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Volume 5 Chapter 1 Part 5

「Wh…What are you guys doing!? Riku! Hurry and stop these two! After listening to Kanjuuro, Manchiyo and Inuchiyo’s brains broke! 」

But Katsuie remained seated on the tatami mat, oblivious to Nobuna’s words. She held the expression of one enduring something with all her might.

「Uhhhhh, Nobuna-sama, Nobuna-sama is going to Saru… B. ..But, I can no longer stop Nobuna-sama from doing so! 」

「Riku! Even you betray me!? Kanjuuro, I’ll remember this! Uhh! 」

「Hahaha, this is the way, Onee-sama! We are given only one fate in a lifetime, so no matter how far apart both of you are, at least today, make sure to not leave any regrets behind! 」

With his face beaming with his accomplishment, Nobusumi saw his sister off as her retainers dragged her to Yoshiharu’s living quarters.

* * *

*SLAP!*

In the meantime, Yoshiharu had lost consciousness under Mitsuhide’s vocal assault, but it was a completely different surge of pain that woke him.

「O-Owwwwww!? What is this all of a sudden? 」

Wide awake now, he found himself face to face with Nobuna decked out in her full western-style attire.

(It’s been so long since I’ve seen Nobuna’s face this close! Her face, so small! Her eyes, so big! Her eyelashes, so long! So beautiful! Ahh, my beating heart, so frantic… Th…That is because this Demon Lord of the Sixth Heaven suddenly appeared and scared me, it’s… it’s not like I’m nervous because I like her or anything! Anyway… eh? Why is she in her furious Demon Lord mode right from the start…? She looks angry enough to shed tears already…. That barely visible demonic form burning intensely behind her, is that an illusion? Just what is going on?)

「YOU…YOU DARE TO EVEN STARE AT MY FACE!? YOU ERO-MONKEY! DEFECTOR! TRAITOR! 」

*SLAP!!*

This time, the pain surged through the left side of his face.

「Oooouchhhh! What are you doing all of a sudden? Did you make my reward even worse!? 」

「SH…SHUT UP! TO MARRY J…JU…JUU…JUUBEI OR SOMETHING, Y…YO…YO…YOU, JUST WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING!? I’M ANGRY, I’M SO ANGRY I’M GONNA EXPLODE! I JUST CAN’T ENDURE IT ANYMORE, I SHOULD JUST EXECUTE YOU NOW…..!」

Inuchiyo, blushing violently as she silently sat at Nobuna’s side, somehow decided now would be the best time to place a katana near Nobuna’s hand.

With a metallic ring, Nobuna swung the renowned sword 「Heshikiri Hasebe」 from its sheath.

「I’M GONNA KILL YOU! I’M DEFINITELY GOING TO KILL YOU! GO TO HELL! 」

Sagara Yoshiharu was suddenly plunged into a critically dangerous situation. Just behind Nobuna and Inuchiyo, Nagahide wore a complicated expression.

「This is just completely beyond my expectations, 0 points. 」

Nagahide sighed, shaking her head. Hanbei, Nene and Goemon gathered together and glared at Yoshiharu.

Only Mitsuhide seemed oblivious to the atmosphere, sitting at Yoshiharu’s side as she smiled and said:

「Now, what is this comedy routine, darling? 」

「Huh? Oh yeah, I remember what happened now. Juubei-chan suddenly came over in a bridal gown to hold a wedding with me or something… Anyway, wait a minute, wasn’t it you who ordered us to get married in the first place, Nobuna?! 」

「Huh? Suddenly it’s *my* fault you and Juubei are getting married!? Are those your last words? They sure fit that monkey intelligence of yours! 」

*SLASH!*

Nobuna fell headlong into Demon Lord mode, slashing at Yoshiharu without a single trace of hesitation.

「Uwahhhh~!? 」

Yoshiharu’s reflexes nearly activated, but his legs refused to move after sitting for so long. His death was a hair’s breath away!

But just in the nick of time…

「Nobuna-sama, you had personally given the order for Mitsuhide and Senpai to hold a wedding. 」

Mitsuhide said energetically.

These words stopped the sword a hand’s breadth from Yoshiharu.

「I’m saved… 」
Yoshiharu found himself hunched over in relief and residual fear.

「I…I gave such an order? Why don’t I remember it? 」

(Geez, looks like Juubei misunderstood something again.)

Nobuna mused as she sheathed her sword, but in the next instant,

「But, because senpai has taken Juubei Mitsuhide’s lips and we held each other so intimately, even without Nobuna-sama’s orders this marriage is a fate we can’t escape! 」

Nobuna, pale and trembling all over, offered Sagara Yoshiharu a single word.

「….DEATH. 」

Her tone was cold, and completely devoid of any feelings. The haphazard sword swings mere moments ago paled in comparison to this terrifying dead silence. Yoshiharu couldn’t help but shiver. Hanbei and Nagahide frantically advised: 「It’s not okay to execute a retainer without any proper reason! 」, somehow sparing Yoshiharu from a death penalty.

But even so, beside Yoshiharu Mitsuhide was still happily singing: 「Love Nest Castle, Love Nest Castle」, obliviously fanning Nobuna’s white-hot rage.

「Monkey, if it was spread that I, because of jealousy, granted y…yo…yo…you the death penalty based on baseless rumors, it would be the biggest insult of my life, so I’m going to spare you! BUT! An ero-monkey like you doesn’t deserve any rank but foot soldier! Sagara Yoshiharu’s Corps is hereby disbanded! Hanbei and Goemon will be my direct retainers from now on! 」

What a typical way of revenge through human resource management.

With this, not even Yoshiharu could stay silent.

「Wait just a minute!!! I have absolutely no memory of doing anything like that to Juubei-chan! Juubei-chan and I are totally innocent. Oi, you should understand, with Juubei-chan’s personality, there must be some kind of misunderstanding! Trust me! 」

「WHAT USE IS THERE TO TRUST YOU!? YOU AND JUUBEI CAN GO MARRY, KISS OR WHATEVER, IT DOES NOT MATTER TO ME ONE BIT! ALL IN ALL, AN ERO-MONKEY LIKE YOU SHOULD NOT BE BY MY SIDE! AFTER RIKU AND JUUBEI, EVERYONE MIGHT FALL INTO YOUR HANDS SOONER OR LATER! 」

Nobuna and Yoshiharu started quarreling again. But, this time, it was not a couple’s fight. It’s a fight that they bet their lives on.

No matter what, the crux of the problem lay in Mitsuhide’s marriage misunderstanding. From their point of view of course.

「I…It’s true that I had rubbed Katsuie’s breasts. But that was her forcing herself on me….! 」

「Liar! You’ve always been lusting after Riku’s breasts! You stare lecherously at her chest every chance you get, don’t you!? You’re the worst! 」

「Yeah, I like her breasts! Men who hate breasts don’t exist in the first place! But, liking it is one thing, and rubbing it directly is another thing altogether! 」

「Don’t deny any longer! Y…Yo..Yo…You, everytime I wanted to ki… You always… always… Uwahh… you are always doing perverted things whenever I want to get serious with you! 」

「Eh? What did you just say? I couldn’t hear that. 」

「Uhh! There is no need for a monkey like you to hear anything! 」

「If this is how much you can’t trust me, then just cut off my head and be done with it! 」

「I am not going to just cut off your head and let you go so simply! You are banished! Scram to Ise right now! 」

「B…Ba…Ban…Banished to Ise? Whoa, how devious are you!? You just mutter to yourself and, in a fit of jealousy, somehow decide to disband Team Sagara and then banish me?! THAT I WILL NEVER ALLOW! 」

「What’s with that ‘Team Sagara’!? You keep using that strange monkey language, but it’s probably not worth understanding! Scram right now! Serve in Shima if you want and do a lifetime of shitty work! 」

「Uwahhh! Disbanding my team at such a critical period when we’re facing both Azai-Asakura alliance and Takeda Shingen, then banishing me to Ise too… Stop joking, you idiotic woman. You, don’t tell me you don’t care about the world anymore? Because of this stupid jealousy, you are okay with losing the world? I’m shocked that Oda Nobuna is such a shortsighted girl! Idiot! Moron! Cretin! 」

「Uhhh! If we eliminate a bug like you, the Oda clan’s army will truly be invincible! You should be thanking me for sparing your pathetic life! 」

Nagahide sighed and said:

「Banishing Sagara-dono alone to Ise under Takigawa Kazumasu-dono is a situation even lower than 0 points. 」

Yet Mitsuhide nodded and said:

「How troubling, are the two of them in a bad relationship or something? But, this is Nobuna-sama’s last test to see if my husband is worthy of me, soI will wait as long as necessary for my husband to pass the test and come back! I will continue to wait at our Love Nest Castle! 」

The ex-Sagara Team members Nene, Hanbei and Goemon were each either shedding tears or trembling, saying:
「Uhhh… Nobuna-sama is so terrifying… How will things go from here….? 」

Nobuna had reached a state of extreme fury. This fury seemed one hundred times, no, a thousand times stronger than the anger that almost burned Mount Hiei down. Only two people present here could possibly calm this fury, but Mitsuhide remained oblivious and Hanbei, though she understood the situation, had hid herself behind Goemon’s back because Nobuna’s expression was just too scary for her. With these two out of commision, Nobuna’s greatest fury could only boil over.

「I can forget a first time, but for this to happen twice, just when I had finally decided to kiss with you, I find you doing perverted things with other girls! Even getting married!! 」

With Nobuna’s mind being fully consumed by rage, there was no one capable of stopping her from giving the order to banish Sagara Yoshiharu. And Mitsuhide, the very cause of this dire misunderstanding, merely clung to Yoshiharu’s side with an excited, oblivious 「Kya~Kya~!」squeal.