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Chapter 23: Still a Mercenary in the Woods!

—Three days had passed since entering the forest.

「Uncle Athos. Do you think we’ve shaken the pursuit?」

「Yeah. If they chased us too deep, they’d risk getting lost and losing men. They probably gave up by now.」

Uncle Athos and I finally had a moment to breathe.

The enemy from the Kingdom of Algeas had chased us stubbornly at first.

But we, the Barbar Mercenary Party, used our knowledge of the forest to carry out a clever fighting retreat and managed to shake them off.

The real problem was…

「The Vaffancrow Empire’s troops we’re escorting are just too slow!」

「Gaia… is there really nothing we can do about them?」

「There really isn’t, Uncle Athos…」

We had around 100 soldiers from the Vaffancrow Empire’s headquarters with us, and 10 women.

Their march speed was abysmal.

First, we had to load the women onto the donkey carts.

These women had been serving drinks and… 「other services」 for the officers at the main camp.

It couldn’t be helped that they weren’t in any shape for marching.

The rest were on foot… but the Imperial officers were hopelessly soft.

「They want to take breaks every five minutes!」

「Well, they’re courtiers. Not built for endurance.」

They were a pain to deal with.

But… they were our cash cows.

We couldn’t just abandon them.

「Uncle Athos, do you have the list?」

「I do! Heh heh… we’ve got plenty of fine heirs from noble families…」

「Perfect. Once we’re back safe, it’s collection time.」

The men around Crown Prince Muno were nothing but sycophantic incompetents.

But they were all from prestigious noble houses.

Just imagine walking through the Imperial Capital saying:

『We saved your precious son, you know.』

That alone should be worth a nice haul.

Uncle Athos and I shared the same crooked grin, just like a scheming magistrate and his shady merchant accomplice.

A certain officer approached us.

「Lord Gaia…」

It was Ponkotts, the ‘slightly incompetent’ officer from the Vaffancrow Empire.

「Yes, Lord Ponkotsu, er, Ponkotts. What is it?」

「…Would it be possible to improve the meals?」

「Meals…?」

Uncle Athos and I exchanged glances.

We were already serving them three meals a day.

The Imperial soldiers hadn’t brought any provisions of their own, so we’d been sharing ours, Barbar supplies.

Ponkotts seemed to understand the situation and spoke hesitantly.

「Only dried meat and hard bread… some soldiers are starting to complain…」

「…What?」

A dry sigh escaped both Uncle Athos and me.

I crossed my arms and looked to the heavens.

Are they really this dumb!?

Uncle Athos furrowed his brow and gave Ponkotts a sharp glare.

「Lord Ponkotts. That dried meat and hard bread is our Barbar Mercenary Party’ rations. You’re receiving them out of special goodwill because you’re accompanying the Crown Prince. You understand that, yes?」

Special goodwill, of course, meant: We’ll be billing you later.

And war rations like these? They don’t come cheap.

Ponkotts looked deeply apologetic.

「We of the Empire’s army are most grateful for the generosity of the Barbar Mercenary Party.」

I thought to myself:

Please repay that gratitude, with something tangible later.

But I didn’t say that aloud. Too crass.

Then Ponkotts said something worse.

「Umm… would there be any chance of… warm soup or wine?」

「「Absolutely not!」」

What kind of spoiled nonsense was this!?

We were just being chased by the enemy yesterday!

Uncle Athos gave me a look, he wanted me to explain the military implications.

I sighed and took over.

「Lord Ponkotts. This is a dense forest where it’s easy to get lost. That’s likely why the enemy abandoned pursuit.」

「Yes, we were quite lucky.」

「Exactly. But if we start cooking soup and make a fire, what happens? Smoke. That smoke will reveal our location to the enemy. We’d undo all our efforts to shake them off.」

「Oh…」

Come on! Think!

I forced a strained smile, trying to be reasonable.

They’re all pampered aristocrats. Can’t blame them.

「As for wine, we’ve got a little. But it’s for medicinal purposes, just enough to warm the body. No drinking for fun. If you’re drunk and we get attacked, you’ll die. No joke.」

「…You’re right…」

Ponkotts nodded in understanding, but still looked like he wanted to say something.

「Yes? What is it?」

「Well… the troops are… a bit demoralized. Lots of complaints. Morale is low…」

「I see. Lots of grumbling, huh.」

Unbelievable. The minute they’re out of danger, this is what we get?

No sense of tension whatsoever.

But… looking after these guys was part of the job.

If complaints were coming up, it was better to deal with them early.

Luckily, I had prepared supplies.

I looked to Uncle Athos, who was in charge of stock.

「Uncle Athos, can we spare a little from the stores?」

Uncle Athos let out a weary sigh, then responded.

「Fine. For dinner tonight, we’ll give them each one cup of wine. Also… we’ve got some dried fruit, let’s serve a little of that. Hopefully that’ll shut them up.」

「Thank you! Truly, thank you!」

Ponkotts returned to the Imperial group practically skipping.

「Uncle Athos!」

「Yeah. Once we reach the capital, they’re getting billed for the wine and dried fruit.」

「Be sure to price it at wartime rates, with a nice fat markup.」

「You got it! A nice, fat one!」

「Heh heh…」

「Heh heh heh…」

Uncle Athos and I grinned wickedly again.

We Barbar don’t let a single coin slip by, not even when we’re running for our lives!

Ah… I can’t wait to get to the capital.