Chapter 22 Part 4 – This chapter, in all the 108 previous lives, this is my mother’s story. Wendell is my father’s name. He’s not a new character.


Translator: ranzan


Chapter 22 part 4

I thought that only giving birth to a boy that could succeed the Duke could save me.

And after being informed that the child I had given birth to was a girl, the last string inside me snapped.

My anger and rage turned towards killing my newborn daughter.

I imagined that she, after all, was the cause of all my suffering.

「I’ll kill her…」

Groaning like a beast, I broke out of the nursery and approached my child in the cradle.

My fingers were crooked and reaching outwards to her like a bird of prey.

I could hear the rain still striking the roof.

「This is the child you bore through tremendous difficulty! Please don’t do something incredibly rash, madam!」

Mary jumped in, trying to stop me.

She was a wet nurse that had come to our house a few days ago, even with a letter from my husband recommending her.

She herself had experienced the loss of a child.

And as just a teenager, did she really know the pain of separation from the father and her child already?

Still, she always smiled, even from our first meeting.

Not a dumb smile either…a true and kind smile.

She would greet me correctly and take good care of my pregnant body.

I eventually got along with her as if she was an old friend.

Since that evening of hell, I had become scared of people, but the kindness of Mary restored me to believe.

Wendell’s recommendation was probably in light of that.

I was truly thankful.

He thought that a person like Mary could be safely left with me.

「You’re just a simple MAID!」

I found myself shouting at Mary, who I had been a friend to…it was if I had become my mother-in-law…what happened to me?

I wanted to disappear, I hated myself so much.

But I was obsessed that everyone around me was my enemy.

Mary was reluctant to stop me, though she was trying to keep me from the child.

I, on the other hand, was controlled by madness.

I tossed the smallish Mary up against the wall and she fainted from the shock, back sliding down the wall.

The sound of rain intensified all around me.

I lifted my child.

I was about to dash it on the floor.

Perhaps because it finally saw the danger to its life, the baby cried as if it were on fire.

And the rain echoed loudly.

Stop! Someone stop me!

God, Please!

Kill me now!

And so thunder struck, as if an answer from God.

The white light of lightning bathed the room white.

I felt like someone had grabbed my heart.

Just like when you have anemia, I felt my consciousness float away.

I felt my body collapse and shake in convulsions.

My power weakened and I felt like I was melting into the floor…God had granted my wish…I knew I would die.

「Madam!」

「Please, stop!」

Two old men rushed into the room. Good, with them as witnesses, it proves Mary had nothing to do with my death.

I saw the baby’s face, still in my fallen arms.

Red hair, red eyes. Like Wendell. A mouth and shape somewhat like mine.

The rain was letting up.

That madness that had carried me to the verge of death was now finally releasing me from its possession.

The baby stopped crying.

With my last strength I drew her near, and she touched her cheek to mine.

My daughter…so cute…

God, thank you for granting my wish, but give me one minute to say,

「I love you. I’m sorry to be such a mother. I wish you happiness.」

Sorry. I can’t change who I am, but I still want to die feeling your warmth.

Let me hug you now.

I’m sorry I can’t hold you correctly.

I’ve just become a mother.

But if I could…hold you…longer…that could…have changed…

My eyes filled with tears. That wish could never be fulfilled.

Dear God.

Please bless this child and Wendell.

And finally feeling the warmth of my daughter in my heart, my consciousness sunk into darkness.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

I have died.

There are three men before me: one with the brown beard, one with a black beard, and one with a gray beard.

They were all in tears, saying they had lost the ability to protect me, which is why I had died.

Now I understood all.

They were warriors that Wendell had entrusted with my care.

And in order to protect me, they fought monsters they could never defeat, dying without me knowing it.

I had shamelessly acted not knowing there were men that had died to protect me.

I reached out and took their hands.

I tried hard to express thanks sincerely, urging that it was not their fault.

They were secretly protecting me until now.

And also, thanks to them, no one had dared to revolt against me while my husband was away.

But the old warriors shook their heads silently, clenched their hands tightly, and continued to weep.

Wendell also returned two days after my expected delivery date.

A storm had prevented his ship from leaving, and so he had gone by horseback over the lands all night, covered in sweat and dust.

It had been a while since I had died, but my body was placed in a chamber of ice, so I looked the same as when I was alive. Surrounded by these icy columns, like glass, I seemed to sleep peacefully. It was almost like like a fairytale palace.

Shylock’s second son, Ethelreed, who heard of my death, forced the icy container to be quickly sent from the Shylock’s warehouse. The poison that was slowly fed to me, as well, stopped my body from quickly decomposing. I was secretly poisoned by an abortion drug that weakened by heart and drove me to death. It also had narcotics that drove me insane.

And with that, I finally understood the meaning of Ambrosine’s words.

She was the one that instructed that abortion drug to be used, and she knew their effects.

And it was the work of that woman that ended in the death of these three warriors.

She shall never be forgiven. Ever.

She tried to kill my daughter before birth.

She tried to get me to murder my child.

She crushed the pride of these brave warriors.

The man who killed me was a new chef in my kitchen. His daughter was sick, so he was coerced into doing things he disagreed with.

And to loosen that end, he and his daughter were both killed by the Shylocks.

It was a story with no happy ending.

「…Cornelia!」

My body, surrounded by golden plum blossoms, was in front of Wendell, who seeing me, broke down and cried. He clasped a dress in his fist. It was that memorable dress that was never restored to its former glory. He also had ordered a new one for me before leaving on his trip.

Ethelreed, the second son of the Shylocks, apologized while rubbing his hand over his cheek.

His friend was the one that poisoned me, while he himself had his lover murdered by the Shylocks. He had a gnarled cheek that he had torn out of sorrow, and it still ached.

He has done nothing wrong, though.

Why are only kind people made to suffer?

「Thanks to you, Ethelreed, I was able to see my wife again. Thank you.」

Wendell didn’t blame him either.

And so Wendell had the new dress put on me and he gently kissed me.

He also smoothed my frayed hair.

Like the day we kissed the first time.

「I won’t say goodbye, but instead, I propose again. I’ll be your only companion in this life. I’ll always be with you.」

Then he sat next to me and spoke to me all night as if I were still alive.

And that night, together, we recalled everything.

When I met him. The big tree in my hometown. When he proposed.

He remembered even the smallest events.

His chest shook with grief.

He loved me so much.

He wasn’t a man to speak much.

At first, I really didn’t understand what honesty meant.

He sometimes seemed like he was careless. He called himself strange many times.

But there were so many thoughts in his heart.

He was always thinking of me.

He had also done the secret mission from the crown so he could retire with me to O’Brian territory.

His whole future life was directed towards me and my child.

This was the first time I had heard it.

He had kept it a secret so I wouldn’t be bothered by it.

But he had always kept me first in his heart.

The royal family could not do much without him, so they proposed an almost impossible task. There was a tribal conflict that had been brewing for a long time, and the crown had almost no way to control it even if it took a decade.

Wendell put all of his will into it.

He prepared to return when I had my child. But it took all of his effort…so there was no time for affairs.

And so he continued to weep.

Wendell looked very small, as he spoke to me alone.

「…it seems that after all, all I could do is make you unhappy…」

He was at a loss for words, sobbing. I wanted to hold those shoulders again from behind. No possible way now, but I was so happy to know you. I wanted to scream out and tell him.

But I could do no more. Not even a word.

So sad. Painful.

I wanted to touch him and pick up my daughter again.

If only I could relive my life!

How valuable is time given to a loved one.

And knowing that, I burst into tears.

Then I saw Wendell’s life spread ahead of me. And also the life of my daughter, named Scarlet. He had remembered his beloved promise to me and had named our daughter that way. My chest burned knowing my husband was such a noble person.

Watching over their strange lives, I immediately noticed something strange.

An eerie shadow that had spread behind my daughter’s life.

A cute girl, like a little doll, born on the same day as my daughter.

A girl with a bottomless hole of malice that made those red-bloods seem like innocent children.

「Ah hah hah hah! I feel so sorry for everyone!」

She was a devil that murdered many of Scarlet’s friends and laughed at their deaths.

She gazed from the shadows at a broken Scarlet and laughed hollowly at her pain.

It was such a horrific sight that I shook in terror.

She was a monstrous girl named Alisa whose whole life was dedicated to destroying Scarlet’s joy.



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