat everything inside with slick, sticky mucus, and plap plap plap, ah, they ran off again?
「Demand Gear Removal!
I’ll really die!
I’ll go crazy and never recover!」
「No gear, absolutely not, can’t, limits… too far beyond…」
「Eh? Considering this morning’s incident, wouldn’t a hundred rounds of payback still be within reason? I mean, that alone gave me a Limit Break level-up, and why are you looking all smug about it?! That’s the part you’re supposed to regret! Instead you’re puffing your chest out, if you’re going to puff it out, could you maybe take off the armor? Just a humble, hopeful, envious request with an upturned unflattering gaze with which I’m going to very intently observe? …So big?」
As things currently stand, without my equipment I’m doomed to be violated and drained dry. I may have the upper hand in technique, but I’m outnumbered, moreover, my PoW is way lower, so if it does come to grappling, I’m bound to get pinned down, and played with. However, once equipment is added to equation the battle situation changes entirely, turning ultimately advantageous and extremely one-sided, with my knowledge of Armored Pres-san and Dancing Girl-san’s all and every weakness Mutation used on Highschool Boy it wouldn’t be too much to expect 100 victories out of 100 bouts. That’s the sort of dangerous yet marvelous equipment that I have.
In other words, in this situation, with both sides fully aware of each other’s danger, where equipment is the deciding factor, getting distracted by mini dress and then stripped down was my blunder, but there is no Highschool Boy capable of resisting that temptation! The temptation is so strong that resisting it puts into question one’s Highschool Boy dignity, and by the time I noticed it, I was already disarmed? Kind of?
If I don’t take countermeasures soon, I know I’ll get seduced and stripped every night. The clothes they wear are just too lovely, before I know it, I’m staring, they close in, and next thing I know it’s squishy-squishy and both my attention and mind are gone… and my gear is gone too. Those outfits, designed specifically to hit my weak points, are a trap on their own. But now that I think about it, I’m the one who made those outfits, so of course they reflect my preferences… Which are my my weak points
「Man is always his own worst enemy.」
—Émile-Auguste Chartier, aka Alain (French philosopher)
「The true greatest enemy of man lies within his own chest.」
—Lucius Annaeus Seneca (Roman politician, philosopher, poet, and writer)
「The worst enemy you’ll ever meet will always be yourself.」
—Friedrich Nietzsche (German philosopher and classical philologist)
…Wait a second. So this is all my fault? I mean, that off-shoulder mini-dress, the way it clings to the body and perfectly highlights those toned, sensual figures, so it was an own goal? And before that, the China dress with that tantalizing slit? Totally lured myself into ruin. Then there’s the beautiful office-lady type with that snug mini pencil skirt hugging those curvy hips, and those seductive thighs wrapped in black stockings, yeah, I dove right into that flame like a summer moth, burning and burning until I burned to a crisp! Wait, so in the end, the real enemies are those outfits, and the gorgeous bodies wearing them… Wait, that means they’re all enemies!
Tonight, once again, the endless cycle of revenge will go on, like a Möbius strip, endlessly flipping between inside and outside, front and back, repeating forever with no beginning and no end. An eternal, infinite world… Yeah. That’s a good world. I’ll do my best!
「We finished earlier than expected, but the timing is kind of off to start another run. So shall we go back to town, raid the general store and the weapon shop, and indulge ourselves with some irresponsible spending? Sound good?」
(Nod-Nod, Nod Nod, Jiggle-Jiggle)
We offloaded all our unwanted gear at the weapon shop, cleaned out their cash reserves, and made our way to the general store. Lately, the weapon store old man is pretty busy being a blacksmith old man. Bald but beardy?
The general store was in utter chaos, even more than usual. The shopkeeper and her salesgirls were all dressed in yukatas for promotional purposes, but thanks to yesterday’s festival and the resulting yukata craze, customers were really flooding in. The Royal Girl and others hadn’t ventured out into the city itself, but after Princess-chan, Murimuri-san, and Merimeri-san showed up in yukatas during the service at the old orphanage’s chapel’s, it set of a wave of rumor through the entire frontier city. And at the night festival, the Girls’ yukatas became a huge sensation, turning into an absolute hit! Sales exploded! After all, as long as you’ve got the patterned fabric ready, they’re super easy to mass-produce for workshops, just straight-line cuts and straight-line stitches. So even if they sell like crazy, they can be made just as fast.
「Hey! Young man! Help me out here! It’s been like this since the morning because of that yukata thing you made! Sell them! Wrap ‘em! And help people get dressed!」
I mean, I can help with sales and packaging, but I don’t think a high school boy should be doing the dressing part, you know? I’ll have to politely decline that one, we are talking about aunties here, you know? . Certainly, as your average Highschool Boy, if a pretty older girl asked me to help her get dressed, well, I’d probably go all in, fixing her sash, adjusting the fit, maybe even helping her undress, extending every kind of helping hand I’ve got. But those here are aunties. Yeah. Reality is often like that.
Whenever a young girl or lovely lady does show up, Armored Pres-san, Dancing Girl-san, and Slime-san instantly swoop in and do the dressing themselves. Which leaves me surrounded entirely by aunties… Oh well, just folding, wrapping, and selling…That’s fine though, but when did Slime-san learn to dress people? It’s really good?
With Infinite Magic Hands, I handle bulk packaging, rapid stocking, and lightning-fast checkouts, cycling customers through at high speed, while the shopkeeper and salesgirls are busy showing off goods and giving explanations. The yukata themselves are sold cheaply with reduced margins, so they’re flying off the shelves, but the real profit comes from accessories like sashes, sandals, and hair ornaments. People get pulled in by the affordable yukatas and end up buying the full set, meaning, in the end, it’s very profitable. That’s why it sells!
We helped out at the store until evening, and now as payment for their part-time work, Armored Pres-san, Dancing Girl-san, and Slime-san are greedily looting merchandise. Well, I mean, they did have a trio of Dungeon Emperors working retail today, that’s gonna cost you an extra? If you calculated their value in combat power, their rates would far exceed whatever you’d pay to hire every adventurer and soldier in this town, so even if they go overboard, it’s not an issue.
Armored Pres-san and Dancing Girl-san walk along, arms full of clothes and trinkets, both beaming with joy. Slime-san, bouncing happily behind them, is stacked with enough food to resemble a mountain, but still doesn’t spill a thing! That’s some ridiculous balance control!
Now then, time to prep dinner back at the inn, then head to the Lord’s Mansion. They should be arriving right about now. I have to see for myself what kind of mugs those Church folks have, daring to come all the way to the Frontier.
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